This Friday will be my 24th birthday, and I have yet to be involved in any kind of real relationship with a woman. I've never had a girlfriend, and I've never had sex. My sexual experience is limited to going down on a girl who was trying to force herself not to be a lesbian for religious reasons. That was a year and a half ago. I've not had so much as a date since. I can't meet people, I just can't walk up to someone and start a conversation, it's not me. None of my friends have single friends, or if they do they're hiding them from me. And the online dating scene in Toronto is a all guys and fake accounts.
I'm at the end of my rope here. Should I keep dangling here on it, or just let go and sink into the abyss.
Get involved with some sort of co-ed group, club, sport, etc, something that you are truly into so you can have a shared interest with any women in the club, etc - after that, don't force it - get to know the girls, became friends, and see where that leads. shared interests are pretty much the key here - something you can talk to about someone else, something that you're both passionate about. plus, it's just good practice, being social and getting to know people.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Giving up isn't the answer. I know how hard it is to meet people. I have the same issue, to be honest. I never really understood the whole going up to someone and going from there. To me, that is really weird and kind of scary. But, that is due to me having social anxiety.
Anyway, joining something, that you're into, some form of class or something might help. Maybe look outside of your local area, maybe the surrounding areas might help. If you're able to travel. So the whole online thing could become possible.
I hope that helps.
I suggest you find some confidence....quickly. And stop thinking so much. If you think no one wants to fuck you, they won't. Change your perception.
All of the ladies above have some excellent advise and truthfully feel you should listen to them all. Getting involved forces you to interact with lots of people on common interests. I do have to agree that you find your confidence though. Take a risk when you do find a girl with common interests and you are interested in. Bite the bullet and step outside of your comfort zone no ask her out on a date. It's not easy... You are gonna feel vulnerable. If she says no, don't shut down. Her loss. Use the experience, learn from it and move forward. Good luck!!
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Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
I think you should be comfortable in your own skin, before trying to approach anyone.
Once you are, then start off easy with women.
Go slow.
Good luck.
i hear a lot of me in what you're saying, and the truth is "you need confidence" is both completely true and completely frustrating. it's true because a lack of confidence in yourself is a turn off to others, but it's frustrating because of course you can't just simply say "oh i'll have some confidence" and you magically have it.
it seems to me you get confidence by degrees. start by not defining yourself by your insecurities. you're a virgin at 24? fine. i was a virgin at 29. you're not the first or the last, so don't beat yourself up over it.
next, develop a positive outlook. yes, online dating can be a pain in the ass, but you know what? you're in the MOST POPULOUS CITY IN CANADA. it's not like you live in a town of 200 people. there are opportunities there, i guarantee it.
finally, talk to people here. being able to talk to women here doesn't automatically mean you can do it in real life, but believe it or not it does help.
you can do it. giving up at 24 is absurd. i know it feels hopeless sometimes but it isn't.
First suggestion, SHED the "I'm a loser" attitude that runs off women faster than skunk in the living room! There HAS to be Something you're good at. Whatever IT might be, thee are probably women in your area who are "into" IT. So, try becoming involved in groups that deal with IT (nothing builds confidence faster than being COMPETENT. ;) )
Canuck....from one Torontonian to another, here's what I would do:
- Download Tinder. Regardless of how it's perceived you will be able to go through files of singles and hopefully find a few matches. From there it's up to you.
- Possibly go on POF or another dating site that potentially matches your personality ie...if you are Christian, try Christian Mingle.
- If you are into sports you can try joining a mixed recreational league. If you are into certain hobbies you can join a mixed group and meet new people. Perhaps one of the girls will be single or set you up with a single friend of theirs.
- Do some workouts at home. No need for a gym. If you're watching TV or surfing the web do 10-20 pushups or sit-ups during commercial or whatever break you are taking. Do that a few times a night and try to push yourself to do 50 pushups and 50 sit-ups a night. Then when you are used to it, push it to 100 each. Women like guys who are in-shape. They check them out.
Hope some of these ideas helps. Good luck.
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