A quick bit about me first:
I've only ever been in vanilla relationships before, but have always had kinky (almost exclusively sub) fantasies. I occasionally enjoyed a spanking or a strap-on in some of these relationships, but I've certainly never been in any relationship which could be considered properly sub-dom.
However, about a year ago, I went to a party and fell drunkenly into bed with an ex. Not a great move, normally, but...in the 9 months since we had split, she had 'discovered' her kinky side, and found she was 'switch'. So, not only did I get to live out a few proper sub fantasies that night, I also got to experiment with my (until that night, latent) dom side too. We saw each other a few times after that, but, as I had already handed in my notice at work and found a new job hundreds of miles away, we were unable to experiment further together (she was still very inexperienced as well at this point). However, our brief time experimenting together was enough for me to 'conclude' that I'm also switch, although more sub than dom.
I have only recently decided to further investigate the BDSM scene, and have started going to munches, and talking to others online on fetlife. My ex, however, threw herself straight into the scene, and has for the past 10 months been a submissive, in a relationship with a 'sadist' (her words). During this period, she tells me (we still email and message each other regularly) , her tastes have become much, much more outlandish/kinkier, and she has found herself pushing her limits well beyond what she ever thought would be possible.
So...on to my actual question.....
She insists that if/when I find myself in a BDSM relationship, my limits and tastes, both for giving and receiving pain, will change as much as hers have. I'm extremely unconvinced about this, as I can't ever imagine myself either submitting to or dishing out extremes of pain, but she remains confident that'll I'll drastically change, because 'nearly everyone does'. So....
Since your first forays into the BDSM world, how much have you changed? If you are a sub, can you now handle more pain and humiliation than you ever imagined? If you are a Dom/me, are you stricter or crueler than you ever fantasied you'd be? Or...have your tastes and limits only changed a small amount, or even stayed the same as when you first entered the scene?
I'm guessing that a few people will have stayed the same, a few will have changed beyond recognition, but the majority will be on a sliding scale somewhere in the middle. Could you tell me how much your tastes and limits have changed, and over what period of time it took them to do so? Thanks
Active Ink Slinger
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