Republican retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson who is hoping to be nominated for the party's presidential candidate says prison inmates prove being gay is a choice. Why this would be important to voters eludes me. What does the community think?
All it proves is that incarcerated people still have a sex drive!! And as you rightly point out this should not be of primary interest to the voting public.
Is being stupid a choice, too, or was Ben Carson simply born that way? fucktard.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
I do find in interesting that ONLY homophobes have a morbid fascination with all things gay. (Much in the same way that only anorexics have a morbid fascination with food...) And that would be an unhealthy fascination.
I have NO INTEREST WHATEVER in BDSM practice, so I don't write it, read it or indeed think about it at all. I know some people get it, and good luck to 'em, but I simply don't. Even as a Mod I never dealt in BDSM tales. Not my cuppa. But it doesn't BOTHER me that others like it. That's none of my business.
No-one, (and I mean no-one...) is 100% straight in every and any circumstance. (I believe the same is true of Gays, although I have homo friends who disagree so I could be wrong. Two words. Tom Robinson.)
Being gay is not a choice, it is a variable in the human condition.
And to be clear, I have, (with laughable results) experimented with same-sex practice. It's not something I regret or am ashamed of. It just didn't really work for me. (Although I've never met John Cameron Mitchell, for whom I carry the oddest torch...) See what I did there?
I don't think many people discuss the details of even their friends sex-lives on a regular basis. So, for 'straight' people to be morbidly obsessed with 'gay' sexual practice seems to me to be a little strange to say the least. Why do you care?
Love is love, live and let live. (And mind your own fucking business.)
xx Steph
I worked on a Gay Newspaper for two years. Consequently, I developed very close friendships with several gay friends. My best friend Martin, with whom I shared a house for years, would define himself as 100% queen. During that lovely time, we'd often host dinner parties and Martin would sometimes, after the wine kicked in, prompt me to regale our guests with the sorry tales of my adventures in Gaysville... How they laughed. Bunch of fucking poofs.
I remember it well. I was 18, hanging out with some friends, shooting a little b-ball, and thinking... you know? life isn't hard enough, i bet it would be harder if i was gay. i think i'm going to be gay. that was my moment, the moment i decided to be gay. since then, i'm also decided to a dinosaur, an astronaut, and a small planet orbiting Cygnus.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Being gay and feeling/thinking gay are two different things IMHO. Not saying I am right, but that's my opinion. I think there are those whose gender is a problem within their own psyche (born into the wrong body) and they ARE Gay.
Now, saying that, there is the other side wherein people chose to do it as an alternative and erotic type of sex to heighten their emotional, orgasmic sexual excitement further ". So too can adultery heighten the sexual union because it is a "new partner and forbidden pleasure".
I really considered myself "straight" reading various types of porn with m/f sex (and some had incidents of male/male that gave me a little sexual kick up like as to the kinky excitement generated by female/female action)...or group sex (mff ffm so forth)...even incest within families (dad/daughter, mom/son, sister/brother, aunt or uncle, grandmother or grandfather, cousins, as many combos as you can imagine). So, it seems now that anything kinky tweaks my wig. [But I think wouldn't do incest or extreme b&d or bodily excretions (cum excepted)].
LUSH has shown me that even although I don't believe I am gay and would not call myself gay, I am sexually open to try many kinds and types of sex - and gay sex with other males does qualify and I am definitely interested in doing it with someone preferably from LUSH. That is why I say I am bi-curious and wanting to be in bi-action.
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A determined person with perseverance can overcome many obstacles. They can, many times, perform better than those who are more intelligent, stronger and with better finances by determination and perseverance
Read Bethany's statement , lol, it can't be said better!
After watching a close family member struggle with this for years in secret..........why would anyone "choose" to go thru that kind of inner turmoil.
Like someone also said, is being stupid a choice too?
I think I'm less hoping to contribute to the subject here and more interested in some feedback - I don't have any close gay friends (no one that I would feel comfortable discussing the matter). I guess what I am trying to get at is that I am definitely looking for responses telling me whether you think i'm right, wrong, or I'm so far off I'm not even close to the topic :P
I think there are choices involved, but I don't think the choice is who you're attracted to. I think the 'choices' are whether you choose to try to be straight to conform to the 'norm', finding a partner of the opposite sex that you love as a person, but that you're not attracted to and not IN love with. Or people can feel pressures of religions and feel that they may be attracted to the opposite sex but choose to be abstinent. (I think the prison example is something totally separate - a mix of sex becoming a bartering tool, people using it to gain pleasure, others giving pleasure to gain security - I don't think this has really anything to do with being gay, just sex acts between members of the same sex)
loverman had to bring up the gender identity issue :P that I have no idea about - half of me wonders how we spend one day preaching how assigning roles to genders is wrong, and then the next day arguing that someone can 'feel like someone of the opposite sex.' (I reiterate here - I'm voicing my confusion about the issue and VERY MUCH trying to not be judgemental). We don't want to associate dolls, soldiers, cooking, technology, or anything else with a particular sex, AND we want to say you should be with whoever makes you happy regardless of sex, but then we say that you can associate with a sex other than what you're born into. I don't understand the finer points enough to reconcile these two concepts.
I agree with the overall statement that I hate that this is an issue in politics though. FFS, why does anyone care what two consenting adults do.
So... thoughts? Am I just a fucktard like Carson?
Being gay, straight, bi or whatever is not a choice, its how you were born.
No apologies needed, Derek. I hear the same thing from folks on other sites, too (esp. transgendered persons, who are lot further from general acceptance than gay and lesbian persons here in Canada). And the problem is not just the "fundies" who deliberately target people who are not cisgendered and straight but also well-meaning mainstream people who just don't "get it". We had a long thread on my other board where a transgendered member answered questions from other members over a period of months (it's still technically open but has died down) and I think she opened a lot of eyes (even mine, and I'm LGBTQ-friendly).
What a weird discussion! Scientist proved in the early 90's that people are born gay. They can tell it after making a brainscan.
And the prison story from the presidential candidate... he should have had concluded that prison is such a messed up place,
that people will do the craziest things after a matter of time. Maybe make the prisons more humane.
I'm Dutch myself. In here gay people are allowed to marry since 2000 and can also adopt children.
If being gay can be compared to being transgendered,,,, then i say NO. No one or no thing made me decide to be trans. I've just always been, i think its like being right or left handed,,, you don t know why,,, but you just are.. From a very young age, long before i discovered the pleasures of sex I felt like i should have been born a girl, but I dont think i am Gay,,,, bi,,, yes,,,
If being gay can be compared to being transgendered,,,, then i say NO. No one or no thing made me decide to be trans. I've just always been, i think its like being right or left handed,,, you don t know why,,, but you just are.. From a very young age, long before i discovered the pleasures of sex I felt like i should have been born a girl, but I dont think i am Gay,,,, bi,,, yes,,,
Being gay is not a choice - if I had to explain my reasoning to someone, I'd use music taste as a metaphor.
I like metal. I don't know why, that just seems to be my preference. I dabbled in pop when I was younger but found it ultimately vapid and dull. I don't hate people who listen to pop. I don't tell them, "metal is better, just listen to that!" No matter how much pop I am exposed to, I continue to be uninterested by it. It's just how I am, and apparently it can't be changed. Also, no. My family was not into metal when I was growing up. My parents listen to blues and Bon Jovi. Thus, I'm led to believe my music taste was not due to environmental factors.
I have no idea if you can choose to be gay and enjoy sex with the same gender. I started out haveing sex with girls and couldn't imagine it being better. I never even thought about it with other guys. Somewhere along the way, I started wanting it with other guys and am now totally gay. Was it some latent predetermined thing that surfaced? Was it some physical, hormonal or psychological thing that changed? I have no idea. It didn't start out as a choice that I made, it was a craving that developed over a relatively short span of time. Whatever it was, I am gay now and choose to be so in the sense that it is what I like and want to be.
I think he has missed the point that they are a single sex community locked together for a long time and if they want sex they have no choice but I wonder how many keep having gay sex when released
