Since birth of last child me and wife have not had sex for 2 years now with 4 kids it's hard and when we do have time nervous to make first move tried talking to her but never get any where what do I do really need sex after 2 years please help
Pick the best time of the month, then all-night babysitter, preferably a relative, romantic meal in country hotel with lots of wine and a four poster bed booked for the night. Even better is a weekend.
I had a married friend who had a similar problem with her husband and did the above - worked a treat.
You could also just stop trying to have sex and instead have fun. Put the kids to bed, grab a couple of glasses of something, put on a movie and you and your better half sit together on the sofa and fool around. Just have fun, and sex will happen.
Will try anything getting away sounds good but will go with cuddling up with a drink and a film been do long since we even done that fingers crossed then
Have you tried to talk with her about this? Asked her why she doesn't want sex? Sometimes it might be because she is exhausted by looking after four children. Do you help with that? Maybe bathing them at night or helping her to pack school lunches the night before. Do some laundry or maybe clean some of the house? If you do these types of things already then that's a good start. If you don't do anything to help her then that is possibly one of the contributing factors you're not having sex. It's different for a lot of women than men. A lot of us can't just jump into bed and immediately want sex. Maybe you could try hiding a couple of notes (somewhere you know she will find them easily) for her once a week, telling her you love her or that she's sexy. Perhaps one day arrange a baby sitter and take her on a picnic somewhere nice. I mean YOU make the food for the picnic. Take her for a walk and buy an ice cream. Take her to the park and push her on a swing. None of these things will cost any extra money but they will make a difference to how she feels in general. Good luck.
I know what your saying but I do all the cooking in the house and we half cleaning duty and take it in turns getting kids ready or too bed so it's not really that. I am always telling her how I feel I'm really trying not to be pressuring but I miss the closeness even just cuddling up I feel like I'm being selfish sometimes for wanting sex I do as much as I can so she's rested and relaxed but still nothing back but I can't get her to tell me what's up or just talk about it
Ok. Cross that off the list then. Has she been acting any differently since her lack of interest in sex? Sometimes it can be a hormonal issue. Sometimes post-natal depression can kick in and not necessarily immediately after the birth.
Here's my 2c worth. and that's all it is , doesn't make me right.
She is your wife and I believe she should at least talk to you about this. Suggest she go to her doctor and talk about it, perhaps have hormone levels and any other tests that might be relevant. I would suggest relationship counselling but if she won't talk to you it's not likely she will agree to counselling. Sorry I can't help any more than that :s
