Ok so I've been in an online relationship with another Lush user for the last two, almost three years. I've been 100% happy with it that way, and have treated it as a genuine relationship the entire time. I've never looked at anybody else and haven't wanted anybody else for that matter. I'm in love with her and she makes me happy.
Only this past summer I've reconnected with one of my old school friends (we ended up being housemates, as I was boarding at her mums house then she came home from uni for the summer) and we basically spent every moment in each others pockets. It started with late nights up watching movies and just talking about everything and nothing. I guess just life. I guess all the story sharing kind of changed something between us but one night it all kind of changed from platonic to something else. She had an emotional breakdown one evening and I stayed up with her and talked to her and then when we went to bed I told her if she needed me just to knock on my door. As it happens, said knock occurred a while later and I spent the night in her bed just holding her. I suppose that was the turning point for us both although neither of us acknowledged it until after a few months after she'd moved away again and she told me she liked me and saw me as more than a friend. We discussed it a little bit, and established the feeling was mutual but we kind of agreed to just let things happen as they would.
I still love my girlfriend more than anything and I want to be with her, but I also care deeply for my friend. I love her but it's not too late for me to prevent things from going further, I guess my main issue is how can I kind of let her down gently and still keep her friendship. I don't want to break her heart with a rebuttal, I think she loves me already but hasn't realised it yet. Then again she might not, but I think she does. I don't want to see her hurt, she's so innocent and naive. One of those rare flowers who somehow have remained sheltered their whole lives. Life is hard... how can I proceed from here?
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we've always had a plan to meet but life keeps getting in the way, I'm still in university myself, and so flying halfway across the world hasn't really been in my budget unfortunately. I want to wake up to my gf's face next year ha. But that's assuming we ever actually meet...
