It has just been handjobs so far witch is fine with me but he keeps wanting more. I think if it went further and the guy started going down on me or making me cum my husband may not feel the same.
My advice for you would be to discuss with your husband how far he would allow you or want you to go and how far you would like to go and try to find a compromise that works for you both.
I would suggest you are going to have to experiment/take things further in order to establish your boundaries ... how else will you know if not to try more.
how far would you want to go if he was fine with anything?
How far if you knew there would be no negative consequences?
Whatever you answer to this, seems like it would mark the farthest you should go no matter how far your husband is okay with?
This probably isn't relevant because, at least if I were you, I'd want to go far as poss if there were no consequences.
I would think that as soon as you try something where you are receiving in some way instead of administering,
you will find out quickly if your husband is turned on by or threatened by others giving you pleasure.
I don't know if many husbands would be having much fun once a guy comes along who appears to fuck you much better....
I think it is very erotic and interesting, and would be fine if I were in any role other than your husbands.
In conclusion, if I was to advise based on how I would feel and think, I'd say go no further than the hand jobs.
But, it is unclear what aspect of this turns him on.
I am a man that enjoys watching my wife with another man on occasion. What I want to see is for her to enjoy herself. The more she enjoys it, the more I enjoy it. She goes all the way, which is what I want also. I would say that you should talk to your husband and ask him just how far that he would like you to go. You could also take it slow, just try going a little further every time. Hope this helps in some way.
I am a man that enjoys watching my wife with another man on occasion. What I want to see is for her to enjoy herself. The more she enjoys it, the more I enjoy it. She goes all the way, which is what I want also. I would say that you should talk to your husband and ask him just how far that he would like you to go. You could also take it slow, just try going a little further every time. Hope this helps in some way.
Maybe he likes watching the guy not you..... Ask him to switch places with you and give the guy a hand job see if he goes for it!
We've been in the 'Lifestyle' a few years now but before taking that step we discussed it at length of how far we wanted to go and set those boundaries. Each time we felt comfortable with what we tried we discussed again how much further we'd like to take things. For us it was all about small steps and as long as we both felt comfortable and happy we would discuss pushing our boundaries a little further. If at any time either of us felt bad or unhappy with anything we wouldn't try it again, or at all. I would suggest you adopt the same approach.
I've been in a couple of similar relationships. In the first one I started dating a girl who I new was a nympho and there was no way I was going to be her only lover. I really liked her, she was amazingly hot sexy and sensual and I knew she loved me and anyone else she was with was just out of need plus she was bi so I got a treat now and then. In the end she ended up getting picked up by Penthouse and a well known porn production company and the power and fame it brought her pushed her and I apart. That said it was a damn fun five years.
The other gal was a different story. It started with us watching porn which progressed into discussing fantasies we each had then to swinging. I actually found I got more turned on watching her enjoy herself than my being pleased by another woman. We got a little turned off with the swing scene after a bit but managed to find her a different lover from time to time. Sometimes I joined, sometimes just watched and sometimes she'd just come home with a naughty story.
Other's have made a good point of how important having an honest discussion and setting boundaries are. Not being truthful or going over the set limits will lead to a bad ending. The point is some of us are ok with watching our partners with others and some are not.
We are swingers and my partner loves watching me with other men and I enjoy watching him with other women and men. The sex afterwards between us is always amazing too.
Discuss it together and I think you will find he would love to see you do,everything.
" I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer"
Woody Allen
If he wants you to go farther, and YOU want to go farther... then go farther. I did, and it's been great!
It is honestly between you and your husband. Have a talk and see what happens. But make sure youd feel the same way if the roles were reversed.
Talk it out with the OH. Ask him how far he would like to see you go. Tell him how far you would be willing to go. Find out if he would like to take part, rather than just watching. Oh and make sure the other guy is on the same page!
I started out the same way with my OH. Handjobs with his mates in front of him. Anyway after talking it many times a year on and well, lets just say we have no limits. I've even slept with the guy when the OH is not about, with the OHs consent of course.
The only way to find out what you are all willing to do is to talk it out and build up slowly.
Enjoy!
Talk to your husband, if your going into this half assed it could destroy your marriage. Establish limits and boundaries for each other, don't do anything your not comfortable with, and take little steps until your comfortable with more. You can always say no or stop at anytime, it's your body and choice. I'm quite lucky in the respect my husband likes to watch, join in or have me watch, it's all been discussed before hand and know what the other will or won't do. It's an amazing add on to our sexual relationship but it's not for everyone. Good luck with your adventures! I hope all goes well xx keeps us posted!
From the "other man"'s point of view:
The husband was seemingly enjoying watching me with his wife at first. He really wanted to watch her seduce me, a younger man, I guess subconsciously he was getting off on the fact that his wife had still "got it". He gave the okay for her to give me a HJ, then a BJ. Seemed in to it, gave the nod to full sex. After a while (I don't know if he was enjoying it to be honest as I wasn't paying attention to him any more), when it seemed like she was going to cum from doggy, he didn't seem in to it at all any more. She said she was close, started talking dirty, I got close, by the time he protested she had started cumming and momentarily after I finished in her and I don't think he liked it. They argued afterwards. I don't know what happened long-term but needless to say they (he) didn't want to try it again.
Long story short, he thought he'd love it but when it came (no pun intended) to it, he really seemed not to. There's no telling when it will suddenly be too much for your husband and when it is, he can't unsee it. I'd be very careful.
For me 11/10, would love to do it again, but definitely not the way the husband imagined it.
A cautionary tale!
to the point hubby starts to get upset
Communicate! Talk it over! Set your limits. It shouldn't be too complicated. I know some people don't communicate verbally well, but give it a go. Best to plan things out ahead of time, rather than react to an immediate situation. "What if..." or "How far do we..." or "What do you want..." are all good question to ask.
What Cyndy said. Don't ask a forum, communicate with your husband. If that's not working your doomed anyway.
I would allow it with another man , but will not watch. Give her space to operate within and enjoy.
Communications is the most important thing. We talked about everything before we started. How far I should go. What he wants me to do. How far I am willing to go. We have been swinging for many years now. We both enjoyed it.
divorced now,but at the time nothing was too far,,
Hubby like to watch me fuck other men. Especially BBC. I'm more than happy to do it for him lol.
Watching your wife have sex with another man can be both an amazing turn on and provoke feelings of jealousy. The way to deal with jealousy is to deal with it, face it, communicate. Jealousy can be tamed with good communication and practice. Watching my wife with another man is hot, erotic, and makes our sex even better. It does inspire feelings of jealousy occasionally, especially when she really gets into it and is loud with her orgasms. Yet that is what makes it erotic and hot, when she has loud orgasms and really gets into it. For me it's well worth the price of dealing with natural and normal emotions.
She also can feel jealousy watching me with another woman. Most of the time, though, she is aroused and will make suggestions, jump in, play with my balls as I'm sliding in and out, kiss her breasts or make out with her.
Practice helps a lot. And is a lot of fun.
There's a lot of good advice from the commentators here. I think the best and most critical is: communicate. Communicate openly, honestly, and frequently. Communication is the key to a successful relationship, whether vanilla, swinger, or whatever else.
