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What are your erotica pet peeves?

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CherryRedGirl
Active Ink Slinger
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What do you dislike when reading erotica?

I don't like when things happen to quickly, but I also don't like when the introduction drags on. I don't like when it's not very realistic.

I dislike when the writing sounds too clinical "i put my penis in her vagina".

And I don't like when semen is called "cream".

What about you?
TheUprightMan
'tis himself!
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I agree with Danielle above. Also, bad spelling / grammar / punctuation are very jarring to me.

When it's visual erotica--as opposed to written--some of the common tropes drive me crazy. Particularly spitting and the obligatory-but-stupid cumshot. I understand the rationale, but that doesn't make me like it any more.

Oh, and the endless closeups. I want to watch *people* fucking, not organs fucking
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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The Laundry List. i've spoken on it before, but i'll do so again.

the laundry list is when someone starts out a story thusly:

Her name was Bridget. She had blonde hair, blue eyes, weighed 134 pounds, was 5'6' tall, and had 36DD boobs.

you get the idea? a story starts like that an i am done with it.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Jen
Charming as fuck
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Quote by sprite
The Laundry List. i've spoken on it before, but i'll do so again.

the laundry list is when someone starts out a story thusly:

Her name was Bridget. She had blonde hair, blue eyes, weighed 134 pounds, was 5'6' tall, and had 36DD boobs.

you get the idea? a story starts like that an i am done with it.


This.

This is how police describe suspects.

"subject is a Caucasian male. Five ten, 200 lbs, brown hair, blue eyes.... And a 17 inch penis."

Please.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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Quote by Echelon


This.

This is how police describe suspects.

"subject is a Caucasian male. Five ten, 200 lbs, brown hair, blue eyes.... And a 17 inch penis."

Please.


You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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Quote by Echelon


This.

This is how police describe suspects.

"subject is a Caucasian male. Five ten, 200 lbs, brown hair, blue eyes.... And a 17 inch penis."

Please.


You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Buz
The Linebacker
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I had an erotic pet peeve. I trained it to roll over and shake hands. It would fetch and catch frisbees. But it really liked to hump legs a lot.
Stormdog
Gentleman Stranger
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Quote by CherryRedGirl
What do you dislike when reading erotica?


I dislike being interrupted.

But otherwise yes, sprite's laundry list is a warning to me that the story is probably not going to be very good. Also horribly unrealistic dialogue that's just far more descriptive and vulgar than the way most people speak. It's jarring and distracting to me.
overmykneenow
Active Ink Slinger
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The tiresome, awful habit of some poor, unimaginative writers who constantly, unnecessarily pepper their droning, long-winded prose with superfluous, pointless adjectives.
Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
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Quote by overmykneenow
The tiresome, awful habit of some poor, unimaginative writers who constantly, unnecessarily pepper their droning, long-winded prose with superfluous, pointless adjectives.






Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

 ***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
Milik_the_Red
Internet Philosopher
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Quote by TheUprightMan
I agree with Danielle above. Also, bad spelling / grammar / punctuation are very jarring to me.

When it's visual erotica--as opposed to written--some of the common tropes drive me crazy. Particularly spitting and the obligatory-but-stupid cumshot. I understand the rationale, but that doesn't make me like it any more.

Oh, and the endless closeups. I want to watch *people* fucking, not organs fucking


Well stated. I'd rather see the faces or full bodies of the actors as they climax than a closeup. I prefer the scenes to be without a music track as well.

I do like written erotic to have good, flowing prose. If it mechanical or cold, I'll lose interest very quickly. I bent her over. Then I unzipped my pants. I was hard by then. I rubbed my cock into her and then slid in...
Yawn...
Milik_the_Red
Internet Philosopher
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Quote by Buz
I had an erotic pet peeve. I trained it to roll over and shake hands. It would fetch and catch frisbees. But it really liked to hump legs a lot.


That's it. I'm naming my next dog, Peeve.
CherryRedGirl
Active Ink Slinger
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Danielle and Sprite are spot on! Forgot to mention those.
Guest
Lurker
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The laundry list is my killer.

But above all - I don't like paying for rough-draft quality (ahem - Penelope Ward, I'm lookin at you). However, free stories can be whatever - I'm extremely flexible here and there and everywhere. Free is wonderful and a blessing and I have no standards (except for on my own stuff).
Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
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Quote by overmykneenow
The tiresome, awful habit of some poor, unimaginative writers who constantly, unnecessarily pepper their droning, long-winded prose with superfluous, pointless adjectives.


smile clever
Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
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Quote by DanielleX
'Cumming' winds me up. Cum as a noun yes, but the verb should be coming.

Danielle x


I like the word cumming. I get a little erotic charge out of it.

Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
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I don't need characterization, a back-story, a plot, descriptions, exposition, even believability. All I need is a spark between the characters. My pet peeve is when sex is mechanical and lifeless and merely a description of what is happening, tab a going into slot b kind of writing.

Plus, what sprite said.
Guest
Lurker
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Bad grammar and spelling mistakes really annoy me. And as someone whose first language isn't English I really dislike text language and shortened words because I still don't fully understand it.

Also I don't like the word cumming, it took me so long to realise it means coming
Nikki703
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by CherryRedGirl
What do you dislike when reading erotica?

I don't like when things happen to quickly, but I also don't like when the introduction drags on. I don't like when it's not very realistic.

I dislike when the writing sounds too clinical "i put my penis in her vagina".

And I don't like when semen is called "cream".

What about you?


I also hate when the sex happens very quickly. I like to get to know the characters and get a feel for how it all acme to be. I love seduction!

I also hate when it is very poorly written. I can handle bad grammar, bad spelling but I really hate when a woman starts off as Jennifer and she is 25yo and a few paragraphs later she is Jessica and is 21!!
ChuckEPoo
Chuckanator
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Quote by sprite
The Laundry List. i've spoken on it before, but i'll do so again.

the laundry list is when someone starts out a story thusly:

Her name was Bridget. She had blonde hair, blue eyes, weighed 134 pounds, was 5'6' tall, and had 36DD boobs.

you get the idea? a story starts like that an i am done with it.


Agree whole heartedly. I'd make a poor mod. Couldn't get past the first paragraph if written like that.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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Quote by ChuckEPoo


Agree whole heartedly. I'd make a poor mod. Couldn't get past the first paragraph if written like that.


not to mention, you'd have to work for me.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

ChuckEPoo
Chuckanator
0 likes
Quote by sprite


not to mention, you'd have to work for me.


Hey I was married. I'm trained.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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Quote by ChuckEPoo


Hey I was married. I'm trained.


someone's a glutton for punishment. or a masochist. smile

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

CharlotteRusse1
Active Ink Slinger
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Stories about gorgeous teenaged girls screwing with chubby, balding middle-aged men just because they (the girls) are so, incredibly, horny are annoying to me. I suppose the target audience is large enough to maintain the genre.
An old favorite story of mine: The Chaise Lounge
NaughtyKat
Active Ink Slinger
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I love the word cumming.It seems to fit the erotic nature of a story better.
Guest
Lurker
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Poor grammar is a killer for me

That's why I stick to poetry... rules be more flexible with poetry biggrin

I once read a story
The grammar was poor
As I read onward
The errors were more

There was a brief moment
Where the plot did seem placid
But then I spied others
And, oh no! I'm flaccid!
TrinityX
Chat Moderator
0 likes
Quote by theantelope
Poor grammar is a killer for me

That's why I stick to poetry... rules be more flexible with poetry biggrin

I once read a story
The grammar was poor
As I read onward
The errors were more

There was a brief moment
Where the plot did seem placid
But then I spied others
And, oh no! I'm flaccid!


RR stat please! Thank you.
Guest
Lurker
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Quote by TrinityX


RR stat please! Thank you.




I'm glad you liked
Also, hiiiii (waves)
Buz
The Linebacker
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I can't think of a serious pet peeve. But I can say that I do love the word 'cumming'. When you see it in an erotic story there is no denying what it is. It is easily recognizable. Its just a word that works and is proving to be very popular in the genre.

Slang has a very important place in the language and reflects reality. The truth of what is really going on in the language of today's society. We know the English language is in a continual growth mode. Established English dictionaries add new words with each new addition.

Cum and cumming, to me is a much more sensual, sexual, erotic way of spelling that word. It sells what it means.