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Consent

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sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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con·sent
kənˈsent/Submit
noun
1.
permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.
"no change may be made without the consent of all the partners"
synonyms: agreement, assent, acceptance, approval, approbation; permission, authorization, sanction, leave; backing, endorsement, support; informalgo-ahead, thumbs up, green light, OK
"the consent of all members"
verb
1.
give permission for something to happen.
"he consented to a search by a detective"
synonyms: agree to, assent to, yield to, give in to, submit to; allow, give permission for, sanction, accept, approve, go along with
"she consented to surgery"

it's simple. if it doesn't exist in your story between every character, man or woman, please do not submit your story - it will be returned.

thank you.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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If you have a question about what is considered consent in a story, ask before you submit it. don't be the dog.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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If your story involves drugging someone in order to have sex with them, it's not consent.

if your story involves threatening them in order to have sex with them, it's not consent.

if your character says NO and you force them to have sex anyway, it is not consent.

reluctance is talking someone into have sex with you against their better judgement. it is not forcing them to have sex with you against their will.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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if your story involves kidnapping someone and making them give you head because they are afraid of being hurt, that is not consent.

it's not rocket science, people.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

simplyjohn
Site administrator
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That poor lil doggie!
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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Quote by simplyjohn
That poor lil doggie!


he had it coming. let that be a warning to you.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Smoocher
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by simplyjohn
That poor lil doggie!


I agree. Kinda reminds me of that saying about "who has the PUSSY makes the rules"!!

On a more serious note, THANK YOU to Miss SPRITE (and ALL the mods) for the fine job done to keep this site up / running as well as it is. Sometimes...as this thread suggests...we all need to be reminded of the basic rules involved.
Kiera
Short Arse Brit
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Quote by sprite
If your story involves drugging someone in order to have sex with them, it's not consent. Also Illegal

if your story involves threatening them in order to have sex with them, it's not consent. Also illegal

if your character says NO and you force them to have sex anyway, it is not consent. And again illegal

reluctance is talking someone into have sex with you against their better judgement. it is not forcing them to have sex with you against their will.

which again is illegal

I fail to see how any author would submit a story that quite frankly is against the law...I would question said person for even writing something that would get you arrested because forced sex is illegal.

No means no.

The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
Guest
Lurker
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Quote by kiera
which again is illegal

I fail to see how any author would submit a story that quite frankly is against the law...I would question said person for even writing something that would get you arrested because forced sex is illegal.

No means no.



While it's one thing for a place like Lush to devise it's rules and standards (fully understandable and entirely sensible and within their right to do so, something I support). It's a different kettle of fish to say 'you shouldn't ever write a story that involves __ activity because __ activity is illegal in real life.'

Fiction is fantasy.

While some erotica authors might just strictly write erotica for release at Lush - many don't.

For me, there's absolutely no content that's off the table when it comes to my literary grab bag. I'm creating characters, people, and crafting some intense situations. Sometimes certain intense elements aren't meant to arouse - they're meant to be part of the character's life. Other-times they ARE meant to be arousing and are written for those who find such things appealing. Either way, at least for me, it's intentional and not accidental. Further, my tastes don't condone such activity in real life (that should go without saying).

Further, it's not illegal to write such content. Simply because some other things are 'illegal' in real life doesn't keep authors from considering them as story elements (such as murder and theft - all crimes. Writing them into a story doesn't mean you're condoning it). In my view, erotica on a general basis is no different.

I'm aware of people's sensitivities so when I do write dicey-content I give warnings, etc. However, I've found it extremely easy to stay aware of Lush's rules and not submit stories that Lush deems unacceptable.

But not write it? No - avoiding a story just because it might make some people squirm and not in a good way isn't the way I roll as an author.
overmykneenow
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Metilda


While it's one thing for a place like Lush to devise it's rules and standards (fully understandable and entirely sensible and within their right to do so, something I support). It's a different kettle of fish to say 'you shouldn't ever write a story that involves __ activity because __ activity is illegal in real life.'

Fiction is fantasy.

While some erotica authors might just strictly write erotica for release at Lush - many don't.

For me, there's absolutely no content that's off the table when it comes to my literary grab bag. I'm creating characters, people, and crafting some intense situations. Sometimes certain intense elements aren't meant to arouse - they're meant to be part of the character's life. Other-times they ARE meant to be arousing and are written for those who find such things appealing. Either way, at least for me, it's intentional and not accidental. Further, my tastes don't condone such activity in real life (that should go without saying).

Further, it's not illegal to write such content. Simply because some other things are 'illegal' in real life doesn't keep authors from considering them as story elements (such as murder and theft - all crimes. Writing them into a story doesn't mean you're condoning it). In my view, erotica on a general basis is no different.

I'm aware of people's sensitivities so when I do write dicey-content I give warnings, etc. However, I've found it extremely easy to stay aware of Lush's rules and not submit stories that Lush deems unacceptable.

But not write it? No - avoiding a story just because it might make some people squirm and not in a good way isn't the way I roll as an author.


That's fine, as long as you're not expecting people to treat the scenario you create as erotica.

You can go into high street book shops and buy novels that will have subjects that are rightly banned here. When those subjects are covered, they are almost universally intended to horrify the reader rather than get them off.

This is a site for writers of erotica, the stories are intended to titillate in some measure. Something you might see as something to shock might just be someone's hottest fantasy. Instead of making some kind of social commentary you've just fed a potential 's imagination and strengthened his warped fantasy. Well done.

Writers of erotica want to make their readers squirm but in a good way.
Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
Guest
Lurker
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Quote by overmykneenow


That's fine, as long as you're not expecting people to treat the scenario you create as erotica.

You can go into high street book shops and buy novels that will have subjects that are rightly banned here. When those subjects are covered, they are almost universally intended to horrify the reader rather than get them off.

This is a site for writers of erotica, the stories are intended to titillate in some measure. Something you might see as something to shock might just be someone's hottest fantasy. Instead of making some kind of social commentary you've just fed a potential 's imagination and strengthened his warped fantasy. Well done.

Writers of erotica want to make their readers squirm but in a good way.


My only issue was with the concept that an author - in general - shouldn't dare write certain content because, if done in real life, it would be illegal.

To me, erotica's sole purpose isn't to titillate and turn on - a mere stroke story to get someone off with. To me, erotica's greater purpose is to explore humanity and life through sex and sexuality often using frank and explicit means.

Thus, I write Literary Erotica and Tragedies as well as Stroke Stories and Romance Erotica. I'm also building a database for the more "highbrow" and literary erotica content stories because they're so widely unpopular with today's readers (quite tragic).

Of course, I'm not taking issue with Lush's policies - I fully support Nicola's vision for Lush. I'm only taking issue with the idea that I should never dare write the more extremes down on paper as if it in and of itself is inciting rapes and murders and breaking the law (which is complete and total BS).
MonsoonMicky
Advanced Wordsmith
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First, I've only uploaded one story to the site. But before doing so, I read the site rules regarding acceptable story content and adhered to those rules. As a matter of respect to those who work hard to keep this site running, we should all make ourselves aware of and adhere to the rules before we upload a story. I'm sure there're other sites that cater for the more extreme sexual content, so post those stories elsewhere.

Next point, just because a sexual act is illegal in real life or against Lush's rules doesn't make it illegal to write about. In fact, unless you're defaming someone, damaging a person's reputation with the written word -- know as libel -- there is nothing you can write that will leave you outside the bounds of the law. And even libel's a civil offence, not criminal.


Quote by overmykneenow

Instead of making some kind of social commentary you've just fed a potential 's imagination and strengthened his warped fantasy. Well done.


Okay, scenes of and other extreme sex acts may potentially act as a trigger for potential sex offenders, but if you're looking at it from that perspective, then you have to point a finger at mainstream movie producers too. I've seen films that depict heinous sex acts, including . And these are not literary pieces lurking in the dark depths of the internet -- these are films shown to public audiences in cinemas, stocked on shelves of reputable shops and bought and watched by millions of people all over the world.

Don't worry about amateur writers fuelling the imagination of potential sex offenders, because mainstream movie producers, directors and actors are doing a much better job of it than any online amateur writer.
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
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I make it a point to specify in the first couple paragraphs of my reluctance stories that the events are unfolding on "opposite Wednesday".
Dani
Big-haired Bitch
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Quote by MonsoonMicky
Don't worry about amateur writers fuelling the imagination of potential sex offenders, because mainstream movie producers, directors and actors are doing a much better job of it than any online amateur writer.


Then it's a good thing we don't allow such stories. Saves us the embarrassment and whatnot. Wouldn't wanna disappoint those potential sex offenders.

░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░


MonsoonMicky
Advanced Wordsmith
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Quote by Dani


Wouldn't wanna disappoint those potential sex offenders.



You've missed the point. We're not talking about disappointing people here -- we're talking about extreme sex acts in films and books fueling people's imaginations and acting as potential catalysts for people's actions. I'm not saying whether it does or not, but it seems silly when people use that as excuse to not write about acts of crime or depict such acts in films.

On the same token, let's eradicate scenes of gunfire from films and books as they may inspire some lunatic out there with a penchant for that sort of thing to go out and commit atrocities against the human race. Let's eradicate scenes of explosions from books and films as it may inspire a maniac with an affinity for homemade explosives to go out and let one off in a public place.

Once we start going down that road, the next step is wrapping ourselves in cotton wool and never leaving our homes in case we get hit by a car or a stray bullet.

There's an element of risk in everything we do.
Dani
Big-haired Bitch
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Quote by MonsoonMicky
You've missed the point.


No, I haven't.

Yes, stories and films use violent, illegal acts to advance their plots. I've read such stories and I've watched such films.

With that being said, we're an adult community. Our game is erotica. The stories are meant to arouse (in a sexual manner, to be clear).

Certain acts aren't against the rules just because they're illegal. That was the opinion expressed by another member. Certain acts are against the rules because we do not want to arouse anyone in that manner for the sake of the kind of community we strive to be.

Whether or not members who submit stories online are capable of depicting such acts in a manner that would be arousing is a moot point.

░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░


MonsoonMicky
Advanced Wordsmith
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I'd like to just clarify a few things because I get the impression that some people have misinterpreted my intentions on this thread.

First, I'm not questioning Lush's rules regarding story content. The people who own this site make the rules -- their house, their rules -- and I respect those decisions and will always adhere to the rules they have laid down. As I said before, those who prefer their stories a little more risqué, should frequent other sites that cater for that sort of thing.

Second, a member raised a point in a previous post claiming that writing non-consent stories is an arrestable offense. I simply pointed out that this is most certainly not the case. There is no subject matter that can be broached with the written word that would leave you liable to criminal prosecution. There is a big difference between a fictitious story and a real-life event. Adults can differentiate between real-life and fiction, hence the 18+ certificate awarded to certain films.

Last but not least, a member claimed that uploading non-consent stories could have an adverse affect on potential sex offenders and act as a catalyst by feeding potential rapists imaginations and strengthening their warped fantasies. I thought this was a good point and one worth debating, so I followed up on it in an attempt to get a meaningful and insightful conversation going. I do apologise if my expectations were far too high and unrealistic.
Kiera
Short Arse Brit
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Quote by overmykneenow


That's fine, as long as you're not expecting people to treat the scenario you create as erotica.

You can go into high street book shops and buy novels that will have subjects that are rightly banned here. When those subjects are covered, they are almost universally intended to horrify the reader rather than get them off.

This is a site for writers of erotica, the stories are intended to titillate in some measure. Something you might see as something to shock might just be someone's hottest fantasy. Instead of making some kind of social commentary you've just fed a potential 's imagination and strengthened his warped fantasy. Well done.

Writers of erotica want to make their readers squirm but in a good way.


Agreed.

Sorry one such as me does not agree with fantasy reading for such things...it leads to a person progressing to non fantasy.

Should one write about and it be so excused and excepted that one can read such a thing?

I am sure most certainly sure that is reluctant too.
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
MonsoonMicky
Advanced Wordsmith
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My point is, people should just read and write about whatever they want to read and write about and forget the "risks" involved.

It irks me when people say you can't write about sex crimes because it inspires perverts to act out their fantasies, or you can't depict violence in films and computer games because it may inspire lunatics to go out and start shooting people. These people are going to commit crimes regardless as to whether they have seen it on TV or read it in a story.

The world is now full of people trying to eliminate every element of risk from everything we do. It's health and safety gone mad.

I read in the newspaper the other week that a principal of a school had banned a partially-sighted, 10-year-old girl from bringing her white stick to school because it poses a tripping hazard to the other pupils. Now this isn't just an isolated incident -- there are cases like this occurring on a daily basis. Honestly, the world has gone bloody daft!!!

I don't know what it's like in other countries, but here in the UK you can't do anything these days without first accessing the risks, writing them all down, then taking precaution against them. It'll soon get to the point where you can't even scratch your own arse without filling in a risk assessment sheet.

"Oh, you can't scratch your arse with that ring on your finger -- it might snag on your anus and tear you a new arsehole."
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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legality has nothing to do with it - it's fiction. the decision for not allowing non-consent stories was too insure that Lush is a comfortable place for everyone to visit and read. A large number of readers do have issues with consent based stories, and rather than make them feel uncomfortable, we decided to simply not allow them - also, since lush is also a social mecca of a sorts, it's not the kind of atmosphere we wish to inspire.

smile

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

deviantsusie
Dirty Stop-out
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Coming a bit late to the party but the issue of consent is a tricky area... i believe there shouldn't be censorship..
In film, it is no longer called the film censors office, now film classification office.
In literature we have thankfully moved on from the days when you didnt want your servants to be reading such filth as Lady Chatterley's lover.

The issue of legality is tenuous.. lots of stories on lush involve drug taking, prostitution and murder. All as illegal as .

Would i want to read a story? Not on lush, no. Sometimes it is vital to a plot, Irvine Welsh's Maribu Stork Nightmares has a as a central plot point. Would the story be the same without it? No.
However, is this site suffering because we are not allowed to read or write stories? No, i don't think so.

Offering titillation to pedophiles and predators is spurious. We may as well ban every mothercare catalogue.

In short, not having a non-consent/ section on lush is not health and safety gone mad but a mature decision by the owners about what sort of community they want. I believe Literotica has a large section if that is what floats your boat.

smile

Read The Key my latest story and comp entry about a submissive who needs help to be a good girl

2 competition winning stories, 1 Famous story, a smattering of Editor's Picks, a handful of Recommended Reads and one Clitorides award are scattered amongst my stories.

One of a handful of writers to get the Omnium badge for writing in every category

MonsoonMicky
Advanced Wordsmith
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Quote by sprite
legality has nothing to do with it - it's fiction. the decision for not allowing non-consent stories was too insure that Lush is a comfortable place for everyone to visit and read. A large number of readers do have issues with consent based stories, and rather than make them feel uncomfortable, we decided to simply not allow them - also, since lush is also a social mecca of a sorts, it's not the kind of atmosphere we wish to inspire.

smile


Sprite, I understand that and you don't have to jump to the defence of Lush Stories. Nothing I have said on this thread is directed at Lush's rules or Lush's members in any way, shape or form. It's a great community, full of friendly people. I remember when I first joined and you helped me out immensely. You were more than hospitable and made me feel right at home. I would never knock this site, its rules or its members -- that's not what I'm about.

I'm just trying make people understand that writing stories about illegal acts is not illegal in itself. And I don't buy into the general consensus that extreme sex stories and violence on the TV and in books encourages people to go out and commit those acts in real life. There're lots of shitty people in the world, and those people will commit heinous acts of crime regardless as to whether they read about them or see them on TV.

Every site has rules and I respect those rules. I wouldn't want Lush to change for the world. I hope I've made myself clear on that.
MonsoonMicky
Advanced Wordsmith
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Quote by deviantsusie
However, is this site suffering because we are not allowed to read or write stories? No, i don't think so.


In short, not having a non-consent/ section on lush is not health and safety gone mad but a mature decision by the owners about what sort of community they want. I believe Literotica has a large section if that is what floats your boat.


No, that's my point -- we ARE allowed to write stories or any stories we like, for that matter. This is what I'm getting at. Just because Lush doesn't accept certain story content, doesn't mean we can't write about it. It just means we can't upload it to this site, and I fully respect that. People are putting words into my mouth, claiming I've said things that I haven't.

And nobody claimed that this site is suffering because it doesn't accept stories. Show me where it says that on this thread.

And no, stories do not float my boat. If you look at the story I uploaded you'll see that I prefer the tootsies.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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Quote by MonsoonMicky


Sprite, I understand that and you don't have to jump to the defence of Lush Stories. Nothing I have said on this thread is directed at Lush's rules or Lush's members in any way, shape or form. It's a great community, full of friendly people. I remember when I first joined and you helped me out immensely. You were more than hospitable and made me feel right at home. I would never knock this site, its rules or its members -- that's not what I'm about.

I'm just trying make people understand that writing stories about illegal acts is not illegal in itself. And I don't buy into the general consensus that extreme sex stories and violence on the TV and in books encourages people to go out and commit those acts in real life. There're lots of shitty people in the world, and those people will commit heinous acts of crime regardless as to whether they read about them or see them on TV.

Every site has rules and I respect those rules. I wouldn't want Lush to change for the world. I hope I've made myself clear on that.


no worries - i didn't take it as criticism - i was just explaining our stance so that everyone understands - i like tranparency. smile

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Guest
Lurker
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Quote by symes4u
Speaking of the C word I found this a fascinating read. https://medium.com/matter/what-consent-means-to-men-and-why-they-re-still-too-scared-to-talk-about-it-5965eb43f2c4#.b4naxy2wv


Wow that was fascinating.

"Even though most guys felt that the onus of consent falls more heavily on men than it does women, they thought everybody should be talking about it. But the problem: nobody seems to be doing so. Men are scared. So much so that some are simply abstaining from sex entirely “because you never know who might cry the next day,” as a USC frat member once confided. Fear — of arrest, prosecution, and even mere public shaming — is quickly becoming the primary reason to get on board with consent. While fear can be a powerful motivator, it doesn’t start conversations around consent — it ends them."

I'll pass this article on to my authoring groups.
Guest
Lurker
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Quote by Metilda


Wow that was fascinating.

"Even though most guys felt that the onus of consent falls more heavily on men than it does women, they thought everybody should be talking about it. But the problem: nobody seems to be doing so. Men are scared. So much so that some are simply abstaining from sex entirely “because you never know who might cry the next day,” as a USC frat member once confided. Fear — of arrest, prosecution, and even mere public shaming — is quickly becoming the primary reason to get on board with consent. While fear can be a powerful motivator, it doesn’t start conversations around consent — it ends them."

I'll pass this article on to my authoring groups.


It does beg the question; is doing the right thing for the wrong reasons less valuable than doing the right thing for the right reasons? Human behavior and it's many and sundry motivations. Meanwhile Teleological Ethics can take care of themselves.
Guest
Lurker
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Quote by overmykneenow


... Instead of making some kind of social commentary you've just fed a potential 's imagination and strengthened his warped fantasy. Well done.

...


Very late afterthought - but your comment has been on my mind all this time...

Your view turns it into a subject that's ALL ABOUT WHAT RAPISTS WANT.

What about what I want? Don't I have a say in the type of sexually charged material I write as a woman?

You're honestly suggesting that I should avoid something in my life, my career path as an author (keeping in mind I don't just write stroker story erotica), because rapists EXISTS?

I've dealt with some serious sexual abuse in my life and not ONCE have I let it govern what I do and don't do as an adult woman. I've had quite enough of that. When have I ever let rapists govern my life? Isn't that truly what they want - instilling fear and paranoia so they can control you even when they're not around?

Why should THEY have control over my life because of THEIR urges and desires?

I'm not ever going to let someone ELSE decide what I can and cannot do when THEY are the ones who are causing the trouble. Rapists are the problem, not authors writing.

I'm all 100% in support of corporations and communities making decisions about the content they publish and associate with. I always abide by rules. Always. But what you're suggesting, here, goes far beyond that.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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Quote by Metilda


Very late afterthought - but your comment has been on my mind all this time...

Your view turns it into a subject that's ALL ABOUT WHAT RAPISTS WANT.

What about what I want? Don't I have a say in the type of sexually charged material I write as a woman?

You're honestly suggesting that I should avoid something in my life, my career path as an author (keeping in mind I don't just write stroker story erotica), because rapists EXISTS?

I've dealt with some serious sexual abuse in my life and not ONCE have I let it govern what I do and don't do as an adult woman. I've had quite enough of that. When have I ever let rapists govern my life? Isn't that truly what they want - instilling fear and paranoia so they can control you even when they're not around?

Why should THEY have control over my life because of THEIR urges and desires?

I'm not ever going to let someone ELSE decide what I can and cannot do when THEY are the ones who are causing the trouble. Rapists are the problem, not authors writing.

I'm all 100% in support of corporations and communities making decisions about the content they publish and associate with. I always abide by rules. Always. But what you're suggesting, here, goes far beyond that.


aren't you aware that it's always our fault? skirt's too short. too much make up. out too late in a dangerous hood. been drinking. didn't check our drinks to see if someone dropped something in them. writing sexually charged material. our fault. get with the times, woman.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.