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a coffee brick instead of a dick

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My friend a coffee-addict Phil is a nice guy but he often lifts stuff in the local grocery stores. he would just come up to a shelf, pinch a 8.8oz ground coffee brick, slip it into his pants pocket and matter-of-factly goes through the door. Though something is bulging suspiciously around his left pocket area when he goes by the checkout, Phil always gets away with it. Once i dropped by in there to pick out some food and witnessed a following scene- a women in casual dress comes up to Phil and says that her name is Rita and she's the head of security of the supermarket chain: "would you be so kind as to show me what is bulging about your left pocket?" Phil: Ok, but won't you accept it as an abuse? I've recently used my [url=]bathmate[/url] and I have 10 inches in girth now. It looks like a... brick, you know". Rita works up a sweat and apologizes. Later he told me that this is the only working excuse in such cases