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Inappropriate Greeting Cards thread.

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Everyone buys greetings cards: Happy Birthday, Get Well Soon or Sorry You're Leaving. But what about the niche, lesser known and celebrated occasions and reasons for sending a card?

I'd like to see what some of the most inappropriate and "out of left field" cards we can come up with.

Such as: Congratulations on having your Murder charge reduced to Manslaughter!
heidi
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Season's Greetings and have Marie's Crisp Ass smile
laura
Mana wahine
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Thank you; for letting me fuck your sister!
heidi
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I hope You Feel Better
{ When I am donesmile
lynnwitt
Quantum Tease
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Congratulations on Receiving An IRS Audit!
.................................
Get (a) well soon - and get off the city water supply!
heidi
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THANK YOU for your last payment ( a year ago)

good night, the hydro service
lynnwitt
Quantum Tease
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Congratulations on your 85th birthday
-- EasyRest Funeral Home
heidi
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Lynn peed here smile
Twoandabit
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Happy Roasting, from Ray and Max
Guest
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I am happy to see you leaving... I feel sorry for your future coworkers
heidi
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Sorry the train missed
Twoandabit
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Congratulations, on your first gang bang