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Relationship status and flirting

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patokl
Active Ink Slinger
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In one of the threads in the entertainment section of the forum, the question came up, why people would still come on to someone whose relationship status was "taken" or similar. The consensus was, that the meaning of that status is at best ambiguous. What one sees as "I have someone, so buzz off" is merely a reference to his real life, without consequences for behaviour on lush for somebody else

Maybe this could be resolved by adding an extra status field, stating if someone is open to flirting (and more). Statuses could vary from "Yes please" via "a little firt is okay, but don't expect more" to "don't e en think about it". It could also say "only if you're a girl" or similar, so people who only glance at profiles without reading the longer texts, may notice those preferences a bit easier too.
A little kindness can be so valuable, yet costs almost nothing

In many countries being gay is a crime, and even in modern societies, politicians try to legalise discrimination. Your voice can make a difference. Have a look at All Out to find out how.

Hey... pssst.... that's an l (as in luscious) at the end of my name, not an i
simplyjohn
Site administrator
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That sounds terribly complicated to me. Every member has their biography which for me is where they would express such things.

However what I really wanted to say is that you maybe better off posting that here for obvious reasons:

https://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst12279_Which-improvements-or-features-would-you-like-to-see-added.aspx

My status says single and my biography says I am up for just about anything .. I will even pay .. its had no effect in close to 5 years.
LaylaJune
Fancy Schmancy
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Nothing anyone says in his or her profile is going to have an effect on SOME people. Try as anyone might, Lush, insofar as it is a social networking site, is a place where you have to have a thick skin. Without that thick skin and the attitude that this is a big game, certain forums, and methods of interaction here, are a formula for massive hurt, as we all see over and over again. The bottom line is that we should treat each other with kindness and respect. We should not aim to hurt others here, despite the fact that there are many who find it fun (as is the case in real life, sadly). We should have a sense of humor over our interactions, and we should remind ourselves that Lush is not real life.
Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
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Quote by LaylaJune
Nothing anyone says in his or her profile is going to have an effect on SOME people. Try as anyone might, Lush, insofar as it is a social networking site, is a place where you have to have a thick skin. Without that thick skin and the attitude that this is a big game, certain forums, and methods of interaction here, are a formula for massive hurt, as we all see over and over again. The bottom line is that we should treat each other with kindness and respect. We should not aim to hurt others here, despite the fact that there are many who find it fun (as is the case in real life, sadly). We should have a sense of humor over our interactions, and we should remind ourselves that Lush is not real life.



So well put. A central dilemma at Lush is that yes, it is essential to have thick skin or you may well end up crushed (and many have been) (probably everyone to some degree), but so many personal and private desires and loves and longings and needs are put on naked display, in your profile or your writing or your relationships, that you have no choice but to put a part of your real self out there. And sometimes you get stepped on. Sometimes unknowingly. There is a bravery to being honest in an environment that can sometimes punish honesty.

And this is why LaylaJ is so perfectly correct in what she said. Be kind, be honest, be transparent. Real life is a tough place, Lush can be tougher. We can choose to hurt, or we can choose to heal. It's important to try to do the right thing, even if you don't always succeed.

EDIT: I wandered a bit off topic, huh? So, two things about the OP's question: respect what it says in a profile or a relationship status. And (more practically), relationship status should be an open field, where you can write whatever you want. I'd write a novel in there.
JC72
Active Ink Slinger
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It seems that we all get our heart broken in here, just be 100% sure before you make changes in status...
poppyx
Kiss My Wiggleass Baby
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Quote by simplyjohn
That sounds terribly complicated to me. Every member has their biography which for me is where they would express such things.

However what I really wanted to say is that you maybe better off posting that here for obvious reasons:

https://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst12279_Which-improvements-or-features-would-you-like-to-see-added.aspx

My status says single and my biography says I am up for just about anything .. I will even pay .. its had no effect in close to 5 years.



I won't take yer money but if you will wear this lil suit just for me I think we will have a deal, hell i'll even buy you scampi and chips from down the pub if you look perty in it and make a clip clopping sound




Happiness will never come to those who don’t appreciate what they already have
Guest
Lurker
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Quote by LaylaJune
Nothing anyone says in his or her profile is going to have an effect on SOME people. Try as anyone might, Lush, insofar as it is a social networking site, is a place where you have to have a thick skin. Without that thick skin and the attitude that this is a big game, certain forums, and methods of interaction here, are a formula for massive hurt, as we all see over and over again. The bottom line is that we should treat each other with kindness and respect. We should not aim to hurt others here, despite the fact that there are many who find it fun (as is the case in real life, sadly). We should have a sense of humor over our interactions, and we should remind ourselves that Lush is not real life.



You said it perfectly!!!!
simplyjohn
Site administrator
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Quote by poppyx



I won't take yer money but if you will wear this lil suit just for me I think we will have a deal, hell i'll even buy you scampi and chips from down the pub if you look perty in it and make a clip clopping sound






you perv!! NO way lol .. wait .. I do like scampi and chips yummy.
poppyx
Kiss My Wiggleass Baby
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Well I've been here waiting for you and it's getting cold...........................the scampi and chips I mean!


Happiness will never come to those who don’t appreciate what they already have
simplyjohn
Site administrator
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Quote by poppyx
Well I've been here waiting for you and it's getting cold...........................the scampi and chips I mean!




You cheapskate! ... that dump hasnt even got proper chairs .. cant you take me somewhere more up market than that!

Beffer
Rainbow Warrior
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For nearly 2 years, my profile has stated that I'm single (which only means I'm not legally married or in a monogamous relationship), but guys here have rarely taken that as an open invitation to flirt. I seldom have trouble with overly solicitous men online, and it always makes me wonder what other women are experiencing here when they say guys are descending upon them constantly. It happens to me in real life much more than it does online, so maybe guys actually read through my whole blurb, and not just my relationship status.
Simplicity
Just me
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Quote by JC72
It seems that we all get our heart broken in here, just be 100% sure before you make changes in status...


Perfect advice. Why I usually dont change mine. I leave it either separated or complicated. Meaning in RL . Because most people arent as lucky as LJ & Verbal or JF & Sugar Baby or Buz and His wife, and find perfect happiness on lush that last. Because some can't stand to see others happy.

As to adding more to the status bar, I think Gav as put just about everything there, except maybe "Im a big flirt" or "Just here to flirt".

Just my 2cents worth.

BTW LJ and Verbal, congrats!!! I just seen yall made it official!!! hhahahah status quote!!!
Click below to see

LaylaJune
Fancy Schmancy
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Quote by Simplicity


Perfect advice. Why I usually dont change mine. I leave it either separated or complicated. Meaning in RL . Because most people arent as lucky as LJ & Verbal or JF & Sugar Baby or Buz and His wife, and find perfect happiness on lush that last. Because some can't stand to see others happy.

As to adding more to the status bar, I think Gav as put just about everything there, except maybe "Im a big flirt" or "Just here to flirt".

Just my 2cents worth.




Thank you so much, my dear friend!
Simplicity
Just me
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Quote by LaylaJune




Thank you so much, my dear friend!


Your so welcome, I am so happy for both of you. My dear friends
Click below to see

Guest
Lurker
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Quote by LaylaJune
Nothing anyone says in his or her profile is going to have an effect on SOME people. Try as anyone might, Lush, insofar as it is a social networking site, is a place where you have to have a thick skin. Without that thick skin and the attitude that this is a big game, certain forums, and methods of interaction here, are a formula for massive hurt, as we all see over and over again. The bottom line is that we should treat each other with kindness and respect. We should not aim to hurt others here, despite the fact that there are many who find it fun (as is the case in real life, sadly). We should have a sense of humor over our interactions, and we should remind ourselves that Lush is not real life.



Well said Layla, respect is crucial in all interactions with other people, on Lush or in real life.

I don't think an extra field is necessary, but it helps if you make it clear in your profile how 'serious' your relationship is. Mild flirtation is one thing, but trying to break up a relationship is hurtful and unnecessary, there are plenty of other fish in the sea, so I say respect those who have committed themselves to another and move on.

Congratulations to you and Verbal by the way, I rejoice for you both.
poppyx
Kiss My Wiggleass Baby
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Quote by simplyjohn


You cheapskate! ... that dump hasnt even got proper chairs .. cant you take me somewhere more up market than that!



Oh there's gratitude for ya, hell I bought you a stonking scampi and chips too and now you want me to take you up the market, wth, I was gonna treat you to dessert too


Happiness will never come to those who don’t appreciate what they already have
vjlegbabe
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by DoubleDs


You said it perfectly!!!!


I second that thought!
Magical_felix
Wild at Heart
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I only flirt with people who have their status as taken, married or in a relationship for two reasons.

1. Don't need yet another person falling in love with me and my doggystyle.

2. I think, eww, you're probably single because nobody wants your ass.
Guest
Lurker
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I have my status as being in a relationship with myself. So, I am very secure in my identity! Sure I am a very happily married woman, but by all means flirt with me! I will flirt with you too. Lush is a place where I can have some fun with like minded women and men. I will always be in charge of my postings and everything I do and share on Lush. There are enough bad people out there in daily life that if I run into any here I just unfriend them or block them or ignore them. I'm not here to find a soul mate, just have some fun and make some new friends.
Dancewithme
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by BethanyFrasier
For nearly 2 years, my profile has stated that I'm single (which only means I'm not legally married or in a monogamous relationship), but guys here have rarely taken that as an open invitation to flirt. I seldom have trouble with overly solicitous men online, and it always makes me wonder what other women are experiencing here when they say guys are descending upon them constantly. It happens to me in real life much more than it does online, so maybe guys actually read through my whole blurb, and not just my relationship status.


Bethany love, I really wonder about that claim myself----with all due respect to those who make such claims. I am sure some women get some attention that is unwanted. But I really wonder how much is truly happening. Is there some sensible way to figure this out?
I know that if I didn't love you to bits already......smile
Ardentmale
Chat Moderator
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For the years that I have spent here, I dont think my relationship status on my profile has had any effect on the people who have, or have not spoken to me... Just as in life, we talk to strangers from time to time, share bits of our lives with them and even perhaps flirt... It doesnt mean your going to jump into bed with them... I think everyone enjoys being flirted with... Lets you feel desired, wanted and attractive... The only time I see it as a problem is when they continue after you tell them to stop... Respect their boundaries... I think 90% of the people are here for the same reason... We enjoy reading about, talking about, seeing and having sex! This is that wonderful, safe enviroment that we can allow that to happen... smile
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Intensely devoted, eager, or enthusiastic; zealous

vehement; fierce burning, fiery, or hot
LaylaJune
Fancy Schmancy
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Quote by KnightOfLove


Well said Layla, respect is crucial in all interactions with other people, on Lush or in real life.

I don't think an extra field is necessary, but it helps if you make it clear in your profile how 'serious' your relationship is. Mild flirtation is one thing, but trying to break up a relationship is hurtful and unnecessary, there are plenty of other fish in the sea, so I say respect those who have committed themselves to another and move on.

Congratulations to you and Verbal by the way, I rejoice for you both.



Thank you, Will. It has been a lovely experience. Lovelier still, as it continues.