I don't know if this has been done, but for fun just post any ideas for a movie or a TV show you might have.
TV Show Name: Living Soul
Premise: All living thing on this planet gather periodically at The Court of Life, a place where evolution, extinctions and discussions about the future of the planet are held.
The court is over seen by the Force of Life: Evolution, Extinction, Natural, Sexual and Artificial Selection, who take the form of the current ruling species.
In the whole of its history only one specie has been kicked out: Homo Sapiens for various crimes, and it is the job of a chosen hero to redeem humanity, before all of the living world, before "It" happens
My idea is an improvement, at least to my mind, of the TV show Survivor. The title in this context is taken literally and the concept is very simple. You get your contestants, drop them in Siberia and whoever survives, wins. There are no challenges, and there is no tribal council, you just have to survive the harsh cold with little supplies, same as you would on the island or location they drop you in the original survivor.
Dunwich Horrors
Horror anthology series, loosely linked by recurring characters such as a university professor who researches magic and the paranormal, taking place in the fictitious locations created by H. P. Lovecraft (Arkham, Innsmouth, Dunwich, all in Massachusetts or thereabouts). Some eps would be actual adaptations of Lovecraft (redone for modern sensibilities by removing his racism and sexism), others might be originals crafted by his modern successors (e.g. Caitlin Kiernan, Ramsey Campbell, Stephen King if he can be convinced) or adaptations of their stories. Overall metaplot about the return of the Great Old Ones climaxes at the end of each season.
Fifth Business
Multi-season dramedy based on The Deptford Trilogy by Robertson Davies. Revolves around events that spiral out from the day Percy Staunton hits the minister's wife with a snowball containing a chunk of rock, causing her to lose her mind and give birth prematurely. Focal character for season 1, as in the book, is Dunstan Ramsay, who witnesses the event and later becomes involved with investigating Percy's mysterious suicide (or was it murder) and the mysterious magician Magnus Eisengrim. Later seasons move into the later books, bringing David Staunton, Percy's son, and Magnus to the fore.
Lush Life TV
Anthology series adapted from Lush Editor's Picks and comp winners. Obviously would have to be on a premium cable channel because there's no way you're going to edit this one down below an R rating.
How i met your mother (lesbian/ kink/ funny version):
Robin & lily are portrayed bisexuals & their hubbies/ bfs are ok with it.
Ted has a pantyhose & foot fetish.
The "mother" does not die.
The series ends with Ted massaging his wife's feet.
Phaqe News
News that's fake and doesn't pretend to be real. It starts out with an announcer saying..."This is Phaqe News with Sherry Newsreader...Sherry is at her news desk. With every *** she turns from one camera to the next.
(Sherry) "Good evening. Our top stories; Unemployment is up, stock markets are down, crime is up and the housing market is about to collapse. So what does all this mean? If you think you know the answer, give us a call, because none of us at the station have a clue." *** "Do you hate your job? If your answer was yes, then you're not alone. I hate my job too." *** (with a stern look on her face) "Remember Frank Bowan, the man who shot his wife in the head six times, chopped up her body and set it on fire, who then had the gall to claim it was suicide?" (then her face brightens) "Well it worked, today he was acquitted of all charges." *** "Yesterday, we reported a young attractive high school teacher was having sex with one of her equally attractive students. Well it seems we were wrong on that. Both the teacher and her student are quite ugly." *** "Fallout continues in the shooting death of an African American man by the local police department. The police chief addressed the press about their concerns of racism in the department and why the man had been shot 153 times. He defended his departments' record and reminded the press that one of the officers at the scene happened to be African American and that they, quote, "only shot that officer ten times", end quote." *** "Authorities are not sure when it happened or where it happened, mainly because they're not sure what happened. And because they are not sure what happened, they can't even be sure why it happened. The authorities are confident however, once they do find out when and where it happened, they'll know what happened. They cautioned however, even if they do find out what happened, they may never know why it happened."
"A local restaurant is under investigation after one of its' employees claimed that one of the items on the menu, 'Leftover Soup', was nothing more than warmed up toilet water and whatever was floating in it at the time. The restaurant removed the item from its' menu but that did little to comfort many long time customers who expressed both shock and disappointment, since 'Leftover Soup' was the only item on the menu that didn't taste like sh#t." *** "Could there be a cancer cure around the corner? Just asking." *** "An explosion at a local factory left the building destroyed and the community in shock. The good news is that no one was killed and there were no reports of injuries, unless you consider a man shouting at the top of his lungs, "I can't find my f#ckin' arm!", a report."
"Tragedy at a town hall meeting today on gun violence. The trouble started when a gun control advocate stated that there needed to be stronger laws in place to restrict the number of guns in this country. A gun rights advocate countered by stating, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people."...Then backed up his statement by whipping out his finger and shooting the gun control advocate dead." *** "A recent study seems to suggest that an earlier study wasn't done as recently as the recent study. Critics of the study say that the company that conducted the study, 'Study Research', has been conducting the study for years and keeps coming to the same conclusion, requiring further studies. When contacted, a company spokesman denied that his company was doing this, but added, just to be on the safe side, someone should hire his company to do a study on it." *** "A recent poll on teenage girls and pregnancy found that 60% would carry the baby to full term, 23% would have an abortion and an alarming 17% would get pregnant just so they could have an abortion. Alarming because I thought for sure that number would be higher."
A cooking show called Louis and Sarah Can't Cook starring Louis CK and Sarah Silverman (or any two other comics), where they meet with top chefs from around the world who attempt to show them how to prepare their signature dishes. Then the two of them have to recreate the dishes, with much comic banter and trash-talking between them, while they make a huge mess and burn the shit out of everything. At the end of the show, the chef, and the two stars are judged by a panel of critics and scored on the quality of their dishes including more trash-talking.
In the first episode of the season, the two comics are introduced and make their best dish for the judges. At the end of the season (8 or so episodes later), they face off head to head making their best dishes again (with copious flash-backs to earlier episodes) to show what they have learned (if anything). Next season features two new comics so that the dynamics don't get too stale.
Post-avant-retro-demelodicized-electro-yodel-core is my jam.
Naked and Afraid, but this is not a survival show. They just go into those haunted houses that pop up around Halloween.
Enterpuss...A very adult and comedy version of Star Trek...Cast of characters: Captain Kink, First Officer Mr. Scock, Dr. DcCoy AKA Stones, Communications Officer Ooh Ooh Ra, Chief Engineer Miss Hott AKA Hottie, Mr. Screwloo and Mr. Jackoff
"Space, the final frontier...These are the voyages of the Star Ship Enterpuss...Its' continuing mission...To explore strange new worlds... To seek out (well you know the rest)
"Captain's log, star date 6969. With The Enterpuss undergoing repairs, Dr. DcCoy and I had some time to catch up on old times. The conversation was light until the subject of my new first officer came up."
(DcCoy) "I don't know Jim. There's something about Mr. Scock that makes me believe you should consider someone else for first officer." (Kink) "What exactly do you mean?" (Before DcCoy can answer, Scock enters) (Scock)"Captain, engineering has completed repairs. The Enterpuss is set to go on your command." (Kink) "Thank you Mr. Scock. I'll be on the bridge shortly." (Scock while giving the Vulcan piece sign) "Live long and prosper." (He then turns and exits)
(Kink)"He seems fine to me Stones." (DcCoy) "It's a good thing you're not a doctor." (Kink)"What's that supposed to mean?" (DcCoy) "As ships' physician, I'm responsible for performing complete physical examinations on every man, woman and alien on board The Enterpuss." (Kink)"Your point, Stones?" (DcCoy)"My point is I just gave Mr. Scock his. He just flipped you the Vulcan equivalent of the finger."
(Kink)"You're saying Scock has two of them?" (DcCoy after nodding his head)"I tell you Jim, I've never seen anything like it. He can make them move independently of each other in any direction and at multiple speeds. It wouldn't surprise me if he could tie his shoes with them." (Kink)"Come on. Tie his shoes?" (DcCoy)"It's true. Nurse Fapple was so frightened by them that she locked herself in the bathroom and wouldn't come out. I could actually hear her moaning in fear. She was in there so long, I had to get Hottie to beam her out. By the way, you need to have someone look at the transporter. When it beamed her out, her clothes were rearranged, like someone had been trying to rip them off and it didn't even beam her panties with her. It just left them on the bathroom floor."
(Kink)"I'll have Hottie look into it." (Just then we hear Ooh Ooh Ra on the transmitter)"Ooh Ooh Ra to Captain Kink." (Kink)"Kink here. Go ahead Ooh Ooh Ra." (Ooh Ooh Ra)"Captain, there's an urgent message from Starfleet. Captain's eyes only." (Kink)"Thank you Ooh Ooh Ra. Patch it through to my quarters."
(DcCoy)"I guess this is where I make my exit." (Kink)"Duty calls Stones." (After DcCoy leaves, Kink takes the message as we see an older man on the viewing screen) (Kink)"Admiral Hollings! To what do I owe this pleasure?" (Hollings)"No need for formalities, Jim. Captain's eyes only, remember?" (Kink)"I appreciate that. So what can I do for you?" (Hollings)"I hate to do this to you, but Starfleet has a new assignment for you." (Kink)"No problems, The Enterpuss is glad to be of service." (Hollings)"That's good to hear. We need you to plot a course for Tallis Five. There you will pick up two passengers, one of whom you're quite familiar with...Captain Pike." (Kink)"You mean...?" (Hollings)"That's right, the former Captain of The Enterpuss."
(Kink)"And who's the other passenger?" (Hollings)"I'm not at liberty to say. Captain Pike will fill you in about that. Now once you pick them up, you will turn command of the ship back to Pike, is that understood?" (Kink)"Understood." (Hollings)"Good. There is something I feel I must warn you about...Pike has had extensive surgery." (Kink)"Extensive surgery? Was there some kind of accident?" (Hollings) "Once again, I'm not at liberty to say. I wish I could tell you more." (Kink)"That's quite alright. I understand." (Hollings)"I just wanted you to be prepared...The Captain Pike you and I both knew no longer exists." (Kink)"Well, thanks for the heads up."
(Hollings)"You have your mission. Good luck Jim...This message will self destruct in five seconds." (The scene switches to outside of Kink's quarters as we hear a loud explosion followed by the doors opening and smoke pouring out as Kink appears with his uniform and face covered in dirt before he staggers and falls to the floor as several crew members rush over. One squats down by Kink's side and asks..."Captain, are you alright?"...Kink lifts his head up and whispers something to the crewman before he falls unconscious..."What did he say?", another crewman asks...The other crewman has a confused look on his face as he answers..."He said he really wishes Admiral Hollings would learn the difference between five seconds and one second.")...to be continued.
Law and Order....SVU......I love all the actors but Finn is my favourite....he is so funny....
Dirtier Harry...A Dirty Harry remake with a more extreme version of him.
(Scene opens with Harry in bed with a young woman obviously having just had intimate relations)(Harry) "Well?" (Woman) "Well what?" (Harry)"Ready to go another round?" (Woman)"Again? Aren't you tired yet?" (Harry)" I know what you're thinking. He just blew several loads and there's no way he could possibly have anything left. To be perfectly honest, in all the excitement, I lost track myself, but considering this (he looks down at his penis) is a 44 Callahan Special, the most powerful wally whopper known to mankind and could blow your head clean off, you have to ask yourself...'Do I feel lucky?'...Well, do you punk?"
(Woman)"Who do you think you are, talking to me like that?" (Harry)"It's not who I think I am, it's who I know I am, Inspector Harry Callahan, the toughest, the roughest, the meanest and yes, the dirtiest, in a good way, cop in the free world." (Harry lays back and closes his eyes for several seconds before opening them again, looking at the woman) (Harry)"Well?" (Woman)"Well what?" (Harry)"What are you waiting for?" (Then after looking at his penis) "Go ahead, make my day." (Woman)"Make your own day, I'm leaving!" (She gets up, grabs her clothes and without dressing, storms out the front door)(Harry)"Wait! I was only joking!" (He puts on his pants as quickly as he can and runs out the front door)(Harry)"Stop! Come back!" (Then he runs back in his apartment, grabs his 44 and runs back out)(Harry)"Halt! Freeze!" (He aims his gun, but before he can fire, she disappears around the corner. Harry returns to his apartment and angrily paces back and forth before picking up his phone to place a call)
(Harry)"Yeah, this is Inspector Callahan. Let me speak to the captain." (He paces back and forth as he waits) (Harry)"Yeah Captain, do you have any new or unsolved homicide cases that need to be looked into?...How about any armed robberies or sexual assaults?...Burglaries?...How about petty crimes? I'll take anything, even jay walking...What's that?...Yeah, yeah, I know it's my day off, but right now, I really, really need to shoot someone...So you don't have anything?...You do have something? What is it?...Come to the office? Can't you tell me over the phone?...Okay then, I'll be there in 15. This better be good."
(Scene switches to the Captain's office as his receptionist comes to the door and announces that Callahan had arrived)(Captain)"Send him in." (Callahan after walking in)"Okay Captain, what have you got for me?" (Captain)"Sit down Callahan." (Harry takes a seat and waits patiently as the captain gathers his thoughts)(Captain)"There's no easy way for me to say this...You're being transferred." (Harry)"Transferred? Why? I get things done, don't I?" (Captain)"It's the way you get things done Callahan. Let's just say it doesn't fit with how we prefer the department to be run." (Harry)"In what way?"
(Captain)"Remember that armed bank robbery we had last year? The one involving the yellow truck?" (Harry)"Of course I do. I pulled the driver over, ordered him out of his vehicle, shot him in the leg and stomped on him until he confessed." (Captain)"Yes. yes you did. Did you notice the vehicle wasn't even a truck?" (Harry)"Well Captain, in my defense, the driver did match the description of the suspect and his vehicle was yellow." (Captain)"Yeah. School bus yellow." (Harry)"Well how was I supposed to know?" (Captain)"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because there were children on board...and 'school bus' was written on it!"
(Harry)"That driver should have told me he was a school bus driver." (Captain)"According to him and several eyewitnesses, he did!" (Harry)"Well how was I supposed to hear him with a bus load of screaming children?" (Captain)"Which they were doing because of what you were doing to that poor bus driver!" (Harry)"Okay, I'll grant you that one. But transferring me over one mistake..." (Captain) "It's not just one mistake Callahan. Remember that serial case we were working on 6 months ago?" (Harry)"What about it?" (Captain)"You killed him." (Harry)"And there's a problem with that?" (Captain)"You killed him with a missile launcher. You wiped out the whole top floor of an office building!" (Harry)"I had to. I didn't know which office he was in." (Captain)"You're lucky no one else was on that floor. It's too bad I can't say the same thing about the passenger jet you shot down when you missed with the first shot. You wouldn't believe the red tape I had to go through to make that one disappear."
(Harry)"Yeah, that missile launcher had more kick than I expected." (Captain)"More kick? Why would you even have such a weapon?" (Harry with gritted teeth and squinty eyes) "Why wouldn't I?" (Captain)"Why wouldn't...? Callahan, I don't even know what to say. Look, it's not just about the way you do things. No one here wants to work with you." (Harry)"What are you talking about? I've had plenty of partners." (Captain)"Which is exactly why no one wants to work with you." (Harry)" I admit I've had some bad luck with partners..." (Captain)"Bad luck? Is that what you call it? Let's just talk about some of your bad luck."
(Captain)"You shot Detective Gump in the buttocks." (Harry)"He had it coming. He was sitting down on the job too much." (Captain)"You shot Lieutenant Taylor..." (Harry)"Who?" (Captain)"Dan Taylor." (Harry)"Oh yeah, Lieutenant Dan." (Captain)"You shot both his legs off with your 44." (Harry)"He had it coming. He wasn't sitting down on the job enough." (Captain)"You shot Detective Bubba in the face." (Harry)"He had it coming. I didn't like the way he looked." (Captain)"Then you shot him again in the hospital." (Harry)"Oh, wait a minute. That's right, I shot him in the face because he owed me money. Then I shot him in the hospital because I didn't like the way he looked after I shot him. Either way, he had it coming."
(Captain)"How about Detective Bannon? What did you shoot him for?" (Harry)"I don't recall any Detective Bannon." (Captain)"That's probably because you shot him on his first day." (Harry)"Believe me Captain, when I shoot someone, there's good reason." (Captain)"What reason could there possibly be? You shot him as soon as you two were out the front door." (Harry)"What did you say his name was?" (Captain)"Bannon." (Harry)"I meant his first name." (Captain)"Bruce." (Harry)"Oh yeah, Bruce Bannon. I knew there was a good reason for shooting him." (Captain)"Which was...?" (Harry)'I don't like the name, Bruce." (Captain)"You shot him because you didn't like his name?" (Harry)"Can you think of a better reason?" (Captain after staring at Harry for a few seconds)"That should be an easy question to answer, but for some reason I can't. Can't you can see why no one wants to work with you?"
(Harry)"What about Detective O'Malley. I haven't seen him in a while." (Captain)"That's because you shot him in the head five years ago." (Harry)"Five years ago? Then he should be recovered by now." (Captain)"You shot him with your 44. You blew his head completely off. People don't recover from injuries like that." (Harry)"Well maybe not right away, but we're talking five years here." (Captain)"People don't recover ever from injuries like that! Look, it's out of my hands. The transfer has been approved and that's that." (Harry)"So when does it take effect?" (Captain)"There's no time like the present." (Harry)"You mean now, like at this very moment?" (Captain nods his head) (Harry)"Can I at least say goodbye to the others?" (Captain)"Do you have your weapon with you?" (Harry)"Of course, I'm always packing." (Captain)"In that case, no. We're already shorthanded enough around here as it is."
A Boudicca film would be great but please let it not be "Braveheart with a vagina". Boudicca deserves better.
Not my own original idea, but still brilliant nonetheless. Instead of MasterChef, how about MasterMeth, a competition based on meth cooks, obviously.
