Reboot a sex life

0 likes 7 Aug 2016

Hollywood is fond of trying to milk more money out of failing properties by "rebooting" them. With Star Trek, they changed the timeline. With Terminator, they simply started over with Genesys. And so on.

I'm thinking my love life needs a reboot. 23 years married and we haven't been intimate in probably a year. So, with my franchise failing, perhaps it's time for a remake or reimagining.

Part of it is me. I'm tiring earlier in the evening than ever before (always been an "early to bed, early to rise" type) and bedtime has usually been our preferred time to get it on.

Part of it is where we are at being parents. Our son is around a lot during the day, so even when we are home together, we can't easily get an afternoon fun session going like we used to (that may change in a couple years since he's close to high school graduation).

Part of it is general health and fitness. Things ache and creak that didn't used to and I'm not sure, for instance, that my back will withstand giving her a hard pounding or anything. And I know that she's been through some physical changes that will affect it as well (we're middle-aged).

Part of it is me again. I'm just not that into her sexually anymore. I can look at her naked and not get even a stir (sometimes I do). Sex wasn't exactly that wild and wonderful in the past few times we've done it so my interest has kind of flagged. And, yes, I have satisfied my needs elsewhere (escorts, not an actual affair) but I think I've finally put that behind me.

I don't think I can suddenly just start asking for sex again, can I? Need to get a bit of romance and erotic attraction back first? Maybe start a bit of seduction and let it snowball? Try to roll back the clock to being a dating couple rather than a long married one? What say you folks?

Guest

Lurker

0 likes 16 Aug 2016

I'd start with just simple things like exchanging a massage or taking a bath or bathing the other one. Brush her hair and massage her feet and or temples.

Make nice dinners or snacks for each other. Give kisses and then give one deep kiss. Just show that you appreciate each other.

Caress her body without expecting sex. Work it up slowly to oral maybe. Tell her that you love her.

Take showers together. Start slowly and then increase everything bit by bit.

Give her thoughtful little gifts or read her a poem or something that shows you're thinking of her.

Set aside some time just for you two every week or every day.

Myamibi

Active Ink Slinger

0 likes 16 Aug 2016

I would discuss it with her, but in a flirty way. You're moving into a new stage and you don't want the intimacy to end. Stress there's no pressure, but find out how she sees the future. It might be fun. I've had a renewed sex life in the last few years. I think women sometimes see it as over. Also do the suggestions MPL made too. We love attention, but no pressure. Good luck. We all need to be loved.

rwinston

Active Ink Slinger

0 likes 6 Sep 2016

My sex life isn't over but once a week or so we do the same old thing. I do still enjoy it but I have a burning desire for so much more. I have tried to discuss it or suggest things but she is just not all that interested. One of the reasons I'm here of course. Apparently you can only have sex at my house after 9:00p.m. is we aren't tired, in the bed, with the lights out and the door locked.