I want to get this from strangers perspective, It is a little complicated, just don't know what to think, even though I only found out about it this year. It goes like this or 28 years of my life even though I am 29 now. But yeah 28 years I thought i was an Only child. Never dreamed, thought I would have an older brother. I never knew about at all. I know my mom's reasoning was her own. I probably would have never found out. If some family members, from my mom's side. I am sure you have those types ones that start shit etc. I think my mom only told me because she didn't want them telling me first. She told me that she had him when she was 19 but gave him up for adoption, she told me it was her decision. I wanted to ask more but i couldn't find the words to say or ask. Am I wrong for not pushing it and asking more, I do want to but don't want to hurt her or anything like that. Only thing i remember asking was his name. she didn't say anything. I doubt my older brother who was put up for adoption. don't know about me, I really said something stupid when i was 6 years old I told my mom i wish had a younger brother or sister. Now I regret saying that Not knowing I had one the whole time. Only thing i said no matter what her reasoning was she's still my mom. But it is bugging me to know more about him. But just afaird to ask. What would you do in my shoes??
please email me on here I think I have advice for you to use thanks
Hi Bliss, I'm going to send you an email as I can relate in a somewhat similar way, might take me a bit. Hang in there, keep processing those feelings, they're totally valid.
if you're too afraid to talk to your mum about it, write to her. Tell her exactly how you feel and ask her what you need to know. That gives both of you time to think before saying what it is you want to say. Write it and leave it somewhere only she will find it. Under her pillow or in one of her drawers.
I hope you find the answers you're looking for. xxxooo
My guess is that your mum is expecting questions now that the cat is out of the bag.
I'd suggest asking her first off if it's okay to talk about it - because obviously you want to know more. If she's not quite ready, tell her you'll give her some time, but that you do want to talk about it.
It may be hard for you - but think about how painful it must have been for her to hand her baby over - and if at all possible try not to judge her (difficult, I know).
Whichever way you go - good luck, I hope you get the answers you seek.
Ken
Listen to Trinket. She is very wise.
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I only met my father 3 times during my life. Once when I was four - the day he left and then I got curious when I had kids of my own so I traced him - after not seeing or having any contact with him for 40 years. We arranged a meeting and when we did I met my other siblings from his second marriage. I took my then family to meet them all. I do not regret this and my mother accepted this as a perfectly natural thing to do despite it being of some discomfort to her and the other members of her family. It wasn't an accusation of both of my parents neglect - my father's for showing no interest in me and hers for not encouraging communication but just a very strong curiosity about it all. These were their actions and I was not judgemental but the bottom line is they would have had the responsibility for this and the onus was not on me just as your situation was not created by you. If your mother has any strength of character I'm sure she will understand without any surreptitious notes under pillows but a frank open discussion face to face.
There's no right or wrongs to these things, you gotta go with your heart. I'd ask questions but it's not always easy. Good luck ❤️
It is a great idea and I would add that you will probably be acknowledged better by your mother if you use a supportive tone. Giving up a baby is very stressful but many times is the best choice for the baby "at the time of birth ".