I think this comes down to meeting the sexual preference to complement one's own.
ie. dom vs sub
I think that two subs who might hit it off socially would find the sex life lacking - as would two doms.
But if the sub/dom proportion is about right, the sexual compatibility is going to be there.
i think it's basically this but if you disagree, then why and what do you think makes for the right formula?
{allba115-feed-5eed-facedeadbeef}
I'm not really into Domme/sub sex. I prefer sex with equals. Most of my partners are less experienced and less confident than I am, so I tend to lead, but actual subs are too much work. My partner has to carry her or his end of the relationship. And Doms/Dommes actually turn me off.
I think I largely agree with Bethany here. Not really looking for dom or sub in my relationships, but someone I can share with on a more or less equal plane.
For me, the most important aspect to sexual satisfaction is feeling connected to the person I am with. Doesn't have be a love for all time, but at least feel like there's more to what we are doing than rubbing body parts together. Even when I was seeing escorts and literally paying for sex, my favorite was one with whom I shared interests that we could discuss during down times in our meetings. Some other were great physically but the aftermath was kind of a letdown because we didn't click outside that very visceral level.
Even with my spouse, the best encounters have been the ones that ended with naked cuddles rather than the ones that were physically mind-blowing.
Basically Bethany and me are on the same wavelength.
We are a group of 3x3 FWB. None of us adopts a Sub or Dom role deliberately but there are times we know what our partner enjoys and we can be providing them with a pleasure that he/she enjoys when relaxed and allowing the partner to control the action.
If being on top is dom - then I am dominant often. If I am beneath him/her then I am enjoying the pleasure of our engagement as well as they are and will always endeavor to ensure we both achieve the desired reason for our intercourse. Whether it is oral or vaginal it is still equal. If he/she asks for a partnership then its equal just because we are doing it to please our partner does not mean we are being subservient - obliging perhaps.
I think I am a Dom and a Sub too and I feel pleasure from switching over from one to the other side. But when it comes to girl-on-girl relation, I've enjoyed more being a Sub. However, what I've found about this is the general recognition that I'm willingly forfeiting my power to the Dom, but to me being a Sub means playing within my comfort zone and feeling of connection with my partner...
I like the way you make me feel even when I'm nowhere near...
I think the most important aspect is that you genuinely enjoy being with your partner.
I was in a poly family for a time and they can be wonderful. I envy that you seemed to have reached such an excellent balance ... Bravo. You have what I have wanted for years. Y'all seem to have the D/s poly idea down good, but the roles are interchangeable for you. I have a real issue with the sub role, due to my time in the service.
