I can see your point. Giving presents to do with gender roles like kitchen stuff for the woman or DIY stuff for the man just seems to reiterate that these jobs are for you and you only.
I would still say its wrong to slip in the blender with other presents that she actually wants cos it implies that thats all she does and is good for.. cooking and doing other 'womanly' chores. If the kitchen, not she, the kitchen needs new pots and pans or what not then get that when theyre needed and as a necessity not a present. Same as you dont want a lawn mower or any other chorey things for your birthday. Next time why not come up with something you actually want and tell her to get whatever it is, something you want, not need.
Thanks Gypsy. I think you're probably spot on in enlisting my daughters help.
Moving on......
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
I've debated whether or not to post here because I didn't want to start an all-out blow up over men vs. women and who does more for whom... but I feel that this is warranted.
I don't know how you are with regard to housework, but one thing I would LOVE for my birthday (or other significant gift holiday) is to be awakened to a fresh steaming cup of coffee, the offer of breakfast (and no attitude about my answer) and to be whisked away for the day to a spa or other indulgent affair with my friends. I return home to find a clean house, a spotless yard, an immaculate car and promises that they will remain that way for the next # of days.
Then it's a beautifully prepared dinner (beautiful because it's not prepared by me!), a long relaxing soak in the tub (or massage or something else that pampers) and to be told that I don't have to do or decide anything until the day is over (and that doesn't mean at MIDNIGHT!).
Just my thoughts.
Ling
Ok. Here goes. My hubs and I had this discussion almost 20 years ago now. No clothes unless he asks for a certain something. He always got clothes from the grands when he was a kid. Socks from this one, t-shirts from that one, etc.
The way I have always made him happy is to listen through out the year. He will see something when we're out and say whoa that's cool. File it away in your mind and whenever you can get that for a present. Also try to think outside the box.
My hubs grew up on and love Transformers. When the movie came out year before last he liked it too. So I went to Toys R Us and got him the Optimus Prime mask that turns your voice into his. Dumb? Yes. Did he laugh like a little boy? Hell yeah and even put it on and talked through it. He did it maybe 4 times and now it sits on top of his desk in his office. Waste of money? I don't think so.
Same thing for A Christmas Story. That dumb movie that comes out every year about a kid that wants a b b gun and his dad wins a sexy leg lamp as a prize from a contest. I got him the leg lamp one year for Christmas. He laughed out loud at that too. It's around here somewhere I think.
The point is, he didn't ask for them but he loved what they were attached to.
As Ling said, being a woman she should love a spa day. Or even a massage. You might want to start slow if she's never done that before. I give great gift certs. Massages usually come that way. Think of the Russian Nesting dolls. Put the gift cert in a small box wrapped up, then a little bigger one and than another one. Etc. I gave a gift cert to my FIL one year that was in a box as big as a coffin.
Hubby and I seem to do well on the gifts, but I'm usually helpful, pointing out various things I need or want well beforehand, and he does the same. Of course, going into your partners mind and looking for the truly unusual will always get you points. Three years ago I picked up a pair of bunny slippers for hubby, but these were the psychotic bunny from Monty Python's Search For the Holy Grail, with fangs and dripping blood. He laughed hysterically and wears them almost every day. He brought tears to my eyes with a rare early edition of the Hobbit as well, do some deep thinking, look at her likes, hobbies, favorites in film or books, and try to be just a little different. She'll appreciate it!!
Also, a suggestion on "useful" gifts? Don't make them gifts. My blender was shot, and hubby just out of the blue got me a new one with all the bells and whistles, I practically him in the kitchen because I needed it so badly. If he'd gotten it for a birthday or Christmas gift, I'd have shot him.
Just my 2 cents...
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
Chicks don't know what gifts to buy for guys, so they automatically go the tools route. "He's always doing something around the house. He'll like this."
But women like feminine things and not tools. They feel any appliance is a tool, which means work, and which means it's not a nice, feminine gift. It's something simply for "the kitchen" and which everybody will use. As soon as you buy something like that for her, you're implying she has to do the cooking or cleaning, etc.
Gift cards are always a good idea..... Another idea might be, you could take her to the store and let her pick out her own gift.
ok, when she says, "surprise me" it means, Find me something you know I am going to love. Here are a few "gifts" I got during my marriage, and he still wonders why I was not too pleased with them.
An iron.
An ironing board cover (no, it does not help that it has flowers on it),
A vacuum cleaner,
Sexy underwear too big/too small/too trashy,
A gift voucher,
A book entitled "How to Please Your Man In Bed",
A set of saucepans.
these were all genuine gift efforts, no exaggeration.
As a man I thought I'd put my penny in. None of us like to receive presents designed for the house or home, including kitchen or garden implements. It smacks of laziness and thoughtless ness. It implies your partner is just there to do the cooking or gardening. We all like our partners to buy us something for us! It shows an effort is made and thought applied. My wife took me to Barcelona one birthday I bought her a whole years worth of manicures and pedicures! That's an extreme but there are other was to please just think outside the box or check the net!
I would not be happy if I received a kitchen or household appliance as a birthday or Christmas gift from my SO unless he/she knew it was something I really wanted. Like if I really enjoyed cooking and I received a food processor or something like that. But to receive an electric can opener or a vacuum cleaner to me signifies that using them is my job in the house.
Just the same I would never buy a man power tools unless I knew that he enjoyed working with his hand on projects. I would never make it sound like fixing things is the man's job, so now you have no excuses.
These are things WE would just normally buy to have in the house so they can be used but whoever needs to use them.
is the standard response to my probes re pressies and such. Well, at least I've got the surprise bit sorted.
It may have been a poor metaphor, but it was still a metaphor. Plus, whilst I may be English, ALL of humanity's ancestors allegedly came from Africa where, let me think, Oh yes they have Gazelles 
