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Charley
Posted: Sunday, October 11, 2009 6:11:09 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/24/2009
Posts: 364
I'm a fan of clever, witty quotations, so I was wondering what your favourites are.

Here's one to kick off:

"How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg?"

Answer: "Four; calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg." Abraham Lincoln.

Guest
Posted: Sunday, October 11, 2009 9:25:25 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,505
"There are a number of mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief amongst these is the Mercedes-Benz 380L convertible."
PJ O'Rourke
SensualDesires83
Posted: Sunday, October 11, 2009 10:10:43 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/27/2009
Posts: 373
Location: Southeast, United States, United States
"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be." --Abraham H. Maslow

"So don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
Don't lie to me,
Just get your things.
I've made up your mind."

--Evanescence
Guest
Posted: Sunday, October 11, 2009 10:12:30 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,505
"No, no, you're not thinking; you're just being logical." – Nils Bohr
Sal
Posted: Sunday, October 11, 2009 10:43:10 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 10/4/2009
Posts: 37
A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you. - Françoise Sagan
Guest
Posted: Sunday, October 11, 2009 6:15:31 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,505
"I met in the street a very poor young man who was in love. His hat was old, his coat worn, his cloak was out at the elbows, the water passed through his shoes - and the stars through his soul."

Victor Hugo (1802-85)
Charley
Posted: Monday, October 12, 2009 3:47:26 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/24/2009
Posts: 364
Nice one Rocco, thanks. It reminds me of:

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." Oscar Wilde.
Charley
Posted: Monday, October 12, 2009 3:49:39 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/24/2009
Posts: 364
gypsymoth wrote:
"No, no, you're not thinking; you're just being logical." – Nils Bohr


Good quote. Are you a quantum physicist, Gypsymoth?
Guest
Posted: Monday, October 12, 2009 6:18:55 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,505
"The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us.
Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved.
How did we ever get started?"

Billy Connolly.


LadySharon
Posted: Monday, October 12, 2009 12:05:37 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2007
Posts: 2,166
Location: The Tundra, United States
"Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."
Woody Allen, Annie Hall

The Roommates Trilogy:
Roommates with Benefits
Roommates with Benefits: Snowed In
Roommates with Benefits: The Working Vacation is now available for your reading pleasure

Latest poem, Longing, is out now!

College Sex:



New story now available!
Guest
Posted: Monday, October 12, 2009 12:25:09 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,505
Charley wrote:
gypsymoth wrote:
"No, no, you're not thinking; you're just being logical." – Nils Bohr


Good quote. Are you a quantum physicist, Gypsymoth?


Fortunately, I am not. I do, however, associate with (far too many) scientists, including a few physicists.
Guest
Posted: Monday, October 12, 2009 12:27:28 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,505
Charley wrote:
Nice one Rocco, thanks. It reminds me of:

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." Oscar Wilde.


Reminds me of a lovely quote from Galileo. "I've loved the stars too fondly to be frightened of the night."
Guest
Posted: Monday, October 12, 2009 12:32:17 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,505
"Dreams are like bubbles; they burst and fade away."


That is a quote of Honeybee. I had this saw the words in my dream.
Guest
Posted: Monday, October 12, 2009 2:19:48 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,505
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
___________________________________

A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank
check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of
'up to and including my life.'
That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country
who no longer understand it.'
______________________________


Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.
___________________________________
"As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there's a twilight where everything remains seemingly unchanged, and it is in such twilight that we must be aware of change in the air, however slight, lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness." - Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas
_________________________________
"If we make peaceful revolution impossible, we make violent revolution inevitable." - John F. Kennedy
_________________________________
"Don't interfere with anything in the Constitution. That must be maintained, for it is the only safeguard of our liberties." - Abraham Lincoln
________________________________________
There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking. - Alfred Korzybski
_______________________________________

We are a nation of many nationalities, many races, many religions--bound together by a single unity, the unity of freedom and equality. Whoever seeks to set one nationality against another, seeks to degrade all nationalities. - Franklin Delano Roosevelt
__________________________________________

"What luck for rulers that men do not think."
-Adolf Hitler
_______________________________________

"Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur."
(Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound)
_______________________________________

"Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions." Albert Einstein

__________________________________
“The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!”
Elenore Roosevelt
__________________________
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering
if they've made a difference. The Marines don't
have that problem."






Rembacher
Posted: Monday, October 12, 2009 5:02:58 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/16/2008
Posts: 1,107
"The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success." Bruce Feirstein
Guest
Posted: Monday, October 12, 2009 6:42:33 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,505
Quote:
Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions." Albert Einstein



THAT should be the Lush motto, Chef!


Boy, I liked all of those. I liked your quote more than mine, Charley.
Lydia_
Posted: Monday, October 12, 2009 7:53:19 PM

Rank: Forum Whore

Joined: 7/9/2009
Posts: 2,523
Location: Cuffed to the forums, having things my way, United
"My computer is being a loose pussy whore"


My friend said that...It was unexpected and therefore funny as hell to me at the time.

Wishing you well,
Lydia


[size=4][color=red]Please check out:
A lesbian seduction and recommended read: Sugar and Spice, Fire and Ice
You give Such Sweet Punishment
My love poem: Gone From Me
An office part takes an interesting turn in Drunk Off Lust
tampmark122
Posted: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 3:08:25 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/19/2009
Posts: 284
Location: boston, United States
your as happy as you make up your mind to be - abe lincoln
Charley
Posted: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 4:07:52 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/24/2009
Posts: 364
I've never watched any Marx Brothers films, but I know they contain some funny quips, such as:

"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter.
Some day I intend reading it." Groucho Marx
chrscllngs
Posted: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 7:07:28 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/2/2009
Posts: 178
Location: devon
Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. ----Marie Curie

is very very true
DBarclay
Posted: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 8:35:00 AM

Rank: Mr Nobody

Joined: 2/28/2008
Posts: 948
Location: Florida, United States
Did
you know:

That the words race car spelled backward says
race car.

That eat is the only word that if you take the
1st letter and move it to the last, it spells it's past tense
ate.

And Have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in
"illegal immigrants,"and add just a few more letters, it spells out:
"Go home you free-loading, benefit grabbing, kid-producing, violent,
non-English speaking assholes and take those hairy-faced, sandal
wearing, bomb making, goat loving, smelly rag head bastards with
you."

How weird is that?



This is a joke not a political statement
fish1212
Posted: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 11:04:06 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 231
Location: at sea
"The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette."

"You know, if you smoke after having sex, you're doing it WAY too fast..."

"Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery ?"

"Thou shalt not omit adultery."

"Adolescence /n./ The stage between puberty and adultery."

"Love is a matter of chemistry, but sex is a matter of physics."

"Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best."

"Sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five it's fantastic !"

"Kinky is using a feather — Perverted is using the whole chicken"

all by — Woody Allen.
SilverArdorDragon
Posted: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 11:35:27 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/7/2009
Posts: 1,774
Location: Helena, Montana, United States
"I have yet to answer the greatest question, that has never been answered, 'What does a woman want?'" ~Sigmund Frued~
MrNudiePants
Posted: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 12:10:22 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 2,190
Location: United States
"Sex pleasure in woman is a kind of magic spell; it demands complete abandon; if words or movements oppose the magic of caresses, the spell is broken."

--Simone de Beauvoir
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 4:12:38 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,505
“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” ~ Robert McCloskey
Susan
Posted: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 5:04:22 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/30/2008
Posts: 1,574
Location: Azeroth, United States
'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'
'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.
'I don't much care where --' said Alice.
'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.
'--so long as I get somewhere,' Alice added as an explanation.


Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.

The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 5:41:29 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,505
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." - Anais Nin
Charley
Posted: Wednesday, October 14, 2009 4:28:50 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/24/2009
Posts: 364
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." Aristotle.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, October 14, 2009 8:39:42 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,505
'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.'
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, October 14, 2009 8:41:22 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,505
chefkathleen wrote:
'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.'
laughing8
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