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RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar How Y'all Are?

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The Right Rev of Lush
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RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent


Need a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink? If so, you’ve come to the right gin joint.

RUMPLATIONS features strong coffee, cheap booze, dirty floors, loose women, indecent men, forum whores, and if you're really on a losing streak, a cranky old fart behind, and/or under, the well-used bar.
So welcome. The lava lamp is now on.


Rumple Foreskin
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Lurker
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From what I gather the health care proposal in the US is fuct

I'm fixated unnaturally on "Life on Mars", having received the DVDs in the mail and watched the first episode already...I was told it was better than the US version...so far so good.

I did read a bad-ass story about a sex orgy masquerading as a rave (which theoretically could morph from the latter to the former in life, though not as completely as illustrated in the story)

So happy for the Saints, with unhealthy levels of schedenfreude leveled at the Vikings for selling their souls only to choke as they always do.

Sometimes I wish I were smarter...but I'm reminded often where I lack smarts...which smarts.

I'd like a straight double of Rip Van Winkle kentucky whisky...haven't had it in years.
Lurker
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I watched the film Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer the other day and need someone to talk to about it. I love it!! Intriguing yet weird storyline, brilliant acting and beautifully shot!
The Right Rev of Lush
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Quote by WillinBK
From what I gather the health care proposal in the US is fuct

I'm fixated unnaturally on "Life on Mars", having received the DVDs in the mail and watched the first episode already...I was told it was better than the US version...so far so good.

I did read a bad-ass story about a sex orgy masquerading as a rave (which theoretically could morph from the latter to the former in life, though not as completely as illustrated in the story)

So happy for the Saints, with unhealthy levels of schedenfreude leveled at the Vikings for selling their souls only to choke as they always do.

Sometimes I wish I were smarter...but I'm reminded often where I lack smarts...which smarts.

I'd like a straight double of Rip Van Winkle kentucky whisky...haven't had it in years.

Yeah, well, I want Charlize Theorn. The difference 'tween you and me is I'm never going to get her, but you might get RVW, someday. For the time being, here's a glass of the redneck elixir of life, Old Charter and Coke.

I should charge you double to teach you about talkiing politics, but since your said nice things about the Saints, it's on the house, this time.



Rumple Foreskin
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
The Right Rev of Lush
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Quote by MMonroe
I watched the film Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer the other day and need someone to talk to about it. I love it!! Intriguing yet weird storyline, brilliant acting and beautifully shot!

Not trying to run off business, you understand, but a "Talking About the Movies" sort of thread might attract a lot of interest. You're always welcome here (this joint ain't got NO standards) but why not give it a shot?

Rumple Foreskin
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Lurker
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Quote by RumpleForeskin
Need a place to gossip, share news
and I quote...house rules, dude (chuckles)...politics is both gossip AND news...don't worry I won't go Glenn Beck or Keith Olbermann up in here.
The Right Rev of Lush
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Quote by WillinBK
Quote by RumpleForeskin
Need a place to gossip, share news
and I quote...house rules, dude (chuckles)...politics is both gossip AND news...don't worry I won't go Glenn Beck or Keith Olbermann up in here.

Now it's true talking politics sin't against whatever passes for the house rules, but then neither is picking your nose and/or braiding your arm-pit hairs. It just brings down the tone of place, if you know what I mean.

Rumple Foreskin
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Forum Whore
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"loose women" Eh, Rumple?
You forgot Forum Whores!

[chuckles about Will's comment about "smarts"]
Flutterby Pharie
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For those of you who know that I am out of a job right now, guess what?? I have a job interview!!! Yay me! Its the same type of work that I was doing before, so I am comfortable with that AND it's a job!!

See, this is the kinda stuff you can talk about in a bar! No drinks for me though.....gotta be sober for the interview! LOL
♥ Listen, touch, and look around in the air and on the ground. If you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wings. ♥
Forum Whore
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Quote by Pixie
For those of you who know that I am out of a job right now, guess what?? I have a job interview!!! Yay me! Its the same type of work that I was doing before, so I am comfortable with that AND it's a job!!

See, this is the kinda stuff you can talk about in a bar! No drinks for me though.....gotta be sober for the interview! LOL


Good luck on your interview, Pixie!
The Right Rev of Lush
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Quote by Lady_Lydia
Quote by Pixie
For those of you who know that I am out of a job right now, guess what?? I have a job interview!!! Yay me! Its the same type of work that I was doing before, so I am comfortable with that AND it's a job!!

See, this is the kinda stuff you can talk about in a bar! No drinks for me though.....gotta be sober for the interview! LOL


Good luck on your interview, Pixie!

Yes indeed. We'll chill the champagne for a post-hiring celebration. Okay, so it's really, Sloe Gin Fizz. Drink enough of the stuff and you'll never notice the difference.

YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE! THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT.

My latest insult to good taste and English letters, OUTDOOR ABBY: a cautionary tale, has just been posted. So what else is know, you ask.? This one is supposed to be, funny, or at least a bit amusing, sorta.

Anyway, check 'er out (there's a link in my slig line) and let me know what you think.

Rumple Foreskin
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Active Ink Slinger
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I spent a good 2hrs washing and brushing my fake christmas hair yesterday. I thought it would lose some of it’s natural curls but it didn’t – it’s not as good as having regular extensions that I can wear all day and not worry about them clipping off but I’ll take what I can get. I missed them!

THANKS Ram!
Lurker
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I'm thinking many bottles of BudIce beer ,, several packs of Camel non filters ,, and all the lies you folks want to tell.

Oh ,, and can I stomp the cigarette butts out on the floor??
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by shameless009
I'm thinking many bottles of BudIce beer ,, several packs of Camel non filters ,, and all the lies you folks want to tell.

Oh ,, and can I stomp the cigarette butts out on the floor??


Any thing my little Sin Verguenza wants to do or have here is the place with all the women he could ever dream of as long as he does not let his buddy Marcos tell any more cheistes mongos (lame jokes).


Behind every strong soldier there is even a stronger woman who raised him " Proud Army Mom"
Lurker
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Quote by Pixie
For those of you who know that I am out of a job right now, guess what?? I have a job interview!!! Yay me! Its the same type of work that I was doing before, so I am comfortable with that AND it's a job!!

See, this is the kinda stuff you can talk about in a bar! No drinks for me though.....gotta be sober for the interview! LOL


Strongs for you pixie, babe! I hope all goes wellsmile
Lurker
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Quote by redhotmommacita
Quote by shameless009
I'm thinking many bottles of BudIce beer ,, several packs of Camel non filters ,, and all the lies you folks want to tell.

Oh ,, and can I stomp the cigarette butts out on the floor??


Any thing my little Sin Verguenza wants to do or have here is the place with all the women he could ever dream of as long as he does not let his buddy Marcos tell any more cheistes mongos (lame jokes).
I have no control over his actions.
The Right Rev of Lush
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Quote by shameless009
I'm thinking many bottles of BudIce beer ,, several packs of Camel non filters ,, and all the lies you folks want to tell.

Oh ,, and can I stomp the cigarette butts out on the floor??


Wimp. Crush 'em out in the palm of your hand, you know, like the forum whores all do.

Drinks are on Shameless! (Don't bother hunting, I've hidden all the "good" stuff, ie: over two weeks old.

Rumple Foreskin
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Lurker
0 likes
Quote by Exakta66
Hey Shameless...can you spare a cigarette? I left mine in the machine...
I will fix you right up. ,, could you hand me another BudIce Please???
Lurker
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Quote by Exakta66
Hey Shameless...can you spare a cigarette? I left mine in the machine...
I will fix you right up. ,, could you hand me another BudIce Please???
The Right Rev of Lush
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Quote by Lady_Lydia
"loose women" Eh, Rumple?
You forgot Forum Whores!

[chuckles about Will's comment about "smarts"]


Egads, he says, smacking his head.

Forgive me, my Lady Lydia. The oversight is now corrected.

Rumple Foreskin
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
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Speaking of bars...

A man walks into a bar with a St. Bernard and asks for a martini. The dog
requests a double martini.

The bartender says to the man "So you're a ventriloquist. Big deal. We don't
serve dogs in here."

The man gets up to go to the men's room, and the dog again requests his drink.
The bartender is amazed. "Good God, you can talk. Will you do a favor for me?"

The dog replies, "What's in it for me?"

The bartender goes to the cash register and takes out a $20 bill. "Here's $20.
Go across the street to Riley's bar and tell the guys in there that they are a
bunch of wimps and that our softball team will whip their a**es when we play
them this weekend."

The dog goes out. His owner returns and asks "Where's Rex?"

The bartender says "He went across the street to do me a favor." The
owner is visibly upset and says "I don't let Rex out alone!"

The dog's owner leaves immediately to retrieve Rex, but Rex is not across the
street. He is in the gutter in front of the bar going at it fast and hard with
an Irish Setter. The owner is amazed. "Rex, what's come over you? You've
never done anything like this before." Rex responds, "I've never had money
before."



You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
Lurker
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Good ,, just ,, Good !!
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
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Hey Shameless...did you get that beer yet??? I'll tell you the service in this place sucks...
Anyway, here's something to think about while you're having that beer...

It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy...

A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
advantage: Tie

If you get a hair in your teeth
consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy

Too much head makes you mad at the
person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is
still edible.
Advantage: Beer.

If you come home smelling like beer,
your wife may get mad. If you come home
smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer.

6 beers in a night and you better not
drive. 6 pussies in a night and you
have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
Advantage: Tie

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath,
you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath,
you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer.

Wearing a condom does not make a beer
any less enjoyable.
Advantage: beer.

Pussy can make you see God. Beer can
make you see the porcelain god.
Advantage: Pussy

If you think all day about the next pussy
you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer,
you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy.

If you try to snag a beer at work,
you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy
at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
Advantage: Tie

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may
break. If you suddenly drop a pussy,
it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.

If you change to another beer, your
old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: Beer.

The best pussy you have ever had is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy.

The worst pussy you have ever had is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.

Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Tie

Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead,
Pete's Wicked Winter Brew.
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage Pussy.

The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy.


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
Lurker
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Good stuff kid.. !!
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
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And if you ever do get that beer you can ponder:

25 Good Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Women
1. You can enjoy a beer all month long
2. Beer stains wash out
3. You don't have to wine and dine beer
4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play baseball
5. When you beer goes flat, you toss it out
6. Hangovers go away
7. A beer labels come off without a fight
8. Beer is never late
9. Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer
10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer
11. Beer never gets a headache
12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents
13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer
14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head
15. A beer always goes down easy
16. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty
17. You can share a beer with your friends
18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer
19. Beer is always wet
20. Beer doesn't demand equality
21. You can have a beer in public
22. A beer doesn't care when you come
23. A frigid beer is a good beer
24. You don't have to wash a beer before it taste good
25. If you change beers you don't have to pay alimony


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Exakta66
And if you ever do get that beer you can ponder:

25 Good Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Women
1. You can enjoy a beer all month long
2. Beer stains wash out
3. You don't have to wine and dine beer
4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play baseball
5. When you beer goes flat, you toss it out
6. Hangovers go away
7. A beer labels come off without a fight
8. Beer is never late
9. Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer
10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer
11. Beer never gets a headache
12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents
13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer
14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head
15. A beer always goes down easy
16. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty
17. You can share a beer with your friends
18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer
19. Beer is always wet
20. Beer doesn't demand equality
21. You can have a beer in public
22. A beer doesn't care when you come
23. A frigid beer is a good beer
24. You don't have to wash a beer before it taste good
25. If you change beers you don't have to pay alimony



Us Women can say the same things about why beer is better than men.
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
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Quote by SilverArdorDragon
Quote by Exakta66
And if you ever do get that beer you can ponder:

25 Good Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Women
1. You can enjoy a beer all month long
2. Beer stains wash out
3. You don't have to wine and dine beer
4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play baseball
5. When you beer goes flat, you toss it out
6. Hangovers go away
7. A beer labels come off without a fight
8. Beer is never late
9. Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer
10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer
11. Beer never gets a headache
12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents
13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer
14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head
15. A beer always goes down easy
16. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty
17. You can share a beer with your friends
18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer
19. Beer is always wet
20. Beer doesn't demand equality
21. You can have a beer in public
22. A beer doesn't care when you come
23. A frigid beer is a good beer
24. You don't have to wash a beer before it taste good
25. If you change beers you don't have to pay alimony



Us Women can say the same things about why beer is better than men.


I didn't post that list...it was actually much longer...

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories