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RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar Options · View
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Friday, June 22, 2012 3:07:51 PM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Three Long Island Teas coming up. There's a whiskey chaser for DM who no doubt needs the solace after setting up a Facebook page for the Lush anthology..

Scooter, I like, Gunner. Has a nice, macho ring. Unfortunately, at my age, Grunter, would be more appropriate.

BAT, you need to stop bottling up all that 'Heat'edhostility. Let it all hang out.

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
sugarbabe
Posted: Friday, June 22, 2012 4:14:27 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/30/2010
Posts: 691
Location: northeast, United States
As I was surfing the net here are a few things that came to mind mr. rumple.

Smooth Hawk
White Hawk
Hawk's Beard
Sir Mugwort
Sir Thorn Apple
Sir Cognac
Mr. Speedwell
Hairy Tare


hahahh!!! and that was just in 20 mins.

I'll take another Long Island Iced Tea...please evil4

sex is like a joke...it's only good if you get it


Dirty_D
Posted: Friday, June 22, 2012 5:05:40 PM

Rank: Head Nurse
Moderator

Joined: 4/15/2011
Posts: 7,483
Location: Soaking up the sun, United States
Spent the day mowing the grass down here in FL, hook me up with a Long island Iced tea also please !
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Friday, June 22, 2012 7:27:50 PM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Another round of Long Island's best coming up. Sugar, your efforts continue to amaze me. Many thanks.

Naughty Nurse, just finished your contest entry. It more than earned my five vote.. Wish there'd been places like that back in my day. All we had then was love-ins, mini-skirts, streaking, discos, and the sexual revolution, but we did our best to make do.

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
scooter
Posted: Friday, June 22, 2012 8:01:50 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
Hay, that's a good one Rump.

You could do something like; TheHappyGrunter, RumpleGruntskin, GruntsAreUs or SirGruntsAlot.
These are just a few.

DM, how you doing old buddy?
I warned you about letting naughtynurse get to close to all that cold ice cream evil4
Or maybe it was chefKathleen that melted all that stuff.

Since your already mixing Rump, A long Island iced tea sounds awesome.
Hey, there you go; LongIsland, or Slowscrew, FuzzyNaval, SexOnTheBeach, CaptainMorgan or my personal favorite; 6Pack

Anyways, it's Friday night, and I got all intentions to enjoy.

CheersPint Drunk
The_Young_Swell
Posted: Friday, June 22, 2012 9:23:01 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2012
Posts: 158
Location: Canada
Okay, guys, don't watch this tonight, but you might consider keeping it handy for first thing tomorrow.



Always drink upstream from the herd and never miss a good chance to shut up..
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Saturday, June 23, 2012 9:40:12 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Morning, weekend wantons. There's plenty of Busty's coffee left over from yesterday. Unfortunately, all the brandy, whiskey and Bailey's has been used up. The only thing left to ease the taste of Busty's brew is rum. Sorry, Scooter, it's not exactly Cap't Morgan, more like, Very Ordinary Seaperson Dumbrowski.

Welcome to Rumplations, Mr. Swell. Here's some tips to make your experience here, if not enjoyable, at least a bit less unendurable.

Busty is mySeeing Eye Trollop. Approach her coffee with extreme caution.
Coma and Tose are the two derelict, degenerate drunks sitting over at the corner table. Do not, I say again, NOT, sit downwind of them
The fuzzy, eight-legged life-form in the hot nuts machine is, Terrance the Tarantula. Grabbing a handful of 'free' nuts is not recommended. (hint, hint)
Services are held on Sundays, though rather spasmodically, by the Right Rev Rumple Foreskin. The sermons are crap, but the choir, 'The Amazing Graces' are a heavenly blessing, especially when loosely garbed in their sheer minirobes.

Other than that, you're on your own.

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
scooter
Posted: Saturday, June 23, 2012 12:39:30 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
Lfunny ,,Dumbrowski

But your not Polish Rump

Hi SwellsAlot,

Everything Rump says is true, or at least I'm pretty sure of d'oh!

Other than the part about; the service's are crap, that parts 100% bull.

Have a great weekend everybody, and see you all at service tomorrow~

scooterPint Drunk
The_Young_Swell
Posted: Saturday, June 23, 2012 3:38:15 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2012
Posts: 158
Location: Canada
I prefer Captain Morgan Deluxe, but have been known to drink anything, including – in my wild berserker youth – a form of brandy which I believe was manufactured exclusively for the cleaning of boots, or possibly leaching feces and urine from horses’ hooves.

Nothing to be concerned about, and besides, my walking stick is hollow. It can and does function as an emergency flask.

Always drink upstream from the herd and never miss a good chance to shut up..
Guest
Posted: Saturday, June 23, 2012 4:40:47 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,416
Tropical storm Debbie is on the way. Nice! I'll have something cold and wet Rump. Thank you.
Anyone seen Algol? What, did he get famous and forget his friends? Or I'll bet a woman has something to do with it. It usually does doesn't it?
Hey Scootie Scoot! Cheers! Welcome Swell. We're glad you're here.
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Saturday, June 23, 2012 6:15:15 PM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Evening, Chef. I bet every headline writer in the southeast is hoping against hope that 'cane comes ashore around Daytona Beach. Then they can all proclaim, "Debbie Does Daytona". Headline writers live for those moments.

It would be nice to have Al among us again. But I was out of pocket for several months and then, not unlike a bad fish taco, I came back. So it goes.

With all the orders for Long Island Tea, the supply of Idaho's Best Vodka is running low. Might have to switch to EverClear instead or, maybe, moonshine. Any takers?

glasses8



Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
sugarbabe
Posted: Saturday, June 23, 2012 6:22:46 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/30/2010
Posts: 691
Location: northeast, United States
Moonshine...
I'll have to call my friend that drives for Tijuana Taxi service.
But hey, let em' slide. *Takes a big deep breath and down the hatch he blows,*
I meant she goes!!
Pint Drunk

Debbie Does Daytona!!!


toothy2

sex is like a joke...it's only good if you get it


Dirty_D
Posted: Saturday, June 23, 2012 8:40:43 PM

Rank: Head Nurse
Moderator

Joined: 4/15/2011
Posts: 7,483
Location: Soaking up the sun, United States
I'll take the everclear please.

Thank you RF for all your kind words!!

Scooter, I Love ice cream in a way that's probably unhealthy!
bat
Posted: Saturday, June 23, 2012 10:47:59 PM

Rank: Bat out of Hell

Joined: 3/18/2012
Posts: 2,194
Location: Teleporting anywhere I would like
Hey, Rump I"ll take some of that moonshine....Please - Scooter has some good "moonshine" stories LOL... Well I came to Rock the house ...So let's get this party started Pour Wine Hugs Regaeman Man



Infinite Love IS the Only Truth...Everything else IS Illusion!



http://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/my-own-slow-ride.aspx

bat
Posted: Saturday, June 23, 2012 10:51:26 PM

Rank: Bat out of Hell

Joined: 3/18/2012
Posts: 2,194
Location: Teleporting anywhere I would like

This ones for you Sugarbabe...Shake it up.....Hugs Pour Wine


Infinite Love IS the Only Truth...Everything else IS Illusion!



http://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/my-own-slow-ride.aspx

scooter
Posted: Sunday, June 24, 2012 7:50:30 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
Well then here you go naughtyN,
One vanilla & strawberry cone sprayed down with everclear, but your gonna have to hurry..




Whats cookin chef! Did Terrence ever wake up after cleaning up DirtyMartini's mess the other night?

Rump, if Debbie does do Daytona, I'd like to be there to see it!
I'll grab Al and our surf boards and gulf clubs and be right down.
chef already said; we can stay with her.

I need a good sermon before departure tho
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Sunday, June 24, 2012 9:06:46 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Dearly beloved, gather 'round wherever you've been roaming for the doors of the First Church of the Burning Bush and Discount House of Lickers are flung open and services are about to commence in the sanctuary.

Our choir, 'The Amazing Graces' are wearing their white, mini-choir robes today in honor of Sister Naughty Nurse who, unbeknownst to her, has agreed to do asolo chorus during the choir's rendition of 'Love Lifted Me.' The entire choir: Sisters Sharon, Chef, BAT, Sugar, Sisters, and Holly will then join her in a medley of, no-doubt, uplifting psalms.

Yes, dearly beloved, it is time for fellowshit, sistership and rejoicing unto the serenity of the stroke. Let me ask if you've ever considered, TIME. Backwards, it spells, EMIT. Don't know what that has to do with the price of communion wine, but who are we to question such divine mysteries?Just think, dearly beloved, it it weren't for time, there'd be no 'Minute Men' which, I'm told, many ladies would consider a blessing.

Can I have a big, Amen?

On your way out, today, you'll find Brother Scooter , collection plate in hand, guarding the exit. Cheerful givers will get quick egress, while Generous givers will get an immediate exit visa.

The Right Rev Rumple Foreskin glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
The_Young_Swell
Posted: Sunday, June 24, 2012 1:40:20 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2012
Posts: 158
Location: Canada

Great Sermon, Rev!

By the way, I poured about half an inch of Captain Morgan Deluxe from my cane flask into the empty collection plate and set it down on the floor. Absolutely no one obstructed me when I left early, before the last “Amen” had died away.

Hey, I have a crappy car and need a good head start on the traffic toward the beach.





You'd be amazed at all the things I uncover there, buried in the sand.

Always drink upstream from the herd and never miss a good chance to shut up..
Guest
Posted: Sunday, June 24, 2012 4:52:03 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,416
Dirty_D
Posted: Sunday, June 24, 2012 10:02:36 PM

Rank: Head Nurse
Moderator

Joined: 4/15/2011
Posts: 7,483
Location: Soaking up the sun, United States
It has poured down rain for 17 hrs straight here. Got any hot soup on?

I actually just got home from work. It has rained so much today that there is standing water on 75 & broken down on the side of the road was neither a car or truck, but rather a boat!!(true!)

This is how Debbie does Gainesville!
DirtyMartini
Posted: Sunday, June 24, 2012 10:45:06 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,833
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
Good Evening my fellow drunken Lush-type people...so, you're in Gainseville Naughty-N? I know the guy who owns Gainesville Violins, if that means anything, though probably not...

Sorry to hear you had so much rain down there...we could use a bit up here to cool things off...

That was indeed a lovely sermon there Reverend, and speaking of the price of communion wine, it's about time you broke down and bought some more because once again we seem to be out of it...I just woke up, looked around the room, and all I see is empty bottles yet again...please take care of this matter ASAP...thanks...

Anyway, speaking of drinking, a popular topic around here I might add...what might be the chances a guy might get a beverage around here? A double Dirty Martini should do for now...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5


You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

scooter
Posted: Monday, June 25, 2012 1:52:15 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
A big Amen Rumple


Donate now everybody,
before it's too late
Regaeman Man
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Monday, June 25, 2012 5:47:27 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
"I just woke up, looked around the room, and all I see is empty bottles yet again...please take care of this matter." --Dirty Martini--

No problem, old son. Scooter would you and Young Swell mind putting DM back to sleep? Many thanks.

Morning, ye lacivious lads and lad-ies of Lush. The Caffine Fairy has drop off an emergency relief shipment of her ambrosia to help counter the effects of a weekend spent with Busty's coffee. Enjoy.

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
LadySharon
Posted: Monday, June 25, 2012 10:57:35 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2007
Posts: 2,166
Location: The Tundra, United States
hello my favorite barflies. it's a cool day today, and the heat is expected to return with triple digit daiquiemps. looks like I'll never get that strawberry daiquiri, so i'll go for rump's moonshine special.

The Roommates Trilogy:
Roommates with Benefits
Roommates with Benefits: Snowed In
Roommates with Benefits: The Working Vacation is now available for your reading pleasure

Latest poem, Longing, is out now!

College Sex:



New story now available!
scooter
Posted: Monday, June 25, 2012 10:59:37 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
I got this one, one young swell of a fella,

The best way I know how to put DirtyMartini to sleep is to
sit down next to him and tell him a few of my stories.
So far, it's worked every time


Regaeman Man
scooter
Posted: Monday, June 25, 2012 11:05:31 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
LadySharon wrote:
hello my favorite barflies. it's a cool day today, and the heat is expected to return with triple digit daiquiemps. looks like I'll never get that strawberry daiquiri, so i'll go for rump's moonshine special.


Hey LadyS,

Did you say triple digit Daiquiris, or Strawberry daiquiemps?
Yeah Rump, hook Sharon and me up with a couple of Strawberry Daiquiemps
and get yourself whatever you'd like evil4
LadySharon
Posted: Monday, June 25, 2012 11:12:55 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2007
Posts: 2,166
Location: The Tundra, United States
triple digit temps *bitch slaps typist* Scooter! I missed you!

The Roommates Trilogy:
Roommates with Benefits
Roommates with Benefits: Snowed In
Roommates with Benefits: The Working Vacation is now available for your reading pleasure

Latest poem, Longing, is out now!

College Sex:



New story now available!
Guest
Posted: Monday, June 25, 2012 4:19:43 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,416
Someone sent this to me. I thought you might be interested.

"The" Ten Commandments, just for (in) case.

and what they mean to Beer Church


1. "Thou shalt have no other gods before me."
This means that it is okay to like wine, or whiskey, or what have you, but you must love Beer above all others.

2. "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image."
Remember those hats that were vaguely popular back in the 70’s? The hats that were made of macramé and old beer cans? Don’t do that.

3. "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain."
No beer bashing. Never say things like, "fuck beer" or "beer sucks." Also, try to refrain from dissin’ on beers that you yourself would not chose to drink. For instance, you may not like Hamms, but that does not mean it sucks. It simply means that you don’t like it. Someone else does. All beers have their place. Just because it’s place is not in your fridge, that doesn’t mean you should call it names. That creates bad beer karma. An example: Upon first tasting a premium American lager, a famous English humorist once said, "Put it back in the horse!" Not long after that, while adventuring in New Guinea, he found himself stripped naked, lathered in honey, tied to a pole and fed to vicious hordes of fire ants for the amusement of a native tribe. Fire ants go for the "soft" tissue first. Ouch.

4. "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy."
There are two reasons why you should not work on Sunday: Hangovers and the NFL.

5. "Honor thy father and thy mother:"
I grew up around Seattle. That means my Dad had to choose between being a Rainier man, or a Oly man. My Dad was a Rainier man. I respect that. My Mom sometimes adds a couple pinches of salt to a glass of draught beer. She doesn’t really have a reason, she just likes it that way. That’s cool. And if your parents don’t drink beer, it's okay to pity them as long as you honor them by having a cold one in their name!

6. "Thou shalt not kill."
Do not waste beer. We all joke about "party fouls," but truthfully we should morn the loss of a perfectly good beer.

7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery."
When considering this commandment, the lessons learned by former President Bill Clinton come to mind. In short, you should never aspire to be President. No job in the world is tougher to do. No job will expose you to such high levels of stress. It therefore follows that no job will make you want a beer more than being President. Also, since beer is easier to obtain when you are a person of such significant power, it is a bizarre twist of fate that being President so seriously hampers your ability to drink freely. Something as simple as drinking a beer in the Oval Office will likely cause a blatantly political and hypocritical outcry of disapproval. You will be forced to humble yourself and apologize to a nation of ungrateful people who likely would have done the exact same thing given the opportunity.

8. "Thou shalt not steal."
This one is pretty obvious. Don’t steal someone else’s beer. Always share the last bit in the pitcher evenly. When splitting a 6 pack with someone, don’t drink extra fast just so you can have 4 beers. Respect your fellow human being’s appreciation of beer.

9. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor."
This means that you should always invite, or at least advise, your neighbors when you have a party.

10. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house, nor anything that is thy neighbor’s."
There is no reason to be jealous of, or to harbor ill will for your neighbor just because he has beer. You can have beer too. Every grocery store and every convenience store has got beer for sale to the public, and you are free to go there and get some beer of your own. However, if your neighbor has a stainless steel Snap-On Beer Fridge, a 42" plasma screen TV, a pair of Lazy Boy recliners, and a urinal in his carpeted garage, nobody will blame you for being jealous.
The_Young_Swell
Posted: Monday, June 25, 2012 4:19:44 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2012
Posts: 158
Location: Canada
scooter wrote:
I got this one, one young swell of a fella...


Thanks Scooter, your way sounds almost gentle.

My way is to sing to them, songs of the old sod (any old sod, so long as someone has written a song about him) in a voice of purest sulphur.

They fall asleep right quick, either through force of willpower, squeezing the pressure point above their throat until they pass out, or banging their head against the wall until the desired condition has been attained.

It’s a most effective weapon, but as you might imagine, not nearly selective enough for most occasions. More useful in quelling a riot, than an isolated incident of fisticuffs.



Always drink upstream from the herd and never miss a good chance to shut up..
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Monday, June 25, 2012 5:15:29 PM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Sister Chef, let me be among the first to exclaim, AMEN!

Young Swell, your approach to 'sleep inducement' could give the Sandman nightmares.

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
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