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RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar Options · View
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Saturday, September 21, 2013 10:18:04 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Today is the birthday of, Stephen King.

Go scare the shit out of someone you love to celebrate this day.

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Wednesday, October 02, 2013 4:16:59 PM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Those wanting the house draft Beer, Old Possum Piss, will have to be patient. Busty burned out the motor of herlatest lifetime warranty vibrator and swiped the draft beer pull handle as a temporary (I hope) replacement. Trust me, using a crescent wrench to operate the thing is not handy.

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
DirtyMartini
Posted: Saturday, October 05, 2013 10:49:06 AM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,833
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
Good Afternoon Lush-type people...what's happening over here? Business looks a bit slow...I see more than the usual amount of cobwebs on Coma and Tose, must be the maid's year off...

Ah yeah, been busy as of late...it's bad when you get too busy you forget to drink, probably just old age setting in...I was going to stop in yesterday for National Vodka Day, and order a martini...I figured you probably had something that might resemble vodka available, but wasn't too sure about vermouth, olives, or a clean glass...so, I figured I'd pass on that one...

Let me get a tall bucket of that house draft Old Possum Piss...as long as it has alcohol in it, it should work for me...maybe I should get a mug of Beaver Breath on the side as a chaser just to make sure...

I'm sure you got the tap working now, and once again got a handle on things there Reverend...

Cheers,
Alan.
occasion5



You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

adagio_sabadicus
Posted: Saturday, October 05, 2013 10:54:54 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/24/2013
Posts: 1,376
Why it's looks plum bleak in cheer
Jis'ta fu redneks drinkin beer
And a gal playin da jute box
Could we herd Loretta Lynn...peeeeeeeez bootyshake
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Monday, October 07, 2013 5:15:56 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Morning, Ad. Sorry about missing you yesterday. My notification system is not hit or miss so much as miss or near miss. That said, with things so slow around here, Busty and I are spending some quality time out back in the dumpster hot tub. Next time you come crawling in, just keep working your way back to us.

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Tuesday, October 08, 2013 5:54:33 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Busty got all excited when she heard about a vibrator store offering free vibs. Then I pointed out it's only for laid-off federal employees. Now she's mucho PO'ed at, not at the vib company, but me. (sigh) Anyway, here's the link...maybe.



glasses8


Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Tuesday, October 08, 2013 6:04:09 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Oh, HECK-E-DARN! Another link bites the dust. Tell you what instead of me getting all stressed out trying to post a link that actually works (what a concept!) you sorry-assed, no-account free-loaders can just go to VIBRATORS.COM and look it up for your own self.

Ever helpful, pleasant and, most of all, customer oriented,

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Wednesday, October 09, 2013 5:08:05 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
"The Onion" is reporting that...

Congressional Aides Withholding Sex Until Budget Compromise Is Reached

WASHINGTON—As the shutdown of the federal government enters its second week, with legislators on both sides of the aisle having so far failed to bring a resolution to the negotiating table, sources confirmed Tuesday that Washington’s congressional aides have opted to withhold sex from their employers until a budget compromise is reached. “We were all hoping it would never come to this, but unless lawmakers agree to put aside their differences and get the government moving again, then any and all clandestine sexual intercourse with us is simply off the table,” said Allison Pereira, 26, personal aide to Rep. Tom Massie (R-KY) and just one of hundreds of Capitol Hill staffers who reportedly have resolved to deny the nation’s elected officials sexual favors of any kind until they hammer out an evenhanded federal budget agreement that resolves the Obamacare stalemate and ends the shutdown. “With hundreds of thousands of government employees out of work and the congressional process held hostage to partisan gridlock, we have no chance but to leverage our most powerful bargaining chip. So until they figure out a budget deal, sex is off. And that includes oral sex and hand jobs, by the way.” In the absence of gratification from their subordinates, sources confirmed that the sex boycott has forced all 535 U.S. senators and House representatives to avail themselves of D.C.’s various escort services and brothels, at an estimated cost to the American taxpayer of $6.2 million.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
LadySharon
Posted: Saturday, October 12, 2013 12:39:07 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2007
Posts: 2,166
Location: The Tundra, United States
*sneaks in with fresh batch of moonshine made with antifreeze*

The Roommates Trilogy:
Roommates with Benefits
Roommates with Benefits: Snowed In
Roommates with Benefits: The Working Vacation is now available for your reading pleasure

Latest poem, Longing, is out now!

College Sex:



New story now available!
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Saturday, October 12, 2013 6:17:00 PM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
SHARON! Glad to have you back among the Rumplations riff-raff. And thanks for the moonshine. It's good and good for you...I'm sure?

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Monday, October 14, 2013 6:46:07 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Morning, y'all. It's Columbus Day so most government offices will be closed. Oh yeah, that's right, thanks to the Ted Cruz for President, Tea Party inspired bungling in Congress, most government offices have been shut down for two weeks. And if the Congressional Cruzers haven't done enough to us, our government now faces defaulting on its debts. (sigh)

IMO, this calls for a 'Let's Get Drunk and Screw' celebration. Just a thought, you understand.

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
seeker4
Posted: Monday, October 14, 2013 8:14:46 AM

Rank: Story Verifier
Moderator

Joined: 10/17/2012
Posts: 4,539
Location: Canada
So let me get this straight. Your civil servants are sitting around doing nothing? And that's different from when the government is operating how?

*Ba ching*

Up here in the Great White North, it's turkey day (our Thanksgiving). If we waited until November like the Americans, we wouldn't have to freeze the turkeys. They'd come from the farm that way.

*Ba ching*

Right, enough stand-up comedy (as in, everyone is standing up and leaving). Where's the good stuff?



One of my favorite, and most viewed, stories. Bill and his daughter-in-law Becky relieve their sexual frustration with a steamy summer fling.

Frustration and Relief

The April Stories:

April's Secret - A college student learns a sexy secret from his girlfriend's past

The Pastor's Secret - A lonely minister seeks solace from an escort
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Monday, October 14, 2013 8:50:40 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Seeker, thanks for the visit, if not the 'jokes' or whatever those were. Coma and Tose seemed to like your performance...sorry about that. ;)

glasses8.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Wednesday, October 16, 2013 5:52:07 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
In a mostly futile but unending effort to raise the culture level around here, a poem is hereby presented.

"I have outlived my pecker." A Poem - by Willie Nelson

My nookie days are over, my pilot light is out,
What used to be my pride and joy, is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord, from my trousers it would spring.
But now I've got a full time job, to find the friggin thing.

It used to be embarrassing, the way it would behave.
For every single morning, it would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches, it sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its little head, and watch me tie my shoes!

--

Thanks, Willie. Couldn't have said it better myself. ;)

glasses8


Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
LadySharon
Posted: Saturday, October 19, 2013 11:11:13 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2007
Posts: 2,166
Location: The Tundra, United States
Happy Saturday! I an shivering here in the Great Midwest and wearing long johns. I have a new assault on the English language on the blue site for their contest. I hear first prize is Alan showing up to do a pub crawl, saving this place for last. Is there more moonshine available?

Contest entry

I do have another version of the above poem I'm going to use for this site.

The Roommates Trilogy:
Roommates with Benefits
Roommates with Benefits: Snowed In
Roommates with Benefits: The Working Vacation is now available for your reading pleasure

Latest poem, Longing, is out now!

College Sex:



New story now available!
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Saturday, October 19, 2013 3:18:19 PM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Afternoon, your Ladyship. There's plenty 'Starlight' (one gulp and you'll see stars) moon shine around. Now about those 'long johns'. I'm just wondering if maybe, hopefully, they're the type with a cute, and easily unbuttoned, flap covering your primo posterior. ;)

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
LadySharon
Posted: Wednesday, October 23, 2013 6:42:45 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2007
Posts: 2,166
Location: The Tundra, United States
Rump, they're of the crotchless and assless variety.

The Roommates Trilogy:
Roommates with Benefits
Roommates with Benefits: Snowed In
Roommates with Benefits: The Working Vacation is now available for your reading pleasure

Latest poem, Longing, is out now!

College Sex:



New story now available!
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Thursday, October 24, 2013 4:54:24 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Morning, Sharon. Crotch-less AND ass-less, you say? An old fart can only dream of lending a hand, among other things, to help fill those enticing portals to pleasure. ;)

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Thursday, October 24, 2013 4:54:51 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Morning, Sharon. Crotch-less AND ass-less, you say? An old fart can only dream of lending a hand, among other things, to help fill those enticing portals to pleasure. ;)

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
scooter
Posted: Monday, October 28, 2013 9:37:48 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
Tuesday only comes once a week.



RumpleForeskin
Posted: Tuesday, October 29, 2013 5:33:27 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Morning, Scooter. Must agree with your pithy observation. But on the plus side, there's Tushy Thursday and Wanton Wenches Weekend. ;)

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
scooter
Posted: Friday, November 01, 2013 12:14:12 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2010
Posts: 2,689
Location: Ohio
Hi Rump.

It's good to see you again friend, you look great!

Have you been working out?
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Friday, November 01, 2013 5:34:14 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Morning, Scooter. Who, me...looking great? Either you need to schedule a check-up with an eyeball doctor and/or find an AA meeting ASAP. ;)

BTW, Busty just got a water-proof vibrator and is cranking up the dumpster hot tub. Soon as you get off the golf course come by and lend a hand with the trial runs.

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
Guest
Posted: Saturday, November 02, 2013 1:33:28 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,414
so boring ... can anyone suggest me doing interesting stuffs? :P
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Saturday, November 02, 2013 6:14:42 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Luc, you devil, you. Welcome to Rumplations. If you're bored, may I suggest: knocking off a bottle of, Beaver Breath Brandy (available at a special exorbitant price for new customers), or perhaps discussing life, its consequences and inevitabilities with Terrance the Tarantula from his accustomed guard post inside the hot pistachio nut dispense and/or helping Busty, my seeing-eye harlot, break in her new waterproof vibrator out back in the dumpster hot tub. Your call.

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
LadySharon
Posted: Saturday, November 02, 2013 11:32:49 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2007
Posts: 2,166
Location: The Tundra, United States
I have another assault on the English language on the Blue Site for the contest going on over there. I'm just longing for a man's touch to give me some inspiration right about now.

The Roommates Trilogy:
Roommates with Benefits
Roommates with Benefits: Snowed In
Roommates with Benefits: The Working Vacation is now available for your reading pleasure

Latest poem, Longing, is out now!

College Sex:



New story now available!
bustybethxx
Posted: Sunday, November 03, 2013 11:06:05 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/3/2013
Posts: 197
Location: essex, United Kingdom
ive never tried brandy
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Sunday, November 03, 2013 7:32:15 PM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
Welcome to Rumplations, Beth. The popularity of Beaver Breath Brandy in a joint like this surpasseth all understanding. If you decide to give it a try, may I suggest you leave any valuables with Coma and Tose, our resident drunken old farts over at the corner table, and then consider a tall glass of, Old Overshoe Bourbon: the despair of Lonesome Polecat, Ky, as a chaser?

glasses8

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
Guest
Posted: Thursday, November 07, 2013 9:23:13 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 659,414
204-oral hello1 Who wants to buy me a Vodka/tonic, get enough in me and I might turn into that whorePour Wine 3some
RumpleForeskin
Posted: Friday, November 08, 2013 4:38:38 AM

Rank: The Right Rev of Lush

Joined: 7/3/2009
Posts: 2,925
Location: Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx,
(Rumple pauses halfway through preparing ten vodka and tonics)

How's it going, Ms Jones? I just happen to be whipping it ou...I mean, whipping up a batch of vodka and tonics...doubles, of course. Care for one, or two, or a few? ;)

glasses8


Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

Feels So Right, It Can't Be WrongMore steamy, seductive, straight step-sibling sex, 2-3

FROM:
Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love:
a Festive contest winner – honest

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding
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