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How important is a man's height? Options · View
DamonX
Posted: Saturday, March 27, 2010 4:32:32 PM

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I have a good friend who has recently stopped hanging out with the rest of our group because he claims that there is no point going out to bars and clubs anymore. He says that because of his height (he's about 5'5) that its impossible for him to meet women. He has always bitched about being short but the rest of us always kind of shrugged it off and just thought of him as being kind of a bitter guy. When I started to actually think about it though, I began to see where he was coming from.

Even though he's a pretty good looking guy, the women he's had in the past have usually been somewhat less attractive. We all joke about his "low standards" but he always claimed that "he needed to take whatever he could get." I always thought "well why doesn't he just go for short girls." But when I asked a few short girls about it, it turned out that short girls don't like short guys either.

I'm starting to feel bad because we've all always bugged him about being short, thinking that it was no big deal. But when I thought about it...we would never tease a friend for being fat or ugly. So why do we do feel fine about bugging a guy for being short? I've always tried to reassure him by telling him that he's good looking and that girls find him attractive, but deep down I've never considered him competition when we meet a group of women.

So...

Is being short a dealbreaker?
At what height would you consider a man unattractive?
Would you put them in the same category as men that are very fat or unattractive in some other way?

ReallyHard
Posted: Saturday, March 27, 2010 4:37:50 PM

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Dancing_Doll
Posted: Saturday, March 27, 2010 5:07:21 PM

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I'm sure some people might blast me for this, but yes, height is a deal-breaker for me. And yes, I'm aware this is a superficial quality, and there are many wonderful, bright, exciting short men out in the universe.

But there are certain things we are attracted to, and certain things we aren't.

I'm 5'5, and I do like to wear heels sometimes. I like to be with a man where I feel petite enough that he can pick me up and throw me onto the bed, and where I feel enveloped by him when I'm in his arms. Its just my personal preference.

I've also noticed that taller guys (even if they aren't traditionally attractive) will always get more attention from women just based on height alone. A tall man really stands out in a sea of shorter men at a bar, and he will definitely get first choice when it comes to 'picking up'. Have seen it a million times.

90% of my girlfriends feel exactly the same way. We do talk about height as a measure of attractiveness quite regularly...

I blame Manolo and Louboutin for starting the mega-stiletto trend for women who instantly end up 4 inches taller in their heels... LOL


DamonX
Posted: Saturday, March 27, 2010 5:27:56 PM

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Quote:
I'm sure some people might blast me for this, but yes, height is a deal-breaker for me. And yes, I'm aware this is a superficial quality, and there are many wonderful, bright, exciting short men out in the universe.

But there are certain things we are attracted to, and certain things we aren't.



Exactly. I don't like the term "superficial." I think some people forget that attraction is not a choice.
icecreamcandy
Posted: Saturday, March 27, 2010 5:40:01 PM

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I am about 5'4 and i have to say i wouldn't go out with anyone shorter than me, but thats just my preference....

flower

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LusciousLola
Posted: Saturday, March 27, 2010 5:44:24 PM

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While I do LOVE a tall man, it is not a deal breaker. It is one of many attributes. When I was a teen I always said as long as he was taller than me thats good enough. Not so anymore. I'm a mere 5'4". I want a man that could carry me out of a burning building (I also hope that would never have to be put to the test). I do however, encounter many short men (often shorter than myself) on a day to day basis. Generally they are married, often to women taller than them. I know of one in particular that was married 3 times, always to a woman several inches taller than him.
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Saturday, March 27, 2010 5:48:55 PM

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I forgot to mention that there is something to be said about the natural aesthetic of seeing a man that is taller than his female counterpart.

When I am performing a duet in dance, it is always a consideration that I am partnered by a man that is at least slightly taller than I am... not just for practicalities of the male dancer being able to do lifts with the female, but also because the traditionally preferred aesthetic on stage is a larger male and a more petite female.

It can be a limiting factor for any female dancer over the height of 5'4"...


DamonX
Posted: Saturday, March 27, 2010 6:05:09 PM

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LusciousLola wrote:
While I do LOVE a tall man, it is not a deal breaker. It is one of many attributes. When I was a teen I always said as long as he was taller than me thats good enough. Not so anymore. I'm a mere 5'4". I want a man that could carry me out of a burning building (I also hope that would never have to be put to the test). I do however, encounter many short men (often shorter than myself) on a day to day basis. Generally they are married, often to women taller than them. I know of one in particular that was married 3 times, always to a woman several inches taller than him.


But were the women attractive? Odds are they were not. Remember that for men, a woman's height doesn't translate into attactiveness like it seems to for women. Of course its possible for anyone to get married. But are they settling? Or ending up with someone that they truly want to be with.
LadyX
Posted: Saturday, March 27, 2010 7:10:45 PM

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ReallyHard wrote:
happy1 ... I'm 5'7"


I'm 5'2", wanna go out? lol.

I feel the same a every other girl thats answered. I want my man to be taller than me, and in my case by more than a few inches too. Just like Dancing Doll I like knowing that I can be picked up, turned around, thrown around easy. It's a turn on, baby.

Guest
Posted: Sunday, March 28, 2010 11:06:24 AM

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I think it can be said that women in general prefer tall men, but are not adverse to short men. Take a look at Hollywood heartthrobs like Johnny Depp (5'11"), Brad Pitt(said to be 5'11", but I don't believe it), Mel Gibson(5'9")George Clooney(5'11") Tobey Maguire(5'8"), Matt Damon(5'10"), Hugh Grant(5'11"), Mark Wahlberg(5'7"-5'8"). Of course there are taller heartthrobs as well, but not as many. Leading men in movies anymore don't tend to be tall, in years gone by when a leading man was short, they would have him walk on a platform next to the leading lady or have her walk in a trench so that he appeared taller.

My wife prefers taller men, she said I just made the cut at 5'11"-6' hello1 That's all I care about laughing6
HannahBirdy
Posted: Sunday, March 28, 2010 4:09:54 PM

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I'm personally five, two myself... So I'm fairly short anyway. I have noticed that I've only ever dated taller men, but that's because I'm so short that it's hard not to be taller than me. laughing6

However, I don't find 'short' men a turn off, I will admit, I find taller men more attractive, I think... But I wouldn't reject someone just for being short. They tend to be more cute... However since I'm five two, I'd feel bizzarely awkward with a bloke shorter than me (probably would if I was taller too) so I can't say if it'd last...
DamonX
Posted: Sunday, March 28, 2010 4:33:16 PM

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freefallin1309 wrote:
I think it can be said that women in general prefer tall men, but are not adverse to short men. Take a look at Hollywood heartthrobs like Johnny Depp (5'11"), Brad Pitt(said to be 5'11", but I don't believe it), Mel Gibson(5'9")George Clooney(5'11") Tobey Maguire(5'8"), Matt Damon(5'10"), Hugh Grant(5'11"), Mark Wahlberg(5'7"-5'8"). Of course there are taller heartthrobs as well, but not as many. Leading men in movies anymore don't tend to be tall, in years gone by when a leading man was short, they would have him walk on a platform next to the leading lady or have her walk in a trench so that he appeared taller.

My wife prefers taller men, she said I just made the cut at 5'11"-6' hello1 That's all I care about laughing6


Do you consider those men short? They're all around average height.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, March 28, 2010 4:50:28 PM

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No, but they're not tall either. My point was that women love men of all heights it seems ... they may prefer tall, but by looking at Hollywood hunks, they're average or slightly short.
DamonX
Posted: Sunday, March 28, 2010 7:07:52 PM

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freefallin1309 wrote:
No, but they're not tall either. My point was that women love men of all heights it seems ... they may prefer tall, but by looking at Hollywood hunks, they're average or slightly short.



I was referring more to men in the 5'3-5'6 range. I don't think many women would turn down a guy because he was "only" 5'11. But being less than 5 1/2 feet tall seems to put guys in the same category as men that are very fat or ugly. I don't believe that the height of hollywood actors has any relation to this discussion.
sassycheergirl
Posted: Sunday, March 28, 2010 10:26:52 PM

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I'm 4'10'' barefoot and 4'11'' with shoes, but to me height dont really matter, but i like the guy to be taller then me. And thats not hard to do!


*smiles, hugs, and lollipops*



Sassy
Guest
Posted: Monday, March 29, 2010 3:36:56 AM

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I've broken up with guys who were great...we had good chemistry...but they were either my height 5' 5" or shorter...I've always dated taller men...I love taller men...
ducky69
Posted: Monday, March 29, 2010 4:47:30 AM

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Obviously no hope then for a little Ducky sad1

Rubber Ducky your the one, you make my life so much fun
Guest
Posted: Monday, March 29, 2010 7:34:15 AM

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ducky69 wrote:
Obviously no hope then for a little Ducky sad1


Ahhh! Don't be sad, Ducky, anyone with enough self-confidence to wear a lampshade on his head is bound to attract attention from women at a party!
Guest
Posted: Monday, March 29, 2010 9:47:51 AM

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DamonX wrote:

I was referring more to men in the 5'3-5'6 range. I don't think many women would turn down a guy because he was "only" 5'11. But being less than 5 1/2 feet tall seems to put guys in the same category as men that are very fat or ugly. I don't believe that the height of hollywood actors has any relation to this discussion.


Actually it does, I was explaining how not being tall, meaning over average height, had no bearing on how women seem to nearly faint at the mention of these guys. That you don't have to be tall to be wanted. Wasn't the Thread called "How important is a man's height?"? That's pretty general to me, it doesn't scream anything about "Do short men turn women off?" I was giving you an idea to tell your friend to make him feel better, that Hollywood heartthrobs that are not tall are still actively sought, that though they are not "tall" (once again reffering to above average height), they still are appealing to women. Celebrities are the only real-world examples I can use, given I doubt you, me, and your friend don't know the same people that I could tell you about Joe down the street who is 5'5" and has a different woman on each arm every night when he comes home.
LadyX
Posted: Monday, March 29, 2010 9:51:00 AM

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freefallin1309 wrote:
No, but they're not tall either. My point was that women love men of all heights it seems ... they may prefer tall, but by looking at Hollywood hunks, they're average or slightly short.


I heard that they make a big effort to make the shorter actors look tall though so even in hollywood they try to make the actors look tall even if they are not.

Guest
Posted: Monday, March 29, 2010 9:56:56 AM

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They used to, though not sure they do that as much. Usually long shots when the two are side by side and they make her wear flat shoes. Its not as much of a big deal as it used to be, say, back in the 30's and 40's.
LadyX
Posted: Monday, March 29, 2010 10:05:23 AM

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freefallin1309 wrote:
They used to, though not sure they do that as much. Usually long shots when the two are side by side and they make her wear flat shoes. Its not as much of a big deal as it used to be, say, back in the 30's and 40's.


oh ok. I heard something about the guy from 24 freaking the f__k out when they forgot to give him a step to stand on when he walked up to a podium.

As for me I dont think it should be that big a deal unless the whole point is to make them a sex symbol.
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Monday, March 29, 2010 10:52:28 AM

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LadyX wrote:
freefallin1309 wrote:
They used to, though not sure they do that as much. Usually long shots when the two are side by side and they make her wear flat shoes. Its not as much of a big deal as it used to be, say, back in the 30's and 40's.


oh ok. I heard something about the guy from 24 freaking the f__k out when they forgot to give him a step to stand on when he walked up to a podium.

As for me I dont think it should be that big a deal unless the whole point is to make them a sex symbol.



Awww... I have hung out with Kiefer from 24 before, and he is an absolute sweetheart... and around 5'8" so definitely a bit on the shorter side. I think most Hollywood guys (and guys in general) tend to add around 2-3 inches onto their height when reporting it.

I should also say that its impossible to compare the "short Hollywood guy" to the "short average-joe". The shorter Hollywood guys as well as the shorter rich guys are all going to do well with the ladies because of their success/fame. This is just a fact of life.

Its the shorter average guys that are more at a disadvantage. But they can always try to win people over with sense of humor, clever wit, or just date a shorter girl (or the tall girls that don't mind). It's not that big of a deal. We all have things we'd like to change/improve when it comes to our attractiveness to the opposite sex.


Guest
Posted: Monday, March 29, 2010 11:08:30 AM

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Oh, I forgot Kiefer Sutherland at 5'9", thanks for reminding me icon_smile He is Jack Bauer after all, he and the Chuck Norris jokes vie for Who's the Toughest all the time. Christian Bale also goes nuts onset, but I think its just an ego thing in either case.
DamonX
Posted: Monday, March 29, 2010 6:24:05 PM

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Quote:
Actually it does, I was explaining how not being tall, meaning over average height, had no bearing on how women seem to nearly faint at the mention of these guys. That you don't have to be tall to be wanted. Wasn't the Thread called "How important is a man's height?"? That's pretty general to me, it doesn't scream anything about "Do short men turn women off?" I was giving you an idea to tell your friend to make him feel better, that Hollywood heartthrobs that are not tall are still actively sought, that though they are not "tall" (once again reffering to above average height), they still are appealing to women. Celebrities are the only real-world examples I can use, given I doubt you, me, and your friend don't know the same people that I could tell you about Joe down the street who is 5'5" and has a different woman on each arm every night when he comes home.


I didn't mean to offend you freefallin. I think we can all agree that women have no problem with 5'11 famous actors.
Bunny12
Posted: Monday, March 29, 2010 6:31:40 PM

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I can totally believe short guys are discriminated against for years it had totally pissed me off that every really tall guy I see is with a really short woman. I'm talking guys 6'2"+ always with girls 5'5'- I'm 5'11" and have always ended up with men my same height or slightly shorter. A guy in a club asked me to dance once and when he stood up I was about a foot taller than him. I was wearing 3" heels at the time so that made me 6'2" and he must have been your friends size Damon. My tits were right in his face and we got plenty of stairs but I'm never one to give a fuck what anybody thinks and danced with him anyway. He even said when he stood up and I saw how short he was it was OK if I didn't want to dance. I just smiled, grabbed his hand and said come on short stuff we're dancing and gave him some nice cleavage in the face! lol This was in the late 80's and I happened to be wearing a tube top. Hope your buddy finds a nice girl and starts going out with you and the guys again that's sad.

Bunny12


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FantasyFiction
Posted: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 2:07:38 PM

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I'm 5'4, and I have found it very difficult to date some women because they are looking for someone taller. Boo hoo!

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Guest
Posted: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 2:35:08 PM

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Quote:
It just seems that if a guy is short, he is automatically viewed as less attractive, in the same way that an overweight man would be. If a guy is tall and ugly, then he's obviously less attractive. But a short guy will still be viewed as unattractive even if his other features are considered "good looking".


That is so not true. You must have a low opinion of women as you assume the worse in what you perceive as "all"women. Or you're just hanging around with the wrong ones. Short men are not viewed as "unattractive" just because you're short. As long as a man doesn't have the "Napoleon Syndrome" most woman that are secure in themselves don't care about height. It boils down to chemistry anyway. Not if one partner looks down on another one.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 2:40:22 PM

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Quote:
I think a lot of men would feel uncomfortable dating a taller girl because it looks kind of comical to other people. But being tall doesn't decrease a woman's attractiveness


Again, you speak for all men? It's looks comical to who? You?

If you say women don't lose attractiveness because they're tall, then by what basis would make you conclude that men get uglier with less height? I think you and your "friend" should work on your personality instead of being so concerned with your heights.
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 3:03:19 PM

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I am pretty active on the social scene in the city I live in, and I have to stick up for DamonX and say that he’s pretty accurate in terms of general opinion and outlook. Women prefer men who are taller than they are. I can’t think of any girl that would say she prefers to date a man shorter than her. That’s not to say that some women wouldn’t consider a shorter guy if there was enough connection/chemistry. But all Damon is saying is that a shorter man has to work harder than a taller one when it comes to the dating scene.

In a perfect world, neither height nor looks should matter at all, but in the real world, they do. It shouldn’t be seen as a reflection of being superficial. This is just the way things are. Even in the animal kingdom, there is preferred choice based on the size of the male animal’s horns, or the size/bulk of an alpha male. Those animals get their choice of the females… its just the ingrained nature of mating and dating.

That’s not to say that people can never get beyond their physical preferences in a mate, but in general, some people are at a disadvantage when it comes to what it generally seen as a preferred trait in the opposite sex.

That goes for women as well in terms of the physical traits that are most valued in them (eg. big breasts, small waist, shapely legs etc).



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