Let's say that you're out at a bar, and you see a girl that you think you might be interested in, and she is there with a group of her girlfriends.
How much do you judge a girl based on the friends she keeps? (eg. whether the friends look high maintenance, or seem to be party-girls, or promiscuous, or conservative, or intellectual/business-women, or gold-diggers etc.)
Do you assume she is similar to her friends, or do you assume she is a unique individual no matter who she chooses to surround herself with? Does it affect your likelihood of approaching her?
I would think yes, it would matter a bit. Everyone gets a first impression, and one thing that comes to mind besides how you look and hold yourself, is who you associate yourself with. If you're the "businesswoman" and are hanging around with a group that appears to be "promiscuous" ... I would wonder why an intelligent appearing and conservative lady like yourself got hooked up with a group of whores, or gold diggers, or insert clique here.
It wouldn't matter to me what her friends were like. The more people she has around her though, the harder it is to approach. I feel a little awkward approaching a girl if she's surrounded by people.
It also depends if there are males in her group. They will often get a bit protective if strange guys start hitting on the girls that they are with.
Females in packs are harder to approach. But if I like her friends, I can only assume I'll like her. My wife was a member of "The Gang of Four". I liked them all, but she was the one I was attracted to. We all hung out after a time, but she was the one I stayed up with talking to.
For me its no. You never should judge a person without getting to know them first. I guess this is where the age old expression " Never judge a book buy it cover" comes from.
absolutely, a girl's friends are almost assuredly like the girl herself, otherwise they wouldn't be friends
Like minds stick together....If only to be accepted....
Of course we do. Men and women both judge by what they see. But there's a difference between judging a situation and passing judgement on a person as a whole. If a guy sees a girl in jeans and casual shirt and Nikes drinking some beer with other similarly dressed women, he will think she cool, fun, down to earth, and if he approaches her he will have a something in mind on how to break the ice. Same woman another night, in a flirty, cleavage baring, short dress drinking martinis with similarly dressed women will get a completely different reaction from the guys in the room. That night she will get an ice breaker not at all similar to the first night. In neither situation would I judge her character but there will be some sort of analysis of the situation.
Likewise if a woman were to see a man in cowboy boots and Wrangler jeans and cowboy hat.. would she "judge" him differently than she would if he wore different jeans, sweater, casual footwear... whatever? Of course.
We all make assumptions on what we see.... you may see a person and think he/she isn't your type and never give it a chance. And just maybe that person is EXACTLY your type. Tis how it goes...
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates I personally try not to judge people before I know them. "You can't judge a book by it's cover" I don't think you can judge a person by what friends they are with either, at least not accurately.
A wise man speaks because he has something to say, a fool speaks because he has to say something. - unknown
To some degree, yes, just like I would in a non-dating situation. After all, people choose their friends.
I wouldn't make it a hard rule though, the group may be a group from work etc. If she were interesting enough I'd certainly be open to letting her change my mind.
i look at them as an individual before setting judgement on them. but if she cant stand on her own two feet and consistantly runs back and fourth between her girlfriends i will judge her by her friends because clearly theyve got the same motives and ideas especially if she consistantly consulting them. i suppose again itd all depend on the night too.
depends if she is a leader in the group or just a follower of the group. To me the leader sets the mood of the group and the others just want to be that way and if there is no leader or followers then if i like one i would like them all. so i get a date and some cool lady friends the chat with also perfect
If you cant make yourself happy. Who can you make happy
No I'll talk to her and she how she is. High maintaine isn't a problem, personality is.
Well that's just my opinion, sorry if you don't like.
BigDaddyRich
Judge a girl by the company she keeps? You must be kidding. We judge her by wether she has a nice pair of breasts. Her friends don't enter the equation!
If she has nice tits, her friends could support Man Utd for all I care.
Depends on if I reall want to have a go. If I'm at a bar to just hang out and a girl is with friends that look high maintenance, I'll just let it go. But if I'm there to actually do something, I'll take a shot.
"So how does it feel to know that someones kid in the heart of America
Has blood on their hands, fighting to defend your rights
So you can maintain the lifestyle that insults this family's existence"
Security is mere illusion; yet in that illusion lies security.
This can go either way, that is, we can say "don't judge a book by its cover," but we also say "birds of a feather flock together." So it is complicated.
But I don't know if we can decide without making some judgement in real life. That's when all kinds of additional questions would have to be asked to see if you can get a better sense for who she is. Sometimes she may not be so sure herself. But assuming she is, I would ask myself, does she look like someone worth taking a risk on? If you think she is, then approach her and try to get her away form the groups and dance, or talk, or just try to get to know her for who she is.
There are a lot of "gems in the rough" as they saying goes out there. If it turns out she is like her friends, and that is something you don't like, then just chalk her up to experience.
Seeing as how most people surround themselves with like minded people I would assume she was like her friends.... but does that mean I wouldn't approach her if I was interested.... No way Jose. Always take the aggressive...... what's the worse that can happen she tell's you to get lost? Like that's never happened before lol nothing venture'd nothing gained!
