29 Sep 2015 14:18
I love him more than he loves me. I'll always be second best, always. I do everything I can to help and be there for him but he doesn't have the time or the energy to be there for me in the same way, I've always known this was the case but it hurts more and more every time I'm reminded of it.
I feel so alone. All I want is for him to hold me and tell me he loves me but he can't. That hurts most of all.
10 Apr 2015 14:55
There’s a dull ache in my heart every time we say goodbye, each time we have to go our separate ways and I know that’s it until the next day. There’s excitement and hope every time I know I can see you, have some more time with you, each time we go back into our little bubble where it’s just the two of us. And every time the bubble bursts and we go our separate ways it hurts just a little more. The ache gets deeper and it lasts longer.
The more I love you, the more it hurts. The closer we get the harder it is to say goodbye.
All I want is to be with someone who loves me and who I love, to wake up with them, go to sleep with them, watch the telly with them, cook a meal together or for each other, to build and share a life together. All I want is you but that will never happen, not really, each time I’m reminded of that it chips away another piece of me. I don’t tell you this because you’ve got enough going on and don’t need this to worry about as well.
22 Nov 2014 05:28
I'm back online
16 Nov 2014 04:53
I've been without internet for nearly two weeks and it's going to be at least another fortnight before it's fixed!
25 Jul 2014 14:12
Finally getting settled in the house and things are kicking off at work I need to find another job.
07 Jul 2014 01:55
Everything went through and now I'm a home owner! Can't wait until Wednesday when the mattress is being delivered
29 Jun 2014 09:46
Everyone cross your fingers! I should be completing the purchase of my new home on Friday 4th July!
The sky man, mattress and other assorted goodies are arriving 9th July - I'm hopeful for things going ahead on the 4th but common sense prevails
26 Apr 2014 11:37
Who'd have thought just a couple of years ago that I'd be wishing away the day so I could get home to the boy so we can have a parmo and relax together
09 Apr 2014 10:49
Dilemma. The house I want, the only house I would consider buying that is currently on the market, may not be worth the money I would have to pay for it even though it would still be affordable. The need to buy is becoming more pressing as my current living situation becomes increasingly unbearable.
Do I buy the overpriced house or stay put, feeling more and more uncomfortable and less able to call that house home, until something else comes along?
08 Apr 2014 03:04
You know you've met the one when there are no doubts in your mind, no worries, no questions, instead there are lots of smiles, laughs and you feel happy and content.
Life is amazing and even when things are tough again, it'll be easier to deal with because he'll be there holding my hand
15 Mar 2014 18:22
FC's Saturday - picked a fight via email and won a small victory; the boy turned up at my work to surprise me lovely surprise and haven't stopped smiling since, we made eyes at each other for about an hour before he had to leave; finally got the money back that I was owed, making the morning's small victory a total win.
09 Mar 2014 16:55
That amazing feeling when you're falling in love
02 Mar 2014 13:50
He held me and my heart broke. The moment his arms wrapped around me, I was exactly where I needed to be, nothing existed outside of him and I was perfectly calm. I had to fight the tears back, how could I have been so stupid and disappoint him? But that didn’t matter right now, we were together, for however long we had, we were together. That was part of the problem; it would never be long enough. This perfect moment would have to end.
18 Feb 2014 08:23
I made the mistake of glancing up at his face, I quickly turned away but it was too late. Our eyes had locked briefly, my heart was racing and my body was responding even more than it had been. My breathing became rapid and shaky and he was moving towards me. My eyes began to fill with tears that I fought back as best I could, my body trembling. Then he was in front of me, he didn’t ask me to look at him, he just wrapped his arms around me, rested his cheek on my hair and breathed me in.
My trembling stopped, my eyes dried, my breathing calmed and I returned his embrace.
I was home.
09 Jan 2014 16:15
Apparently, wanting to meet someone I connect with and I'm attracted to, who feels that connection and is attracted me too, means I'm being too picky.
You're damn right I'm picky. I refuse to settle.
04 Jan 2014 16:22
I shuddered in response.
I shook my head, all but whispering the word no. Eyes closing, body forgetting about everything outside of him.
‘Yes.’ It was more of a growl and I felt it go through me. My breathing became more rapid and I desperately tried to remember why I’d been walking away. Before I could remember, he kissed me. I tried to fight him, to tell him no but as his lips continued to caress mine, I melted into him.
04 Jan 2014 15:57
I'd had enough. As I tried to walk away he grabbed my wrist, as I twisted to escape his grasp he spun me until my back was against the wall, he quickly took hold of my other wrist lifting them above my head. He used one large hand to pin them there, freeing the other. I glared at him and cursed myself as my breath caught, his eyes were locked on mine and I was losing myself in his green eyes.
There was a hint of a smile on his face as he used his spare hand to stroke my cheek. I closed my eyes and tried to turn away but he hooked his thumb under my chin and made me face him.
'Look at me.' His voice was barely above a whisper and I responded immediately, sighing as I did. I hated him having this power over me. This time I didn't make the mistake of looking him in the eyes.
'Claire?' It was a taunt.
'What.' I snapped. He rested his forehead on mine, I could feel his breath on my lips. His hand worked it's way down from my cheek to my throat, which he gave a gentle squeeze.
02 Jan 2014 14:57
It's time to take some time out to focus on me and my wants and needs. Hopefully, I'll manage to write something, I have so many ideas and really should get started!
29 Dec 2013 15:36
I could just do with a really big hug
21 Dec 2013 10:21
I want a big strong man to come and look after me, then, when I'm all better, fuck me until I can't remember my name
20 Dec 2013 04:22
Couldn't sleep properly, my face hurts, my head is pounding, chesty cough, swollen glands and I'm exhausted.
15 Dec 2013 16:03
All I want is to curl up on the sofa with a big, strong man, unfortunately, all the ones I've met recently are dicks!
14 Dec 2013 13:01
It's been a while since I explored the submissive side of myself, the last guy hurt me so badly I could barely imagine ever thinking about submitting to anyone again.
Last night I was with someone who held onto my throat so tightly I couldn't breathe, my nipples were pinched so hard they are still tender, my hair pulled so hard my head is a little tender in places, I was given orders which I followed, I thanked him for letting me suck his cock and I swallowed his spit like a good girl.
I loved every single second.
05 Dec 2013 15:15
Boy trouble. I don't do well with silence, I hate feeling ignored and, ultimately, it gets old and boring fast.
On the plus side, my timing still sucks - some things never change!
13 Sep 2013 01:24
Oh. My. Beautiful, 6' 2, Scottish man, laughing so much you snort, never running out of things to talk about, singing together in the car, amazing cuddles and cumming so hard I stopped breathing.
01 Aug 2013 13:00
31 Jul 2013 23:02
That moment when you're suddenly overwhelmed by the scent of him, it may have been hours since you were last together but he's in your hair and on your skin and he's all you can smell.
30 Jul 2013 08:09
Dear man from dating site, yes, I'm aware that in life you'll never find all the answers and more often than not will be left with more questions but don't say that and then try to flirt with me. If you tell me that the only thing in life that can be guaranteed is the need to have fun then don't be surprised when my response is, 'actually, the only things guaranteed in life are taxes and death.
Dear self, it's not necessary to be such a bitch all the time.
30 Jul 2013 07:17
No night out tonight probably for the best though, I'm in desperate need for an early night