About frenchtoastman


A friendly, polite Southern gentleman, uprooted from his home turf and replanted in California. Tall, thin, with thick brown hair (now flecked with grey), blue eyes, pale skin, glasses. A snappy dresser on a budget. Big clumsy feet and long, elegant fingers. In a relationship of many years standing, so I'm NOT here to hook up -- just to make friends. Admittedly, I do love to flirt... though my objective is more about being charming than lewd.

By the way, the avatar picture does not happen to be of me, but it IS a clue to my alias... though you'd have to be one seriously oddball hipster to pick up on that.

Relationship Status:
a state of bewilderment, California, United States
Local Time:
22 Sep 2017 04:46
LIKES: Films, books and music... beautiful women of all shades, shapes, heights and sizes... hiking and long, relaxed walks... cake and pie... lesbian erotica... Chinese, Thai and Italian food... libraries and pleasant hours spent in them... afternoon naps... cats and dogs... jigsaw puzzles... the wonders of language... life. Most of all, my wife B., who will always be my reason for living.

DISLIKES: bullies, bigots, misogynists, homophobes, rudeness, moral scolds who can't mind their own damn business, huge corporations (see: bullies), religion as a weapon, capitalism as a weapon, wealth as a weapon, social position as a weapon, political correctness, bad films, bad books, bad music and American Idol.
Favorite Authors:
William Faulkner, Samuel Beckett, Cormac McCarthy, Madison Smartt Bell, Flannery O'Connor, Will Self, Neal Stephenson, P.G. Wodehouse, William Vollman, Mark Twain, Philip K. Dick, Harold Pinter, Margaret Millar, Jean Genet, Georges Perec, Thomas Pynchon, Jorge Luis Borges, Russell Hoban and loads more.
Favorite Movies:
My favorite directors include Ingmar Bergman, Yasujiro Ozu, Jacques Tati, Preston Sturges, Akira Kurosawa, Robert Bresson, Mike Leigh, Fritz Lang, Alfred Hitchcock, Jean-Luc Godard, Douglas Sirk, Andrei Tarkovsky, Sergio Leone, Wes Anderson, Krzysztof Kieslowski, Max Ophuls, Guy Maddin, Federico Fellini, Abbas Kiarostami, Jan Svankmajer, John Cassavetes, Bela Tarr, Rainer Werner Fassbinder and Stanley Kubrick.

(Why yes, I AM a film snob... you got a problem with that!?)
Favorite Music:
John Coltrane, The Stooges, Rolling Stones, Muddy Waters, Charles Mingus, Charlie Rich, Captain Beefheart, Bessie Smith, Soft Machine, Fela Kuti, Lee Dorsey, Miles Davis, The Kinks, Robert Johnson, Ali Akbar Khan, The Raincoats, Louis Jordan, Black Flag, Etta James, Sly & the Family Stone, R. Stevie Moore, Otis Redding, Hank Williams, Al Green, The Minutemen, Blind Willie McTell, Ivor Cutler, Lee "Scratch" Perry, Big Star, Louis Prima, Pere Ubu, Nurse with Wound, Wire, Velvet Underground, The Cramps, John Fahey, This Heat, Betty Carter, James Blood Ulmer and thousands of others. I have too many records.


Date Joined:
12 Jul 2010
Last Visit:
05 Jan 2016 (626 days ago)
Page Viewed:
15,934 times
Days in Chat:
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Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: Post the title most recent song that you listened to
Posted: 02 Oct 2013 00:49

Tav Falco & Panther Burns "Shade Tree Mechanic." (It's an old song from bluesman Z.Z. Hill, but Tav does it mighty nice for a white guy.)

Topic: Curlygirly and Mazza's BIG sandwich!!
Posted: 12 Jul 2013 09:51

Oh, hell. Am I late...? Got held up in traffic -- major tie-up on 680, y'know.

Um... yeah, I just need to know where the fridge is. Gotta get this champagne on ice. Great, thanks.

So, er -- where do we leave our clothes? This bad boy is ready to PAR-TAY!

Topic: Keep them related!
Posted: 14 Feb 2013 23:35

Robert Ryan

Topic: Use My Last Word First - in a 5 word sentence..
Posted: 21 Dec 2012 00:50

Expecting pancakes for breakfast...

Topic: One word
Posted: 21 Dec 2012 00:48


Topic: Where do you get your sexy pics?
Posted: 18 Apr 2012 00:52

Good golly Miss Molly, what a plethora of photo sites you've unearthed, Mistress Katland! My hat is officially doffed in honor of your mad skills. Or as my Zen master might put it, "Your lesbian erotica fu is indeed powerful." I'll be checking out some of these immediately, if not sooner.

Me, I only discovered the Joy of Tumblr a few months ago, but the pull of these photo archives is irresistible... if the internet is an ocean, such sites are like a riptide dragging innocent souls into a smutty grave. (Davy Boner's Locker?) Unlike in the ocean, we are smiling as we go down for the third time.

Truly, this is a golden age for connoisseurs of erotica. When I was a youngun, we had to score our porn at convenience stores, where glossy beaver mags jostled for shelf space with dirty novels like "Lola On the Loose," "His Hot Little Sister," or even "Mom Does the Dog." And since the vast majority of erotica was heterosexually inclined, a devotee of sapphic delights like your humble servant had to make do with whatever meager crumbs of lesbianology he could scare up.

Now we have erotic story sites, photo sites, film clip sites... a veritable landslide of titillation to fill our wicked heads. Thanks, Katland, for adding another ton or two to this sinner's personal avalanche. You will be included in my prayers tonight.

Topic: Precious Things
Posted: 18 Dec 2011 02:06

Wonderfully done, Sprite. It can be brutally hard, trying to make sense of it all in what often seems like a senseless world...

Thank the Fates that there are good souls like you out there making the effort, inspiring the rest of us to do the same.

Topic: Word association game
Posted: 19 Apr 2011 00:50


Topic: Keep them related!
Posted: 19 Apr 2011 00:48

Carlos the Jackal

Topic: What kind of sex would you have with the person above you?
Posted: 19 Apr 2011 00:47

a firm handshake.

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Stories Published By frenchtoastman All Stories »

A Teacher's Discipline, Part Two

Reading Part One before delving into this second chapter is strongly encouraged.) ***** Emily nibbled at Sandy's lower lip as she guided the girl onto her back, gently lowering her body onto the sixteen-year-old's slighter form without breaking their kiss. She fondled the student's bottom, fingers delving between her thighs to lightly brush Sandy's vulva as they kissed, their...

Added 24 Oct 2012 | Category Lesbian | Votes 10 | Avg Score 4.9 | Views 9,510 | 3 Comments

A Teacher's Discipline, Part One

Firmly clutching the strap of her shoulder bag, sixteen-year-old Sandy Ratledge hesitantly made her way down a hallway deep in the heart of Crestwood, the elite private school she attended. The last class of the day had ended fifteen minutes earlier, and this part of the building, where the faculty offices were located, was all but deserted. Sandy halted before one particular door, pausing...

Added 23 Oct 2012 | Category Lesbian | Votes 37 | Avg Score 4.94 | Views 39,854 | 8 Comments

Friends Comments

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Posted: 07 Dec 2016 09:59

Posted: 07 Dec 2016 09:59

I hope that you've been well, Danny

Posted: 07 Dec 2016 09:58

Posted: 22 Oct 2016 21:32

Posted: 18 Oct 2016 07:46

Posted: 14 Sep 2016 22:57

Posted: 13 Jun 2016 09:17

Posted: 27 May 2016 23:54

Posted: 07 Apr 2016 13:24
I miss seeing your beautiful face

Posted: 26 Mar 2016 11:33

love you lots

Posted: 08 Mar 2016 13:20

Posted: 27 Feb 2016 11:40

Posted: 27 Feb 2016 11:39

Posted: 19 Dec 2015 02:35

You're welcome, Danny
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