About frenchtoastman


A friendly, polite Southern gentleman, uprooted from his home turf and replanted in California. Tall, thin, with thick brown hair (now flecked with grey), blue eyes, pale skin, glasses. A snappy dresser on a budget. Big clumsy feet and long, elegant fingers. In a relationship of many years standing, so I'm NOT here to hook up -- just to make friends. Admittedly, I do love to flirt... though my objective is more about being charming than lewd.

By the way, the avatar picture does not happen to be of me, but it IS a clue to my alias... though you'd have to be one seriously oddball hipster to pick up on that.

Relationship Status:
a state of bewilderment, California, United States
Local Time:
18 Jan 2018 17:20
LIKES: Films, books and music... beautiful women of all shades, shapes, heights and sizes... hiking and long, relaxed walks... cake and pie... lesbian erotica... Chinese, Thai and Italian food... libraries and pleasant hours spent in them... afternoon naps... cats and dogs... jigsaw puzzles... the wonders of language... life. Most of all, my wife B., who will always be my reason for living.

DISLIKES: bullies, bigots, misogynists, homophobes, rudeness, moral scolds who can't mind their own damn business, huge corporations (see: bullies), religion as a weapon, capitalism as a weapon, wealth as a weapon, social position as a weapon, political correctness, bad films, bad books, bad music and American Idol.
Favorite Authors:
William Faulkner, Samuel Beckett, Cormac McCarthy, Madison Smartt Bell, Flannery O'Connor, Will Self, Neal Stephenson, P.G. Wodehouse, William Vollman, Mark Twain, Philip K. Dick, Harold Pinter, Margaret Millar, Jean Genet, Georges Perec, Thomas Pynchon, Jorge Luis Borges, Russell Hoban and loads more.
Favorite Movies:
My favorite directors include Ingmar Bergman, Yasujiro Ozu, Jacques Tati, Preston Sturges, Akira Kurosawa, Robert Bresson, Mike Leigh, Fritz Lang, Alfred Hitchcock, Jean-Luc Godard, Douglas Sirk, Andrei Tarkovsky, Sergio Leone, Wes Anderson, Krzysztof Kieslowski, Max Ophuls, Guy Maddin, Federico Fellini, Abbas Kiarostami, Jan Svankmajer, John Cassavetes, Bela Tarr, Rainer Werner Fassbinder and Stanley Kubrick.

(Why yes, I AM a film snob... you got a problem with that!?)
Favorite Music:
John Coltrane, The Stooges, Rolling Stones, Muddy Waters, Charles Mingus, Charlie Rich, Captain Beefheart, Bessie Smith, Soft Machine, Fela Kuti, Lee Dorsey, Miles Davis, The Kinks, Robert Johnson, Ali Akbar Khan, The Raincoats, Louis Jordan, Black Flag, Etta James, Sly & the Family Stone, R. Stevie Moore, Otis Redding, Hank Williams, Al Green, The Minutemen, Blind Willie McTell, Ivor Cutler, Lee "Scratch" Perry, Big Star, Louis Prima, Pere Ubu, Nurse with Wound, Wire, Velvet Underground, The Cramps, John Fahey, This Heat, Betty Carter, James Blood Ulmer and thousands of others. I have too many records.


Date Joined:
12 Jul 2010
Last Visit:
06 Nov 2017 (73 days ago)
Page Viewed:
16,013 times
Days in Chat:
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Topic: Post the title most recent song that you listened to
Posted: 02 Oct 2013 00:49

Tav Falco & Panther Burns "Shade Tree Mechanic." (It's an old song from bluesman Z.Z. Hill, but Tav does it mighty nice for a white guy.)

Topic: Curlygirly and Mazza's BIG sandwich!!
Posted: 12 Jul 2013 09:51

Oh, hell. Am I late...? Got held up in traffic -- major tie-up on 680, y'know.

Um... yeah, I just need to know where the fridge is. Gotta get this champagne on ice. Great, thanks.

So, er -- where do we leave our clothes? This bad boy is ready to PAR-TAY!

Topic: Keep them related!
Posted: 14 Feb 2013 23:35

Robert Ryan

Topic: Use My Last Word First - in a 5 word sentence..
Posted: 21 Dec 2012 00:50

Expecting pancakes for breakfast...

Topic: One word
Posted: 21 Dec 2012 00:48


Topic: Where do you get your sexy pics?
Posted: 18 Apr 2012 00:52

Good golly Miss Molly, what a plethora of photo sites you've unearthed, Mistress Katland! My hat is officially doffed in honor of your mad skills. Or as my Zen master might put it, "Your lesbian erotica fu is indeed powerful." I'll be checking out some of these immediately, if not sooner.

Me, I only discovered the Joy of Tumblr a few months ago, but the pull of these photo archives is irresistible... if the internet is an ocean, such sites are like a riptide dragging innocent souls into a smutty grave. (Davy Boner's Locker?) Unlike in the ocean, we are smiling as we go down for the third time.

Truly, this is a golden age for connoisseurs of erotica. When I was a youngun, we had to score our porn at convenience stores, where glossy beaver mags jostled for shelf space with dirty novels like "Lola On the Loose," "His Hot Little Sister," or even "Mom Does the Dog." And since the vast majority of erotica was heterosexually inclined, a devotee of sapphic delights like your humble servant had to make do with whatever meager crumbs of lesbianology he could scare up.

Now we have erotic story sites, photo sites, film clip sites... a veritable landslide of titillation to fill our wicked heads. Thanks, Katland, for adding another ton or two to this sinner's personal avalanche. You will be included in my prayers tonight.

Topic: Precious Things
Posted: 18 Dec 2011 02:06

Wonderfully done, Sprite. It can be brutally hard, trying to make sense of it all in what often seems like a senseless world...

Thank the Fates that there are good souls like you out there making the effort, inspiring the rest of us to do the same.

Topic: Word association game
Posted: 19 Apr 2011 00:50


Topic: Keep them related!
Posted: 19 Apr 2011 00:48

Carlos the Jackal

Topic: What kind of sex would you have with the person above you?
Posted: 19 Apr 2011 00:47

a firm handshake.

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Stories Published By frenchtoastman All Stories »

Fireflies, Part Two

Hand in hand, we climbed the stairs, grinning like giddy children. Mom led me into her bedroom, switching on a small lamp on the nightstand. Her soft arms twined round my waist, mine round hers. We gazed at one another for a long moment, both of us suddenly shy, unsure of what to do next. "I love you, Mom," I whispered. "Oh... I adore you, my sweet, sweet child," she replied, her eyes...

Added 15 Nov 2015 | Category Incest | Votes 0 | Avg Score 0 | Views 164

Shopping with Mom

Sarah stole a glance at her watch as she turned into the entrance road to Crestwood High School, then grimaced. Ten minutes late. Pulling up to the curb outside the front entrance, she smiled sheepishly at her daughter Cathy, who was seated on the steps. With an amused roll of her eyes, the pretty sixteen-year-old picked up her satchel, bouncing down the stairs to the car. Opening the door...

Added 10 Mar 2015 | Category Incest | Votes 0 | Avg Score 0 | Views 141

In the Sauna

The afternoon was balmy and delightful as sixteen-year-old Jenna strolled home from the bus stop. School was out for the summer, and all was right with the world. The flowery dress she wore fluttered in the light breeze as she hopped up the steps. She unlocked the door and entered. "Mom?" "In here, honey," came her mother's voice. Jenna wandered through the house toward the kitchen,...

Added 16 Feb 2015 | Category Incest | Votes 0 | Avg Score 0 | Views 128

My Daughter's Seduction

My name is Connie. I'm a single mother with a sixteen-year-old daughter named Becky. Her father was some guy I met at a party and foolishly took back to my place when I'd had a few too many. He never even knew the result of our one night stand. With lots of help from my parents, I raised Becky myself. She turned out beautifully, an intelligent, sweet-natured girl with a delicious sense...

Added 16 Feb 2015 | Category Incest | Votes 0 | Avg Score 0 | Views 150


I sipped at my iced tea, watching my mother as she stood at the kitchen counter, deftly chopping vegetables. God, it felt good to be home. I'd just finished a brutal year of college, and looked forward to a relaxing summer with Mom.    You might have heard of my mother, actually, except that I can't tell you her name. She's a fairly successful author of historical novels. She ditched my loser...

Added 08 Feb 2015 | Category Incest | Votes 0 | Avg Score 0 | Views 67

My Dominant Sister

The party turned out to be an utter snoozefest. Crap music, bad wine in paper cups, and not one guy that was worth my time, held in an apartment that smelled like stale potato chips and Axe body wash. So I made up a bullshit excuse about having to get up early to visit my parents the next day and made my escape. All the way home I fumed about how royally I'd been screwed by my so-called...

Added 25 Jan 2015 | Category Incest | Votes 0 | Avg Score 0 | Views 57

Sisters on the Rebound

My name is Polly. Short for Polyhymnia, if you can believe that. I'm nineteen years old. I'm 5'5", and weigh 130 pounds. I have long, jet black hair that falls down to my ass and hazel eyes. I've got a nice round butt and large tits. Let me say that yeah, I'm kinda chubby. I prefer it that way. I like food and I like being who I am -- a shapely, beautiful girl. I may be a few...

Added 16 Dec 2014 | Category Incest | Votes 0 | Avg Score 0 | Views 89

Saying Yes to Love, Part Two

Please read the previous chapter before tackling this... you will enjoy Part Two that much more, I promise. ***** The three women stood quietly for a moment, as if suddenly realizing the enormity of what they were preparing to do. Then Anne unfastened the remaining buttons of her nightgown and shrugged the garment from her shoulders to puddle on the floor. She stood before her...

Added 01 Oct 2014 | Category Incest | Votes 0 | Avg Score 0 | Views 32

A Bath with Cherie

I was luxuriating in a steamy bath, my eyes half-closed as I savored that wonderful, sensuous feeling of complete relaxation. This was the very best time of the day, when I could shut the world away and let my thoughts drift. After awhile I allowed a hand to casually slip between my thighs, seeking out the tingling center of my cunt. The tub was carved from a large blue-white block of...

Added 12 Mar 2014 | Category Incest | Votes 0 | Avg Score 0 | Views 42

Saying Yes to Love, Part One

Sally Stratton collapsed into the couch, her younger sister Ellie falling into a nearby chair. Both women sighed contentedly, then Sally reached for the bottle of Cabernet she'd left on the end table. Cautiously extracting the cork with her fingers, she filled a glass with wine, pausing to savor the bouquet before taking her first leisurely sip. "Hey, can I have some of that?" asked Ellie. ...

Added 02 Jan 2014 | Category Incest | Votes 0 | Avg Score 0 | Views 52

Friends Comments

24 Jul 2014 18:47
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.
01 Jan 2014 00:20
Happy Halloween, Danny!

31 Oct 2013 11:07
03 Oct 2013 14:13
Love when you stop in for a visit, Danny! xoxo

26 Sep 2013 17:47
oops I'm still working on my sexy walk!
30 Aug 2013 07:51
Look at that; you're famous. Well, by Lush standards...

27 Jul 2013 05:41
Thanks, but I dont want to be in debt. Heres my share
31 May 2013 15:47
Sweet Danny, happy we're friends. Look me up sometime. Tina -- xoxo
31 May 2013 08:07
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17 May 2013 15:38

16 May 2013 13:38
Toasty Thanks for the birthday wishes, misses you terribly. We need to send more emails, more often!
15 Feb 2013 12:42

Hope your Valentine's Day is a sweet one! Great seeing you around the Hood!
14 Feb 2013 06:55

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope it's filled with delightful surprises!!

13 Feb 2013 17:09

Ready for all the Christmas fun?
20 Dec 2012 18:03

Hope you've been well. xoxo
26 Nov 2012 17:23
02 Sep 2012 13:54
I hope you have a wonderful weekend
26 Aug 2012 15:29
17 Aug 2012 18:21
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.
30 Dec 2011 16:57
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