Humor Stories

7

ricinatl

My Journal

Can't figure my wife out so I'm keeping a Journal

Journal Entry: November 14, 2014 Today I again asked my wife for sex and as usual she made up some lame excuse. It's going on two months now and my masturbating is becoming more regular. Journal Entry: November 19, 2014 I may have had a bit of a break through. I complained about the lack of sex and she promised to be more attentive. I think this week end will be really good. Journal...Read On

2

vote

MaxwellSpanx2015

King Arthur in the Adventures of Cameltoe (Part 2)

Arthur continues his hunt for Guinievere's lover. In the meantime, Merlin visits a brothel.

Chapter5 Arthur’s Story After dinner I walked the gardens to help digest my food. Despite the fine smells my head was elsewhere. My mind was a filled court politics. Everyone was at each other’s throats. The problems were building for me now. On top of ruling my kingdom, I had Guinevere heartbroken after being found having an affair, now I had my trusted knight telling me to sack...Read On

5

vote

MaxwellSpanx2015

King Arthur in the Adventures of Cameltoe (Part 1)

Everybody wants a piece of Guinevere

Chapter1 Arthur’s Story Guinevere, my love, my soul mate... My absolute pain in the arse. They say behind every great man there is an even greater woman... Yup, whoever said that was obviously in his wife’s bad book. I mean, I’m never out of Guinevere’s bad book. She may as well be writing a fucking novel. It must have a contents page that reads like a parts manual for one of those...Read On

16

vote

oz99

First Time Disaster

Jason runs into complications he never expected.

So throughout his college days, Jason Smith tried like hell, but was totally unsuccessful in losing his most embarrassing character trait. He graduated with an impressive degree from a major university. The university only admitted perhaps seven percent of all applicants and had a significant flunk out rate, so being successful in attaining a Bachelors degree from this institution was in...Read On

8

vote

Robert0909

Chocolate Laughter

Things that can go wrong

We had met at a seminar the month before, and had been messaging and chatting since. She was 38, married with two teenage kids, starting to rebuild her career, having taken a break. I could see she was a go-getter, fiercely intelligent, and going to be successful. If I had vacancies in my company, I would have head hunted her. Instead, here we were on another course (long booked ahead),...Read On

0

vote

LeanAngle

The Piece Treaty 4th Gear

The Bear trap morphs into a humorous departure

Cyn was not the dumb blonde she portrayed when she was recruiting lovers. She earned masters degrees from two universities in business and accounting. Cyn’s intellect was only matched by her sexual appetite. Dave was merely a high school graduate who attended a local trade school for two years. After a sort stint in the military, Dave did fabrication work for contractors who needed an on...Read On

Added: 11 Nov 2014 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 0 | Words: 2,488 | Tags: humorous seduction sex instructions swing toy bear repellent

–

Master_Jonathan

The Wham Bam Theory

Two university professors discover a whole new field of study - each other!

Andrew sat in the university cafeteria eating his lunch alone. He always took his lunch at the same time and at the same table. He always had the same lunch too - a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (light on the jelly) with the crusts cut off, a small glass of milk, and four Oreo Doublestuff cookies. Andrew liked things to stay the same... he hated change and anything that was new or...Read On

Added: 03 Nov 2014 | Category: Humor | Words: 4,091 | Tags: university first time parody | 9 Comments

1

vote

LeanAngle

The Piece Treaty 3rd Gear

So you're here to fuck my wife. Hope you took your vitamins.

The Piece Treaty 3 rd Gear Dave & Cyndee gave Silvia Ferris a sex life when they accidentally hooked her up with a long lost lover. Paraphrasing an old cliché goes: the best laid plans of vice by men could get someone laid once again. Sometimes you do a good deed even if it is unintentional. After a couple nights Silvia’s amorous howling quieted down, Dave was back to his hobbies and Cyn...Read On

15

vote

The_Great_Destroyer

Sex On A Plane

Let's just say, my tray table and seat-back were in the upright position.

The "mile high club" is kind of a misnomer. The average cruising altitude of an airplane is 35,000 feet. Calling it the "mile high club" is really understating the deed. The Six Mile High Club. Now that's more like it. It takes a lot of work to pull off successful mid-air copulation: Planning, skill, grace, cunning, and most of all: discreteness. Unfortunately, I have none of these...Read On

1

vote

LeanAngle

The Piece Treaty 2nd gear

If you chew you better spit before you read this.

The Piece Treaty 2 nd Gear We pick up the story of Dave and Cyndee (Cyn) and their sexual adventures in a new suburban housing development. Dave is half Native American, one quarter French-German and three quarters crazy. Dave loves Cyn, likes sex, guns, country music, pickup trucks and redneck hobbies. Cyn is "a turn around & look at that would ya " blonde who loves Dave and loves...Read On

2

vote

LeanAngle

The Piece Treaty

Not something for everyone nor everything for someone

Some sounds command attention and cause everyone within earshot to stop what they are doing to respond to the sound. Truck and rail air horns are classic examples which do not cause undue stress if one is not parked on the tracks. Unexpected sounds are often extremely stressful. Such was the loud “schick-schick” sound of the pump shotgun which abruptly destroyed the mood in the...Read On

8

vote

Adagio

Willacoochee Chicken

I, Cecile Dedolt, doff of many hats. You might recall that at one time a hosel hole driller of croquette mallards, often being reminded that it was croquet mallets. What do they know? A hosel is the socket or hole in the head of a mallard. Mallard sightings, of which can be seen in early spring on lawns with wicket widgets of nine. Moving to Willacoochee, Georgia after breaking the neck on...Read On

6

vote

Adagio

Sayonara Elysian Fields, Hello Hortense

this is 100% true, except that the hurdy-gurdy crank was actually an old automobile one

When we last spoke, if you remember...I talked about the Elysian Fields of Rome. A town situated in Northwest Georgia. I, Cecile Dedbolt, had just graduated from Ivy Tech Vocational School & Laundromat with a cum laude in hosel drilling. It was a toss up on who could cum loudest, me or my girlfriend Zelda. Mom had told me that the only way in life to get head, was to learn a trade and...Read On

5

vote

Adagio

There Is Nothing To Be seen

Oscar Wilde said it best. “After the first glass of absinthe you see things as you wish they were. After the second you see them as they are not. Finally you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world. I mean disassociated. Take a top hat. You think you see it as it really is. But you don’t because you associate it with other things and ideas. If you...Read On

46

vote

Mysteria27

A bored housewife's amusing tale

Funny thing that happened one day

Life was a bit mundane for Tracy. She was married for about thirteen years. She was a wife, mother, daughter, friend, sister. But she felt very alone. Things were okay with her marriage. They had great sex, but did struggle connecting emotionally. This frustrated Tracy very much. Her husband was an introvert and she was more social. Then one day she went looking for something a...Read On

16

vote

Banes1

A Run in With The Law

Two college students want to get in touch with nature and get in touch with the law, instead.

Randy and I have been dating for several months. Nearing the end of our college semester, Randy's parents took an impromptu trip out of town. With the house, and the weekend, free, we wasted no time getting together. Passion rises, as do other things, but then the lights from a car in the driveway streak through the Venetian blinds. With only a minute to spare, Randy and I gather our clothing...Read On

5

vote

badboy909

Mr. Spanky Goes to Heaven

His prayers were answered!

I couldn't believe I was sitting in church, wearing a suit and tie. Debbie sat beside me in a frilly pink and white dress, a silly pink hat on her head. It was 1971, and that's how people dressed on Sundays, way back then. I hadn't been to church in over ten years. It wasn't Deb I was trying to impress. It was her older sister, Karen, who was my goddess. I knew Karen would never have...Read On

7

vote

tom8o

The Crack of Dawn

Me and Dawn was both born 'n raised in Hooterville. We never dated, though. We'd just hang out with our friends at the Tasty-Freeze and stuff. We was always "Just Friends." You know, the kind of friends where the girl just wants to have fun and the guy just wants to fuck. Yeah, I really liked her, maybe even loved her a little. By the time we was thirty, I'd moved to the city and Dawn...Read On

11

vote

Adagio

Putting On My High Top Galoshes

Like all writer's, the names and locations have changed in order that I can stretch my imagination. With the exception of Savannah, Georgia, most is pure swamp water fabrication. I pride myself in being both literate and illegitimate, as I made it through university. Although my family is dysfunctional, we don't get along past my weekly donations to their Sunday bingo's. My mom finds...Read On

11

vote

Adagio

Gumshue

It all started several months ago when I, Envious Gumshue, was given my pink slip at The Toadstool Inn restaurant. You would have thought that it would have come with lace, but it did get my attention. One has to understand, what "The Stool" lacked in etiquette, it made up for with chewing gum stuck beneath the tables. However, on first entering, you got the feeling of silence as if...Read On

4

vote

kornslayer1

One funny day in college

This day in college, was a funny, yet erotic

My name is Jim, and I'm twenty-two. I'm in college, and I have this roommate, named Ed. He is twenty-three, and always seems to have bad luck when it comes to the ladies. There was one time, when we were at a club, that he was trying to pick up a couple chicks. There were two ladies, and he actually thought he was gonna get us both lucky. "You know ladies, those beer bottles aren't the only...Read On

11

vote

Adagio

Shadow's Ivy

Like other members of the family flock, I attended Dartmouth University, majoring in mediocrity and minoring in meteorology, following in my uncle's footsteps, chasing tornadoes and aspiring stage dancers... perhaps a rainbow or two. I managed to slip narrowly through the cracks and received a very thin sheepskin diploma. I was ready to seek the high and low fronts of being a weather person. ...Read On

39

vote

Buz

Reunion At The Beach

Life long friends have raunchy sloppy wet naked beach fun.

I'm Larry, and I've been dying to tell the story of what happened to me last spring at the beach. I grew up in The Hamptons at the end of Long Island, New York. I am a senior attending Cornell University. My father went to Cornell, as did his father, his father before him, and his father before him, who was a founding member of my fraternity. So you can see that going to Cornell and joining...Read On

21

vote

AbigailThornton

Saturday Moaning At The Office

This isn't what office sex is like in the stories...

It felt weird to be creeping around my office on Saturday morning. The empty building was a bit spooky – like being in one those post apocalypse zombie films that my boyfriend loves so much. I was glad that I had brought him inside to protect me – at least I had been until he decided to sneak up on me after poking around one of the displays. “Don’t do that!” I scolded, slapping him hard on...Read On

6

vote

tom8o

Working Stiff

A city slicker gets his cumuppance.

Driving for hours across the high plains always makes me horny. My mind drifts much like the winds rippling across the miles of wheat fields. Thinking about the nubile young virgin in the next town just waiting for me to sweep her up and take her to the promised land. Happens all the time... in my imagination. So that was my state of mind when I rolled into the tiny hamlet of Youngfield. I...Read On

13

vote

michk111

The Adventures of Having Roommates

With Alex taking a long shower Cassie has a solution for Michelle's need to get out of the apartment

No matter how hard I try I have never been able to beat Cassie running. It’s not a defeatist attitude but rather a simple indisputable fact. Every time we go for a run she crosses some imaginary finish line ahead of me. I’ve tried sneak attacks. I’ve tried to get a lead and hold it. I’ve tried to shadow her and sprint to the end and I’ve even tried the “I’m just running next to you but sneak...Read On

11

vote

DLizze

The Alliterative Assignation

Some fun wih words in a collaborative effort with Poppet

Poppet was a person, not a puppet; that point must be perfectly clear. Feeling not terribly devotional that Palm Sunday, she was perusing porn on her Palm Pilot while she was perched in her pew at the Pineview Pentecostal Chapel. Her perky breasts rose and fell as she watched the scene silently unfold beneath her hymnbook. Her paramour, Peter, perched in the pew next to her, glanced at...Read On

35

vote

Poppet

Fucking The Client

Perks Of The Job

I had to work a fourteen hour shift yesterday, which dragged into the late night. I didn't even get home until the wee hours, stripping and going straight to bed. The last thing I saw was the clock reading ten of five in the morning. I let out a groan when I hear my phone buzz. Who could possibly be texting me so early? I sigh, and reach for my phone. I read the text, it’s from my boss....Read On

44

vote

Tashtego

Roger

A confirmed bachelor finds that casual sex can be hard work.

“Well, it’s over.” Roger Jones tossed his keys on the table near the door. “She doesn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore.” Roger slouched his way into the living room, hands in the pockets of his chinos. His roommate sat on the couch wearing a grey sweatshirt and a pair of plaid boxer shorts. “Sheila? Now there’s a shocker,” said Dennis between slurps of breakfast cereal. ...Read On

8

vote

RumpleForeskin

Looking for Sex in outdoor places: a cautionary tale

Boondocks or boudoir, for some it’s not an easy choice

What a fucking fantastic fuck! Making love outdoors was even better than Angie had imagined. Sitting astride her lover, feeling the sun and wind on her flushed, tingling skin was such a turn-on. Everything around them seemed so peaceful and sexy. The sounds of nature were accompanied by the rhythmic slurping of her lover’s thick shaft moving inside her wet, and, oh so happy, pussy. The more...Read On

Categories

Top Authors

Popular Tags

Humor

My Journal

King Arthur in the Adventures of Cameltoe (Part 2)

King Arthur in the Adventures of Cameltoe (Part 1)

First Time Disaster

Chocolate Laughter

The Piece Treaty 4th Gear

The Wham Bam Theory

The Piece Treaty 3rd Gear

Sex On A Plane

The Piece Treaty 2nd gear

The Piece Treaty

Willacoochee Chicken

Sayonara Elysian Fields, Hello Hortense

There Is Nothing To Be seen

A bored housewife's amusing tale

A Run in With The Law

Mr. Spanky Goes to Heaven

The Crack of Dawn

Putting On My High Top Galoshes

Gumshue

One funny day in college

Shadow's Ivy

Reunion At The Beach

Saturday Moaning At The Office

Working Stiff

The Adventures of Having Roommates

The Alliterative Assignation

Fucking The Client

Roger

Looking for Sex in outdoor places: a cautionary tale