Humor

ClarkRoberts

Chill Pill

An employee confuses his pills and a female boss must take action to save the business.

“We got a problem, Boss,” whispered Roland, into my ear. Glaring at the interruption, I sighed and pushed back from the conference table. Quietly, I slipped from the gathering of clients and followed Roland out into the hall. “What’s up?” I asked. Roland explained, “Its Myron.” “What’s he done now?” I asked, getting peeved. “He’s locked himself in the executive washroom.” ...Read On

Added: 28 May 2016 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 4.85 | Words: 2,994 | Tags: humor  oral  straight sex  large cock   | 5 Comments

mranonymous7

Can’t Take Her Anywhere

Over the years, Georgette has developed a real love of sucking cock and the thing is that she doesn’t care when or where, as long as she gets it. She seemed to need at least three or four cocks a day, besides mine. We go shopping a lot but usually just window-shopping because of our money situation. Georgette and I were at a mall one day and looking around. We had a little money to spend so...Read On

Added: 17 May 2016 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 4.71 | Words: 1,436 | Tags: blowjob  swallowing   | 4 Comments

RogerBrown69

Another Notch On His Bedpost -Chapter 1

John is just a guy whose ex-girlfriend comes to visit him one afternoon and they nearly get caught

Seriously I don’t know how it happened. It wasn’t my fault, and I didn’t encourage her. Sorry, let me start at the beginning. I’d had dated Trudy on an off for a few years. We had finally split up a few weeks ago. She was a lovely lady, but there were just some things about her that were hard work. She wanted to spend time with her friends and time with me. That is not such a bad thing...Read On

Added: 16 Apr 2016 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 5 | Words: 3,655 | Tags: garden  neighbours  

underthehood

On Call (Part 2) - The Follow Up

The adventures in scrubs continue

A distant cheer of the crowd was resonating as the camera zoomed in from different angles. The tension was palpable and the crowd egged on. In one corner, people started to sing. Fists were pumped into the air; high-fives and screams were shared in excitement. His heart was racing and beads of sweat flowered on his skin. Suddenly the noise dropped down as they changed positions and...Read On

Added: 12 Mar 2016 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 5 | Words: 3,416 | Tags: straight sex  doctor  hospital  cougar  oral  masturbation  sarcasm   | 3 Comments

underthehood

On Call

And finally his day took a turn for good

Stupid! Idiot! Knuckle dragging, sloth blooded … His round of profanities towards the slow walking gentleman blocking his way in the crowded passage stopped when he tried pushing his way ahead. He noticed the hunched stature, white wisps on the shining head, withered skin, quad cane and a urine bag in his hand. Although the unflattering moon behind the hospital robe was proudly...Read On

Added: 05 Mar 2016 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 4.88 | Words: 3,433 | Tags: straight sex  doctor  hospital  cougar  secret  rough   | 7 Comments

Adagio

A Pallor Of Gray

Talk wordy to me Hurley.

You might recall, the last escapade when the Gooch's were returning home to Goose. Now she in her skin tight'ner and I in my truss had just returned to Savannah from a visit with her dwindling kinfolk in Arkadelphia. "Its Philadelphia, Hurley." A lot of things have happen in the passing few months. A parrot pecking off an ear. A alligator biting off two fingers and a piranha chewing my...Read On

Added: 14 Jan 2016 | Category: Humor | Words: 1,216 | Tags: funny  erotic   | 10 Comments

Adagio

FeloniousGooch69

...welcome newbies

Recently married and now in their twilight cheering, he with a truss and she with her makeup smearing. Like shadows to gray, Zelda's fat ass blocked out the sun as it went to sleep on the horizon. In the distance and approaching was geriatric's answer to Ma and Pa Kettle's farm. Jumping leaps and bounds by using modified pogo sticks, Hurley and Zelda Gooch hit the asphalt of the...Read On

Added: 09 Jan 2016 | Category: Humor | Words: 1,575 | Tags: humor  erotic.  online chat   | 10 Comments

Adagio

Gravel In My Gurdy

...sounded as if Tommy Dorsey was playing his trombone.

In the old days I raised my dick with an electric motor from an erector set, but now I had modernized. If you recall, "From Over The Pill." It takes a few minutes to connect the moped motor to the stationary bicycle. That and the wires and tubes that attach to my scrotum and penis. I don't need the blue pill any longer. I left off as Hurley and Zelda were moped-bopping. The engine...Read On

Added: 07 Jan 2016 | Category: Humor | Words: 1,339 | Tags: humor  erotic   | 10 Comments

Adagio

Over The Pill

When we had first met, four weeks ago, Zelda had a case of bad hemorrhoids. A couple of days later as I was willfully treasure hunting in her anal cavities, I discovered autographed castanets by Xavier Cugat (1964) instead of piles. On the road, after the honeymoon, we were nearing Savannah. I was tiring and my endorphins were acting up. We checked in to the Hootchie Smooch Inn, and once...Read On

Added: 04 Jan 2016 | Category: Humor | Words: 1,054 | Tags: erotic  humor   | 13 Comments

Spooge

Mr. Mighty

A local intrepid superhero is tested in ways he never imagined.

"Why, oh why, can't I fly like Superman?" Eric Mighty asked the mirror in his modest bathroom. For a man of superhuman strength he did not feel very super. He could do so much more if only he could fly. The Auda City Police Department had issued him a special phone that had a signal almost anywhere, far better than a standard civilian model. What help could he provide when he had to deal with...Read On

Added: 27 Dec 2015 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 4.4 | Words: 4,475 | Tags: superhero  seduction  punishment  straight   | 3 Comments

welshman

How to Arouse your Woman

Some basic sex education!

So, you have her in a room, let's say it's the traditional bedroom. (Could be the kitchen or bathroom, but do not attempt the following at the pub, cinema or the like.) Help her undress, particularly her underwear if she is so adorned. Undo her bra, let it loosen, cup her breasts with it then remove, letting it fall to the floor. Nibble on her nape while you do so, if she has long hair tell...Read On

Added: 14 Dec 2015 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 4 | Words: 591 | Tags: educational  humorous  arousal  humour   | 1 Comment

HalftoneTony

Paige's Sting

Paige and Azalea seize the opportunity to get their own back on their bullying boss

It all began when Azalea popped home at lunchtime to put some washing in and get something out of the freezer for dinner. Jared had been loafing about all morning but obviously he couldn't be trusted to do anything like that. When she got home he had managed to climb into a pair of boxers and an old singlet, and he was triumphantly waving a travel brochure. "You know that week's holiday...Read On

Added: 08 Dec 2015 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 4.5 | Words: 6,407 | Tags: revenge porn  office sex  rough sex  voyeurism  caught  

David929

Shopping trips with Sherry

Sherry decides I need to go shopping for more clothes.

Slowly, Sherry and I begin to become more than just friends. Sex is off limits because neither of us want the possibility of a child, STD's, etc. She has no problem visiting me and I am still getting used to her place. Hardly anyone shows up at my house unannounced, while a few of her pals still drop in when they feel like it or if they are invited. Sherry or one of her bitches will ask me...Read On

Added: 07 Dec 2015 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 5 | Words: 2,937 | Tags: humor  masturbation  crossdressing  spanking  voyeur  bsdm  exhibitionism   | 1 Comment

David929

More Fun Time With Sherry

Mommy Sherry starts to show her feisty side.

Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months... As time marches on, Sherry and I see each other more often and our notes at the stores are replaced with the usual conversation of a customer and associate. On weekends, she stops by my place and we talk, watch TV or do whatever is on the agenda. My co-workers and assorted friends understand that there is now a woman in the mix and to...Read On

Added: 21 Nov 2015 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 5 | Words: 3,239 | Tags: spanking  voyeur  humor  crossdressing  masturbation  bsdm   | 1 Comment

David929

First Time With Sherry

'Just remember, Mommy Knows Best'

I am generally a good judge of character and can tell who I can poke fun with and who to steer clear of. My house is in an area with very little traffic. On warm mornings I take walks down to a skimpy male bikini and like to tan on my fenced-in deck in next to nothing or completely naked. I also get to see ladies in well-fitting attire as I drive or walk to work, which is always a plus....Read On

Added: 09 Nov 2015 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 4.75 | Words: 1,163 | Tags: humor  masturbation  spanking  voyeur  exhibitionism  first time   | 6 Comments

Jasmine_x

Salted Popcorn

I was a senior in high school at the time. Even twenty seven years later, I can remember everything about that Friday night. Well, everything except the movie. It was June, 1988 and I had just asked my long term crush out on a date. I couldn’t believe it when she accepted my offer to go to the cinema that Friday. Becky Waters was the most popular girl in school and I was pretty much not...Read On

Added: 03 Nov 2015 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 4.79 | Words: 1,196 | Tags: humor  humour  first date  popcorn  cinema  movies     | 17 Comments

Alexandra_A

Jack the pumpkin kink

Breaking magic spells sometimes requires extreme measures

I know this will sound incredible, unbelievable, but you have to believe me. I swear this is exactly as it happened. There were lots to choose from, dozens, but this one sort of called to me. It did! Honestly, I know it sounds... Anyway, when I got home, the wife just sneered at me. 'Bit early for Halloween isn't it?'  So what? There was a week to go, but she knows I like to have a...Read On

Added: 28 Oct 2015 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 4.83 | Words: 1,354 | Tags: pumpkin  halloween  masturbation  spell   | 6 Comments

benawriter

The Tongue Stimulator

An attempt at a little sexual humor

Riley sat in the waiting room feeling awkward and embarrassed. What man would go to such lengths to satisfy his girlfriend, anyway? But there seemed no other alternative. He had always been able to satisfy his European girlfriend, Yora, when she wanted oral sex from him, but recently she attended a face sitting class with a friend and now seemed obsessed with it. He had no objection...Read On

Added: 17 Oct 2015 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 5 | Words: 1,052 | Tags: sexual  humor  oral  doctor  tonguing   | 4 Comments

Adagio

Lean Acres And Harpoons

...lean acres is the place for me.

As any true southerner knows, there are places 'down yonder in Dixie', where the swamps never rise and the swamp chickens (frogs) croak off key. What happened to me, happened with my consent - even though I was covered in calamine lotion to ward off mosquito bites. * It was a Friday evening. I was taking a night off from my lounge; a private lounge and discreet, catering to...Read On

Added: 30 Sep 2015 | Category: Humor | Words: 2,303 | Tags: fetish  humor  masturbation  group   | 11 Comments

WritersFriend

A Little Place Called Heaven

An homage to O. Henry, written too late for the "Money Talks" competition.

It sounded easy, but wait till I tell you. Me and Jake O’Leary had just finished up a short-time bid for a bad-check beef at Warm Springs, a min-security bucket in Carson City, and through some scams we’d scraped together close to three thousand bucks, but we needed seven thou to buy into a major credit-card grift. We brainstormed and cogitated, trying to think of a way to top up our...Read On

Added: 28 Sep 2015 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 5 | Words: 4,103 | Tags: kidnapping  seduction  bondage   | 1 Comment

Adagio

Kickstand

...cabbage rolls and James Brown.

I have never confessed to being gay or engaging in buggering. It's just understood. I was never a 'real' male, after the initial soundings in my urethra. They making me swoon down to my socks in my effeminate canter. Now four weeks after being castrated and having my scrotum cauterized. The vibes of the wands were making me smile as I started up the mobile. I was working as an apprentice...Read On

Added: 10 Sep 2015 | Category: Humor | Words: 826 | Tags: erotic  humorus  sounding   | 10 Comments

CommunicationDirectr

Making a Fantasy Come True at a Comedy Club

Public sex was risky, but a Bucket List' item I needed to cross off my to do' list...

I had been dating Michelle about a year and while we always had fantastic sex, it was always on her terms. After a year of an "on -gain-off-again" relationship, I wanted to try something different - sex in public. At first, Michelle was not very keen on the idea. “Look,” I argued, “We can keep it discreet, but still have fun.” Michelle finally acquiesced under intense pressure. We...Read On

Added: 18 Aug 2015 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 5 | Words: 1,502 | Tags: comedy  public sex  fantasies   | 1 Comment

penismightier

Cum Shower

All he wanted was to ease his loneliness

Let me just preface this little narrative by saying that I am not the most proficient of lovers. I have trouble meeting ladies. I don’t know why. I’m shy, you could say. But I'm human, like Morrissey says, and I need to be loved, just like anybody else does. So, instead of going out and meeting someone, I thought I’d try hiring a prostitute. I’d never done it before. And, to be honest,...Read On

Added: 05 Jul 2015 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 3.2 | Words: 1,770 | Tags: cum shower  prostitute  fetish   | 3 Comments

omnivour

Clone A Willy or The Troubles of Mixing Science and Sex

don't try this at home unless you are secure in your manhood

Most of the stories I write are sweet, romantic and a representation of real life. Complete with dialogue and feelings. This story is not one of those. This could probably be considered a real life account of a humbling experience. The wonderful woman in my life, Maddi, has come to enjoy sex in her middle years. Since our divorces we have been making up for lost time. She has gotten...Read On

Added: 30 Jun 2015 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 5 | Words: 1,875 | Tags: penis  replication  tapioca  gooey  messy  dang  near   | 4 Comments