Humor Stories

3

underthehood

On Call (Part 2) - The Follow Up

The adventures in scrubs continue

A distant cheer of the crowd was resonating as the camera zoomed in from different angles. The tension was palpable and the crowd egged on. In one corner, people started to sing. Fists were pumped into the air; high-fives and screams were shared in excitement. His heart was racing and beads of sweat flowered on his skin. Suddenly the noise dropped down as they changed positions and...Read On

8

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underthehood

On Call

And finally his day took a turn for good

Stupid! Idiot! Knuckle dragging, sloth blooded … His round of profanities towards the slow walking gentleman blocking his way in the crowded passage stopped when he tried pushing his way ahead. He noticed the hunched stature, white wisps on the shining head, withered skin, quad cane and a urine bag in his hand. Although the unflattering moon behind the hospital robe was proudly...Read On

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Adagio

A Pallor Of Gray

Talk wordy to me Hurley.

You might recall, the last escapade when the Gooch's were returning home to Goose. Now she in her skin tight'ner and I in my truss had just returned to Savannah from a visit with her dwindling kinfolk in Arkadelphia. "Its Philadelphia, Hurley." A lot of things have happen in the passing few months. A parrot pecking off an ear. A alligator biting off two fingers and a piranha chewing my...Read On

Added: 14 Jan 2016 | Category: Humor | Words: 1,216 | Tags: funny erotic | 10 Comments

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Adagio

FeloniousGooch69

...welcome newbies

Recently married and now in their twilight cheering, he with a truss and she with her makeup smearing. Like shadows to gray, Zelda's fat ass blocked out the sun as it went to sleep on the horizon. In the distance and approaching was geriatric's answer to Ma and Pa Kettle's farm. Jumping leaps and bounds by using modified pogo sticks, Hurley and Zelda Gooch hit the asphalt of the...Read On

Added: 09 Jan 2016 | Category: Humor | Words: 1,575 | Tags: humor erotic. online chat | 10 Comments

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Adagio

Gravel In My Gurdy

...sounded as if Tommy Dorsey was playing his trombone.

In the old days I raised my dick with an electric motor from an erector set, but now I had modernized. If you recall, "From Over The Pill." It takes a few minutes to connect the moped motor to the stationary bicycle. That and the wires and tubes that attach to my scrotum and penis. I don't need the blue pill any longer. I left off as Hurley and Zelda were moped-bopping. The engine...Read On

Added: 07 Jan 2016 | Category: Humor | Words: 1,339 | Tags: humor erotic | 10 Comments

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Adagio

Over The Pill

When we had first met, four weeks ago, Zelda had a case of bad hemorrhoids. A couple of days later as I was willfully treasure hunting in her anal cavities, I discovered autographed castanets by Xavier Cugat (1964) instead of piles. On the road, after the honeymoon, we were nearing Savannah. I was tiring and my endorphins were acting up. We checked in to the Hootchie Smooch Inn, and once...Read On

Added: 04 Jan 2016 | Category: Humor | Words: 1,054 | Tags: erotic humor | 13 Comments

5

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Spooge

Mr. Mighty

A local intrepid superhero is tested in ways he never imagined.

"Why, oh why, can't I fly like Superman?" Eric Mighty asked the mirror in his modest bathroom. For a man of superhuman strength he did not feel very super. He could do so much more if only he could fly. The Auda City Police Department had issued him a special phone that had a signal almost anywhere, far better than a standard civilian model. What help could he provide when he had to deal with...Read On

1

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welshman

How to Arouse your Woman

Some basic sex education!

So, you have her in a room, let's say it's the traditional bedroom. (Could be the kitchen or bathroom, but do not attempt the following at the pub, cinema or the like.) Help her undress, particularly her underwear if she is so adorned. Undo her bra, let it loosen, cup her breasts with it then remove, letting it fall to the floor. Nibble on her nape while you do so, if she has long hair tell...Read On

2

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HalftoneTony

Paige's Sting

Paige and Azalea seize the opportunity to get their own back on their bullying boss

It all began when Azalea popped home at lunchtime to put some washing in and get something out of the freezer for dinner. Jared had been loafing about all morning but obviously he couldn't be trusted to do anything like that. When she got home he had managed to climb into a pair of boxers and an old singlet, and he was triumphantly waving a travel brochure. "You know that week's holiday...Read On

Added: 08 Dec 2015 | Category: Humor | Avg Score: 4.5 | Words: 6,407 | Tags: revenge porn office sex rough sex voyeurism caught

2

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David929

Shopping trips with Sherry

Sherry decides I need to go shopping for more clothes.

Slowly, Sherry and I begin to become more than just friends. Sex is off limits because neither of us want the possibility of a child, STD's, etc. She has no problem visiting me and I am still getting used to her place. Hardly anyone shows up at my house unannounced, while a few of her pals still drop in when they feel like it or if they are invited. Sherry or one of her bitches will ask me...Read On

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Master_Jonathan

Leave It To My Beaver - A 1950's Era Housewife's Fantasy

An erotic look at "the good old days"!

It was a hot summer day and the boys were out in the garage working on their bicycles. I was in the house doing some of the seemingly endless vacuuming when in came Ethan Huffington, one of the neighborhood boys. "Good afternoon Mrs. Chandler, you are looking especially lovely today," he said in his usual too polite way. Ethan had this way of talking that sounded so condescending and...Read On

Added: 05 Dec 2015 | Category: Humor | Words: 3,752 | Tags: humor 1950 straight mature parody sitcom | 19 Comments

7

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DarkSide

You’re Supposed To Be A Lesbian

Not your usual Janet and John story.

Debra walked into the house at about half past six in the evening. It had been a long day and she had spent most of it driving home. She was more than tired and just wanted to slip into Janet’s arms, have a snog, a grope of her tits and then maybe go out, or stay in for a meal. Debra walked into the lounge and saw a note on the table. She could see Janet’s handwriting and prepared for the...Read On

1

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David929

More Fun Time With Sherry

Mommy Sherry starts to show her feisty side.

Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months... As time marches on, Sherry and I see each other more often and our notes at the stores are replaced with the usual conversation of a customer and associate. On weekends, she stops by my place and we talk, watch TV or do whatever is on the agenda. My co-workers and assorted friends understand that there is now a woman in the mix and to...Read On

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Master_Jonathan

The Wham Bam Theory II - The Fellatio Friendship

She needed help rearranging some furniture, and she rewarded his help well!

Andrew sat in his favorite spot on the old brown leather couch watching his favorite TV show, Star Trek (the original). He happily had the apartment to himself, his roommate Isaac had left for a science convention the day before. His girl friend, Elizabeth, was also out of town visiting relatives so he was fairly certain he would not be disturbed - a fact that made him grin broadly. He had...Read On

Added: 16 Nov 2015 | Category: Humor | Words: 4,027 | Tags: university parody moving oral sex neighbors | 11 Comments

8

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David929

First Time With Sherry

'Just remember, Mommy Knows Best'

I am generally a good judge of character and can tell who I can poke fun with and who to steer clear of. My house is in an area with very little traffic. On warm mornings I take walks down to a skimpy male bikini and like to tan on my fenced-in deck in next to nothing or completely naked. I also get to see ladies in well-fitting attire as I drive or walk to work, which is always a plus....Read On

14

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Jasmine_x

Salted Popcorn

I was a senior in high school at the time. Even twenty seven years later, I can remember everything about that Friday night. Well, everything except the movie. It was June, 1988 and I had just asked my long term crush out on a date. I couldn’t believe it when she accepted my offer to go to the cinema that Friday. Becky Waters was the most popular girl in school and I was pretty much not...Read On

6

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Alexandra_A

Jack the pumpkin kink

Breaking magic spells sometimes requires extreme measures

I know this will sound incredible, unbelievable, but you have to believe me. I swear this is exactly as it happened. There were lots to choose from, dozens, but this one sort of called to me. It did! Honestly, I know it sounds... Anyway, when I got home, the wife just sneered at me. 'Bit early for Halloween isn't it?' So what? There was a week to go, but she knows I like to have a...Read On

8

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Gil_Renard

Dante Abbracciavento PI: Find the man with the buckles on his shoes - Pt 3

Thank you Bella!

Welcome to Little Italy, Viv The next day, Leo made his way up to my office just before lunch time. He wanted to apologize to Viv. He had bought flowers for her. A dozen long stem roses.When Viv saw Leo walk through the door she panicked. She froze behind her desk. "Viv," Leo said to her, "I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I...Read On

8

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Gil_Renard

Dante Abbracciavento PI: Find the man with the buckles on his shoes - Pt2

Thank you Bella!

Enter Viviana Vendetti The following Monday morning I had an interview for the secretary position I had advertised. Her name was Viviana Vendetti. She entered my office promptly at eleven AM. I was immediately struck by her beauty. Her big, brown eyes emitted a cool and calm confidence. Long, shiny, chestnut colored hair gently bounced around her shoulders with each step she took,...Read On

5

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benawriter

The Tongue Stimulator

An attempt at a little sexual humor

Riley sat in the waiting room feeling awkward and embarrassed. What man would go to such lengths to satisfy his girlfriend, anyway? But there seemed no other alternative. He had always been able to satisfy his European girlfriend, Yora, when she wanted oral sex from him, but recently she attended a face sitting class with a friend and now seemed obsessed with it. He had no objection...Read On

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Adagio

Lean Acres And Harpoons

...lean acres is the place for me.

As any true southerner knows, there are places 'down yonder in Dixie', where the swamps never rise and the swamp chickens (frogs) croak off key. What happened to me, happened with my consent - even though I was covered in calamine lotion to ward off mosquito bites. * It was a Friday evening. I was taking a night off from my lounge; a private lounge and discreet, catering to...Read On

Added: 30 Sep 2015 | Category: Humor | Words: 2,303 | Tags: fetish humor masturbation group | 11 Comments

1

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WritersFriend

A Little Place Called Heaven

An homage to O. Henry, written too late for the "Money Talks" competition.

It sounded easy, but wait till I tell you. Me and Jake O’Leary had just finished up a short-time bid for a bad-check beef at Warm Springs, a min-security bucket in Carson City, and through some scams we’d scraped together close to three thousand bucks, but we needed seven thou to buy into a major credit-card grift. We brainstormed and cogitated, trying to think of a way to top up our...Read On

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Adagio

Kickstand

...cabbage rolls and James Brown.

I have never confessed to being gay or engaging in buggering. It's just understood. I was never a 'real' male, after the initial soundings in my urethra. They making me swoon down to my socks in my effeminate canter. Now four weeks after being castrated and having my scrotum cauterized. The vibes of the wands were making me smile as I started up the mobile. I was working as an apprentice...Read On

Added: 10 Sep 2015 | Category: Humor | Words: 826 | Tags: erotic humorus sounding | 10 Comments

4

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CommunicationDirectr

Making a Fantasy Come True at a Comedy Club

Public sex was risky, but a Bucket List' item I needed to cross off my to do' list...

I had been dating Michelle about a year and while we always had fantastic sex, it was always on her terms. After a year of an "on -gain-off-again" relationship, I wanted to try something different - sex in public. At first, Michelle was not very keen on the idea. “Look,” I argued, “We can keep it discreet, but still have fun.” Michelle finally acquiesced under intense pressure. We...Read On

5

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penismightier

Cum Shower

All he wanted was to ease his loneliness

Let me just preface this little narrative by saying that I am not the most proficient of lovers. I have trouble meeting ladies. I don’t know why. I’m shy, you could say. But I'm human, like Morrissey says, and I need to be loved, just like anybody else does. So, instead of going out and meeting someone, I thought I’d try hiring a prostitute. I’d never done it before. And, to be honest,...Read On

5

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omnivour

Clone A Willy or The Troubles of Mixing Science and Sex

don't try this at home unless you are secure in your manhood

Most of the stories I write are sweet, romantic and a representation of real life. Complete with dialogue and feelings. This story is not one of those. This could probably be considered a real life account of a humbling experience. The wonderful woman in my life, Maddi, has come to enjoy sex in her middle years. Since our divorces we have been making up for lost time. She has gotten...Read On

10

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MrDeep

Dating in North Dallas

The nightmare of post-divorce dating

Three things can happen in a marriage and two are bad. I’m experiencing one of the bad things. It’s called divorce. Hi! I’m Mike Dawson. I go by M.D. What am I doing now? I am now sitting in my girlfriend’s Sunday school class at a protestant mega-church. It’s a class for divorced singles. The speaker is telling them how men don’t understand their wives and moms, and there is one reason...Read On

33

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DanielleX

A General Erection

A rather naughty political sketch

There’s a week to go before the country goes to the polls. The result is on a knife edge and the Prime Minister is aboard the battle bus, visiting Paddle with Whipping, a key marginal in the home counties. As he relaxes in his seat, his aide hands him the ‘special telephone.’ “It’s Martin, Prime Minister, he says it’s urgent.” The premier takes the phone, his face grim with trepidation. ...Read On

8

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ManofAdventure

A trip to the shops

Who said that shopping is boring...

"Can I help you, sir?" I turned to appraise the lady who was offering me her assistance. I liked what I saw. Petite. Clothes clinging to her as if their life depended on it, emphasising what looked like a perfectly proportioned chest. Brunette, shoulder length hair. Black shirt ending at the waist. First two buttons undone. Some form of necklace; no, a crucifix with the cross...Read On

49

vote

Buz

Blue Light Special

Two small town policeman pick up a big haired, big titted waitress for a ‘yehaa’ good time.

The train seemed like it would run on forever. Sitting in his black and white police cruiser, several cars back waiting in line, police officer, Bugs Parr, squirmed impatiently in his seat. Leaning forward, he stretched his neck to see if he could see the end of the long noisy freight train. “Goddamn if that ain’t the longest fuckin’ train I’ve seen in ages,” Sergeant Wilson said as he...Read On

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Humor

On Call (Part 2) - The Follow Up

On Call

A Pallor Of Gray

FeloniousGooch69

Gravel In My Gurdy

Over The Pill

Mr. Mighty

How to Arouse your Woman

Paige's Sting

Shopping trips with Sherry

Leave It To My Beaver - A 1950's Era Housewife's Fantasy

You’re Supposed To Be A Lesbian

More Fun Time With Sherry

The Wham Bam Theory II - The Fellatio Friendship

First Time With Sherry

Salted Popcorn

Jack the pumpkin kink

Dante Abbracciavento PI: Find the man with the buckles on his shoes - Pt 3

Dante Abbracciavento PI: Find the man with the buckles on his shoes - Pt2

The Tongue Stimulator

Lean Acres And Harpoons

A Little Place Called Heaven

Kickstand

Making a Fantasy Come True at a Comedy Club

Cum Shower

Clone A Willy or The Troubles of Mixing Science and Sex

Dating in North Dallas

A General Erection

A trip to the shops

Blue Light Special