Interview with dancing_doll
dancing_doll, the self described blonde lollypop, is a well known celebrity of the Lush forums.
She has authored a number of popular stories including one Editor's Pick award for The Cabo Connection.
We hope you enjoy the interview.
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I will admit up front that I don’t read nearly as much as I used. Over the years I’ve really enjoyed the works of Ian McEwan, Candace Bushnell, Stephen King, Michael Crichton, David Foster Wallace, Jennifer Belle, Albert Camus, Margaret Atwood, Barbara Kingfisher, Nietzsche, and Yeats. It’s a bit of an eclectic mix. I tend to read more when I’m traveling, but I tend to tailor the content to the traveling at hand, so if I’m in NYC, I’d probably be reading David Foster Wallace, and if I’m laying on the beach covered in suntan lotion, I’ll be indulging in Candace Bushnell or Jennifer Belle. I can’t really place one author above the others. They all have left an impression on me at different times in my life. As one grows, I think the voices of the authors you gravitate towards change as well.
Hmm… I don’t know if any one book has changed my life yet. I remember being really impacted by Albert Camus’ “The Stranger” (L’Etranger) in high school. Existentialism really appealed to me during my last year of high school, and first year of university. His novels “The Fall” and “A Happy Death” are also stand out. After drowning in Shakespeare and the great canon of romantic poets, I found existentialism to be both refreshing and intriguing. It really caused me to re-evaluate my impressions of life and human existence, and I suppose it also appealed to my dark side.
What are you currently reading
I’m not actively reading anything at the moment, although I have shelved several books. I’m trying to focus on my own writing for now. The reading that I do is mostly online and in the format of short stories or blogs.
I'm inspired by...
Life in general. That includes pieces of music, artwork, photographs, dance, connections and conflict, and the general thrills and spills of life. People I meet inspire me regularly. I’ve always been fascinated by the mind and all the flaws and faults and idiosyncrasies that are part of being human. The beauty of life seems obvious to me. I’m more drawn to the darker and more deviant sides of life and humanity, because the challenges of struggling with those kinds of urges in the midst of trying to be happy or ‘normal’ is far more intriguing to me. I am naturally drawn to imperfections.
I started writing because...
It just seemed to compel me. I’ve always had an overactive imagination, even going back to my shocking grade three creative writing series about a serial killer. My teacher called my mom in to discuss why I was writing such dark and disturbing “horror” stories. My thoughts always were… why not? I’ve written on and off for as long as I can remember. I have stacks of writing notebooks with weird stories I wrote when I was a kid, and I guess it continued from there. Writing was something to entertain me and keep my mind busy in a constructive and creative way. I’ve always been a product of self-expression. The mediums have varied, but I guess I have always had something to say, or some tale to tell, and writing was just one of the methods I chose.
Aside from writing, what occupies your time
Life! I enjoy connecting with people, and I’m quite outgoing and social. I’m probably constantly interacting with people in one way or another whether it be face to face, over the phone or text messaging, or on the computer. Sometimes it overwhelms me and I’ll retreat into a little bubble of silence where I’ll block everything out, and go into a more contemplative, meditative (and occasionally melancholy) mood. I actually find that those moments often inspire me artistically. This is necessary for what I do for a living and to fuel the creative process that is part of my everyday life.
How did you get in to writing erotica?
I had been in the middle of writing a dramatic fiction novel in my spare time, and stumbled upon Lush by accident. I read a few short stories and liked the idea of getting instant feedback. At first I treated it as a writing exercise and a distraction from my novel. I have always been a rather unconfident writer. I have been writing in one form or another all my life, but rarely had the nerve to show many people my work. While I had always excelled and been praised for my writing in school, there is something very intimate and personal about sharing something that has been created by your own (often warped) little mind. I liked the relative anonymity that the internet offered, and I wrote my first erotic story. From there, I quickly got hooked on how much fun it was, and the great feedback I received. I kept writing from there. I love the concept of erotica in that it taps into the most primal part of the soul. Sexuality is still such a secretive and taboo subject in life, and exploring it by using only the limits of the human imagination was intriguing to me. I’ve found, through writing, that I’m much more of a dirty girl than I’d ever given myself credit for originally. When I first learned about sex, I did all my initial research with porn, and I figured that’s just what everyone did. As it turns out, apparently it made me far more adventurous than the norm, which has always been a good thing, in my opinion. Sharing my fantasies and/or experiences with others excites me on one level. Then knowing that readers are masturbating to my stories, or getting off, or getting turned on, or in some cases, even being inspired to try new things, or learning something about their own dark desires and needs has been rewarding on a whole different level.
What's your favourite writing genre and why
In terms of erotica, I tend to enjoy genres that lend themselves to psychologically complex stories (my favourites probably being reluctance and taboo). I like the idea of the push and pull of human desire, the struggle between right and wrong, and the intensity of unexpectedly giving into your darker impulses. It tends to give the sexual component a certain urgency that always gets my pulse racing and my panties wet.
Where do you get your creative juice/story ideas from?
Sometimes I draw from real life experiences, or I create characters that are inspired or directly drawn from real life. The stories themselves are often fantasies that turn me on, and I tend to think about plot ideas during those moments when I’m just about to fall asleep or when I wake up in the morning, but don’t feel like opening my eyes yet. Other times, I’ve been inspired by other writers or a particularly hot and dirty conversation or sexual experience. I’m a communicator, and a pretty dirty one at that, so when I find the right connection, it can fuel a lot of intensely hot concepts and ideas. It lubes the psychological engine and gets the wheels turning enough to create what hopefully becomes an enjoyable erotic tale.
What are your turn-ons?
I love a hot body, but I need a great mind as well to get me wet. I like confidence, dark sarcasm, a wicked sense of humour and someone that is sexually adventurous and expressive. Dirty talk and being able to communicate is a huge component of a great sexual experience for me. I find a lot of people aren’t comfortable being psychologically uninhibited enough to really just let themselves go. Moaning and panting are fine, but to really sexually connect with someone I need the eye contact and the intense verbal interplay. If we’re talking about physical turn-ons… someone that knows certain places on my body that are like erogenous buttons will definitely get me excited. That soft-spot along the curve of my neck, running a tongue along my hip bone, or stroking the base of my spine and letting fingers slide into the cleft of my ass are very arousing. I love a good kisser as well, and have been told I’m kind of awesome at it on many occasions (grins)… I guess I’m just good with my lips and tongue. If a guy is, then it can absolutely melt me. Sexually speaking, I enjoy all the standard favourites. I am a girl that finds anal and ass-play to be highly pleasurable and erotic in all forms. I do like rough sex, light domination and humiliation, and threesomes (both MFF and MMF). I would probably indulge some fairly twisted fantasies if I knew that it would excite my partner. I’m always curious about testing my limits and seeing how far I can push things. I’m also sort of a determined girl, so once I set my mind to something, I really go for it. I want the complete experience. I guess you can say that I think of life as a collection of experiences and I’m an avid collector in that regard, both sexually and otherwise.
What are your turn-offs?
I don’t really understand the hardcore BDSM world, other than light bondage, which I find erotic, but I’m not into anything painful, nor am I into any extreme fetishes. They are just worlds that I don’t understand, so you probably won’t see me writing about them anytime soon. I have gone to several fetish parties just for fun and for the visual titillation, but I don’t find them arousing in terms of sexual practice (for me, personally).
Music I frequently listen to
I tend to favour indie artists. I’m a real lyricist, and I appreciate a well-written song. Some of my favourite artists would be Iron & Wine, Lykke Li, Trespassers William, Sia, Aimee Mann and old standbys like Portishead and Mazzy Star. I’ve always loved Radiohead and Coldplay. If I’m at the gym or in a party mood, I listen to house music and trance (Tiesto, Deep Dish, Oakenfold etc). I will always have a deep love and appreciation of instrumental and classical music obviously, my favourites being Saint-Saens, Yo-Yo Ma, George Winston, Sibelius, and various ballet scores that are too numerous to mention.
My favorite work of art is
I stand in reverence of artist and photographer Gregory Colbert. If you are not familiar with his work, I encourage you to visit the website www.ashesandsnow.com for a truly moving experience. I also really love modern black and white photography, particularly the emotive style of Sally Mann, or that of surrealist or abstract photographers like Rodney Smith or modernists like Toni Frissell. I also love portrait photographers like Aneta Kowalczyk and Annie Liebovitz. Anything that conveys raw emotion or creates an unexpected thought, or strikes an uncomfortable nerve will have my instant attention.
I like movies that make a statement and have enough impact to make me remember them after the credits have rolled. I enjoy dark and twisted plot lines (e.g. Tarantino films), psychological thrillers, as well as some independent films with complex character relationships (eg. Closer, Candy, Match Point, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Revolutionary Road, Afterlife etc). I definitely prefer things that don't have 'Hollywood endings', unless I'm in an escapist mood, in which case I like to chew 'movie bubble-gum' just like everybody else. That usually means twisted or dark comedies like Very Bad Things, and The Hangover.
Which websites do you regularly visit
I don’t do a tremendous amount of internet surfing. I do spend a lot of time at Lush. It’s almost always open it the background if I’m using the computer (although I don’t always appear ‘online’). I do enjoy watching internet porn, I’ll admit. And I also like photography websites; preferably black and white, some erotic, but also just unusual still imagery is interesting to me. I find it inspires my thoughts and even my emotions. I also watch quite a bit of professional dance videos for ideas and choreography. Occasionally, I will read weird blogs that feature satire or takes on pop culture or Hollywood gossip just for fun.
What would be a perfect weekend for you
I love the idea of a weekend getaway somewhere cheap and sunny for a couple of days (like maybe Havana, Bahamas or Cabo). Sometimes a little break like that can really recharge the spirit. On a typical weekend, however, I can be quite a homebody. I love relaxed breakfasts, then maybe doing something active like running or the gym. I’ve fallen out of the bar scene over the past year, but I enjoy martinis at a chill lounge with friends, listening to music, or in my ideal world, laying on a beach with a blanket and bottle of wine with someone special, listening to the crash of the surf, under the stars, and having hot anal sex while random passerbys stare at us in shock. Haha… Actually, great sex factors into all concepts of a perfect weekend, obviously… Even shutting the blinds, and staying naked in bed all weekend with dirty martinis, lube, raunchy porn and a video camera would be delicious.
Ideal holiday destination
I’d love somewhere hot and exotic with an interesting culture and the appeal of beautiful beaches… perhaps somewhere like the south of France or Brazil or the Maldives. I’d also love to go to Africa. I like the ideal of having an adventure while traveling. On the other hand, luxuriating on a beach in Hawaii or having margaritas in Mexico are high on my favourite (and more affordable) list of travel destinations.
At home I cook
I cook pretty healthy, or if I’m not cooking it, then I buy pretty healthy things. Lean fish, shellfish, chicken, tofu, quinoa, and lots of veggies are staples. I enjoy ‘grazing’ on things through the day, mostly raw things like nuts and fruits or granola. I’m not a total health-freak though. I love making tacos and hot chili and pizza and all those carb-tastic treats, but I just try to limit indulging in them too often. And, although I don’t cook it, I do love chocolate, preferably dark.
The hardest thing I've ever done was
Actually too difficult for me to discuss publicly. It was the darkest moment of my life, the most painful thing I have ever done, and it’s still too intense for me to relive the memories more than a few times a year, and this simply isn’t one of them.
Most surprising thing people could find out about you
That I’m a bit of a prankster. I have a dark sense of humour and a twisted mind, and most people don’t notice that immediately. They often mistake me for just another sweet innocent blonde at first glance. As such, I find I can get away with a lot more than most people (evil grin). Nobody ever seems to suspect me, and I kind of like keeping it that way. I’ve always thought that being a social chameleon has its advantages.
I don't like talking about...
Boring, irrelevant subjects just to fill the time or silence. I don’t enjoy small talk, and it’s extremely taxing for me when I have to engage in polite chitchat with strangers or people that are more conservatively minded than I am. I can do it if I have to, but I’m watching the clock the entire time and/or looking for an escape route.
What I find amusing is
Pretty much anything that isn’t politically correct. I love sarcasm and satire, and I enjoy entertaining people and making them laugh or getting a reaction. I guess I’m a bit of an attention whore that way. I enjoy the spotlight most of the time. I’m amused by unconventional people that have a dark sense of humour (the darker and more twisted, the better, actually). I’m happy to laugh at myself as well though. I try not to take life too seriously. Even when I indulge in drama, it’s mostly just because I find it entertaining, rather than upsetting. Anything that gets the blood racing and results in sarcastic smirks or rolling laughter is highly desirable.
What I don't find amusing is
People who take themselves too seriously, emotional cutters, or overly bitter people.
If I wasn't me I'd like to be
An actress. I see much of what I write, read or think about as a screenplay of sorts. There are pictures and sounds (and sometimes even a soundtrack) that attaches to most of my memories or thoughts. When I write, it’s like creating a character, or tapping into a part of myself, or an experience, and I love the idea of stepping into someone else’s mind. Writing the story is one thing, but becoming a character and acting things out would be another. Plus I like the whole realm of movie making, and I certainly wouldn’t say no to a bit of fame and adulation, of course. Dark sunglasses, paparazzi and dramatic red carpet moments holds a bit of fantasy appeal to me, I’ll admit. If not that kind of exciting life in the limelight, then I would love to be a successful writer, living in a modern beach house by the ocean, with my laptop and dark dirty nights to inspire me would be awesome… but that might end up being my life one day anyway, so who knows! I believe in dreaming big, baby!
I often wonder...
If I am dreaming, and the last several years of my life never happened, and I’ll wake up one day being 13 years old, in my childhood bedroom, thinking wow… this has all been my overactive imagination creating a false succession of things that never happened. Yeah, I’m weird that way. I like to think of all the angles to life and entertain all the possibilities.
Thanks dancing_doll for you time. We thoroughly recommend you have a read of dancing_doll's work.