Forum posts made by krrraaazzzyguy

Topic Kinky masturbation advice?
Posted 09 Mar 2012 12:12

Share it with a stranger. For example, once I was on the phone seeking tech support for a device I'd recently brought home from the store, and of course I couldn't figure it out. The young woman who got my call in the call center had a wonderfully sexy voice, and so I flirted with her verbally while we sussed out the problem. And it was frankly making me very hot. Since I hadn't given my name or anything like that to her, I decided to have a little fun with her, and so I said something along the lines of "you know, I hate to end this call... you have a very sexy voice, if you don't mind my saying so."

She giggled and thanked me in a sincere, flattered, somewhat embarrassed tone, and said "I'm glad you're pleased" or something similar that wouldn't get her co-workers to wonder.

I decided then and there to double down and so I took a deep breath and said, "Really, I'm serious. Miss, I don't know if you can appreciate how truly sexy your voice is or the effect it can have on men, but to be very honest it's made me very hot, and I'm going to have to do something about that as soon as we're off the phone..." and then I paused just long enough to hear her gasp slightly before saying, "unless you'd like me to do it while we're on the phone together, so you can hear me get off." Then, before she could hang up or rebuke me or anything I rushed to add something like, "I'm sorry I suppose that might seem rude but I just can't help it your voice is so sexy I don't care if it's right or wrong and I think it would be so sexy to hear you talking while I do it, and to know you know...."

There was a long pause, but she didn't hang up. Finally she spoke, timidly saying, "Sir... I... might be able to help you with that, but... I'm not sure. I don't think..."

I interrupted her before she could object and I said, "just pretend you're still helping me with my problem and listen... if you don't want to, you can hang up."

She didn't answer, and I took my cock out. At this point, I was gonna jerk off with or without her listening. But she didn't hang up. "I've got it out now... it's very hard for you."

"I see..." she said, sounding breathless, clearly being careful about what she said. "Are you... going to take the next step now?"

"I am," I said, "I'm stroking my cock right now. Start talking to me so I can hear your voice... it doesn't matter what you say...."

"Oh God," she said softly, and then she began to talk to me randomly about the device I'd called about in the first place, slipping sly sexual references in here and there.

This went on for a while as I told her frankly what I was doing in detail, and she pretended to be talking about tech support. Soon enough I was ready to blow, and told her so, and she said something like, "OK... go ahead and give it a try and tell me how it goes...."

I came hard grunting softly but being careful not to be too loud so the person in the next cubicle wouldn't hear me over her phone, and then when my head cleared I laughed at myself for making such a mess, and she giggled and said something like, "well, it seems like everything worked."

I thanked her, and she said, "no, thank you, sir. It was a PLEASURE doing business with you. But I do need to go now... I think I actually need a break right away."

I laughed and said, "to run to the ladies room and get yourself off now?"

"Yes, of course," she said with an audible grin. "Gotta go. You have a wonderful day, sir, and thanks for choosing (company name redacted to protect the guilty). I appreciated your business."

Ever since then, I sometimes try to draw a sexy sounding customer service girl into a little free phone sex. You'd be surprised how many go for it. And sometimes I don't even tell them, and just jerk off while we talk in secret - which is hot too. Especially when the you know the gal on the other end but couldn't tell her. The one exception is a woman I know (can't say here who) that knows about my penchant for masturbating while talking on the phone, and she thinks it's cute. We agreed once long ago that she would love it if I did it whenever we talk, and whenever we do I do if I have the privacy. I always tell her, and she says things like "enjoy yourself" and "let me know when you're gonna cum", and every so often will ask me how far along I am, and will answer questions like "what are you wearing" etc. She's good about giving me mental pictures too... But this is interspersed with regular conversation.

Topic How do men feel about red headed women?
Posted 09 Mar 2012 11:37

I find redheads especially beautiful. Blondes, brunettes, even rainbow dye jobs have their merits and there are great beauties among all tresses, but something about redheads, especially a pale skinned, freckled beauty with long curly or way red or even orange hair.... I'm helpless against the appeal.

Topic bi or gay males
Posted 09 Mar 2012 11:34

I'm passively bi.... I rarely hear of other guys who are. What's it mean? Well, I've no interest in being fucked in the ass, but I wouldn't mind too much if a bi guy wanted to suck my cock. Likewise, if his ass wasn't too hairy and mannish, I might be willing to bugger him. And I might be willing to suck his cock if I was in just the right mood, and I thought very highly of him, and his cock was very clean. And I would like the chance to do what I just described with a tranny or pretty cross dresser even more than just another guy. The closest I ever came to gay sex though, was when I masturbated with another guy and we just touched our cock heads together briefly as a quick little experiment. Also, I did really enjoy the feeling of another man's cock sliding against mine when we double penetrated the same woman vaginally at the same time - that was an intense experience. Very Reality Bites....

I think of myself as 95% straight, 5% bi-curious.

Topic Honest who has seen a 12 inch penis?
Posted 16 Dec 2010 10:43

Reading my comments over I realized I forgot to mention that the sisters we had our afternoon tryst with in the hotel a good 20 years ago were age 18 and 19, and like us the 18 year old was there to scout out the local college - at which the older sister was already a student.

Probably an important detail...

Topic Honest who has seen a 12 inch penis?
Posted 16 Dec 2010 10:40

My best friend has a 12 inch cock, and I mean exactly 12 inches. How do I know? Well, we used to jerk off to pornos back in the day (there was no internet porn back then, you had to rent it on tape, and his parents didn't care - mine did). I knew he was big, like damn near twice mine, but until one day a girlfriend of his (while he was in college) measured it and actually marked it off with the 12 inch marks, and showed it around the room to a bunch of laughing drunks, myself included, I never knew it was exactly 12 inches long. That guy has a ruler in his pants, LOL...

But, in the years before he got married we discovered something that might be of interest to you all... One afternoon when we were 18 we hooked up with these two sisters in a hotel room (we were staying on our own, they were there with their parents, and supposed to be swimming). We'd met down at the hot tub and each of us guys hit it off with one of the girls, and we talked them into coming to our room with us so we could pair off and play.

We hung up a blanket dividing the room at the girl's insistence, and each paired off on one of the double beds. My girl and I were still making out but my buddy and my girl's sister were gunning their engines and moving things along much more quickly. So, by the time my girl had my cock in her mouth, my buddy was trying to push his monster into his gal.

Needless to say, it wasn't working. She was crying out and going "ow" and "stop" and "hold on" until we heard her order him to pull it out. A minute later, she was on our side of the curtain with tears in her eyes. Of course, the sisters conferred and my more normal or average sized cock standing proudly out shimmering in the one sister's spit didn't escape the other sister's notice, either. And so the girl that had been with my buddy came and took my penis in hand and asked if I would mind opening her up so she could take my friend.

By then my buddy had looked around the curtain and he was nodding to go for it, so we swapped girls, and my "date" for the afternoon went to go play with and suck on my friend's massive manhood to keep him going (which I'm sure she enjoyed, so long as it was just touching and oral) and I proceeded to throw a good fuck into her sister.

The upshot of all this is that when she went back to the other side of the curtain, she was able to take most of my buddy easily, and without complaint. She sure seemed to enjoy it. My girl came back to me and we had a go at it, and when both couples were done we all agreed it was only fair that, now that she too was loosened up by me, she and my buddy should have a go at it since I'd already fucked both sisters. She, too, easily took most of my friend's 12 inches, and enjoyed the ride.

This became a regular thing with us, and we did a lot of double dating (and date sharing) until he met his future wife. She was only a little over 4 feet tall but could easily take a foot in her with room to spare, apparently, and that's good news since it was love at first sight for the both of them - and neither of them even considered bringing anyone else into things. I couldn't be happier for them, by the way... she's like a new extra best friend and we all get along famously.

My point here, for you fellas that have giant cocks your ladies can't handle, is maybe you should team up with a wing-man. Or, maybe ladies playing with a dildo beforehand might help you...

Best of luck to all finding partners who enjoy whatever you're endowed with, and ladies, if you like 'em sized 7 inches or so, slide on over and say hello.... ;)

Topic Calling all men, Lush needs you...
Posted 16 Dec 2010 09:54

You know, I'd gladly do some recording and I've been told I have a sexy voice... but the thing is I think there's already too much of the same voices over and over in the audio stories section.

No offense to whomever the woman is who does most of the reading of the stories I've heard, but as something of an audiophile when it comes to female voices, I'd like to hear a VARIETY of sexy female voices, not the same one over and over again.... And I know there are lots more audiophiles out there with an appreciation for a VARIETY of sexy voices of both genders.

Look, I mean, the effort is appreciated... but the same voice just gets... boring . I'm sorry to say.

And the thing is, I think the ladies would get bored too, hearing MY voice, or ANY one guy's voice, over and over again. Even if it is a nice, sexy voice (they'd have to be the judges of that)... Not only that, but I think the readers themselves get bored with it. Again, I hate to be critical and hurt anyone's feelings, but the readings of some of these stories has seemed pretty rote, the style pretty monotone - especially at first. I'd hate to reach the point were I was bored with reading the stories....

Plus, you know, my voice is a mature man's voice. I sounded a lot different in my 20's than I do now. There are some vocal parts that my voice just doesn't fit ... Take, for example the woman reading the majority of the stories I've heard. Again, I really don't mean to hurt her feelings, but being realistic and honest, her voice is a mature voice. A sexy mature voice, but a mature one all the same . So when she reads the part of a much younger gal in first person, well, it just breaks the spell. And if I'm supposed to be reading the story of some college boy, well, that might not work out quite right for the listener...

Now, one more gripe... Why aren't more AUTHORS recording their OWN stories? I mean, at first I often clicked on a story from a new author I haven't heard before excited to see what she sounds like, only to be disappointed to hear that same old voice AGAIN. Now, I don't get my hopes up... In the case of an author reading their own stories I don't care if their voice doesn't fit the protagonist's part... It's just cool to hear the author read their own story.... The site needs much more of that.

That's my 2 cents....

Topic How does if feel if you dont cum for a long time?
Posted 21 Jun 2010 22:42

Rocco... With all due respect, just because it doesn't cause YOU discomfort, doesn't mean it doesn't cause any of us discomfort. Not all men are the same - we're talking about plumbing here, you know.

That said I agree with you that some men do use this to pressure women to give them some sex of one sort or another, and shame on them for that. Especially when they're like you, Rocco, and don't even have the problem. Which is why I always told my little sisters that if some guy pulls that on her to tell him to go jerk off like he normally does and leave her alone.

Topic If you could, would you do it?
Posted 21 Jun 2010 22:34

Here is my answer:

Topic Who can turn me on in 100 words or less? STORY CHALLENGE
Posted 12 Jun 2010 23:23

Centuries of love and lust, of wanton revelry. Every day lived even when it was killing time. And at last, thirst slaked, they'd had their fill. And so the sunrise, at last, was near. Morning dew on the grass created a cool cocoon for the bare flesh in the rising light, still harmless for a few moments more. And they lay urgently pressed upon, into, around each other. Then, finally, release came, and they lay gazing into each other's eyes in the clear, bright light of dawn, until at last, final release was theirs again. Ashes on the wind.

Topic Twitter Writing Challenge: 140 characters of sexyness
Posted 12 Jun 2010 23:10

Love. Sweat beaded on flesh, soft flesh pressed on hard flesh pressed deeply into soft flesh, desperate urgent motion, pressure building!

Topic How slutty are you?
Posted 12 Jun 2010 22:59

I am:


male slut.

Topic How BIG is your cock for guys and how BIG are your tits for women?
Posted 09 Jun 2010 19:01

It's about 6 inches for jerking off, but for the main event I can get extra turned on and 7.5 inches is the typical length. It kills me when I see these threads in various places online... Guys, you know the dick isn't always the same size every time! There's a range... And it really depends on how horny you gut us, ladies.

I've never measured my own... So I'm guesstimating the jack off size as an average. Good porn gets me harder... And I've had two ladies measure me. One said 7.5, one said 8. The 8 had me really going... or it could have been how she did it. I dunno.

Interestingly, neither gal felt like measuring it for girth I guess, but it's about half dollar sized in that regard, I'd guess.

And, I have ten fingers, & know how to use them.

Most importantly, I can touch my tongue to the tip of my nose, and can dial a rotary phone with it if I want to!

So, ladies... Who wants to take a ride on the Krrraaazzzy Train?

Topic Hard-On
Posted 09 Jun 2010 16:59

Yeah, it generally feels good. And your clothes rubbing on it can feel good too. Sometimes, when you don't want it too. Can be embarrassing. But after a while your testicles can begin to ache (blue balls).

Topic Fake Nipples
Posted 09 Jun 2010 16:46

Well, they're useful in photo shoots because otherwise keeping them hard is a hassle, but wearing them out??? Silly.

Topic Sweet or Slutty?
Posted 09 Jun 2010 16:42

Oh it's about so much more than this. I can handle sweet or slutty so long as she's smart and witty, and just a little bit pretty.

Topic Can you handle edu-porn?
Posted 09 Jun 2010 16:40

Hell yes!! Anything to broaden my horizons and be a better lover. Plus, I'm sure she's more mature now but Penny Flame was always hot. I'd watch her mow her lawn!

Topic Help! Vagina, Pussy, Cunt... what to call it....
Posted 01 Jun 2010 00:47

I was thinking... of things to call it "wet meadow."
(it's the lost meaning of the word "Fitta" translated to english = cunt. I was reading one of my old swedish poems and thought about it.)

And now the word "cunt" doesn't seem demeaning, but rather a little beautiful.... Glad to know the origin of it!

Topic if you had the person above you bent over, what would you do to them?
Posted 31 May 2010 22:34

I would twist my hand in your long hair and pull your head back until your neck was curved and your back arched. I would lean in over you, pressing my turgid manhood to your soft, fleshy rear, letting you feel the contrast of my solid bar of lust pushing insistently against you. My lips would find your neck and I would kiss first one side of it from below your ear to your shoulder, and then the other, before twisting your torso to lock our tongues in a heated duel...

And that's just for starters...

Topic Votes and Comments
Posted 23 May 2010 22:25

The comments are my bread and butter. They are what I live for. They tell me if my audience likes or dislikes my work. Constructive criticism is the best, because you can kill anyone's passion with unwarranted harshness. The votes are good, but I am not in a race with anyone.

I second that!

One thing that I don't care for is when people start telling me what to write, ala "great so far, no get him to fuck his next door neighbor in the back of a pickup truck parked at a shopping mall", that sort of thing. If you want that fantasy, the YOU write it, is how I feel! I do think the "embellish" feature might be neat for those folks, not sure, haven't tried it yet. But it might be why it's not so big an issue here as it was on that other site...

One thing that bewilders me is when the reader doesn't distinguish me from the characters. I always chuckle when guys comment about how they're jealous that I have hot daughters or a sexy wife, etc. I'm single and haven't got any daughters, and I'm the author of the story, not it's protagonist... Haha... Oh well, at least they enjoyed it!

Topic Skinny or Curvy?
Posted 23 May 2010 09:56

For the record, I am NOT Steve Martin or Dan Aykroyd. But I do look kinda like John Belushi.

Here's the thing... You know how I just said I LOOK LIKE John Belushi? Well, that's the truth. It's entirely possible that Tainted could have just looked LIKE Twiggy, but she clearly WASN'T Twiggy (or if she was she was lying about her age). And she couldn't have been all those different people on her profile, all of whom she claimed to be.

I actually think that Tainted WAS a woman, and probably a slender woman. Not a "fat guy in Cleveland" as has been said here. And here's why... Why would a fat guy in Cleveland or anywhere else fish for compliments like that? That's a very feminine move if you ask me. I don't think fat male posers care much about whether other guys prefer skinny or curvy girls. I mean I just don't think that's keeping them up at night, you know. But for a very skinny woman, body issues might plague her, and prompt her to ask such a question...

It doesn't matter though. She was a liar, and she didn't have to be. She said the photo of Twiggy from 1968 was a recent photo of her, and that so were all the photos of various women on her profile. When all she had to say was she looked LIKE those women in some way. For example, "I'm skinny like this", "I have hair like this", "my nose is like this", etc. That would have been fine!

I think a lot of us, myself included, don't want a photo of ourselves posted to sex sites, whether it's because of our jobs or our families or whatever. That's fine. But honestly, don't lie about it. Just say you look kinda LIKE this or that, people will get the general idea! But if you lie and say you ARE this person or that, you've crossed the line. Not only does it insult people's intelligence, you're actually messing with the reputation of someone else.

And then there's the fact that the photo in particular she used was such a famous piece of art. As a photographer myself I have great respect for the art of photography. I'm sure Mr. Lategan didn't want his work being used in such a way and neither did Twiggy. And that was the proverbial "straw that broke a camel's back" for me. That's why I broke loose and called BS here.

I'm glad I did, though. Let this be an object lesson for all you would-be flushies out there... Come clean! Don't say you ARE someone you're not, say you look like someone you do. Now you're not a liar, or in line to become the next Flushie Of The Month!

Topic Skinny or Curvy?
Posted 22 May 2010 20:51

That's it. I can see it now. The term "flushies" is gonna stick around here. Seen it before, when slang gets invented - and that's what it looks like.

Topic Would you consider a labiaplasty?
Posted 22 May 2010 08:25

... In other words, do it for money if you want to, ladies, but please, don't do it for love.

Sorry for taking it out of the context, but this sentence is just too funny and very truth not to be. Thank you for making me laugh!

You're right... taken out of context, this is the opposite advice I might give on other obvious topics... Very funny!

Topic How to approach you when you're just running errands?
Posted 22 May 2010 08:18

OK, ladies... Imagine for a moment that you're in a public place like a grocery store, a shopping mall, a farmer's market, a laundromat, etc. Someplace you'd be sober, and minding your own business. You might be dressed nicely, but not to kill. You're there alone or with some girlfriends, but don't have a boyfriend with you. If you're a single Mom, maybe you have the kids with you, maybe you don't.

I'm there minding my own business, too. At least, until I see you. I didn't go there looking to meet girls, but having seen you I don't want to miss what could be my only chance to meet you, and I want to make the right impression. Which is: I'm a nice guy, but don't think I'm not also a little naughty when the time is right. I might not mind being friends, but I'd be more of a friend "with benefits" than in the "friend zone". I want you to be thinking of me as a potential date/lover by the time I'm through. I *DON'T* want you thinking of me as just another guy who hit on you, or a new "friend" you made - at least, not until we gave "more than friends" the 'ol college try!

Also, If we go based on looks alone, you're probably out of my league. I'm not bad looking, but you're a knock out - good looking enough, at least, to make a guy who's just running some errands stop and take notice. But I've got a lot going for me if we can get past my basic guy next door looks, and I'm not afraid to approach you. And I'm smart enough to know that guys probably stare at you all day long, or make crude comments, or try in some miserably inept way to hit on you, and likewise some smarmy player types are hitting on you too, and that you're probably fairly annoyed with it all much of the time - so I'm going to take a different, or at least more original, or bolder approach. Somehow I'm going to level that playing field...

So how should I do it? What could I say or do that would rock your world just a little? My goal is simple: to either walk away with your phone number, and you hoping I'll call soon, or to at least make your day, and leave you feeling good about yourself. A home run would be we're leaving there together for coffee, and who knows what... but in your mind anything is still possible as we walk out the door. A base hit would be me leaving you feeling flattered and with a positive enough impression of me that, should we ever run into each other again, you'd turn the tables and approach me. Striking out would be leaving you wishing guys like me would just leave you alone.

So, suggestions? What do you wish guys would do in these situations, that most either don't think of, or haven't got the guts to do?

Topic Skinny or Curvy?
Posted 22 May 2010 06:46

Did she really thought that nobody will notice that she is not Twiggy most famous English model (beside Kate Moss, lol) in the 60', ooh com on? She was first super model and I so wish I entered here sooner to ask her about those days of peace and love, so funny.

I know, right?

Topic Skinny or Curvy?
Posted 22 May 2010 06:45


What was our "guest" called in this thread before they deleted their account, Twiggyoudini?

It was Tainted Rainbow I think. I'm sure it was Tainted something or other...

Topic Would you buy cum?
Posted 20 May 2010 22:42

A girl came running home to Mommy, crying.

"What's the matter," the Mother asked, concerned.

"Bobby said you show me yours and I'll show you mine and I said OK, and he showed me his, but I didn't have one," the girl cried, looking distraught.

"Oh, honey," the wise Mother replied, "don't worry. When you're old enough you can have as many of those as you want."

That old joke answers this question for most of the ladies, I'd hazard a guess, as well as anything.

Topic "He wasted his fortune in alcohol, gambling and women" ?
Posted 20 May 2010 22:30

The problem with all this using is the mind games that go with it. If you just wanna say "you use me this way, I'll use you that way, we'll both give what we've got and get what we want. Deal?" then that would be a lot better than this "I love you, buy me stuff" routine so many people try to play.

Topic Pussy Spanking
Posted 20 May 2010 22:23

OK, ladies... This is more popular than I thought. I've had good luck with it though, but I just figured it was the girls I dated. Now I'm thinking it's more mainstream.

One thing I've noticed though is some girls want it harder than others... So how about it girls. If you like it, how HARD do you like it?

Guidelines are always helpful!

Topic Skinny or Curvy?
Posted 20 May 2010 22:08

I ask because the girl in the "skinny" picture... is me.


Sorry, but I gotta call bullshit on this one.

That is a photo of Twiggy Lawson taken in the UK in 1968 which was shot by photographer Barry Lategan, wearing a signature 1960's Mary Quant design. The photo was entitled "Scarf".

Proof: or click here .

On your profile you claim to be a model, and also claim that several photos of various women in your image gallery are all you. Sorry, that's also bullshit. You might be a model, but you're not all those women, and those are NOT all the same woman.

Normally I let BS like this go. But I have too much respect for the art to let this one go. If you'd said the girl in the skinny picture looks a lot like you, that would have been one thing. But the way you did it... I gotta call you out.

Did you really think you could post a famous photo and call it you, and no one would notice?

Topic Long Nails?
Posted 20 May 2010 21:26

Gotta echo what these two guys said:

I love long nails.. scraping down my back.. teasing me.. raking my nipples at just the right moment.. and the slow clawing during sex...

For me ,, it is the part where the woman seems to be more confident that she is attractive ,, and she will feel more like she is in fact a lady ,, rather than just one of the guys .

I am used to being around women in blue jeans and workboots. ,, So .,, when a women comes along in a nice dress ,, and heels ,, and feeling and acting like a lady . ,, For me it is a treat.
Now back to the answer about the long nails . ,,, I think it just adds to the whole image of a beautiful women.

Not all women can do this ,, Their job can hinder this .,, But it is nice to see women who can.

And let me add this... A nice back scratching with nimble feminine fingers tipped with long, strong nails is a luxury, and so is the sight of long, brightly colored nails resting on my thigh, or wrapped in heated moments around my manhood. I consider long nails a wonderful part of feminine style, and a woman's sex appeal.

But I realize not all women can have them long all the time. Some get along wonderfully with them and it's all second nature to them - which I find adds to the wonderful aura of mystery about her. But some just can't. And ironically I love them too. Something about a tom-girl who can do her share and isn't worrying about breaking a nail or getting ehr hands dirty which makes a fella grin!

And all that is why I say falsies are the ticket. Press ons, or go get some acrylics done. I'll pay! And whenever the first time comes that they'll get in the way, then snip them off, or peel them away. Just make sure we have some fun with them, first. A nice date night, with festivities later. :)

That's my 2 cents worth, anyhow...

No way falsies are horrible the feel terrible on the skin and when they break they hurt like a mother... I keep mine long and natural and painted soft pink and keep a pedi cure nice and neet no nasty feet or dirty fingernails and I do my fair share of work and still keep my nails nice I even can change a tire with them it just depends on the women... because I like to rake the back and torso of my lover not to harm him just to make it more intense...

Press ons are OK if you're just going out for dinner and want that long nail look, but you're right they do feel fake on the skin. Acrylics however feel pretty much just like the real deal. But you gotta have them done someplace good. When I used to not be single I would take her to the place where it was almost twice as much, but that bought cleanliness and quality. She used to make me pay for the fancy nail art too. Didn't mind one bit! She would also buy stuff to do her own fill-ins at home.

Once in a while she'd even go back in to have them ground off for a while. It all got a bit pricey, about $50 a month which could've gotten us all the good movie channels & sports packages, but once she started working her magic with those fingers I didn't care what games or movies I'd missed.