Topic my girlfriend doesnt let me lick her
02 May 2012 08:42
The girl I lost my virginity to had a similar fear of it. Her reason was that she didn't like the taste. If I had it on my mouth, she wouldn't enjoy kissing me as much. Many years later, when she was in another relationship, I convinced her to "get over it" (that took more than a decade), and once she allowed her current husband to do it, she found out it's actually quite enjoyable. Now she can't get enough. But it probably took her 15 years to come around (and to cum around - that was the first time she orgasmed with a partner as well).
The trick I learned about cunnilingus, when I had a 12-hour lesson from a lesbian, is that it doesn't matter what you think your "technique" is. Every vagina is gloriously unique, and every woman attached to it, even more so. It's not about "to finger or not to finger", it's about what feels right and pleasurable to her. Watch her, and you'll have a good time. I don't mean that you should stare at her with an "Am I doing this right?" look on your face. Watch her hips, see how they roll. Look at her belly to see when she takes a sudden intake of breath. If that was in response to a thing you did, try doing that again. It may not be that you touched a certain part of her, but that you worked up to it in a way that took her breath away. Or, maybe you touched her just right. You can't guess at this - trial and error goes a long way. Be willing to fail, and you'll be better prepared to succeed.
The other trick I've learned is not so much about cunnilingus, as it is about all sex. It's communication. I've had some of my best orgasms in the throes of laughter. Keep talking while you're going down on her. Ask her what she likes. Tell her what you're doing. Every once in a while, stop kissing her there, and kiss her lips, neck, arms, breasts, tummy, ankles, etc. Remind her and yourself why you're doing what you're doing - it's about both of you, and the more you communicate, the more connected you'll feel, and the more fun you'll both have.
Her ex didn't touch her in a bad place (most likely), he touched her in a way that made her uncomfortable. When you touch her, remember that you're touching her, not just a pussy. And don't rule out anything you have available that may be helpful - your tongue isn't that much different from a finger. It's more dextrous and flexible, and self-lubricating, but if you're doing it right, lubrication won't be an issue, and there are parts of her that your tongue just can't reach. When you and she are comfortable enough (or just when you've got her over the moon and everything is exciting), slip a finger in and feel for her g-spot. It's that spongy part right past the first hump inside, on the front wall. Note that at different times, with different stimulation, it's a completely different place, size, and reaction. If you go for it before she's properly worked up, you may not find it at all. Or, you may just make her feel like she has to pee. If you get it at the right moment, you might surprise her with her first squirting orgasm. The trick is not to be goal-oriented. Let it come naturally. What you're doing is a shared experience. And it's more about her than it is you.
Also, careful with that clit, man. A little goes a long way.