Forum posts made by magical_felix

Topic Guys - do you have any problem with her getting rough and physical with you - such as smacking your
Posted 12 May 2015 09:26

One of my exes used to punch me in the face.

Topic If you don't, then this relationship won't work
Posted 12 May 2015 09:04

I did break up with a guy because he wanted oral every time we had sex but wouldn't return the favour because it was "dirty"

.........some girls are dirty though.

I dated a chick who was really attractive and all that but the first time I went down there I almost fainted. Later on I tried to casually recommend some douche but of course it didn't go that well. But the next day she did call me from the store - while with her sister in law obviously talking about how much of an asshole I was for telling her to douche - asking if hawaiian breeze sounded better than morning dew or whatever the fucking scents were. She bought some and used it. Guess what? Her pussy started getting ate.

Topic What's a good, sexy female name for an erotic story?
Posted 11 May 2015 18:38

:) Ana Linjector took me a few seconds.

That's good because usually you want to take your time with that.

Topic what is your brand of pleasure/pain?
Posted 11 May 2015 10:35

I date crazy chicks. Like, totally bonkers.

Topic Would you lick her pussy after you came in?
Posted 11 May 2015 09:40


Topic Club Zafia....
Posted 11 May 2015 07:44

Saw you making eyes at me
Hotels are loneliest
In little miss New Jersey
Back to work and on your feet
And oh, you're so far away
And God knows when
I'd ever get the chance
To touch your hands
You know we'll never date
Let alone be friends
You're so far away
It hurts so bad

Softly walk away from me
Goodbyes are loneliest
When you know we'll never meet
Face to face or feet to feet
And oh, you're so far away
And God knows when
I'd ever get the chance
To touch your hands
You know we'll never date
Let alone be friends
You're so far away
It hurts so bad
It hurts so bad
It hurts so bad

Topic Girls wearing tall socks
Posted 11 May 2015 07:29

Topic What Are The Most Memorable Movie Scenes That Have Stayed With You Always?
Posted 08 May 2015 15:18

Real acting.

Topic Number of Sex Partners a Dealbreaker?
Posted 08 May 2015 15:02

Haha, that guy definitely is the biggest asshole that has ever walked on earth. laughing8


Topic Number of Sex Partners a Dealbreaker?
Posted 08 May 2015 14:51

It depends. Like if we lived in some small town and she fucked 300 of the yokels then that would be some 6 degrees of cock type shit and I wouldn't like knowing every dude knows at least someone that's banged her if they haven't themselves. I really don't like running into my girlfriend's exes, one night stands or fuck buddies and I especially don't like it when one of those is a friend of mine.

If I was new to some big city and she came at me with a 300 count I would be like "what the fuck, you're such a hooker..." But I wouldn't care all that much. It's still pretty damn high though. It would be a major compliment that after all that, it's my dick she stuck with. It would be a hard thing not to mention during a fight though, like one of those stupid jealousy fights or something. "Oh yeah, I was a little too nice to the waitress? WELL YOU FUCKED 300 GUYS."

Topic Booze and Sex
Posted 08 May 2015 14:07

It increases my chances, I'll tell you hoowhat.

Topic Today in Pictures (post a picture representing your mood)
Posted 08 May 2015 09:34

Topic When do you masturbate?
Posted 08 May 2015 09:33

In other words, you're constantly masturbating? Think

I am better at typing with my left hand than my right.

Topic Story Posters
Posted 07 May 2015 19:28

Topic Today in Pictures (post a picture representing your mood)
Posted 07 May 2015 18:58

Topic What is your favorite Beatles song?
Posted 07 May 2015 13:40

- I cant belp but sing this and Yellow Submarine in the bath :)

Haha yes, ultimate shower songs.

Topic What do you do to stay fit?
Posted 07 May 2015 07:01

I get on the treadmill behind the girl with a big butt on the stepper.

Topic What's on your sexual bucket list?
Posted 07 May 2015 06:36

Having not one, but two big butts in my face. My entire head covered by big butt, basically.

Topic Your Favourite Sex Act
Posted 07 May 2015 06:31

Tapping a big butt.

Topic When do you masturbate?
Posted 07 May 2015 06:27

When I think about big butts.

Topic What stories would you like to see more of on lush?
Posted 07 May 2015 06:25

More stories with big butts in them.

Topic Girls wearing tall socks
Posted 06 May 2015 22:22

Topic Remember your loved one – by putting their ashes in a dildo...
Posted 06 May 2015 17:16

I have to assume you can pass it down from generation to generation, and after a few generations, you can no doubt amass quite a're next of kin will surely love you all the more for it...

Imagine being present at the reading of Grandma's will, and suddenly you hear "And to my favorite grandson, Felix, I leave Uncle Lawrence and Aunt Harriet's Dildurns"...

I mean, how can you not help but feel truly loved...btw Felix, I have to admit I'm more than a bit impressed with the name "Dildurn"...just did a quick search, and apparently the URL has yet to be registered... - Search Results

Yeah, I'll tell about a golden opportunity for some entrepreneurial type...I mean, we're talking about an opportunity here the likes of which we may never see again in our lifetime...Regaeman Man

You can have the dildurn concept. It's all yours. When you are a rich man you can thank me by giving a complimentary dildurn to my old lady when it's my time to check out. A 13.5 x 8 inch dildurn.

Topic How big of a Bitch, am I? Be honest.
Posted 06 May 2015 17:12

I'm with the Matriarch, we need a story to determine true bitchness! (yes I know that's not a word)

Well, bitches like to pull the silent treatment a lot. So I mean, in a bitchy way, there is a story there.

Topic What do you think would make porn better?
Posted 06 May 2015 14:44

Bigger butts.

Topic Daughter or son brings home older bf or gf and there older then u or same age what would you do
Posted 06 May 2015 12:45

I would be totally nice and all that and I would even attend his funeral after the freak accident that would happen to him a short while after meeting me.

Topic What would you do if you came home and found your girlfriend masturbating?
Posted 06 May 2015 12:10

Topic Ideas for chicken skin
Posted 05 May 2015 22:10

Like anything, now and again isn't going to hurt. It's so yummy :) x

Look, this chicken skin recipe doesn't sound all that great. It's a salad and there isn't even a dressing. It sounds pretty shit, to be honest. But the thought of you enthusiastically trying to make it and potentially making me eat my words along with your chicken skin. That is great. You go ahead and prepare that chicken skin, Danielle. Make the best chicken skin you can make, and you go right on ahead and enjoy the shit out of that chicken skin.

Topic Should creationism be taught in schools?
Posted 05 May 2015 21:54

And this is the nub of the problem. You have a predetermined set of beliefs which the world must conform to no matter how much you must twist the evidence, or flat out ignore enormous swathes of evidence and understanding of how the world works to try to support those beliefs. The irony is that you attempt to use science to disprove science, cherry picking bits that you think support your predetermined view. Unfortunately when seen as a whole the attempt is woefully inadequate. Science has no predetermined views. There is no ancient evolution text that scientists wave about to support their view, it is simply the most logical conclusion from the evidence. Adherents occasionally get caught up in dogma, staking their reputation on a particular line of reasoning but they are soon found out by the next generation if the evidence goes against them. There is no surer way to acclaim in science than to upend the prevailing view.

To put it simply. It's anti-science.

Instead of: Asking a question --> Doing some research --> Forming a hypothesis --> Testing and experimenting --> And drawing a conclusion.

Creationists will: Draw a Conclusion --> Research??? --> Believe

Topic Should creationism be taught in schools?
Posted 05 May 2015 21:38

If humanity hadn't been killing so many and were looking after Creation like God says to in the Bible then they wouldn't be going extinct in the first place.

Why did God create assholes who hunt animals to the point of extinction for a few bucks? What's up with that? What is the point of creating that?

Also, have you had your wisdom teeth removed? You don't really need them anymore, right? Did God create us to evolve out of needing our wisdom teeth? Or is it just an example of evolution in action today?