Forum posts made by magical_felix

Topic Guys, what are your thoughts on giving 'golden showers'?
Posted 06 Mar 2013 17:07

I'll piss on a chick. I'll piss on her cat and her couch too. I don't give a fuck.

Topic This will require some deep thought.....
Posted 06 Mar 2013 17:05

As a cyber attorney I expect to be seeing you in cyber court. Failure to pay cyber support is a serious offence.

She said she was on the pill. You'll be hearing from my cyber attorney shortly. This is entrapment.

Topic This will require some deep thought.....
Posted 06 Mar 2013 17:04

It's your baby, too. Asshole.

A real man takes responsibility.

You knew the deal. I told you I don't fuck around with any of that shit. You said you wanted this dick anyway.

You know where to find me if you want another one.

Topic This will require some deep thought.....
Posted 06 Mar 2013 16:46

I have a cyber baby-momma but in no way do I get involved in taking care of the little fucker, that's her job.

Topic Dear Agony Aunt
Posted 06 Mar 2013 16:39

My online master had this affliction, and so I did my best to offer relief within my body. It seemed to work, but now I'm lush-pregnant. :

All I wanted was to have a little fun, you know? He told me not to worry, and now I'm stuck with the consequences...

You've been served notice, Jack. Lush-child support is in order....asshole.

Bitch... You can't get pregnant through the butt.

Topic Club Zafia....
Posted 04 Mar 2013 17:21

Topic Club Zafia....
Posted 04 Mar 2013 17:11

Topic Gay Men
Posted 04 Mar 2013 16:10

I had a gay thought once about Dick Butkus, he was a tight-end, and I...

Topic new girlfriend, the sex addict...?
Posted 04 Mar 2013 15:49

I'm guessing you've never dealt with actual addicts. You know, gambling, drugs, alcoholics, etc. Addiction is a destructive life-consuming thing. I suspect the person who said they were a "sex addict" isn't REALLY addicted to it .

What are you basing this on?

Topic The Gun Control Debate Thread.
Posted 04 Mar 2013 15:47

You didn't say anything wrong. I watched the clip of the VP. He tells people that all you need is a shotgun to scare off the bad guys. That shotguns are better than rifles. That rifles are harder to shoot. That the mere sound of a gunshot is enough to protect ones home. Dumbass!

If you don't like guns don't fucking buy one. If you know nothing about them take a gawed-damn class. If you think loud noise is enough go get an airhorn. Now I am not saying loud noise doesn't work. My grandparents use alarms set off by noise. It has kept them safe for the last twenty years. They don't need guns. They don't like guns. That is their choice.

Topic Girls wearing tall socks
Posted 04 Mar 2013 10:37

Topic Girls wearing tall socks
Posted 04 Mar 2013 10:37

Topic Girls wearing tall socks
Posted 04 Mar 2013 10:34

Topic Girls wearing tall socks
Posted 04 Mar 2013 10:34

Topic Pics of women
Posted 04 Mar 2013 10:09

3. Spread those cheeks princess.

Topic Why Do Straight Guys Fall For Gay Girls?
Posted 04 Mar 2013 09:54

Mr. Ford

Superstition, you are the sunshine of my life and I just called to say I love you are some of the greatest songs of all time. Leave the man alone, bruh.

Topic how to deal with a nuisance caller?
Posted 04 Mar 2013 09:22

This is your imagination failing you, Padawan.

Okay so let's suspend disbelief and this guy doesn't break your hip and you kick his ass... Now you get arrested. This is a stupid plan dude. straight youngling learner shit.

Topic Transvestites
Posted 04 Mar 2013 09:10

LOL I speak fluent typo.... I think she meant Transvestite.

You must be a goddamn detective!

Topic how to deal with a nuisance caller?
Posted 04 Mar 2013 08:55

Failing all the above, my first instinct would be to convince my ladyfriend to attempt to woo him with sweet talk... to gain his confidence and to then attempt to set a meeting date with the cretin - of course at a public location.

With you watching from a distance of not more than five good striding steps away from their table.

You obviously see where I'm going with this scenario. I'll leave the rest to your own devious imagination (for my own protection).

It would be funny if he kicked your ass though...

Topic Today in Pictures (post a picture representing your mood)
Posted 04 Mar 2013 08:52

Topic ladies would u like to wear panties wet in your or your patner's juice?
Posted 04 Mar 2013 08:13

When his cum has soaked into my vaginal walls - usually in about 4 hours - the elastoplast can be removed without fear of any leakage.

Wait... Hold the phone.

Are saying you keep the cum in your vagina until it is completely gone? like it gets totally absorbed?

This gives me the feeling you may not be smelling like a summer's eve. confused1

Topic Django Unchained
Posted 04 Mar 2013 08:09

Sorry 'bout that dyslexic spelling Jack but now that I see it I think I like Durango better than Django.

That's Master Jack, moonlight.

Topic Horror genre has been killed
Posted 04 Mar 2013 08:06

Ohhhh yeah, I heard about your Grandma!!

My grandma was a hip hip lady, man.

Topic Your Favorite Celebrity Crush
Posted 04 Mar 2013 08:02

I have always had a thing for Milla Jovovich.

Recently I find myself watching stuff I wouldn't normally because Jennifer lawrence is in it.

Topic When with virgins...
Posted 04 Mar 2013 07:41

When with virgins...

Have you guys ever taken advantage of a girls inexperience in any way?
By fx. talked her in to doing stuff, which she had not formed an opinion of?

Love LPF <3

By definition... If she is a virgin, wouldn't any "stuff" you talk her into doing be sorta new to her?

She was real drunk ( I would pick up 7 up and wine for the two of them before I came over) and she then asked me to spend the night with her.

I just got a visual of Chris Hansen walking into the room and asking scott ford to "take a seat over there" then chris hansen pulling out the bottle of seven up and wine out of his grocery bag and asking him "who the beverages are for" in that disapproving tone he does. Then scott ford nervously saying "she asked me to spend the night, I just wanted to make sure she was safe sir".

Topic Advice for first date with really cute girl please?
Posted 04 Mar 2013 07:27

Just get her laughing. easier said than done, I know. But really, besides her being attracted to you physically, it's probably the most important thing on a first date.

Also when you are walking into and out of a place, open the door but also place your hand on her lower back. Girls like that. It's non-aggressive physical contact but it can also be stimulating to her in many ways. It can make her comfortable and also maybe crave a little more contact by the end of the night.

Remember, funny. Try to be funny but not stupid. It is still the most important thing.

Topic Club Zafia....
Posted 03 Mar 2013 12:53

Topic Horror genre has been killed
Posted 03 Mar 2013 11:56

Current horror films have way too much gore. Classics like the Hound of the Baskervilles, or the Raven. Those engage your mind to the point you are far morw terrified than seeing a decapitation.

Oh yeah... I think I remember my grandma saying that was scary.

Topic Never Been In Love....
Posted 03 Mar 2013 11:43

I believe in love, not in soul mates. Some love is fleeting, some lasts forever. You will know when you've found it.

A very wide reaching answer from someone with the screen name Delphi, lol

...what was wrong with her answer? It was a good one.

Topic Names for your parts? It can't be worse than this...
Posted 03 Mar 2013 11:37

My boobs are my "Ta-Ta's" ( pronounced Tar Tar's) It's fairly common to hear that here.

I have heard tartar used to describe semen.

Gross, I know.