Forum posts made by magical_felix

Topic What is a SLUT to you?
Posted 15 Jan 2018 22:19

Somebody who doesn’t clean their room.

This is surprisingly accurate.

Topic H&M: "Coolest monkey in the jungle"
Posted 15 Jan 2018 22:11

I'll be honest, I never saw this as racist, however I do agree it's a clear case of bad judgement.

Not surprising since you once admitted to singling out black children in your classroom as “purple”. You said you call them purple. Fucking purple.

Topic Trump speaks at a 4th grade level
Posted 15 Jan 2018 22:06

I can't disagree with your analysis based on my two samples. I get a mean count of 1.85 and 1.43 syllables respectively. It would be fun to test the upper limit of the scale by using words like scrumdidiliumptious and contrafibulations.

D x

You should... plug in that Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious song... I’m sure it will turn up the highest grade level. I’m on my phone and days away from a computer or I would myself.

Topic LIKE option on Blog
Posted 15 Jan 2018 22:03

It would be much better if you posted your suggestion here:

Gav and Nicola both look at that thread and decide what goes onto the To Do List.


If I could dislike your post, I would, John.

Topic Which are you?
Posted 15 Jan 2018 21:58

I’m a motherfucker

Topic Trump speaks at a 4th grade level
Posted 15 Jan 2018 21:29

It is pretty obvious when we listen to him talk. The amount of gibberish he spews far outweighs anything which sounds logical, thoughtful or reasoned. I bet he could fuck up a dirty joke.

It all begs the question - how did this fucking idiot (quoting Rex Tillerson here) ever manage a passing grade in any class he attended while he was at college? How did he get accepted into any college?

I used to think Sarah Palin was the dumbest person/politician I ever heard mangle sentences. I was wrong.

You need to work on being more accessible to a neutral audience. You come off as a filthy hermit, grey box PC with duct tape holding it together, old twat.


Topic Trump speaks at a 4th grade level
Posted 15 Jan 2018 21:26

Actually, in communication, a lower score makes you more accessible to a wider audience. In that regard, Trump is a very effective communicator. Why would anyone want to read something that requires them to get a Ph.D. just to comprehend it? Some of the worst-written things I've read are academic theoretical texts. They'll take a fairly simple straight-forward idea, dress it up in a lot of esoteric language to make it seem more profound than it really is, and then repeat themselves ad nauseum (bonus points for metaphorically tossing around a bunch of poorly applied concepts from the quantum physics for dummies manual).

Good writing should be simple and concise (among other things).


Topic Trump speaks at a 4th grade level
Posted 15 Jan 2018 21:22

This is interesting. Taking two random passages from my latest story, I got two different scores.

I got a FK of 16.6 for this:

Meanwhile, in the world of politics, a journey of a different kind was taking an unexpected turn as the reservations of the Democratic Unionists over border control agreements between London and Brussels was threatening the Conservative’s flimsy majority. Following the recent by-election defeat in Essex, the arithmetic in parliament was becoming decidedly dodgy. Reassurances from the Prime Minister earlier in the year, that there would be no hard border weren’t being upheld by the recent negotiations. Risking the ire of the province with implications that could threaten the fragile power sharing agreement, elicited a statement from Arlene Foster, at a late afternoon press conference.

Though I got only 10.6 for this:

Emily made a series of short gasping breaths as the sensitivity of Abby’s touch made her shiver. Abby began to nibble Emily’s neck, her tongue circling under her ear and then leaving tiny pink marks, which faded slowly.

The fading light took any heat with it and there was a chill in the air, carried on the breeze that moved the leaves around the campus. The girls hugged for warmth, but their bodies touched with a wanton shamelessness, grinding against each other in their skimpy outfits. Emily became woozy, not from the alcohol but intoxicated by Abby’s kisses and the lustful way that she was caressing her body. Now they wanted to be somewhere warm and totally private and it was Emily who led Abby by the hand to her halls of residence.

I don't what this means, but at least I don't need to go back to school, on this small unscientific sample


It’s based on syllables in the words you use as far as I understand. So more syllables equals “harder to read”. Something I think isn’t something to brag about as a writer. When it comes to storytelling that is.

Topic Trump speaks at a 4th grade level
Posted 15 Jan 2018 21:19

The opening passage of Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice scores 4.5 on the Flesch-Kincaid scale.

Was Jane Austen a retard, or are readability scales just horse shit?

The latter.

Topic Trump speaks at a 4th grade level
Posted 15 Jan 2018 21:17

I actually forgot what a pain it can be to copy and paste on the site, and I've been on my phone all weekend so only just got to this. This extract gets a 15.6 on the FK scale.

Beads of sweat formed on Belle’s forehead, her open mouth silently voicing her pleasure. She allowed herself to get completely lost in the moment, blocking out the reality of her circumstance and denying to herself the true material origins of the ecstasy she was now experiencing, pretending the looming orgasm was for her alone to enjoy. Her bared chest heaved with her heavy breaths and quickening pulse, her vividly pink nipples erect from a mixture of arousal and the perpetual draught that seeped through the decades-old window into her closet-like bedroom.

Holding the proportionally ginormous device that had been delivered two days prior with both of her pale, child-like hands, she could not help but think, despite her misgivings at having received it in such a fashion, that the Hitachi Magic Wand really did live up to the hype. She knew other girls who used it regularly, even to the point of mild addiction, but she had found it difficult to believe that anything could be so dramatically better than your run-of-the-mill sex toy. Now, with all the “intensity” she had heard so much about pulsing fiercely against her clitoris and surging through her petite body, Belle could not deny that there was certainly something “magic” about it.

Then it hit, long expected yet so surprising. Her whole body reacted in quite a fortuitously spectacular way, her legs clamping the toy in place as an immutable scream sought to break through her ceiling to waken, and not for the first time, the elderly couple living above her, whose lack of technology savvy she had for months been capitalising on to avoid paying for her own internet access. The climax, if only for that brief time, transported Belle from her mouldy, three-roomed flat to a world in which she felt no shame, no self-loathing—a world in which she felt truly sexy, and genuinely proud of who and what she was. For those few seconds, while physically overcome by her orgasm, she felt beautiful.

In what might have been construed as a contortionist’s performance, her back arched quite of its own accord, thrusting her trembling hips up and forward and bending her body in a way she had not known possible. Her muscles tensed and relaxed in an orgasmic wave from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. The relentless pulse of the wand caused her tight, teenage pussy to spasm uncontrollably, gushing out an unprecedented volume of her sexual discharge. Breathless from the excruciating ecstasy, she pushed the offending device forcefully from her, leaving it to vibrate and buzz violently against the uncarpeted floor.

Belle continued to twitch, her eyes still closed and her breaths still short and sharp, as she gradually drifted back to the real world, the unceasing pings from her laptop indicating new messages beginning to register in her mind once again. When at last she regained her composure, she hoisted herself up onto her shoulders and spread her knees, exposing her still dripping cunt to the nearby camera which had just broadcast one of her most intimate sexual moments to approximately two thousand rapt viewers around the globe, many of whom were now expressing their delight at what was, even by Belle’s standards, a top class performance.

As Belle glanced across her screen, she wished that some of those gentleman who happened to enjoy her show a great deal would express their delight in a somewhat less graphic and vulgar fashion. Sadly, she had grown numb in the last five months to the perverted comments, finding the exchanges in which she found herself obligated to engage extraordinarily monotonous. Donning her best false grin, she stared intensely into the camera as she scooped up some of the viscous fluid from her parted lips and sucked it from her fingers, making a show of enjoying the taste while mentally noting that she should probably eat more fruit.

I believed you. I was drunk off my ass when I was making my demands.

Topic Trump speaks at a 4th grade level
Posted 13 Jan 2018 04:01

It was the first few paragraphs of my story She Just Wants To Be. I tried another story and it was 8th grade level, so I guess my writing varies quite a bit.

Dude, I'm hella lazy... plus you know the extra steps it takes to copy and paste stories from lush. Post it here exactly like you did it so I can do it myself. If I go to your story it won't let me just copy and paste. And the PDF version lumps it all into a block of text now. You must have reformatted it to plug in or something. Cut a lazy man some slack here. Just post here what you posted to get the 15.6. I'm sure you didn't put too much effort into it. Just post the exact passage here so I can just plug it in.

Topic Trump speaks at a 4th grade level
Posted 13 Jan 2018 02:54

That may be true, and it probably is, but we are no presidents of the US. The graph clearly shows Trump to score lowest by far among the last 15 presidents. And that while he claims to be smartest over and over again.

Do you need a graph to know he's an idiot? No.

Two minutes of reading into the FK scale and anyone with common sense can see how easily it can be manipulated.

Topic Trump speaks at a 4th grade level
Posted 13 Jan 2018 02:49

I just plugged in a chunk of text from one of my own stories, and it came out as 15.6 ("College graduate and above") on the FK scale. Maybe that's why my stuff isn't as popular as that of others here—it's too difficult to read. #sorrynotsorry #humblebrag

Can you post the actual passage you copied and pasted to get that 15.6? You know, so anyone can do it themselves and be like, well look at that.

Topic Trump speaks at a 4th grade level
Posted 13 Jan 2018 00:15

I just plugged in a bunch of top authors on lush's writing (including my own) and it seems like everyone here should go back to school.... And that is the writing. Actual speaking translated into written form will no doubt put you at a sub-retard level. Just saying. I can't stand trump but I think anyone's actual spoken english would land them in slow adult or 4th grade levels.

Topic What would be your death row meal?
Posted 13 Jan 2018 00:06

A pen and paper, an envelope and a stamp... To mail to my lawyer who would know to wait for my last manifesto before I was so wrongly taken off this plane of existence.

Topic Flirting in the gym
Posted 12 Jan 2018 23:48

When you're a guy in the gym.. DO NOT encroach on anyone's space. Just be cool. Just bullshit with your friends (only a little, like a minute or less), lift your weights, swim your laps, hit the zone with the kettlebells and "other" equipment, say hey to the staff and other regulars, take a class or two, steam it up, enjoy yourself... Just don't be a douche. Just be cool as fuck, when you look in the mirror and you think "fuck, I'm cool and sexy as FUCK..." You're good.


Topic latest movie that you saw or ones you wish to see
Posted 12 Jan 2018 23:30

Professor Marston and The Wonder Women is the true account of the creator of the Wonder Woman character. After the success of Wonder Woman I would have thought this film would have garnered a bit more press but it pretty much flew under the radar.

Marston was a professor of psychology at Harvard in the 1920s who entered into a polyamorous relationship with his wife and his teaching assistant. He had a strong interest in BDSM especially female domination which led to his creation of Wonder Woman. His early comics had strong BDSM overtones and often portrayed Wonder Woman as a sort of female dominatrix character.

After Marston died in 1947, Wonder woman comics were burned and the character was stripped of her powers and in the 60s she became a secretary for the Justice League.

Marston's wife and girlfriend continued to live in a lesbian relationship for 38 more years, raising the children that he sired by both of them.

It's a very interesting story, although the movie seems a bit rushed because it has to cover so much time. Definitely worth the view.

My favorite thing about WW becoming popular again was this... I thought, "I really want to see the docs/period pieces about Martson's obsession with hot fit chicks tying people up and getting tied up himself". The lasso of truth... Because you know in that moment, trusting that person who tied you up, the full truth, is pure BDSM. The guy's stories were illustrated erotica masquerading as funny books.

Topic My Friend is a flat earther
Posted 06 Jan 2018 22:42

Verbal posted this on my wall. im gonna stick with the theory that this would make me a mermaid if it was true. My 2 cents

More like a grouper. If we are going strictly on looks.

Topic My Friend is a flat earther
Posted 06 Jan 2018 22:36

My friend is just flat. It sucks because she really does have a great personality.

Topic Breitbart Shock n Awe vs Trumptards
Posted 06 Jan 2018 22:28

No one makes shockwaves on the internet like you man.

Topic Announcing our new Lush Adult Porn Tube
Posted 31 Dec 2017 02:29

BIG as Texas 😄

Alexis Texas you mean

Topic Announcing our new Lush Adult Porn Tube
Posted 30 Dec 2017 23:36

I have no idea why people find big butts so interesting, but, I guess there's a niche.

Big butts, big tits, big dicks, big bank accounts... BIG turns people on.

Topic Announcing our new Lush Adult Porn Tube
Posted 30 Dec 2017 23:34


Topic Announcing our new Lush Adult Porn Tube
Posted 08 Dec 2017 22:52

someone link me to the big butt videos

Topic Firefox Quantum - Highly Recommended!
Posted 08 Dec 2017 22:45

there's a difference btwn making a grilled cheese sammich and making an awesome grilled cheese sammich. it's all about the cheese.

You know that cheesy jokes piss me off. Don't start in with me.

Topic Just noticed ANOTHER new story category... Mind Control
Posted 07 Dec 2017 02:39

I don't see any announcement about this anywhere, and then suddenly there it is. Why even bother having an Omnium badge if the site is going to keep randomly adding categories and then taking it away from those that have earned it?

Why bother having a hard to get badge if it's going to be easy to get? The omnium badge means a story written in every category right? So do you want lush to never add any categories because you have a dumbass badge? A badge that to be honest doesn't amount to shit really... That said, the doesn't mean shit part, the more categories there are the more impressive the badge becomes, yeah? I know you can bullshit most categories and get the badge anyway.. but still... if there were 1,000 categories it would make the badge way more impressive than "well I got it when there were 15 categories so I should get to keep it", that's bitch shit.

To make my nonsense above clear.. I mean that an omnium badge should be as it is intended, a story in every category. It's something to chase. Preferably with quality stories and not just reworked stories from another category to qualify. Unless you have no pride. Unless a fake medal or trophy is just as good to you. But seriously, a person that is able to write an original, compelling story in every category, and add new ones when new categories are added, that is a true lush author. NOT people who just add some horseshit to collect a badge or rework an old story and submit it in a new category... those "authors" are cancer who drown out good writing because they take advantage of the system.

Topic Firefox Quantum - Highly Recommended!
Posted 07 Dec 2017 02:29

I tried Firefox Quantum and didn't like it. It's slower than Google Chrome and importing my bookmarks was not easy to set up. So I deleted it. I've been a webmaster since the early 90s, so I've tried all of the browsers: Mosaic, IE, Netscape, Safari, Firefox, and now Google Chrome and it is by far the best browser I've ever used. And I've used them on Mac OS and Windows. I've designed hundreds of web pages and dozens of websites and I always use several browsers to verify my work.

look, to be fair... you claiming youre a WEBMASTER and having trouble setting up your bookmarks in a new browser is like a GODDAMN iron chef claiming they can't make a grilled cheese in a new kitchen.

Topic Firefox Quantum - Highly Recommended!
Posted 07 Dec 2017 02:25

I drive a jeep, my navigator is a stupid dog in-spite of her supposedly smart breed, I use google chrome, and I think you're all nerds. GET OUT OF MY WAY

Topic Best Vietnam War Movie?
Posted 05 Dec 2017 23:20

I've seen the videos
1) Full Metal Jacket
2) Platoon
3) Coming Home
4) Apocalypse Now...spelled correctly,
but sorry, I haven't seen good one.

Nothing good comes from that kind of thing I think.

Since most here at Lush are from other countries?

It's not so important maybe?

I wish I could see this guy's setup. Like his creepy little dungeon. Him at his job. Like I want to really see what makes him tick. It would be fascinating. I'd go so far as to say I want to make a documentary on this dude ivanka.

Topic What do you do to stay fit?
Posted 05 Dec 2017 23:10

Get a personal trainer you would totally fuck. It's extremely effective.