About MajPaddy


Relationship Status:
Local Time:
19 Jun 2018 07:46
Sex, Astronomy, Porn, Mathematics, Swinging, Computers, Wanking, Science, Skiing
Favorite Authors:
I've read most of Tom Clancy (good writer but very US jingoistic). Other than that I don't get a lot of time to read fiction.
Favorite Movies:
Matrix, Toy Story, Avatar, Ice Age, Eragon, Shawshank Redemption. Lots of Sci-Fi, Political Thrillers, good Animations. Hate Westerns, especially those with John Wayne (my aversion is explained by the fact that my Father watched them all the time when I was young). Actresses I like: Judi Dench, Jessica Alba, Michelle Pfeiffer, Katherine Heigl, Maggie Smith, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jennifer Garner, Gemma Arterton, Nicole Kidman Actors I like: George Clooney, Jonny Depp, Tom Hanks, Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise
Favorite Music:
I don't listen to much music. I like some Alanis Morrisette and Elton John's Melbourne tour was great. Most classical music is good too. BIG fan of Tom Lehrer! I much prefer listening to BBC Radio 4 (the UK's premiere talk channel), it's on in our house all of the time.


Date Joined:
01 Aug 2011
Last Visit:
14 Feb 2018 (124 days ago)
Page Viewed:
2,122 times
Days in Chat:
Days on Site:
Forum Posts:

MajPaddy's Friends

Favourite Stories MajPaddy's story followers »

No favourite stories listed.

Following Who's following MajPaddy »

Not following any authors

Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: What is the meaning of life?
Posted: 23 Sep 2011 17:23

awensmom: Sorry to be pedantic but 42 was the answer given by the computer Deep Thought in 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' by Douglas Adams - it's just that no-one thought to ask what the question was!

Topic: What is the meaning of life?
Posted: 23 Sep 2011 17:18

nazhinaz: Thanks for the comments - much appreciated.

I think sorrow at the suffering of others comes from the ability of humanity to put themselves in other people's shoes and imagine their horror. One can't get away from the fact that life is cheap and is and has been treated as such throughout history. In modern society we rely on the thin veil of civilisation to get us through the day without having to always look over our shoulders for potential threats to our life but, in the recent past and in some parts of today, some lives don't even have that privilege; there are sad reminders everywhere.

Topic: Do you prefer shaved pussies?
Posted: 22 Sep 2011 01:34

All are great if clean but I prefer completely bare. Some men are tits men, legs men or ass men, me, I'm a pussy man and love the sight, scent and sound of a wet pussy whether hairy or not. All are different, in scent, texture, anatomy and, of course, their owners give them all some unique character too!

Completely waxed and regularly epilated are best because there's either no hair or what is there is soft and downy, shaved is OK if done well and recently otherwise I can get a bit sore round my mouth or on the tip of my tongue. Coloured ladies tend to be a bit more bristly than the lighter skinned ladies if not fully shaved so I have to be extra careful - it doesn't stop me though! If there's any hair then a landing strip is nice as long as what there is is only on the mons and leaves the lips free for my tongue to slip n' slide and enjoy the taste and textures without distraction for me or her. The only advantage of there being some hair is that it holds some of that lovely arousing scent.

Pussies are great - if I had one I wouldn't stop playing with it! I guess I'll just have to make do with my dick!

Topic: What is the meaning of life?
Posted: 21 Sep 2011 17:29

The meaning of life, the purpose of life, the value of life are all based on the human notions of meaning, purpose and value. It is a trait of our primitive, human, pattern-seeking intelligence to seek for meaning where there is none, to look for purpose where there is none and to imbue value where there is none. Life has no meaning, no purpose nor value - in a billion years or (probably) earlier life on this planet will have been extinguished and the indifferent Universe will carry on for many more billions of years on its way towards it's own death. There's no meaning, no purpose nor value in that either - it just is.

Relationships are another thing entirely. Every person is at the centre of their own web of relationships and others who are closest to the centre of that web are treated with a higher apparent value than those further away. 'Further away' is meant in terms of connectivity, geography and time; most people don't care about strangers who may have suffered in another country a long time ago but they grieve when that suffering is applied to their Mothers or Sons. Relationships don't imply an absolute value to life (which, on a Universal scale, is worthless) but only a relative value. Strong emotional relationships make life appear to be worth living...

Topic: open relationships - swinging
Posted: 14 Aug 2011 03:59

With tremendous respect anonymous1526, I think you're mostly wrong on the first point and definitely wrong on the second.

Different people have different views on love and sex. When a couple agree on the boundaries of their relationship and stay within those boundaries then there shouldn't be a problem. The whole basis of a relationship is trust: trust that your partner will not deceive you. In a relationship where there is openness, sharing and honesty there should be no room for deceit. The operative words in those sentences are, of course, 'shouldn't' and 'should'.

I started on the swinging scene as a newly-divorced man about twenty years ago. As a single man I met other couples, accompanied female friends to parties and, about 15 years ago, married one of those friends and we're still very happily married. We still go to swinging parties and we hold our own parties about four times a year. We have many, many wonderful friends that we meet with socially as well as sexually at parties: I've tutored some of their children in Maths, one friend fixes my car and I fix his computer, another has passed some business my way, we stay with others at their luxury seaside flat even though we don't 'play' there. I think the community of like-minded friendship that we have is more important than the sex.

Of all the couples we know there are as many different agreements between them: some will only play with their own partners but like to be with/watched by others while they do it, some play only with others at parties (presumably because they spend the rest of the time with their SO), some come to parties with the lady bringing a 'toy boy' younger man and some couples each have a mistress/lover and openly talk about them.

I would never attempt to see anyone other than at parties and, because I completely trust my wife, I know that she wouldn't either. At a party she knows what I'm doing and I know what she's doing so there's no deceit.

True, we have seen some relationships break down but no more than in a non-swinging context. One chap used to sometimes bring his wife to a party, sometimes bring his 18 year-old girlfriend and sometimes both; it all went wrong when the 18 year-old got pregnant! One couple were regulars at our parties but their marriage ended purely because she wanted children and he didn't - nothing to do with swinging. The worst case we've had in all twenty years was when it became clear that, of a couple new to our group (who hadn't themselves been together long), the man was being pushy when she wasn't interested in swinging. He was separately taken aside and told to back off and then they were politely asked to leave our party because she wasn't happy.

If there's any selection bias in what I'm saying I suppose its because we lose track of some of our party guests and we don't know whether it's because they died, moved away, split up or because they simply moved on to other groups or parties (perhaps nearer home or catering to interests or an age group more appropriate for them). All I can say is that the vast majority of couples we know are well-balanced and appear to have happy and stable relationships.

So, 'Relationship wrecker': sometimes (but no more often than for non-swingers) and 'Simple': absolutely not (there's nothing simple that can be assumed about relationships).

Topic: Sex party HELP!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12 Aug 2011 16:15

My wife and I have held many swingers' parties - usually about 4 per year for the past twenty years with between 20 and 40 people (usually couples but sometimes with a couple of 'spare' and well-trusted guys). Though most of our guests are regulars we often get 'new blood' who've either not been in our group before or, sometimes, have never played at all before and have been brought along by good friends knowing our long-standing (<img src="/images/emoticons/laughing7.gif" alt="laughing6">) reputation for relaxing, friendly, no-pressure evenings.

It's all too easy for a (usually new) guest at a party to make the mistake of thinking that everyone is up for everything so Rule No. 1 is 'No means No!'. For example, some ladies are only there for other ladies because they don't, perhaps, get a chance to play with them as much as they'd like in their real life and so men aren't what they're looking for that evening. Also, even though everyone can be confident that everyone else is there for a sexy, liberal evening it's also true that not everyone is necessarily there for actual sex. Some have come for an easy-going evening to chat with old friends, a chance to dress up in their sexy clothes, to soak up the sexy atmosphere and, perhaps, just watch others, a chance to have sex with their own partners in the presence of others (but not wanting to play with others) or, maybe, yes, some ladies and gents are looking for full-on sex with several partners within the space of a couple of hours or so. Ladies, in particular, appreciate an opportunity to get a chance to unwind after the car journey getting to us, relax in our home with a glass of wine or two, chat, gossip, laugh and generally get in the mood before deciding with whom they want to start the evening. I always think that a good balance for parties is 60% social and 40% sexual and rushing to get the physical side of the party started too soon is almost always a bad move; give it a couple of hours from the advertised start time.

If you have any new guests that aren't new to sex parties then make sure you introduce them to regular guests that you can trust to look after them so that they don't feel left out by any perception of cliquishness. If you have any newbies that haven't played at all before then, as host, you have a double-strength responsibility to make sure that they're comfortable about the evening, show them around the house and bedrooms, introduce them to others, etc , and, if they decide it's not for them and wish to leave be understanding about it, "it can be a lot to get used to at the start" and offer them the chance to come along another time for second try. We've had several couples who've come to our parties a few times before finally dipping their toes in the water and then not looking back!

We don't usually provide condoms or lube as all of our guests are used to bringing their own but it's not a bad idea as a courtesy to have some spares available. Sometimes we have couples who already play together a lot at other times and they've already agreed they won't use condoms with each other but Rule No. 2 is that use of condoms is expected unless all parties involved agree. Otherwise, no condom, no play!

We have put out our array of toys at times in the past but generally find that they're not used much. Of course, if provided, you need to make sure they're fully sterilised beforehand, all the batteries are working, the user manuals are available and they're put away afterwards having been fully sterilised again (just kidding about the user manuals).

We usually strip beds down by removing the duvet covers and pillows as they just get in the way and end up in a tangled heap on the floor (occupying floor space that others may want to use!). Also, if you leave them on the bed any 'juices' are harder to remove from a duvet cover than they are from a bottom fitted-sheet. Speaking of juices, some ladies welcome the use of a towel so they can really 'let go' without worrying about leaving large damp patches so have a few fluffy, absorbent towels handy for them.

The bedroom lights should be dimmed or low-brightness (or coloured) bulbs used. Curtains, blinds or shutters must be closed if the bedroom can be seen from outside. Also, since ladies, in particular, often arrive at parties in scanty or see-through clothing under a long coat make sure the downstairs rooms that can be seen into from the street or neighbour's houses or gardens are similarly curtained/shuttered. It all adds, anyway, to the cosy ambience of the party and helps with the escapist feel of the evening. If you're close to neighbours then you might want to consider making sure the windows are closed or try not to blush when they comment on how vocally religious your female guests were last night! It's not so much of a problem having windows closed in the Winter but neighbours are often enjoying their gardens in the Summer evenings at just the time you'd like to throw windows open because of the heat and humidity!

If some of your guests are a bit nervous (esp. if they're newbies) then sexy party games can be a bit of a threat as they might feel they're being coerced into something for which they're not prepared. However, we have had several themed party evenings that have gone down extremely well: Cops/Robbers/Gangsters/Molls, Pirates n' Wenches Ooh Aarrr! and, recently, a Roman Orgy/Toga party. There's a greater sense of involvement and anticipation for everyone if they have to put some thought into the costume they'll be wearing and, on the night, they're a good talking point to help break the ice.

We normally provide finger food (small pies, pizza, sausage rolls, cheese and pineapple on sticks, nuts, crisps/chips, celery/carrot sticks and savoury dips, grapes). You're not expected to feed everyone a full meal but it's good to have at least nuts, fruit and crisps/chips. As to drink: we tell everyone to "bring a bottle or two of whatever you want to drink" and provide some extra fizzy drinks, fruit juices and water. People often arrive with a couple of bottles of wine and forget that the driver will be on soft drinks most of the night. Make sure that the drinks area has plenty of room and try to encourage people to move away from there once they've filled their glass as, otherwise, it gets too crowded round the booze! If you don't want drinks taken upstairs you might want to put up some humorous signs requesting that drinks stay downstairs. Similarly, you might want to consider putting up signs telling the smokers where to go! <img src="/images/emoticons/laughing7.gif" alt="laughing6">

Rule No. 3 is HAVE FUN and, if you're in the South-East UK, invite us!

Paul (MajPaddy)

back to top

Stories Published By MajPaddy All Stories »

Mounting the Figurehead

It’s a stormy Autumn day in 1794. Salt spray assaults your nostrils, the wind tears at your hair, flecks of sea foam scurry down the side of your body and your cunt is full of the Captain’s spunk. You’re used to the pitch and yaw of the ship but no amount of tossing and rolling is going to dislodge you from your position as the ship’s figurehead... It had all started some fifty years...

Added 08 Aug 2011 | Category Supernatural | Votes 4 | Avg Score 4.5 | Views 5,446 | 4 Comments

Pulley Passion

It was a warm summer evening and I felt a shiver of excited anticipation in the gentle grip of your hand as we approached the house whose address had been given at the top of the letter we’d received from the lady who’d answered our advert in the contact magazine. In my other hand I was carrying a discreet bag with our usual set of toys and lubricants. “I’m submissive”, the lady had...

Added 06 Aug 2011 | Category BDSM | Votes 1 | Avg Score 3 | Views 5,087

Relief in Rugby

It was one of those warm but blustery spring Saturdays when linen-white clouds go scudding across the sky, the skylarks spill their song over the countryside and the sun continues to smile his warmth over the fields. Not wanting to waste such a nice day indoors you’d decided to drive to a local beauty-spot and take a quiet stroll amongst Nature. Having watched the squirrels in the forest,...

Added 05 Aug 2011 | Category Group Sex | Votes 3 | Avg Score 4.67 | Views 4,461 | 3 Comments

Welcome to Amsterdam

Despite being mid-February it is pleasant on the streets of Amsterdam and the nightlife is taking advantage of the relative mildness for the time of year. I have you on my arm, holding you close as I guide you carefully over the cobblestone back-streets where doorways are lit in red and bright coloured lights illuminate the scantily dressed prostitutes advertising their bodies for sale in...

Added 04 Aug 2011 | Category Anal | Votes 4 | Avg Score 4.75 | Views 6,277 | 2 Comments

Failure to Comply

Where is that report I asked you for? I’m most displeased, Mary, that you didn't see fit to do as I asked. You said that your pants got soaking wet when you read my letter but you didn't say whether this was entirely because of any erotic content to the letter, because you were frigging yourself with your fingers or because you were sliding your black vibrator in and out of your moist pink...

Added 03 Aug 2011 | Category BDSM | Votes 1 | Avg Score 5 | Views 5,487

Meet the Jolly Pink Giant

Last Tuesday was an immensely pleasurable erotic experience that I shan’t forget. I remember the kissing and cuddling almost as soon as we got to the room. We seemed to have the same needs and the lingering glances over dinner had conveyed and confirmed the unspoken agreement that we shouldn’t waste time. I remember us undressing. I buried my head between your fulsome breasts as you stood...

Added 02 Aug 2011 | Category Toys | Votes 1 | Avg Score 2 | Views 13,403 | 1 Comment

Friends Comments

Happy Birthday from the Lush team.
22 Sep 2017 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.
22 Sep 2015 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.
22 Sep 2014 00:20
back to top

Attach a note to this member, which only you can see.

Tell us why

Please tell us why you think this profile page is inappropriate.