nicola's Blog Entries

Some people have real problems.

06 Sep 2016 07:43

20 Apr 2016 11:23

I was given the worst thesaurus today for a present. It was both terrible and terrible.

25 Dec 2015 09:50

"Books are uniquely portable magic."

15 Dec 2015 09:11

Live simply, so that others may simply live.

18 Sep 2015 02:00

Let me tell you a little about myself. It's a reflexive pronoun that means 'me'

26 Aug 2015 13:31

“a book must be the axe for the frozen sea inside us.”

23 Aug 2015 10:59

In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.

26 Jul 2015 10:58

15 Jul 2015 05:09

If I knew where I was going, I wouldn't go there.

14 Jul 2015 12:39

I'm really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls. They're so full of themselves.

13 Jul 2015 13:16

You don't need eyes to see, you need vision.

17 Jun 2015 11:27

"Twin miracles of mascara, her eyes looked like the corpses of two small crows that had crashed into a chalk cliff."

01 Jun 2015 02:46

I love England in the Spring. Bluebells in a local wood:

24 Mar 2015 02:29

21 Oct 2013 17:29

Frequently Asked Questions at Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support

Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up, turn it upside down, and shake it.

Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up, turn it upside down, and shake it.

Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up, turn it upside down, and shake it.

Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don't shake it.

29 Sep 2013 19:43

I went to the local sports centre to sign up for Yoga classes. The woman behind the counter said, "How flexible are you?" I replied, "I can't do Tuesdays".

26 Jul 2013 17:15

I went to my allotment last week and found someone had covered it with 2
inches of soil. I went again yesterday only to find it covered again with
another 2 inches of soil. The plot thickens...

11 Jul 2012 18:12

16 Jun 2012 22:47

Rarely do you get a humourous Financial Journalist: "It may be the 'best in breed' in its industry, but winning a dog show does not change the fact that a dog is a dog."

21 May 2012 14:32

"Fool," said my muse to me, "look in thy heart and write."

27 Mar 2012 18:56

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass It's about learning to dance in the rain.

29 Feb 2012 16:10

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?

22 Feb 2012 13:21

The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall and smacked his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable.

"Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed.

Write that down, Mary," said Joseph "It's better than Derek."

21 Dec 2011 13:10

I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed.

At first I was afraid.....then I was petrified.

03 Nov 2011 01:58