14 Feb 2015 02:35
Happy Valentines Day
08 Feb 2015 01:24
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;...
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.
In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
"I am a dominator!!"
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one!!"
Well readers, I can tell no more;
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey!!
25 Jan 2015 10:45
A rare submission here onto my "Freebie" list. It's those eyes that do it for me. Added to that a brilliant performance as Jane Hawking in The Theory of Everything.
22 Jan 2015 14:30
Irony is tearing your groin muscle at the gym 2 days before heading off on a dirty weekend with the wife..
21 Jan 2015 11:44
In honour of National Hug Day today..
12 Jan 2015 12:23
It's Kiss a Ginger day today. I'm up for it!!
30 Dec 2014 15:36
Happy new year folks. May you all share it with the person you love.
29 Dec 2014 10:57
27 Dec 2014 15:36
Another night bites the dust..
24 Dec 2014 23:24
Have a VERY Merry Christmas
21 Dec 2014 06:26
Winter solstice. Wahooo! Role on those longer days!!
20 Dec 2014 23:53
20 Dec 2014 23:53
18 Dec 2014 23:21
18 Dec 2014 00:30
17 Dec 2014 12:17
14 Dec 2014 14:53
09 Dec 2014 13:38
Oh bugger, guess who's got Man Flu?
29 Nov 2014 10:17
19 Nov 2014 23:02
14 Nov 2014 10:44
Great night last night watching one of my favourite comedians.
08 Nov 2014 10:00
Keep your knickers on girls, there's a home alone husband on the loose!
08 Nov 2014 09:45
Watch out, there's a home alone husband about!
21 Aug 2014 10:31
Seriously, how long til the kids go back to school?!
12 Aug 2014 12:01
RIP Robin Williams
01 Aug 2014 14:39
Friday night and enjoying a wee dram!!