Virtual manager of both The Love Shack and The Heartbreak Hotel, I am an expert on all matters of human desire and sexuality. Do you have a relationship concern or sex question that is currently plaguing you? Are you tired of well-meaning friends and family steering you the wrong way? Ready for the real deal? Why not ask Olivia, bonafide sex goddess and counsellor extraordinaire who will guide you in your travels through love and lust, kinks and relationship hijinks. You can find me in my corner of the forum, where you will soon enjoy fun blogs, do's and don'ts and how to avoid those common relationship pitfalls and sexual disasters. You can also ask me questions and get personalized advice by starting a thread in that section or sending me a private PM and I will post your question (anonymously on your behalf) in the forum and answer it there. Sorry but I don't do private chat or private advice/counselling. DISCLAIMER: My posts are a mixture of advice, tough love, and entertainment. If you need serious professional help, please call a healthcare professional for individual therapy. The internet will not fix you.
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how are you . hope your haveing great summer.. miss olivia your a very smart n beautifull looking woman.. i know you dont do private counseling. just wondering what you think on age difference.. also .. miss olivia have great day . xoxoxxxx Hello!Thank you for the lovely compliments.Age differences, eh? I don't feel strongly about age differences as long as it's a legal , happy, healthy, and consensual situation for everyone involved. As long as no one's being lead on or taken advantage of, I say have fun!
Dear Olivia,I showed this girl on here pictures of my dick because she promised to show me a picture of her pussy. I took all the angles she requested and even some of me cumming. I asked her again about when she will send me her pussy pics but she always changes the subject. The other day she asked me for more dick pics and said she promised to send her pussy and even her asshole this time if I sent more. I don't know what to do. I mean I really want to see her pussy but I feel that after sending her about 20 dick pics without her sending 1 back that she is just lying again. How many dick pics do you think is normal before a pussy pic is sent in return?Jack Hello Jack!It can seem rather frustrating when we put ourselves out there for someone else and they don't seem to reciprocate. Perhaps you can consider pulling back a bit and slowing down on the intimate pictures, or "dick pics" as you so eloquently put it. Maybe then she'll be more forthcoming with her pictures.Maybe she's a bit shy. Communication is key, so talk to her. There has to be a reason why she's hesitant to share intimate pictures with you.Another option is to ask her to send you dick pics. It's only fair, right? Not to mention, it would put you guys on a more even keel.In this case, the number of pictures doesn't matter as much as the trust involved with sharing such pictures.As always, I wish you all the best.
How do I handle my girlfriend's counselor who's insisting she walk away from the relationship after 15 years simply because for medical and family reasons we haven't met face to face yet? Hello Chris.I take it your girlfriend's counselor is a trained professional, so I'm sure he or she has your girlfriend's best interests at heart.What's best for the ones we love isn't always what we want, but it's what they need. Counseling sessions are private, and your girlfriend may have revealed things to her counselor that she may not have even revealed to you, which is why her counselor may have arrived at the conclusion that she break things off with you.I'm sure your girlfriend's counselor isn't going around telling clients to break off relationships just because they can. There's going to be underlying reasons, to which both you and your girlfriend should give some thought.Are you both benefiting mentally and emotionally from the relationship? Are you happier, better people as a result of this relationship?I know it's a difficult thing to accept, but if it's what your girlfriend needs, then it's something you can at least consider, right?In regards to you "handling" your girlfriend's counselor, I can't offer any advice in that area because I won't go against anyone's professional opinion without the proper authority to do so.I do wish you all the best.
Hello OliviaYou've never met me before but hopefully you can help me.I didn't know Lush was a dating site but when I joined I saw so many people getting in relationships and stuff. I thought it was kind of silly at first but then I met someone and I fell for him. The relationship is over, but now I'm dealing with the aftermath. Theres so much drama everywhere. We tried being friends but other women that like him can be so mean. I can't even post on his wall anymore and the forums get really boring with all the drama.What should I do when I just want to be his friend and other women feel like they own him? Hello!Unfortunately you've stumbled onto the catty territory of Lush. Like any other online community, Lush isn't immune to drama and all the stuff you wish you could avoid. It really does suck when people turn your fun place into a Petri dish of negativity. You can try laying low for a while. People who play those types of games usually have short attention spans and move on rather quickly, although you may occasionally come across the type that can't let go. You can also talk to your friend and let him know what's going on and see if he can or wants to try put a stop to it. You could also try reasoning with the women. Even better, try befriending them while secretly plotting your revenge. Kidding!Seriously, just take the high road. Don't let them get under their skin. You've just as much a right to be here as they do, so protect your space. Seek out positive interactions and friendships to make your experience worthwhile. I wish you all the best.
Thank you all for your thoughts. Kind of what I expected I guess, but didn't want it to be true. I am fortunately going to see a counsellor for the first time tomorrow which I hope will be helpful too. Expensive, but hopefully helpful!!Yes, I think I need to see my family and talk with them. I am fortunate that I have a job and income. And also that we don't have children. I think I will make arrangements to secure that income stream and start seeing where else I might stay, probably my parents.But I know it could be a hideous journey ahead if I take that drastic move. And I do worry what he might do - particularly to himself and possibly to our property.But then if I don't do this and just carry on as is I don't think either of us will be happy.Thanks all. Hello,You've received excellent advice so far, so I'll try not to repeat it.First of all, congratulations for already having plans in motion. Your self-reliance in a situation such as this is your greatest asset. I understand that you've committed to counseling, but it never hurts to prepare for the worst.Reach out to your friends and family. I'm sure isolation from them has worked in your husband's favor. You're not alone, and they will understand, especially once you've explained the situation to them. In terms of you being worried about your spouse harming himself, manipulation by means of self-harm threats come straight out of the domestic abuser's handbook. Most likely, he will not inflict any physical harm on himself unless he can harm you to the same extent. I'm not sure if you're going into counseling alone or with your husband, but if he's with you, remember that manipulation is his game. Also remember that even with all of their training and experiences, counselors are just people that can also be manipulated. Your husband can paint an entirely different picture for the counselor and even convince you, yourself that you're in the wrong. Trust your instincts, and if you feel like you need to get out, then get out. In regards to your personal property, secure as much of it as you can, but remember that things can always be replaced. You should be your #1 priority right now. Regards,Olivia
I am 24 years old guy. I want to hear your advice and opinion. recently I started fantasizing more and more about being cuckolded. I mean, it would hurt me, make me angry and jealous if my gf fucks another guy...but also it turns me on incredibly if I imagine that. Is something wrong with me ? I shouldnt feel and think like that. I wish I could delete that fantasy from my mind, but other part of me really wants to try to convince my gf to fuck another guy in front of me. Please, advise me :) Hi Tom! Short answer: No, there's nothing wrong with you. Long answer: There are lots of psychological reasons for why cuckolding is something that intrigues you and turns you on. I won't delve too deeply into those reasons, but the information is out there.Don't beat yourself up over your desires. As long as it's safe, legal, and consensual, there's no fantasy too dirty to be worth exploring.My only advice refers to your girlfriend, assuming you aren't single. I understand that she is a central part of your fantasy, but make sure it's something she's into. Pressuring her into doing something that she's not into can be as detrimental to your relationship as the act of cuckolding itself. Especially if you're looking at cuckolding as a lifestyle as opposed to being something you act on every once in a while......which brings about the following questions: How far do you want the cuckolding thing to go? Do you want it as just something you do every once in a while, or do you want it as a lifestyle? In either case, you need a partner that's willing to commit to that sort of relationship, especially if you adopt being cuckolded as a lifestyle.Try easing her into the idea by reading cuckold stories together and watching cuckold porn together to gauge her reaction. If she likes it, see if she'd be willing to take it further by fantasizing about someone else while you guys are having sex, either someone she makes up or someone she knows. Take it slow and remember that this sort of thing is shocking to most people. Also, be prepared to accept the fact that she's not into the idea of being with someone else to fulfill your fantasy.If you're already attached, you have to ask yourself if you're willing to be denied this part of yourself if your girlfriend is not into the idea of cuckolding. If you're not already attached, seek out a partner who is accepting of this fantasy.Best of luck!Yours truly,~Olivia
I am single for the past 2years, and I really have this urge to start an affair or fling with some married guy..I know how morally wrong it is, and I am no slut, but I really really have this craving once in a while to work on it and experience the fun!How do I get it to stop...or for that matter, should I stop Hello Sia,You've received some mixed answers so far, but I'll throw my own into the mix. Short answer : Don't try to curb your desires if it's what you truly want. Long answer : Don't live your life according to anyone's moral standards but your own. If it's an affair you desire, then go for it! However, don't become a person that you can't look at in the mirror. Remember that an affair with a married man entails more than just your feelings and sexual desires. So before you engage in something like this, be sure you're prepared for any possible consequences, including the emotional and psychological toll it can take on you. Affairs aren't always as clean cut as they seem. Make sure that you're not just enamored with the idea of an affair and the perceived excitement that goes along with it. You may envision fancy hotels or even exciting encounters in the actual marital bed, which can very well happen. But you could wind up with sleazy motels and abandoned parking lots. Some affairs can go on for a lifetime without anyone on the outside being aware. Others can blow up and rip families apart or even end violently. Those are the extreme ends of the infidelity spectrum, so if you're prepared for those, then you're prepared for all the stuff in between (i.e. Falling in love with a man that won't leave his wife. A married man falling in love with you when you're just in it for the thrill. Etc.). Before taking this plunge, consider role playing with a partner to get used to the idea of it. This may even be enough for you, or it may not.If you simply cannot get over this urge to have an affair with a married man, then do it. Just be prepared for any and everything that accompanies this, and keep it safe in every sense of the word. Above all else, remember that reality has a tendency to play out vastly different than fantasy, so don't just think in ideals. Be practical. Be safe. And enjoy!Yours truly,~Olivia
aunt olivia,me and wife and have been married close to 10 years now, but our sexual life lately has been on a bit of a down slide, and we are starting to get back our sexual libido together slowly, but my problem is how do i guide my wife properly on sexually pleasing me, i feel like i spend a whole lot of time on enjoying her breast which she enjoys alot herself, unfortunatly it feels like i spend all this time getting her goin sexually and she spends a lil bit of time rubbing my cock and once its hard she jumps on and thats it, wether my sexual libido is goin or not shes ready to go and thats all that matters, unfortunatly without the proper stimulation and time spent on me, it makes it that much harder to cum i go and go but cant make it cum, would like it if she spent some time stimulating my nipple area, and also spent alot more time stimulating me down there and maybe some oral down there once in a while to really get me goin, then it would be so much easier to cum hard inside of her. unfortunatly as much as she has a hard exterior personality wise inside shes like a fragile frabigia egg if i try telling her shes not doiing it right or not pleasing me properly she gets all upset and takes it extremely personally and shuts down on me is frustrating i want to help her, but if i have i have to tell her every step of what to do for me as shes doin it, its gonna take a whole lot of the sexuality out of it for me, but i would like to get her into pleasin me as much as i work on pleasing herthanx for your advice Hello,From what I've gathered, you want to guide your wife in how to please you sexually without guiding your wife in how to please you sexually, correct?Tell her what you like and tell her that you'd like her to be more proactive in doing the things you like. Guide her until it becomes more instinctive for her.For example, when she's stroking your dick, wrap your hand around hers to sort of guide her in doing it the way you like. Once you get the right rhythm going, let go and she'll take the hint that it's the way you want it done. That's just a minor example. Use this method in relation to everything that pleases you. She won't know unless you tell her. Be patient and guide her in the proper way to please you. And again, be patient. "That feels good, but try it like this" is far better than "You're not doing it right." Choose your words carefully and explain to her that you want to take your time and enjoy it rather than jump right into things.Your ultimate goal should be for the both of you to tune in to the things that bring each other pleasure. It takes trial and error, a sensitive approach, and above all else, communication. As always, I wish you all the best.Yours truly,~Olivia
I am a 48 year old man married to a 45 year old woman. I am still relatively healthy, and have a healthy sex drive for my age ( or even perhaps slightly above average). My wife on the other hand has experienced a rather steep decline in her sex drive. She thinks it has to do with the meds she is taking for depression and seizures ( she was recently diagnosed with adult onset epilepsy).She has gotten to the point where she cannot even achieve an orgasm anymore! In talking with her doctors, they have offered very little assistance in suggestions for anything she can do to try to augment her libido. Needless to say, this has severly hampered her interest in having or enjoying sex. Might you know of any supplements that could help to augment her sex drive?Or any other ideas? It has become frustrating for her, and me! Hello.Perhaps it might be best if she deals with other issues first before you try working on her sex drive. At this stage in her condition, her sex drive should really be the least of your worries. Learning one has a chronic condition really takes its toll on a person. Was she taking medicine for depression before she found out she had adult onset epilepsy? If so, the medicine for the seizures may be throwing off the depressions. She may have to try many more different types of meds before she finds a combination that works for her. Taking supplements for her sex drive at this point is just treating a symptom and not the problem. It may be quite some time before she can enjoy sex again. The best advice I can give you is to be as patient and supportive with your wife as possible. When she learns to cope with her condition and depression simultaneously, I'm sure her libido will come around. Just give it some time before you start suggesting supplements. That may make her feel inadequate and contribute to her depression.Also, ask yourself this: If it were the other way around and you were dealing with depression and adult onset epilepsy and a declining sex drive, what type of support would you want from your partner?Yours truly,~Olivia
Any advice/input on pulling the reins in on some of this? Maybe I let it go too far but gheeeeez who wants to throw a wet blanket on a hot wife who has found her sexual stride in her 50s? Ask what questions you need for more information. Here is the basic layout.My wife was into anal big time before we married and introduced it to me (both ways). She is a “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” sort of gal about everything and I do mean EVERYTHING. Cum is of course a large part of goose/gander thing as well. So not only did my wife surprise me with the whole anal attack thing but also the whole kissing after coming from oral. My wife has a good approach even though it has not accomplished her ultimate goal, it has gotten her much closer to it. I go with the flow up to a point. I love sex and I do love pleasing her and I love enjoy fulfilling her crazy desires. We have been Role Playing all sorts of off creative scenarios she comes up with: Prisoners who have to perform or work chain gang (she loves prison shower scenarios – it’s even hard to go with it), Queen/slaves who have to perform or get punished, All girl take down of two guys forcing them into compromising positions, Female Cops making guys do what they want, Face sitting for others to play with me, Show and Tale - putting me on display, and Of course 69 scenarios where guys take her over and over and over again. She has so many now I can't keep up with them all but most end up with me getting royally done and/or eating lots of creamy stuff. It has been going on for quite a while now. I have grown accustomed to all the anal, cum, masturbation, toy, & sex machine play and in addition to all our making love it seems all our free time is all sex time. I am in Nooooo means complaining. What is tough is where it has all headed, all the bisex RP, scenarios, stories, my wife gets off by a lot but the male bisex is by far the strongest. I am good to go up to a point with all the play but it is getting to where our sex talk is being dominated by it. She wants to meet with other couples who are bisexual to chat with sexually and get to know. Thank you so very much!L Hello.Before I begin, I have a question: Do you guys still enjoy regular sex? By regular, I mean what most of us here on Lush would refer to as "Vanilla". No toys. No other people. Just you and her. None of you tied up or anything of the sort. Just two people enjoying the intimate act of sex in and of itself.It seems you guys hit the ground running when it came to experimentation. When people dive in head first and they've tried all there is to try, they sort of begin to fizzle out, and they're constantly trying to find the next wild thing. You're beginning to plateau, and your wife isn't quite there yet. This may have a lot to do with her increased sex drive, which you've already mentioned.There's really no easy way to go about it if you want maximum results. Just tell her you feel like things are spiraling out of control. This isn't some chick you've been dating for a while. This is your wife. You guys have an exciting sex life. The only thing that's probably going to work against you is that you waited so long to set boundaries. This is probably due to the fact that you're just now discovering what your boundaries are. So now that you have a better understanding of your boundaries, tell her outright that you're getting uncomfortable.To put it simply, talk to your wife. Tell her you're enjoying the great sex, but you miss her, because that's what I'm sensing here. This may not happen overnight, so try easing into things. Allow plenty of opportunity for her to be the sexpot that she is, but ask her to set aside some time where she's just your wife, and you're spending actual time with her apart from all the buckwild sex. I don't think this is asking too much, especially in a marriage. Yours truly,~Olivia
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