About PhilU


My background is in hard (no pun intended) sciences, so sometimes I write stories as a creative outlet. Mostly writing for my own amusement about what interests me. Somehow those stories seem to involve quite a lot of sex (how does that happen?) Quite a few years ago, I used to read rec.arts.erotica and alt.sex.stories.moderated, and wrote a few stories which I decided needed to be polished more (and more) before letting others see them (so I never did send anything off). Years later, I find myself divorced and starting to write again, and perhaps being slightly less of a perfectionist, so I thought maybe I might share a few stories.

Still a bit of a perfectionist, though, and becoming very aware that there are some brilliant writers on Lush who put my own work to shame, so if anyone has time to provide any constructive criticism, then that would be very welcome!

I generally prefer stories which happen to contain sex, or at least where the characters have a reason to be having sex, so that's what I'm trying to write.

Oh, and the avatar's not me, but the resemblance is uncanny. Well, except that he has muscles and confidence. But we're both Australian!

Phil Udont-needtoknow
Relationship Status:
In a Relationship
Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Playing football (which some ignorant Aussies sometimes call soccer) - I'd rather watch Aussie rules football, but don't like getting hurt enough to play that...and occasionally trying to keep in shape - gym, jogging etc. Getting to the beach or bushwalking (that translates as hiking/rambling/tramping). Also been exploring meditation and yoga recently.
Favorite Books:
Umm, how to narrow it down? Perhaps a toss-up between The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and The Outsider (L'Etranger) by Camus... not sure what that says about me?
Favorite Authors:
All time favourite is probably the late, great Terry Pratchett, but also like to read the classics.
Favorite Movies:
Favourite is "Life of Brian", but watch a wide range of movies... probably more arthouse than Hollywood, and probably more likely something light and funny than something intending to terrify me.
Favourite TV Shows:
Anything but "reality" TV...
Favorite Music:
Should I mention that I was a child of the 80s? Umm, perhaps not...


Date Joined:
13 Jan 2017
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Topic: President Trump Nominated for Nobel Peace Prize by Norwegian Lawmakers
Posted: 18 Jun 2018 15:05

If anyone cares, the reasons Obama won are given at - https://www.nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/peace/laureates/2009/press.html . In part, it says:

'The Norwegian Nobel Committee has decided that the Nobel Peace Prize for 2009 is to be awarded to President Barack Obama for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples... The Committee endorses Obama's appeal that "Now is the time for all of us to take our share of responsibility for a global response to global challenges." '

It doesn't mention his race. He didn't win it because he's black; he won it, in part, because he was not George W. After a president who ignored the UN and launched a war in Iraq (based on lies, and ultimately making the region less stable), Obama seemed like a breath of fresh air. Ultimately, he didn't deliver much for all his 'extraordinary efforts'.

But it's not as though the Nobel Peace Prize has a proud history...

"Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize." - Tom Lehrer.

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 14 Jun 2018 06:05

Evening all! My day got off to an unexpectedly nice start... and then was a bit expectedly less-than-nice for quite a while (aka work), but now it's picking up again. Just wanted to drop by and thank all those who helped out a late entrant to the comp, and say congrats to the Rump regulars and irregulars who did well in the comp (which is everyone who entered really, coz the stories were great) and especially the irregular MadMartigan (I mean that as a compliment - his stories are never regular, normal or boring!)

And I'll buy the next round for everyone (he says, having carefully chosen a quiet time of day to make the offer...) Make mine a beer.

I'm heading off to bed but wanted to congratulate Phil on placing in the top three and put his drink on me. All the stories I read were great and I'm sure the judges had a difficult time as always. I'll have some hot tea and need off for the night.

Aw, thanks so much, Tonya. Better make that two beers then. <img src="/images/emoticons/drunken_smilie.gif" alt="drunken">

Topic: Announcing the Winners of our "Masked" Story Competition
Posted: 13 Jun 2018 15:12

Wow. I had a crack at reading all the entries to this comp and, given the quality of the entries, was hoping that maybe I might crack the top 10. I'm most honoured (and more than a little surprised) to have cracked the top 3.

Big congrats to MadMartigan for a first place after so many great comp entries that no one else could have written. He's one of a kind! And congrats to the so-called "Wannabe". And congrats also to all those who rounded out the top 10... and to those who created some really great stories but didn't quite make the list this time.

Last, but not least, thanks to Nicola and the judges who make these competitions happen. They're always a lot of fun... and deadlines may just motivate me to actually hit that 'publish' button. <img src="/images/emoticons/embarassed.gif" alt="Embarassed">

Topic: What sports do you watch? What teams do you root for?
Posted: 10 Jun 2018 00:16

Just the usual sorts of sports... Aussie rules, cricket, rugby if pressed, football (soccer) when the World Cup is on (which is apparently really soon - it's sneaking up on me), but I don't really root for any team.

'Root' kind of means something different around these parts... an act that gets talked about a lot on this site, but not (yet) in this thread.

Hence, this delicate Aussie love song:


Incidentally, I did once get told by a young American woman doing an exchange year at an Aussie Uni that she "might be living in Australia, but still be rooting for the US at the Olympics". To her credit, she did get suspicious when I laughed for a while, then offered to help with her training...

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 06 Jun 2018 15:28

Greetings all. Just seeing if I can squeeze a 'Congrats on page 1000' message in, or if it will have to be 'Congrats on page 1001'. Quite an achievement either way. Coffee time here... I'll have it any which way (yes, still talking about coffee). Intravenously would probably be ideal this morning...

Topic: Please use the block function!
Posted: 06 Jun 2018 15:21

12) the i have a goddamned headache listening to you motherfuckers bitching about everything block - only usable by sprite. blocks every single post on the entire site.

Meh. I have one of those too... I just press that little 'x' on the edge of the lush tab. Some people should try it occasionally...

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 31 May 2018 06:02

PhilU's entry has well over 10 comments so he should be in good shape, vote-wise.

Yes, thanks for the extra pimping there, Bill. And thanks to all those who have checked it out. Good luck to all the Rumplations regulars (and irregulars) who entered. I'll make an outrageous tip - there'll be a first-time winner this time (unless I'm missing someone, I don't think that any previous comp winners have entered this time).

Ill have whatever Bertha still has concentrated in the depths of its artificial soul. Im in that interminable wait while chapter 2 my Theia Chronicles is moderated. Why can't these people be up at 4 am just in case I post something?

We have mods in many different time zones so we could, in theory, have you covered. Unfortunately, some of the mods are a bit lazy...

And with that, I'm off to bed. Maybe just time for a nightcap... maybe beer?

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 30 May 2018 17:39

Hello Mr Phil.

I am working my way through the last few stories in the comp. I will get to yours a little later tonight. But as you know I am sure, those of us that entered can not help you with votes. They will be stripped away as soon as the mods and counsel get their hands on the stories. I will of course leave a nice comment as soon as I read it. I am sure it is very good coming from you. Good luck in the comp.

Why thank you Mr Jim. It was my understanding that all votes count for the first hurdle and only after that do votes from fellow competitors get stripped out before looking at average scores (so people can't tactically vote down stories they think might beat them... although I'm sure almost no one on this site would do such a thing).

If so, then I've cleared the first hurdle, thanks to Verbal and ITM. So their drinks are on me... actually, drinks all around. But I'd better just have coffee. And I'm going to try to read all the comp entries... Just made a late start to reading then.

Of course, I could be wrong. I'm just the most junior of junior mods, so I don't know much, but I know I love sprite...

*runs for cover*

Topic: Phallic symbols
Posted: 30 May 2018 06:41

This newsreader's jacket caused a bit of a stir a few years back...


Topic: Guaranteed minimum income
Posted: 30 May 2018 05:18

It doesn't matter what welfare system you have, someone's going to try to game it.

Yes, although a universal basic income approach is relatively hard to game - everyone gets it. Of course, then someone has to pay for it, so you need a tax system. And whatever the tax system, someone's going to try to game it. And multinational corporations are going to try to play it off against other nations' tax systems, but that might be a topic for another thread...

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Recent Activity All Blogs »

Stories Published By PhilU All Stories »

Editor's Pick Welcome to Reality

I stare at my own reflection, still not convinced that that is really me. It’s not how I would usually picture myself; not how I usually saw myself. My eyes seem duller than usual. The hair on my head not quite so lush and verdant, but more hair than I’m used to everywhere else. My chest somehow thinner and not as toned. And, as my eyes roam down the reflection, I don’t quite recognise my...

Added 28 May 2018 | Category Fantasy & Sci-Fi | Votes 17 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 1,599 | 15 Comments

Do Friends Do That?

The three of us were good friends. Nothing more, nothing less. The kind of friends who would talk about almost anything but wouldn't usually, for example, make an agreement to get naked together. That changed one warm November day. The weather in Perth was starting to settle into the inevitable summer pattern – blazing hot sun, a cloudless sky, and a refreshing sea breeze making its way up...

Added 07 Mar 2018 | Category Threesomes | Votes 36 | Avg Score 5 | Views 17,553 | 17 Comments

Recommended Read Dinner and a Show

Amanda and Matt shared a long glance as the question hung in the air, unanswered. Both understood that this decision could change their relationship; neither understood just how it would change. It was clear to Amanda that her husband wanted her to answer, “Yes.” And clear that he was not as surprised by the question as she was. It made some sense – Chris was a friend and former boss...

Added 29 Jan 2018 | Category Money | Votes 17 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,956 | 14 Comments

Recommended Read Balls Head

Balls Head Reserve, as always, made me think rude thoughts. Not because of the name – it's a headland, named after a Lieutenant Ball, who captained one of the ships in the First Fleet. And not even rude thoughts about whoever had decided some place names shouldn't get an apostrophe. Rude thoughts based on memories. This had been our place – Skye's and mine – over twenty years earlier. We...

Added 03 Oct 2017 | Category Outdoor | Votes 17 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,773 | 16 Comments

Recommended Read Al's Add-In and the Enchanted Phone

Most people thought old McNamara's electronics store was a disorganised heap of junk.  But to me, it was a cave full of secret treasure.  I used to spend ages searching through his random collection of second hand gear, computer parts and old-school electronics kits.  It’s fair to say that most guys my age were probably happier chasing women, but computers, electronics and science made a...

Added 01 Aug 2017 | Category Humor | Votes 9 | Avg Score 4.89 | Views 1,534 | 9 Comments

The Deep End

My boyfriend’s cum slapped hot against my cheek, onto my lips and into my open mouth. Moments later, the other man’s cum landed in a streak stretching from my lower stomach to my breasts. More and more shots of cum covered me, each hot against my skin. The heat transferred straight to my pussy, taking my arousal ever higher. Then I woke with a start, breathing heavily, heart racing. I...

Added 06 Jul 2017 | Category Group Sex | Votes 20 | Avg Score 4.94 | Views 7,932 | 15 Comments

Highlight Reel

In my wife's view, this is not a particularly special evening. It's not our anniversary or the birthday of anyone special; just an ordinary Thursday night. The problem is that my lovely wife, for all her brilliance, warm-heartedness and all-round sexiness, just doesn't realise one important thing. The Ashes start tonight. Perhaps it's for the best, since Charlotte was born in England and I...

Added 26 Mar 2017 | Category Straight Sex | Votes 10 | Avg Score 5 | Views 4,234 | 9 Comments

Recommended Read The Snuggle Hitch

It all should never have happened. My comfortable life should have stayed just that - comfortable. If I hadn’t made a sudden decision to hire a convertible and go for a long drive, or if my GPS had not said, "Signal lost," at the worst time, or if I hadn’t missed a turn while concentrating hard on driving on the right hand side of the road, then I would never have been on that road. Even then,...

Added 25 Feb 2017 | Category Straight Sex | Votes 21 | Avg Score 5 | Views 4,374 | 22 Comments

Fancy Dress or Undressed

I shocked myself a bit when I said it out loud. Mostly I’d been attempting to amuse my friend Rob. He had a huge talent for, and interest in, inappropriate comments. But he had perhaps mastered the art of making such comments sotto voce, or at least quietly enough to not be heard by the person referred to. Just for a moment, I hoped that Sarah hadn’t heard, but she turned and approached me....

Added 24 Feb 2017 | Category Spanking | Votes 23 | Avg Score 5 | Views 11,210 | 18 Comments

Best Two Out of Three

There are some things that can be done nude, and some things that should not be.  People disagree about what belongs in what set.  Some people begrudgingly get naked to shower and maybe for sex (as long as the light's out), but are sure to cover up at any other time.  Others swim, suntan, and of course, play volleyball, in the nude.  One thing that they agree on, is that cooking should not...

Added 22 Jan 2017 | Category Threesomes | Votes 20 | Avg Score 5 | Views 15,506 | 15 Comments

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