About PhilU


My background is in hard (no pun intended) sciences, so sometimes I write stories as a creative outlet. Mostly writing for my own amusement about what interests me. Somehow those stories seem to involve quite a lot of sex (how does that happen?) Quite a few years ago, I used to read rec.arts.erotica and alt.sex.stories.moderated, and wrote a few stories which I decided needed to be polished more (and more) before letting others see them (so I never did send anything off). Years later, I find myself divorced and starting to write again, and perhaps being slightly less of a perfectionist, so I thought maybe I might share a few stories.

Still a bit of a perfectionist, though, and becoming very aware that there are some brilliant writers on Lush who put my own work to shame, so if anyone has time to provide any constructive criticism, then that would be very welcome!

I generally prefer stories which happen to contain sex, or at least where the characters have a reason to be having sex, so that's what I'm trying to write.

Oh, and the avatar's not me, but the resemblance is uncanny. Well, except that he has muscles and confidence. But we're both Australian!

Phil Udont-needtoknow
Relationship Status:
In a Relationship
Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Playing football (which some ignorant Aussies sometimes call soccer) - I'd rather watch Aussie rules football, but don't like getting hurt enough to play that...and occasionally trying to keep in shape - gym, jogging etc. Getting to the beach or bushwalking (that translates as hiking/rambling/tramping). Also been exploring meditation and yoga recently.
Favorite Books:
Umm, how to narrow it down? Perhaps a toss-up between The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and The Outsider (L'Etranger) by Camus... not sure what that says about me?
Favorite Authors:
All time favourite is probably the late, great Terry Pratchett, but also like to read the classics.
Favorite Movies:
Favourite is "Life of Brian", but watch a wide range of movies... probably more arthouse than Hollywood, and probably more likely something light and funny than something intending to terrify me.
Favourite TV Shows:
Anything but "reality" TV...
Favorite Music:
Should I mention that I was a child of the 80s? Umm, perhaps not...


Date Joined:
13 Jan 2017
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Topic: Why Welfare Doesn't Work
Posted: 14 Aug 2018 05:49

The argument here might be a little bit more convincing if there was any evidence that welfare doesn't work, or at least a definition of 'work' in this context.

What is welfare supposed to do? Get someone into a job (even if no such job exists)? Or allow people to maintain a minimum level of dignity when they can't find a job? Or maintain some sort of social cohesion where a society helps out those in need, so that they can survive without having to resort to crime? Or at least to allow children of people on welfare a chance to break out of the poverty trap by having enough resources that they can at least get an education?


One thing you might notice about this diagram is that the nations with lower 'social immobility' than the USA tend to have quite generous welfare systems. It may be that there are many other factors at work (e.g. the UK is weird... um, I mean, a bit of an outlier on this measure), but maybe, in this sense, welfare works...

Topic: Vampire in chief
Posted: 14 Aug 2018 05:34

I frankly don't know the answer to your question. But I do know this. The federal Government has been running a single payer health care system since shortly after The Civil War. In 1930 it was reconstituted under the Veterans Administration. It is and always has been a colossal cluster fuck. As Gerald Ford said, "I doubt the federal Government could make beer for less than $50.00 per six pack." If the only beer supplier in the USA was the Federal Government, you could expect hideously expensive beer, and not enough to go around. Apparently, FedGov is not currently capable of running or supporting a health care system. They demonstrate that to our veterans each and every day.

Do you not think that the private health system in the USA is a "colossal cluster fuck"? You spend a much higher percentage of GDP on health than any other nation on the planet, and yet, in terms of outcomes, you do worse than just about any comparable country.

Yes, veterans sometimes wait longer than they're 'supposed to', and I imagine that at least some don't get anything like the level of care that they deserve, but how many Americans get no care because the private system is just too damn expensive? And how much better could the veteran's health system be if there wasn't a huge incentive for the best staff to go and work in the massively overpriced private system instead?

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 11 Aug 2018 05:53

Greetings all.

Real life has been getting in the way of lush life again, but I thought I'd drop in for a quick drink. I'm sad that I missed the whole discussion about the creatures-that-must-not-be-named. Although, as I do like to tell the ladies of lush, we don't have any such creatures around these parts... no, nothing dangerous around here at all.
(Haven't yet convinced any such ladies to come visit, but you never know your luck on a big website...)

Anyway, thanks Curvy for wiping down the bar - it does seem a little less sticky than I remember it being. Could you pour me a beer, please... and maybe grab one for yourself while you're at it?
<img src="/images/emoticons/occasion14.gif" alt="occasion5">

Topic: NAME that song!!!
Posted: 11 Aug 2018 04:54

Cum On Eileen - Dexy's Midnight Runners (I think that's how you spell it - it was a gentle love song about facials, wasn't it? <img src="/images/emoticons/laughing7.gif" alt="laughing6"> )

Topic: If you like coffee...
Posted: 29 Jul 2018 05:12

If you like flowers, weddings or sex, you may or may not like my new story.


Flowers - meh. Weddings - meh. Sex - okay, don't tell anyone, but I do quite like that...

I'd add, if people like entertaining, well-written stories, then they're rather likely to like this one!

Topic: Rudyard Kipling classic poem “if”
Posted: 22 Jul 2018 18:46

I have "If" matted and framed and hanging on the wall near my office desk. It's been one of my favourite pieces of poetry since as long as I can remember.

Was Rudyard Kipling racist? Well, he was a Briton in the time of the British Empire, so by today's definition, yes. Does that make his poetry and prose racist? No.

I've long wanted to have this variant framed and on my desk at work, but I haven't yet had the guts to do so... It just seems more accurate around my workplace.


Topic: What is your definition of "freedom?"
Posted: 21 Jul 2018 15:42

Bananas are freedom.

The ability to purchase and eat a banana when you want one is freedom.

The freedom of the whole world is in danger!!!


Then we can all join together and sing that great protest song:

"Yes, we have no bananas..."

Topic: What's wrong with this sentence - niggles of language that drive me mad
Posted: 18 Jul 2018 05:19

Neptune is not a planet. that's where it went wrong.

No!!! They may take Pluto, but they will never take Neptune (from the list of planets).

And whatever you do, keep your hands off Uranus...

Topic: I am done meeting people half way. I'm done. Melt the motherfucking guns.
Posted: 16 Jul 2018 05:28

Fair enough. You can focus on what you think should be. Others will focus on what you agree is.

I'm flexible. If you want to discuss what "is", then should we talk about the massively higher death rate from guns in the US compared to any similar nation? Or the depressingly frequent school shootings that are almost unheard of anywhere else? Or the higher incarceration rate than any other nation (except perhaps the Seychelles), which has somehow failed to keep Americans safe? Or the national blind spot which sees an 18th century Constitutional Amendment as completely unamendable, regardless of how many children are shot?

Pretty sure most of this has been covered in the Think Tank already, though...

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 13 Jul 2018 05:52

Greetings all... Thought I'd pop in for a change, having almost survived another Friday the 13th here.

Slightly belated congratulations to Verbal and Layla. And a slightly belated 'welcome back' to the original and awesomest barkeep.

*Slips into his best English accent* And now, kind sir, I would appreciate a pint of your finest lager.

Is that good enough for a half-price beer? <img src="/images/emoticons/icon_smile.gif" alt="icon_smile"> <img src="/images/emoticons/pintdrunk.gif" alt="Pint Drunk">

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Recent Activity All Blogs »

Stories Published By PhilU All Stories »

Editor's Pick Welcome to Reality

I stare at my own reflection, still not convinced that that is really me. It’s not how I would usually picture myself; not how I usually saw myself. My eyes seem duller than usual. The hair on my head not quite so lush and verdant, but more hair than I’m used to everywhere else. My chest somehow thinner and not as toned. And, as my eyes roam down the reflection, I don’t quite recognise my...

Added 28 May 2018 | Category Fantasy & Sci-Fi | Votes 19 | Avg Score 4.89 | Views 5,638 | 17 Comments

Do Friends Do That?

The three of us were good friends. Nothing more, nothing less. The kind of friends who would talk about almost anything but wouldn't usually, for example, make an agreement to get naked together. That changed one warm November day. The weather in Perth was starting to settle into the inevitable summer pattern – blazing hot sun, a cloudless sky, and a refreshing sea breeze making its way up...

Added 07 Mar 2018 | Category Threesomes | Votes 36 | Avg Score 5 | Views 19,539 | 17 Comments

Recommended Read Dinner and a Show

Amanda and Matt shared a long glance as the question hung in the air, unanswered. Both understood that this decision could change their relationship; neither understood just how it would change. It was clear to Amanda that her husband wanted her to answer, “Yes.” And clear that he was not as surprised by the question as she was. It made some sense – Chris was a friend and former boss...

Added 29 Jan 2018 | Category Money | Votes 18 | Avg Score 5 | Views 3,267 | 15 Comments

Recommended Read Balls Head

Balls Head Reserve, as always, made me think rude thoughts. Not because of the name – it's a headland, named after a Lieutenant Ball, who captained one of the ships in the First Fleet. And not even rude thoughts about whoever had decided some place names shouldn't get an apostrophe. Rude thoughts based on memories. This had been our place – Skye's and mine – over twenty years earlier. We...

Added 03 Oct 2017 | Category Outdoor | Votes 18 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,923 | 17 Comments

Recommended Read Al's Add-In and the Enchanted Phone

Most people thought old McNamara's electronics store was a disorganised heap of junk.  But to me, it was a cave full of secret treasure.  I used to spend ages searching through his random collection of second hand gear, computer parts and old-school electronics kits.  It’s fair to say that most guys my age were probably happier chasing women, but computers, electronics and science made a...

Added 01 Aug 2017 | Category Humor | Votes 10 | Avg Score 4.9 | Views 1,681 | 10 Comments

The Deep End

My boyfriend’s cum slapped hot against my cheek, onto my lips and into my open mouth. Moments later, the other man’s cum landed in a streak stretching from my lower stomach to my breasts. More and more shots of cum covered me, each hot against my skin. The heat transferred straight to my pussy, taking my arousal ever higher. Then I woke with a start, breathing heavily, heart racing. I...

Added 06 Jul 2017 | Category Group Sex | Votes 21 | Avg Score 4.95 | Views 8,228 | 16 Comments

Recommended Read Highlight Reel

In my wife's view, this is not a particularly special evening. It's not our anniversary or the birthday of anyone special; just an ordinary Thursday night. The problem is that my lovely wife, for all her brilliance, warm-heartedness and all-round sexiness, just doesn't realise one important thing. The Ashes start tonight. Perhaps it's for the best, since Charlotte was born in England and I...

Added 26 Mar 2017 | Category Straight Sex | Votes 11 | Avg Score 5 | Views 4,310 | 10 Comments

Recommended Read The Snuggle Hitch

It all should never have happened. My comfortable life should have stayed just that - comfortable. If I hadn’t made a sudden decision to hire a convertible and go for a long drive, or if my GPS had not said, "Signal lost," at the worst time, or if I hadn’t missed a turn while concentrating hard on driving on the right hand side of the road, then I would never have been on that road. Even then,...

Added 25 Feb 2017 | Category Straight Sex | Votes 22 | Avg Score 5 | Views 4,494 | 23 Comments

Fancy Dress or Undressed

I shocked myself a bit when I said it out loud. Mostly I’d been attempting to amuse my friend Rob. He had a huge talent for, and interest in, inappropriate comments. But he had perhaps mastered the art of making such comments sotto voce, or at least quietly enough to not be heard by the person referred to. Just for a moment, I hoped that Sarah hadn’t heard, but she turned and approached me....

Added 24 Feb 2017 | Category Spanking | Votes 23 | Avg Score 5 | Views 11,720 | 18 Comments

Best Two Out of Three

There are some things that can be done nude, and some things that should not be.  People disagree about what belongs in what set.  Some people begrudgingly get naked to shower and maybe for sex (as long as the light's out), but are sure to cover up at any other time.  Others swim, suntan, and of course, play volleyball, in the nude.  One thing that they agree on, is that cooking should not...

Added 22 Jan 2017 | Category Threesomes | Votes 20 | Avg Score 5 | Views 16,839 | 15 Comments

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