About PhilU


My background is in hard (no pun intended) sciences, so sometimes I write stories as a creative outlet. Mostly writing for my own amusement about what interests me. Somehow those stories seem to involve quite a lot of sex (how does that happen?) Quite a few years ago, I used to read rec.arts.erotica and alt.sex.stories.moderated, and wrote a few stories which I decided needed to be polished more (and more) before letting others see them (so I never did send anything off). Years later, I find myself divorced and starting to write again, and perhaps being slightly less of a perfectionist, so I thought maybe I might share a few stories.

Still a bit of a perfectionist, though, and becoming very aware that there are some brilliant writers on Lush who put my own work to shame, so if anyone has time to provide any constructive criticism, then that would be very welcome!

I generally prefer stories which happen to contain sex, or at least where the characters have a reason to be having sex, so that's what I'm trying to write.

Oh, and the avatar's not me, but the resemblance is uncanny. Well, except that he has muscles and confidence. But we're both Australian!

Phil Udont-needtoknow
Relationship Status:
Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Local Time:
18 Dec 2017 19:59
Playing football (which some ignorant Aussies sometimes call soccer) - I'd rather watch Aussie rules football, but don't like getting hurt enough to play that...and occasionally trying to keep in shape - gym, jogging etc. Getting to the beach or bushwalking (that translates as hiking/rambling/tramping). Also been exploring meditation and yoga recently.
Favorite Books:
Umm, how to narrow it down? The Outsider (L'Etranger) by Camus was my favourite for a long time...not sure what that says about me? Maybe just that it was so different from what I'd read before then...
Favorite Authors:
All time favourite is probably the late, great Terry Pratchett, but also like to read the classics.
Favorite Movies:
Favourite is "Life of Brian", but watch a wide range of movies...probably more arthouse than Hollywood, and probably more likely something light and funny than something intending to terrify me.
Favourite TV Shows:
Anything but "reality" TV...
Favorite Music:
Should I mention that I was a child of the 80s? Umm, perhaps not...


Date Joined:
13 Jan 2017
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3,621 times
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Topic: What's your favorite Christmas song?
Posted: 16 Dec 2017 03:49

And one more from a guy who's mostly a writer of comic songs, but this one is more serious, and really captures the spirit of a non-religious, summer holiday like Christmas is (for some of us).

Topic: What's your favorite Christmas song?
Posted: 16 Dec 2017 03:44

Well, this may count as unusual... or at least a bit wrong. But I like the song (less sure about the fan-made video).

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 04 Dec 2017 13:06

I'd never seen this video before. Am loving the use of the bagpipes.


I've seen it a lot of times...although we sang "It's a long way to the shop when you want a Chiko roll" at school (a Chiko roll is a savoury snack containing... um, never been quite sure, but probably best not to know). But I'm loving the footage of Swanston St (they're rolling down one of the main streets in central Melbourne which, 40+ years later, doesn't look like that any more, but does at least connect to a lane which is now called ACDC Lane).

And RIP Malcolm Young. Apparently at his funeral last week, the pipe band played Waltzing Matilda... with a little bit of It's a Long Way thrown in.

Anyway, greetings everyone, and hearty congratulations to those who did so well with Boobies. Bit sad that I missed out on competing, but haven't even found the time to read the entries... will have some catching up to do when life gets less busy!

And a coffee please Bill.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/mblah05.gif" alt="blah5"> Oops, sorry Hannah... I meant <img src="/forum/images/emoticons/icon_rr.gif" alt="rr">

Topic: Freddy Mercury & David Bowie - Songs or Performances
Posted: 24 Nov 2017 19:32

And this one is probably just meaningful to me, but since it's also over 10 years since Syd Barrett (who wrote this song... Pink Floyd's first single) died and almost 10 since Richard Wright (on keyboards here) died, here's some rock royalty together:


Topic: Freddy Mercury & David Bowie - Songs or Performances
Posted: 24 Nov 2017 19:15

You reminded me that I haven't watched this in a few years... much too long...

Curiously enough, Bowie had the unenviable task of trying to follow Queen that evening.


Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 20 Nov 2017 02:25

Howdy all! I'll have the best vodka you have please Rumple. Been reading through some Comp entries, some great stories by some of the regulars. My own attempt won't make the deadline but maybe I'll find time to finish it at some point. There should be a badge for unfinished stories.
All this NASCAR an f'ball chatter; don't you folks realize its hockey season?

Nope, hadn't noticed any hockey going on. The Ashes start on Thursday though (I think I wrote an explanation of that somewhere ... although I may have got sidetracked during the explanation).

Well, looks like I missed the compeTITion (hmm, perhaps I should make random and slightly immature capitalisation my quirk? Or I suppose I could use this emoji <img src="/forum/images/emoticons/icon_rr.gif" alt="rr"> ) Haven't even read anything in ages - apologies to all. I'll try to get to them one day...

Anyway, hope you've all been well! Oh, and I might get in the mood for the cricket, with a beer please Bill.

Topic: The next new categories
Posted: 13 Nov 2017 13:02

EDIT: Where is Phil's blog? Unless it's called www.nope.no.website I can't find it.

Umm, I just meant the bit where I can post my thoughts (when I have any) on my homepage here. It's really not very exciting <img src="/forum/images/emoticons/embarassed.gif" alt="Embarassed"> And it would probably appear in your newsfeed if I wasn't so hopeless at sending friend requests...

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 13 Nov 2017 02:14

I realize the hubbub is slowly passing, but l liked both Mike and VG, so I will raise a glass (of coffee) to their leaving. Actually, my first reaction was that we lost the best piece of flash on Lush - VG's The Plumber. Is is cold of me to think of the story before the person?

Should I admit that my first thought was that the number of comments on my stories have gone down? Cold and self-centred. <img src="/forum/images/emoticons/embarassed.gif" alt="Embarassed"> But I will miss Mike and VG's thoughtful comments which they shared freely with relative newcomers like me. And miss their stories, and their posts around this place. So I'll raise a glass with you.

Oops, the glass is empty. Bill! Beer, please.

Topic: The next new categories
Posted: 13 Nov 2017 02:00

I said topology, 'cause I had to look it up!

In mathematics, topology (from the Greek τόπος, place, and λόγος, study) is concerned with the properties of space that are preserved under continuous deformations, such as stretching, crumpling and bending, but not tearing or gluing.

Can you imagine keeping that in mind while trying to maintain an erection?

Umm, maybe I could. Although admittedly, the topology in https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/the-snuggle-hitch.aspx was mainly as a metaphor. And because the photo prompt for the competition just screamed 'pure maths PhD student' to me (although apparently not to others... go figure).

My current story already has a map in it! Topology!

Now I just have to finish it.

Hmm, I think you may be looking for the 'Topography' category instead. Clearly, we need one of them too...

Did no one else ask for a bonnet category? *scarpers*

Well, no. But now that you mention it, perhaps 'Table Humping' should be in there too...

Topic: The next new categories
Posted: 12 Nov 2017 14:36

occasionally? your blog is the second best feature on this site!

Don't oversell it or I'll feel pressure to update it more than once every month or two. Perhaps the third best feature... <img src="/forum/images/emoticons/laughing7.gif" alt="laughing6">

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Recent Activity All Blogs »

Stories Published By PhilU All Stories »

Recommended Read Balls Head

Balls Head Reserve, as always, made me think rude thoughts. Not because of the name – it's a headland, named after a Lieutenant Ball, who captained one of the ships in the First Fleet. And not even rude thoughts about whoever had decided some place names shouldn't get an apostrophe. Rude thoughts based on memories. This had been our place – Skye's and mine – over twenty years earlier. We...

Added 03 Oct 2017 | Category Outdoor | Votes 18 | Avg Score 5 | Views 1,944 | 19 Comments

Recommended Read Al's Add-In and the Enchanted Phone

Most people thought old McNamara's electronics store was a disorganised heap of junk.  But to me, it was a cave full of secret treasure.  I used to spend ages searching through his random collection of second hand gear, computer parts and old-school electronics kits.  It’s fair to say that most guys my age were probably happier chasing women, but computers, electronics and science made a...

Added 01 Aug 2017 | Category Humor | Votes 10 | Avg Score 4.9 | Views 1,059 | 10 Comments

The Deep End

My boyfriend’s cum slapped hot against my cheek, onto my lips and into my open mouth. Moments later, the other man’s cum landed in a streak stretching from my lower stomach to my breasts. More and more shots of cum covered me, each hot against my skin. The heat transferred straight to my pussy, taking my arousal ever higher. Then I woke with a start, breathing heavily, heart racing. I...

Added 06 Jul 2017 | Category Group Sex | Votes 19 | Avg Score 4.89 | Views 6,498 | 14 Comments

Throws of Passion

Bec joined my judo class when we were seventeen, Black hair, black belt, bright smile, barely five feet tall. The first time we touched, sparks flew in my heart, I flew through the air, and forgot to break my fall. I fell head over heels in more ways than one, Almost twice her weight, but she forced my submission. I tapped out of the bout and out of my mind, To get just one kiss from...

Added 14 Apr 2017 | Category Love Poems | Votes 20 | Avg Score 4.83 | Views 523 | 21 Comments

Highlight Reel

In my wife's view, this is not a particularly special evening. It's not our anniversary or the birthday of anyone special; just an ordinary Thursday night. The problem is that my lovely wife, for all her brilliance, warm-heartedness and all-round sexiness, just doesn't realise one important thing. The Ashes start tonight. Perhaps it's for the best, since Charlotte was born in England and I...

Added 26 Mar 2017 | Category Straight Sex | Votes 10 | Avg Score 5 | Views 3,870 | 9 Comments

Recommended Read The Snuggle Hitch

It all should never have happened. My comfortable life should have stayed just that - comfortable. If I hadn’t made a sudden decision to hire a convertible and go for a long drive, or if my GPS had not said, "Signal lost," at the worst time, or if I hadn’t missed a turn while concentrating hard on driving on the right hand side of the road, then I would never have been on that road. Even then,...

Added 25 Feb 2017 | Category Straight Sex | Votes 21 | Avg Score 5 | Views 3,940 | 22 Comments

Fancy Dress or Undressed

I shocked myself a bit when I said it out loud. Mostly I’d been attempting to amuse my friend Rob. He had a huge talent for, and interest in, inappropriate comments. But he had perhaps mastered the art of making such comments sotto voce, or at least quietly enough to not be heard by the person referred to. Just for a moment, I hoped that Sarah hadn’t heard, but she turned and approached me....

Added 24 Feb 2017 | Category Spanking | Votes 22 | Avg Score 5 | Views 9,442 | 17 Comments

Best Two Out of Three

There are some things that can be done nude, and some things that should not be.  People disagree about what belongs in what set.  Some people begrudgingly get naked to shower and maybe for sex (as long as the light's out), but are sure to cover up at any other time.  Others swim, suntan, and of course, play volleyball, in the nude.  One thing that they agree on, is that cooking should not...

Added 22 Jan 2017 | Category Group Sex | Votes 19 | Avg Score 4.95 | Views 11,594 | 13 Comments

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