About PhilU


My background is in hard (no pun intended) sciences, so sometimes I write stories as a creative outlet. Mostly writing for my own amusement about what interests me. Somehow those stories seem to involve quite a lot of sex (how does that happen?) Quite a few years ago, I used to read rec.arts.erotica and alt.sex.stories.moderated, and wrote a few stories which I decided needed to be polished more (and more) before letting others see them (so I never did send anything off). Years later, I find myself divorced and starting to write again, and perhaps being slightly less of a perfectionist, so I thought maybe I might share a few stories.

Still a bit of a perfectionist, though, and becoming very aware that there are some brilliant writers on Lush who put my own work to shame, so if anyone has time to provide any constructive criticism, then that would be very welcome!

I generally prefer stories which happen to contain sex, or at least where the characters have a reason to be having sex, so that's what I'm trying to write.

Oh, and the avatar's not me, but the resemblance is uncanny. Well, except that he has muscles and confidence. But we're both Australian!

Phil Udont-needtoknow
Relationship Status:
In a Relationship
Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Playing football (which some ignorant Aussies sometimes call soccer) - I'd rather watch Aussie rules football, but don't like getting hurt enough to play that...and occasionally trying to keep in shape - gym, jogging etc. Getting to the beach or bushwalking (that translates as hiking/rambling/tramping). Also been exploring meditation and yoga recently.
Favorite Books:
Umm, how to narrow it down? Perhaps a toss-up between The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and The Outsider (L'Etranger) by Camus... not sure what that says about me?
Favorite Authors:
All time favourite is probably the late, great Terry Pratchett, but also like to read the classics.
Favorite Movies:
Favourite is "Life of Brian", but watch a wide range of movies... probably more arthouse than Hollywood, and probably more likely something light and funny than something intending to terrify me.
Favourite TV Shows:
Anything but "reality" TV...
Favorite Music:
Should I mention that I was a child of the 80s? Umm, perhaps not...


Date Joined:
13 Jan 2017
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Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 18 Oct 2018 05:14

What you and all other Rumplator-type customers need to do is check out PhilU's new story. The link's below. If the age of miracles hasn't passed completely, it might even work. Later on you can come back for another drink and leave a big tip to show your gratitude. Anyway, here's the link:


<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Thank you for the pimping there, and congratulations on getting the link working perfectly (not that I would have ever doubted that you would... ) And thanks to your lovely, curvy, bonnet flaunting assistant for a bit more pimping.

When I posted it, I was actually thinking back to a discussion in here some time ago about how to get the fewest views possible, and figuring I'd got most bases covered. It's in the 'Humor' category and a sequel to something that's probably been totally forgotten. I just needed to stretch it out a few thousand more words...

Anyway, it should make about as much sense without reading the first part as it does if you have read that part (possibly not very much sense either way), but if anyone wants to start at the 'utterly ridiculous' beginning, that's here: https://www.lushstories.com/stories/humor/als-addin-and-the-enchanted-phone.aspx

And since I read that caffeine is bad for me, I guess I'll just have some alcohol instead, because I read somewhere that it's good for you (and I believe everything I read online...). So - beer me, please!

Topic: Email friends
Posted: 15 Oct 2018 18:12

Oh I have to find this thread now. Verbal help me out.


Always happy to help...

Actually, nothing to add... just didn't want Hannah to miss the link <img src="/images/emoticons/evil6.gif" alt="evil4">

Topic: Of Ken Starr & Irony
Posted: 06 Oct 2018 05:37

I think it's more Alannis Morrissette "ironic" but I find it interesting that Clinton was accused of some bad things but ultimately got into trouble for lying under oath about something legal (getting a blowjob), and now Kavanaugh had been accused of bad things but the strongest evidence is that he lied under oath about something perfectly legal (drinking like a fish as a young man). Although it seems like he'll get away even with that (shouldn't judges have a higher respect for "the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth"??)

Topic: The UN laughs at Trump
Posted: 01 Oct 2018 15:44

Given the integrity at the UN, I'd take it as a badge of honor.

The UN has plenty of faults - it's a large scale bureaucracy where the US, Russia and China can veto any vaguely good ideas that it occasionally has.

But... this wasn't the bureaucracy laughing at Trump. This was a large group of world leaders... who tried to stop themselves laughing pretty quickly when they realized it might cause a diplomatic incident. But for a second, we all saw what those leaders (and most of the world) think of Trump...

Topic: NFL: Taking A Knee
Posted: 27 Sep 2018 16:48

I don't find Sesame Street annoying, or the View, or Saturday Night Live, or any of about a thousand other things on the TV. I just choose not to watch them.

I find Sesame Street profoundly annoying - it's the "double u, ex, why and zeeeeee" bit mostly.

I also find the playing of the national anthem before football finals (they don't bother during the regular season) annoying and silly, so I usually don't watch that bit... it might liven it up a bit of some indigenous players knelt. And, fwiw, family members have fought under the current flag and a previous national anthem for my freedom to have a healthy disrespect for authority, and would probably approve of my cynicism of any "you must love your country unconditionally and show that love in exactly the way you're told to" messages...

Topic: Christine Blasey Ford Vs Brett M. Kavanaugh... Accusations, Evidence and Public Opinion
Posted: 27 Sep 2018 16:23

His daughters will pay for this every day in school as they're taunted by their peers. Yeah, that's just the price he should pay, right?

Is that going to be justified as "collateral damage" or "sins of the father" or what?

It's not far from that argument to an argument that the Nuremberg Trials shouldn't have happened (and those standing trial allowed to go free) because some of those men had children who might have been teased...

That said, I reckon that I can count the number of controversial appointments to the Australian High Court on one finger. Maybe it's down to nominations being mostly on the basis of legal knowledge and ability, rather than being based on how much the other side of politics hates them??

Topic: Global Earth VS Flat Earth...This may be fun...smiles
Posted: 25 Sep 2018 00:17

How science debates actually work:

First, you need an area that wasn't agreed upon by anyone with a modicum of scientific knowledge several centuries ago. So flat earth theories aren't really going to work (actually the ancient Greeks had it figured out in about 500BC...)

Then people with a decade or so of training in a very specific field submit carefully planned papers to journals edited by experts in the field and they're peer reviewed by other trained researchers.

How science debates don't work:

Take a subject where only crackpots and conspiracy theorists believe one side of the argument, add a bunch of people whose only credentials are that they like reading and/or writing dirty stories (but all seem to agree anyway) and get arguments reviewed by someone who claims to be a German farm girl (whose scientific knowledge is about as credible as her 'English as a second language' claims).

Not my idea of fun...

Topic: Downloadable firearms and 3D printers
Posted: 18 Sep 2018 15:18

Yeah, you are kid of confused. Be advised that while I've never been to Australia, my wife spent some time in a place called Alice Springs. She assures me that Australians are as different from Americans as Americans are from Australians. ;-)

here's an elaboration of the analogy as it applies to America. Forgive me if it doesn't apply to Australia, even outside of Alice.

Responsible citizens dispose of their garbage properly, they don't just throw it into the street. So no rat problem develops or if it does it is a small one easily dealt with.

Similarly, responsible gun owners don't commit crimes with their guns, don't leave them unsecured as easy bait for a thief, and don't allow their politicians any slack to permit a crime problem to grow to any extent.


Things are similar here - responsible citizens dispose of their garbage properly (although they tend to call it 'rubbish'). And yet, when I've helped out on 'Clean Up Australia Day', you wouldn't believe the stuff we found dumped in the national park. Or actually, you might, because I think America might be similar on that too.

On a similar note, responsible citizens drive on the left (okay, so that might be different from the US), stick below the speed limit, never drive under the influence of alcohol or drugs etc etc. And yet, we have to have a licence - have to prove that we are competent (I had to wait three months from when I first applied until I could take a test), can be randomly stopped and asked to produce said licence and can have the licence taken away at any time for minor offences like dangerous driving...

I think the US is similar there too - I guess it's just a shame that Blackstone et al didn't say anything about cars?!?

Topic: Downloadable firearms and 3D printers
Posted: 17 Sep 2018 15:47

Agreed. But as for the guns from neighboring states causing trouble in Chicago, why don't these "crime guns" save themselves the trouble and travel expense and cause trouble in their home states? Because it isn't the guns causing the trouble, it is the criminals in Chicago. Guns may facilitate a crime but they don't cause it. The cliche goes "guns cause crime the way rats cause garbage." Clean up the garbage and your rat problem will solve itself. Clean up the criminals and the gun problem will solve itself. But for a number of reasons we can go into later if you want, politicians in the big American cities won't do the things needed to control the activities of criminals. It is hard, it is expensive, and while career criminals in most places can't vote, their relatives can. Which party do you think they tend to vote for?

I'm confused by your analogy. If your problem is with rats, then why do you want to get rid of the garbage? Surely Americans' right to throw garbage wherever they want shouldn't be curtailed just because it makes it more difficult for the authorities to control rats? And if a few thousand people die of bubonic plague then that's just the price of freedom!

Topic: Downloadable firearms and 3D printers
Posted: 17 Sep 2018 15:22

What you wrote is exactly the reason that the Second Amendment was written. That having been said, how would you feel about an American government who would nuke its own territory in order to strike at a dispersed militia? Such a government would have already lost its justification for existence and would need to be overthrown. In addition, who do you suppose would be giving and executing the orders to nuke, say, Dallas, Texas? The idea that there exists some component in the US military that would follow any such order should be troubling. But the truth of the matter would be that in any such dystopian nightmare, a good part of the military would likely be fighting with the people against the government gone rogue. The whole "Should the militia have nukes?" argument is often thrown out there as a "reductio ad absurdum" or "red herring" attempt to derail a serious discussion, but I decided to respond to it in good faith.

In response to your other point, let me make a first aid analogy. Focusing solely on events like the Mandalay Bay and Parkland shootings, as horrific as they both were, while ignoring the day in day out toll in America's inner cities is like splinting the broken leg of an accident victim who isn't breathing. You're more likely to be struck by lightening in the USA than to be shot in an event like Mandalay Bay. Meanwhile, on the south side of Chicago, you're more likely to take a bullet than if you were in Baghdad or Kabul. Yet the Left and the major media spend all of their time on the former, and ignore the latter with no rational excuse.

In general, the "militia" envisioned by the framers of the Second Amendment was modeled after that of the Swiss, citizen soldiers that could be called up in need to report with equipment kept in their homes, with a smaller contingent of rapid response units: i.e. The Minute Men." They were (and are) light infantry. Some militia in the 18th century did own small field guns, typically 3 and 6 pounders. But aside from that, they did not and do not have large crew served weapons. No B-52's, no M1A1 Abrams tanks, no 155mm heavy artillery, no nukes.

Yep, reductio ab adsurdum was exactly what I was after. Because the argument that Americans need guns because some guys in the 18th century thought it a good idea is kind of absurd.

And, I'm pretty sure I remember talking about south Chicago at times too - I think the policing effort there would probably be helped by reducing the easy access to guns in all the neighbouring states, and reversing the assumption about gun ownership from 'unless we can find that there's a good reason why you can't own that gun, of course it's your right' to 'please prove to me that you are licensed to own that gun'.

Most American's believe that the best way to keep guns away from people who shouldn't have them is to control the criminals' and crazies' access to guns, not to deny access for everyone else. This one makes the resident Cascadian a little wild but here goes.


I KNOW! But what you're doing in the US is not working...

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Stories Published By PhilU All Stories »

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