About PhilU


My background is in hard (no pun intended) sciences, so sometimes I write stories as a creative outlet. Mostly writing for my own amusement about what interests me. Somehow those stories seem to involve quite a lot of sex (how does that happen?) Quite a few years ago, I used to read rec.arts.erotica and alt.sex.stories.moderated, and wrote a few stories which I decided needed to be polished more (and more) before letting others see them (so I never did send anything off). Years later, I find myself divorced and starting to write again, and perhaps being slightly less of a perfectionist, so I thought maybe I might share a few stories.

Still a bit of a perfectionist, though, and becoming very aware that there are some brilliant writers on Lush who put my own work to shame, so if anyone has time to provide any constructive criticism, then that would be very welcome!

I generally prefer stories which happen to contain sex, or at least where the characters have a reason to be having sex, so that's what I'm trying to write.

Oh, and the avatar's not me, but the resemblance is uncanny. Well, except that he has muscles and confidence. But we're both Australian!

Phil Udont-needtoknow
Relationship Status:
Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Local Time:
21 Oct 2017 10:46
Playing football (which some ignorant Aussies sometimes call soccer) - I'd rather watch Aussie rules football, but don't like getting hurt enough to play that...and occasionally trying to keep in shape - gym, jogging etc. Getting to the beach (preferably without clammy swimwear), or bushwalking (that translates as hiking/rambling/tramping). Also been exploring meditation, yoga and tantra recently.
Favorite Books:
Umm, how to narrow it down? The Outsider (L'Etranger) by Camus was my favourite for a long time...not sure what that says about me? Maybe just that it was so different from what I'd read before then...
Favorite Authors:
All time favourite is probably the late, great Terry Pratchett, but also like to read the classics.
Favorite Movies:
Favourite is "Life of Brian", but watch a wide range of movies...probably more arthouse than Hollywood, and probably more likely something light and funny than something intending to terrify me.
Favourite TV Shows:
Anything but "reality" TV...
Favorite Music:
Should I mention that I was a child of the 80s? Umm, perhaps not...


Date Joined:
13 Jan 2017
Page Viewed:
3,229 times
Days in Chat:
Days on Site:
Forum Posts:

Following Who's following PhilU »

Not following any authors

Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 19 Oct 2017 04:30

Greetings all. Good to read some happy news from Gill and Tonya (well, happy for your son, not so happy for the truck... but objects can be replaced).

Anyway, I see that this thread is within a few hundred views of the million mark, so perhaps we should start the drinking and carousing now. Okay, well, a little more drinking and carousing than usual?

And Bill, I think it's time to break out the good glassware. Oh, this is the good stuff? Still... maybe if there's enough carousing, then no one will care.

I'll start with a beer, thanks!

Topic: Swimming pool or hot tub of cum
Posted: 19 Oct 2017 04:21

Hmm, I've been thinking about a swimming pool filled with cum. As an aside, that's a sentence I didn't think I'd ever use.

Anyway, consider a small above-ground swimming pool, say a round one with a 4m (~12ft) diameter and 1.2m(~4') deep. This has a volume of just over 15 000 litres (no idea what that is in silly non-SI units). According to wikipedia , the volume ejaculated by a guy varies from 0.1ml to 10ml. So, filling that pool would take about 1.5 million very large loads, hopefully all from carefully tested guys. Now, obviously, some guys could repeat, but that would greatly reduce their chances of managing 10mls.

Now suppose that we can fit 20 guys around the pool at a time, and they take a minute to, umm, add to the pool contents (you may need some assistants to get them prepared, and then hope they don't have an issue with being shoulder-to-shoulder with other guys). Then, to fill the pool would take around 52 days. So the contents would be a little less than fresh...

Or, as others said a little more succinctly than I did... Yuck!

Topic: Help in these difficult times
Posted: 19 Oct 2017 04:02

This is what exactly what I think. Shit has happened in our parents/grandparents lives but we have been relatively stable for a while. I have felt the shift since I first saw a DT rally on TV before he was elected. I was shocked and scared.

I want to withdraw and not pay attention but it has been instilled in me to do my civic duty. To do that I have to stay informed. I yearn for peace and prosperity and an end to the bitterness and infighting I read about and even see here.
I need to find some solace and find the things worth doing and appreciate them. Thank you for your post.

I will find REM on spotify for a good listen. I think music has always been a healing force.

Yes, well, my grandfather certainly thought reading the newspapers was worth doing... as well as speaking out against things that he didn't approve of, and using his vote wisely. And he certainly appreciated music (perhaps not REM though), art and literature (not sure what he would have made of Lush though...) I guess it's a matter of finding balance between trying to think of ways to make things better, without spending all day and night worrying about things. Easier said than done, of course...

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 16 Oct 2017 04:57

Since I seem to have the bar to myself, I might put something on the jukebox. I love this guy (not in a sexual way... although, if he asked nicely...) and this is probably not his greatest work, but in honour of the new competion:


Topic: Help in these difficult times
Posted: 16 Oct 2017 04:01

I remember my grandfather's attitude on this. He was a child during the Depression, an adult just in time to serve in World War 2 (and genuine worries about Japanese invasion) and then lived through many years of wondering if the Soviets and Americans would blow up the entire world. His attitude was that there would always be things to worry about, but there would always be things worth doing and things to appreciate.

So now I'm going to appreciate REM for a bit...

EDIT: 'This video is not available' These really are difficult times!! <img src="/forum/images/emoticons/happy8.gif" alt="happy8">

Topic: Employers now will be able to deny contraception coverage for employees
Posted: 16 Oct 2017 03:50

There are reasons to believe that if a single payer plan existed in the USA today it would not include funding for abortion and might not cover any other form of birth control either.

I don't see any reason to think that a single payer plan would be any easier to pass than the ACA was, and Obama had to agree to limit coverage for birth control as a way to get pro-life Democrats to vote for the ACA.


SCOTUS has seemed reluctant to force people to pay for things they strongly oppose, as the Hobby Lobby case and the Friedrichs case show. And there are a lot of Americans who still oppose some or all forms of birth control.



People are forced to pay for all sorts of things that they strongly oppose. For example, I strongly opposed the second Iraq War, as did millions of people in the USA, for small reasons like the fact that Iraq had no links to 9/11, no weapons of mass destruction and the invasion would just make things worse. And yet, your nation and mine have spent billions of taxpayers' money on an ill-fated expedition there.

Sadly, a single payer plan would be tough to pass in the US and probably would involve stupid political trade-offs. Doesn't mean that it should be that way. People who are strongly opposed to some or all forms of birth control can choose not to use any. It would be a benefit to the nation as a whole if taxpayers helped to pay for it for those who did choose to use some. Maybe in another generation or two, the US will catch up with the rest of the developed world on this...

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 16 Oct 2017 02:46

Evening all.

I had a very good weekend, topped off with a top 10 finish in the comp. And then today was a bit Mondayish. But now it's time to celebrate! I'm going to resist the urge to dance on the bar... well, try to, anyway.

Congratulations to the other regulars (and barkeeper!) who did so well. And commiserations to those who missed out this time, because a particular set of judges on a particular day thought their stories were not quite as good, or not quite 'bookish' enough. Still a bunch of amazing stories produced by the regulars (and irregulars) from this place.

Hopefully there's someone around who will join me in a drink - I don't care if it's early morning where you are! <img src="/forum/images/emoticons/occasion14.gif" alt="occasion5">

And then I suppose I should try to bring my thoughts to boobies. <img src="/forum/images/emoticons/love10.gif" alt="love10"> Ah, the sacrifices I make for a good cause... <img src="/forum/images/emoticons/laughing7.gif" alt="laughing6">

Topic: Announcing the Winners of our "Bookish" Story Competition
Posted: 15 Oct 2017 04:37

Woohoo! Very flattering to be selected among such a 'dirty dozen'.

Congratulations to all those who made the list, and especially to Burquette, Lupus and oceanrunner. Congrats also to all the others who submitted great stories, and thanks to Nicola and the judges for making it all possible!

Topic: Employers now will be able to deny contraception coverage for employees
Posted: 09 Oct 2017 14:05

I suspect at some point in the future more employers will be cutting back on supplying benefits and pushing the responsibility for retirement planning, life insurance, and healthcare insurance back on their employees.

Welcome to Australia. It's been like that here for as long as I can remember.

Well, that's certainly the truth and nothing but the truth. But it's a long way from the whole truth. Yes, we have private health insurance paid for by the individual (or family) and a superannuation scheme where employers are required to put 9.5% of every employees salary into a complying fund. And defined benefit schemes are mostly closed down (now that the baby boomers have made the public service version massively unaffordable, so the rest of us have to prop them up... again).

But we also have Medicare, giving a basic level of healthcare for all, paid for by the taxpayer. And a pension scheme for those who don't have enough savings to support themselves in retirement (or who manage to hide their wealth, or have it all tied up in the family home <img src="/forum/images/emoticons/angry7.gif" alt="angry7">). Both schemes would have many US Democrats running away screaming, "Socialism!" Both are a long way from perfect, but both are among the reasons why I'm glad I live here and not in the USA.

And, back to the topic, Medicare subsidises contraceptive pills, along with 'morning after' pills and abortions. Oh, and Viagra too.

Topic: Las Vegas shooting: Dozens killed in Mandalay Bay attack
Posted: 07 Oct 2017 04:53

I feel like I'm not getting across to people. Let me try an analogy.

Imagine there's a group of people in danger of dying from thirst. You're about to dip into a well, fill a bucket with water, and carry it to them via a long difficult journey.

And you're pissed at me because I pointed out that your bucket has a hole in it. You're insisting that this is the only bucket that will work. I'm not saying to let them die. I'm not saying you're an idiot for trying to take them water.


I know I'm pages behind on this thread, but I like stretching metaphors to their breaking point, and I find this an interesting variation on a pretty standard conservative argument - "you can't give a perfect solution, so we shouldn't change anything at all".

But, back to your analogy. Every other developed nation, when faced with the issue of a bunch of buckets with holes in them and people dying of thirst, pick up the best buckets they can find and start carrying water. A lot of water leaks out, so they patch them up as best as possible. Still, water leaks and tragically, people die. But, they get some water there, so fewer people die than if they didn't try in the first place.

Whereas the US says, "You can't make us carry buckets, because our freedom is so important. Besides, our buckets leak more than anywhere else, because we're completely different from everywhere else, so we're not going to try. So we'll sit here and do nothing while those people die. If an enormous number die on a single day, then we might even pay some attention briefly and maybe even look at those other countries carrying buckets. But it's probably not a good time to talk about buckets when all those people have just died..."

back to top

Recent Activity All Blogs »

Stories Published By PhilU All Stories »

Recommended Read Balls Head

Balls Head Reserve, as always, made me think rude thoughts. Not because of the name – it's a headland, named after a Lieutenant Ball, who captained one of the ships in the First Fleet. And not even rude thoughts about whoever had decided some place names shouldn't get an apostrophe. Rude thoughts based on memories. This had been our place – Skye's and mine – over twenty years earlier. We...

Added 03 Oct 2017 | Category Straight Sex | Votes 21 | Avg Score 5 | Views 1,386 | 20 Comments

Recommended Read Al's Add-In and the Enchanted Phone

Most people thought old McNamara's electronics store was a disorganised heap of junk.  But to me, it was a cave full of secret treasure.  I used to spend ages searching through his random collection of second hand gear, computer parts and old-school electronics kits.  It’s fair to say that most guys my age were probably happier chasing women, but computers, electronics and science made a...

Added 01 Aug 2017 | Category Humor | Votes 10 | Avg Score 4.9 | Views 922 | 10 Comments

The Deep End

My boyfriend’s cum slapped hot against my cheek, onto my lips and into my open mouth. Moments later, the other man’s cum landed in a streak stretching from my lower stomach to my breasts. More and more shots of cum covered me, each hot against my skin. The heat transferred straight to my pussy, taking my arousal ever higher. Then I woke with a start, breathing heavily, heart racing. I...

Added 06 Jul 2017 | Category Group Sex | Votes 21 | Avg Score 4.95 | Views 6,093 | 16 Comments

Throws of Passion

Bec joined my judo class when we were seventeen, Black hair, black belt, bright smile, barely five feet tall. The first time we touched, sparks flew in my heart, I flew through the air, and forgot to break my fall. I fell head over heels in more ways than one, Almost twice her weight, but she forced my submission. I tapped out of the bout and out of my mind, To get just one kiss from...

Added 14 Apr 2017 | Category Love Poems | Votes 21 | Avg Score 4.84 | Views 477 | 23 Comments

Highlight Reel

In my wife's view, this is not a particularly special evening. It's not our anniversary or the birthday of anyone special; just an ordinary Thursday night. The problem is that my lovely wife, for all her brilliance, warm-heartedness and all-round sexiness, just doesn't realise one important thing. The Ashes start tonight. Perhaps it's for the best, since Charlotte was born in England and I...

Added 26 Mar 2017 | Category Straight Sex | Votes 11 | Avg Score 5 | Views 3,759 | 10 Comments

Recommended Read The Snuggle Hitch

It all should never have happened. My comfortable life should have stayed just that - comfortable. If I hadn’t made a sudden decision to hire a convertible and go for a long drive, or if my GPS had not said, "Signal lost," at the worst time, or if I hadn’t missed a turn while concentrating hard on driving on the right hand side of the road, then I would never have been on that road. Even then,...

Added 25 Feb 2017 | Category Straight Sex | Votes 23 | Avg Score 5 | Views 3,808 | 24 Comments

Fancy Dress or Undressed

I shocked myself a bit when I said it out loud. Mostly I’d been attempting to amuse my friend Rob. He had a huge talent for, and interest in, inappropriate comments. But he had perhaps mastered the art of making such comments sotto voce, or at least quietly enough to not be heard by the person referred to. Just for a moment, I hoped that Sarah hadn’t heard, but she turned and approached me....

Added 24 Feb 2017 | Category Spanking | Votes 24 | Avg Score 5 | Views 8,951 | 19 Comments

Best Two Out of Three

There are some things that can be done nude, and some things that should not be.  People disagree about what belongs in what set.  Some people begrudgingly get naked to shower and maybe for sex (as long as the light's out), but are sure to cover up at any other time.  Others swim, suntan, and of course, play volleyball, in the nude.  One thing that they agree on, is that cooking should not...

Added 22 Jan 2017 | Category Group Sex | Votes 19 | Avg Score 4.95 | Views 11,337 | 13 Comments

back to top

Attach a note to this member, which only you can see.

Tell us why

Please tell us why you think this profile page is inappropriate.