About PhilU


My background is in hard (no pun intended) sciences, so sometimes I write stories as a creative outlet. Mostly writing for my own amusement about what interests me. Somehow those stories seem to involve quite a lot of sex (how does that happen?) Quite a few years ago, I used to read rec.arts.erotica and alt.sex.stories.moderated, and wrote a few stories which I decided needed to be polished more (and more) before letting others see them (so I never did send anything off). Years later, I find myself divorced and starting to write again, and perhaps being slightly less of a perfectionist, so I thought maybe I might share a few stories.

Still a bit of a perfectionist, though, and becoming very aware that there are some brilliant writers on Lush who put my own work to shame, so if anyone has time to provide any constructive criticism, then that would be very welcome!

I generally prefer stories which happen to contain sex, or at least where the characters have a reason to be having sex, so that's what I'm trying to write.

Oh, and the avatar's still not me, but I'm starting to identify with him way too much! I missed him during Halloween...

Phil Udont-needtoknow
Relationship Status:
In a Relationship
Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Playing football (which some ignorant Aussies sometimes call soccer) - I'd rather watch Aussie rules football, but don't like getting hurt enough to play that...and occasionally trying to keep in shape - gym, jogging etc. Getting to the beach or bushwalking (that translates as hiking/rambling/tramping). Also been exploring meditation and yoga recently.
Favorite Books:
Umm, how to narrow it down? Perhaps a toss-up between The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and The Outsider (L'Etranger) by Camus... not sure what that says about me?
Favorite Authors:
All time favourite is probably the late, great Terry Pratchett, but also like to read the classics.
Favorite Movies:
Favourite is "Life of Brian", but watch a wide range of movies... probably more arthouse than Hollywood, and probably more likely something light and funny than something intending to terrify me.
Favourite TV Shows:
Anything but "reality" TV...
Favorite Music:
Should I mention that I was a child of the 80s? Umm, perhaps not...


Date Joined:
13 Jan 2017
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Topic: R.I.P. Bob Hawke, Australia's "Larrikin" ex-Prime Minister
Posted: 16 May 2019 15:49

I suspect the name doesn't mean much to most Lushees, but I'm very sad about Bob's passing (I contemplated using his full name to show respect, but I'm assuming he'd be flattered that, even though I never met him, I feel like we should be on first name terms).

His government's reforms are primarily responsible for what's coming up to 28 years without a recession, but he brought them in with negotiation and consensus rather than the division of Thatcher or Reagan.

If he'd lasted a couple more days, he'd have (hopefully) seen another Labor government... Anyway, I'll raise a glass (but not a yard glass) to a great Australian. But maybe I'd better wait until noon at least...

Topic: Suffrage
Posted: 15 May 2019 18:51

The secret of Australia's high voter turn out - democracy sausages - has been discovered!

I didn't think it was a secret... Australians talk about sausages quite often...

Although I'm not sure if I'm more upset about that time when I went to vote and there was no sausage sizzle (the disappointment has faded a little over the years since then), or that that BBC guy is having his sausage without tomato sauce!!!!

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 14 May 2019 04:46

Good evening/morning, Mr Foreskin

I've meaning to swing by this establishment for a while, but real life gets in the way sometimes. It's just as I remember it, but I suppose that can't be helped...

Anyway, yes, much to my surprise, I seem to have picked up one of them EP thingies. I was just happy to actually finish a story for a change. I've also added a few letters to my forum rank...

So, to celebrate, I'll buy a round of beers, and while I drink all of those, I guess everyone else is probably going to be coffeeing (except for those who prefer koffeeing...)

Topic: Why are space aliens usually naked while humans wear clothes?
Posted: 13 May 2019 01:27

You're assuming they use their butt to poop. These are aliens. Maybe the waste exits by a different route.<img src="/images/emoticons/dontknow.gif" alt="dontknow">

You're assuming that there's waste. Maybe they've found a way to consume only what their bodies need while flying across the universe? <img src="/images/emoticons/dontknow.gif" alt="dontknow">

As for the nudity, I assume it's because many (if not all) reports are dreams and/or fantasies and people like the idea of the aliens being naked and probing their butts (seriously, if some advanced species really wanted to know more about us, wouldn't they think of a better approach than sticking stuff where the sun don't shine?) But if that's what they're into, then who am I to judge?

Topic: Suffrage
Posted: 12 May 2019 01:56

Just to clarify - my 'none of the above' vote would have been added to the "Informal" column with those left blank and those from people who don't understand how to vote in our preferential system. So it didn't achieve much, but it made me feel better.

And while there are arguments against our voting system, one big argument for it is - we've never elected anyone like Trump to any position of real power (although some of our Senators <img src="/images/emoticons/angry7.gif" alt="angry7"> )

Topic: Suffrage
Posted: 09 May 2019 23:15

South Australia was second after NZ (predating Australian Federation) and there was some confusion as to what to do when Federation occurred in 1901, but by 1902 women had the vote. Well, most women... much to the nation's shame, indigenous Australians didn't have full voting rights nationwide until the 1960s...

And we have compulsory voting which I'm slightly torn on. On the one hand, people should have the right not to vote (although there's nothing stopping someone adding a 'None of the Above' box and putting a '1' in that box... it was quite satisfying the only time I've done that), but on the other hand, it does seem to pull the major parties back towards the 'centre' a bit.

Topic: Announcing the Winners of our "Notorious" Story Competition
Posted: 02 May 2019 15:39

Congrats to Hannah and congrats to the rest of the top 10 who really deserved to be up there (except that PhilU guy... how'd he sneak in there?). And congrats to all those who submitted great stories and could easily have been on that list... apologies to those that I haven't got to yet. It was a fun comp to participate in!

Topic: Are you a Bullshitter ?
Posted: 02 May 2019 01:02

An Australian surprised about bullshitting? Well I'll be.......................... <img src="/images/emoticons/angel7.gif" alt="angel7"> <img src="/images/emoticons/regaeman.gif" alt="Regaeman Man">

Just surprised that the Canadians won... although it was teenagers bullshitting about maths knowledge. If it was middle-aged men bullshitting in the hope of corrupting innocent young kiwi women, then there might be a different result. Anyway, must run... I can't remember where I parked the black Ferrari... <img src="/images/emoticons/regaeman.gif" alt="Regaeman Man">

Topic: Are you a Bullshitter ?
Posted: 01 May 2019 20:25

Curiously enough, though, while North Americans were found to bullshit more than people from other nations looked at, in the US, the gaps based on gender and wealth are the smallest. I think that means everyone bullshits there.

And on overall levels of bullshitting, Canada pipped out the US for the gold medal. That surprised me, at least a little...

Topic: Throwback Thursday
Posted: 25 Apr 2019 19:20

dearest, remember this is only for Thursdays! You're a day too early!

To be fair, it was well and truly Thursday here by the time he posted. It's not any more, but since I'm here, and it's definitely Thursday somewhere, I guess I could be talked into blowing my own trumpet...

I wouldn't say I was ever 100% happy with anything I've written (probably never will be either...), but I was fairly happy with this one:


It was written a bit over a year ago, although it's very loosely based on a story I started decades ago (and then accidentally deleted). I reckon it's possibly my best hope of ever getting a famous story (probably sometime around 2030). It's also the only time the title has been more than an after-thought (it appears exactly once in the story...)

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Stories Published By PhilU All Stories »

Editor's Pick Acting

“I think of myself as an actor, first and foremost. That’s the real skill. Anyone can...” I pause for effect, watching her doe eyes widen. She’s young, sweet and innocent, but not stupid. I need to play it gently. “Can do what I do. The skill is in walking past everyone as though nothing has happened. Blending into the background.” “Goodness,” she says. “Have you ever...” She pulls a...

Added 25 Apr 2019 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 30 | Avg Score 5 | Views 850 | 31 Comments

Recommended Read Al's Add-In 2: One Thousand and One Orgasms

I noticed her as soon as we entered the party. A stunning, curve-hugging purple dress, straight jet-black hair, pierced nose and eyebrow, and a smile of recognition when she saw my boyfriend, Al. So I was a little surprised when he steered me away from her. Actually, really surprised, since he’s seldom assertive, and because that took him straight into the very large embrace of the...

Added 16 Oct 2018 | Category Humor | Votes 8 | Avg Score 5 | Views 1,514 | 9 Comments


Ten days we’d been apart. Work, families, life just getting in the way. I’d booked our favourite restaurant; a chance to talk, reconnect. We met at her door. No talking; there was no need – her eyes’ shining desire mirrored mine. Our bodies moulded together; our tongues danced a familiar dance. She dragged me inside, the door still closing as I pushed her against the wall. She explored...

Added 02 Sep 2018 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 20 | Avg Score 5 | Views 1,216 | 23 Comments

Editor's Pick Welcome to Reality

I stare at my own reflection, still not convinced that that is really me. It’s not how I would usually picture myself; not how I usually saw myself. My eyes seem duller than usual. The hair on my head not quite so lush and verdant, but more hair than I’m used to everywhere else. My chest somehow thinner and not as toned. And, as my eyes roam down the reflection, I don’t quite recognise my...

Added 28 May 2018 | Category Fantasy & Sci-Fi | Votes 19 | Avg Score 4.89 | Views 8,732 | 17 Comments

Do Friends Do That?

The three of us were good friends. Nothing more, nothing less. The kind of friends who would talk about almost anything but wouldn't usually, for example, make an agreement to get naked together. That changed one warm November day. The weather in Perth was starting to settle into the inevitable summer pattern – blazing hot sun, a cloudless sky, and a refreshing sea breeze making its way up...

Added 07 Mar 2018 | Category Threesomes | Votes 38 | Avg Score 4.97 | Views 25,070 | 17 Comments

Recommended Read Dinner and a Show

Amanda and Matt shared a long glance as the question hung in the air, unanswered. Both understood that this decision could change their relationship; neither understood just how it would change. It was clear to Amanda that her husband wanted her to answer, “Yes.” And clear that he was not as surprised by the question as she was. It made some sense – Chris was a friend and former boss...

Added 29 Jan 2018 | Category Money | Votes 19 | Avg Score 5 | Views 4,504 | 16 Comments

Recommended Read Balls Head

Balls Head Reserve, as always, made me think rude thoughts. Not because of the name – it's a headland, named after a Lieutenant Ball, who captained one of the ships in the First Fleet. And not even rude thoughts about whoever had decided some place names shouldn't get an apostrophe. Rude thoughts based on memories. This had been our place – Skye's and mine – over twenty years earlier. We...

Added 03 Oct 2017 | Category Outdoor | Votes 18 | Avg Score 5 | Views 3,553 | 17 Comments

Recommended Read Al's Add-In and the Enchanted Phone

Most people thought old McNamara's electronics store was a disorganised heap of junk.  But to me, it was a cave full of secret treasure.  I used to spend ages searching through his random collection of second hand gear, computer parts and old-school electronics kits.  It’s fair to say that most guys my age were probably happier chasing women, but computers, electronics and science made a...

Added 01 Aug 2017 | Category Humor | Votes 10 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,453 | 10 Comments

The Deep End

My boyfriend’s cum slapped hot against my cheek, onto my lips and into my open mouth. Moments later, the other man’s cum landed in a streak stretching from my lower stomach to my breasts. More and more shots of cum covered me, each hot against my skin. The heat transferred straight to my pussy, taking my arousal ever higher. Then I woke with a start, breathing heavily, heart racing. I...

Added 06 Jul 2017 | Category Group Sex | Votes 21 | Avg Score 4.95 | Views 9,593 | 15 Comments

Recommended Read Highlight Reel

In my wife's view, this is not a particularly special evening. It's not our anniversary or the birthday of anyone special; just an ordinary Thursday night. The problem is that my lovely wife, for all her brilliance, warm-heartedness and all-round sexiness, just doesn't realise one important thing. The Ashes start tonight. Perhaps it's for the best, since Charlotte was born in England and I...

Added 26 Mar 2017 | Category Straight Sex | Votes 12 | Avg Score 5 | Views 4,720 | 11 Comments

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