Forum posts made by playsit

Topic Just a little note regarding submission edits...
Posted 24 Feb 2015 14:14

Thank you for sharing some valuable pointers. I didn't realize a spell checker was available. It seems everytime I hit the submit button, it's then that I notice a spelling error, not one of the dozen other times I read it. Every new poet should read this, hell, even the seasoned ones can use a reminder of how the poem flows. Thank you.

Topic what are you drinking?
Posted 21 Feb 2015 19:24

Water, mmmmm... I really hate watching my calories !

Topic Which are you?
Posted 21 Feb 2015 19:21

I would consider myself a Dom who enjoys being a sub on occasions. I suppose that makes me more of a switch, even though that wasn't one of your options.

Topic Which improvements or features would you like to see added?
Posted 21 Feb 2015 18:34



They're still showing for me on the comp page.

Ok... my mistake. I originally tried to access through the 'post a story ' area without thinking the comp was over. I just noticed that they are in fact linked together under the button 'competitions' above the genre selection buttons. I never noticed that before.

Topic Which improvements or features would you like to see added?
Posted 21 Feb 2015 18:27

I'd like it if once a competition has ended, all of the stories didn't disappear from the list.

It would be good to be able to go back through and read the other entries for posterity, but especially in a comp that's just ended when you've not managed to read all of the entries before they disappear - they're all lost now and while I will most likely manage the entries by my friends (eventually), the chances of me catching any others are very slim...

It's a bit frustrating...

I was kinda frustrated by this today as well. Even if they were grouped for a month would be nice, but to have all the entries permanently linked would be awesome. There have been comps in the past I'd like to read more from since I don't have a lot of time to read many stories.

Topic What's the weather like where you are?
Posted 20 Feb 2015 09:42

No streaking today! Embarassed

No kidding! -9°F (-23°C) this morning.

Topic What Are Your Favourite Sex Toys
Posted 19 Feb 2015 14:06

I have an anal vibe I'm very fond of.

Topic How big a gap in years would you consider ok for a sexual partner?
Posted 19 Feb 2015 14:03

For me, sex is an intimate time with someone I have a relationship with. It depends on the person, but as long as we can talk about life and have things in common, age is just a number. 12 years younger seems to me the perfect age difference though.

Topic What's your favorite story catergory?
Posted 19 Feb 2015 13:53

Both poem catagories and flash erotica simply due to time constraints. If time was no issue the reluctance genre really appeals to me.

Topic What are you listening to right now?
Posted 19 Feb 2015 13:46

The sound of my desktop water fountain soothing my mind which is good because the only other sound is that of the furnace feasting on my paycheck.

Topic Will you watch fifty shades of grey?
Posted 17 Feb 2015 03:34

I have watched it already.

I read the books in three days and enjoyed them very much. There's not good writing in them and I think they have lots of wrong ideas, but god, it was so fucking fun.

So I knew that I was going to watch the movie. I enjoyed it, but not as much as the books. It's better done than I expected, actually.

Totally agree with Marta. The books will never be considered classic literature and the cast will not be winning Oscars for their acting, but if you allow your mind to excuse all that, both the movie and books can be quite erotic. I did like the books more than the movie, I found it was more erotic to interpret the scenes in my mind than be spoon fed, but who dislikes the sight of a woman having an orgasm, even if it is just acting?

Topic Do you insist that a vote on your story be commented upon.
Posted 11 Feb 2015 13:58

I tend to not put much weight on votes. People are very kind here, well most anyway, and usually award a 5. I put more interest in the comments since it takes time for the reader to leave one. I would hate to keep someone from commenting because they're forced to or because their phone has a hard time with that feature as mine often does.

Topic Procrastinating: What should you be doing right now instead of being here?
Posted 06 Feb 2015 16:06

I should have my charcoals out or at least have an instrument in my hands... but no, I'm wasting precious alone time cruising the forums. Ok, here I go

Honest

Topic I am a new arrival. LOVE this site!
Posted 06 Feb 2015 15:15

Welcome to our wonderful community Coleen. Kick your shoes off, grab your favorite beverage and hang out for a while. Your colleagues pointed you to a great site. Have fun.

Topic Fellow Lushies, what think ye?
Posted 04 Feb 2015 07:23

I have been reading and re-reading this thread with great compassion for both you and your wife. Just such a difficult time for you and such a challenge to re-build your emotional lives together after the turmoil of your serious illness and coping with treatment. I think Derek's advice is inspired, and wish I'd have thought of it! Sending my very best wishes for happier times xx

Just another of life's challenges CG. Many times in life we are presented with obstacles. Some force us to go through and some we have to climb over, if we're to continue down the same path. Some obstacles we are forced to detour around and maybe, just maybe, we can find the same path if we look long enough... or, maybe we stumble across a different path. I'm not ready to find a new path quite yet. life sure is an adventure.

Thank you for the wishes.

Topic Fellow Lushies, what think ye?
Posted 04 Feb 2015 07:14

My Darling 'MrSit' - just cuddle her, laugh with her and love her.

Just like me, you are long-time married and reality is, illness aside, you are unlikely to swing from the chandeliers, but does that really matter in the grand scale of what you have experienced and lived through together? Loving each other is key.

So glad you are recovered.

M xxx


Good to hear from you my long time friend. I do plan to swing from the chandeliers once again. Married for a long time doesn't mean it's ok for passion to fade away... that's just not good enough for me M.

I'm not fully recovered yet, but getting there day by day :)

Thanks for the thoughts

Topic Fellow Lushies, what think ye?
Posted 03 Feb 2015 09:09




John, what I mean is you don't know the reason for her reticence. You can't fix it if you don't know for sure what it is. Personally I wouldn't Assume things should get better when hormones are "back to normal". I am afraid that you both will not address the problem "until it gets better" only to find that things are never going to be the way they were before your treatment.

From what you've said on this thread it seems to me the situation is tormenting both of you. I agree with Al that you would find more clear answers from a relationship counsellor than on a forum on an erotic story site but of course that's your choice. The reason I suggest counselling is to try to get her to open up to you. You two have been married for a long time. It can't be easy having to adjust to something like this on your own. If all else fails, isn't it worth considering? Just my personal opinion and I sincerely hope this is something you find the answers that you are looking for. Big Hugs

I think the idea DPW suggested is an excellent one. It would be fun for both of you.




Thanks trinket. I hear what you're saying. Somehow, we've figured out how to make "us" work. The closest we've been to separating is when we were in counseling. No two different people in the history of mankind have figured out how to coexist like her and I. How's that for over dramatization? Seriously though, we've had therapists look at us and with a shaking head tell us they don't know how we're still married... That was a dozen years ago and we're still together. Do I wish she was more passionate? Hell yeah, but I guess I'm a little gun shy when it comes to our wonderful mental health/counselor professionals.

I too, like what DPW suggested. The steps are small enough even I can handle it :)

Topic Fellow Lushies, what think ye?
Posted 02 Feb 2015 16:53

I have a situation not totally unlike yours. My wife doesn't want sex. She had it when we were first together and we have three kids (one daughter from previous marriage (her Dad was killed) that I adopted) and two with us. Once the last was born, she had tubes tied and no matter circumstances just didn't want sex and occasionally would let me "have her" really no passion so not enjoyable to her or me. I can get that much passion and thrill beating my meat and cumming. I love her, great cook, good marriage partner, kind-hearted, just sex not for her.

So what then, sex magazines, porn sites, blue movies etc. Now in my late sixties, erectile issues and thanks to Lush and the people I've met and chatted, rp'd and talked on phone with I have regained some sexual fun. I also found that I am very interested in exploring my bi-curious streak and wanting to have male/male relations as a bottom to give me sexual satisfaction. I have done some self sex with dildo and anal plugs and some household item insertions that really pleased me emotionally and physically.

So what I am saying is, explore your own path and satisfy yourself to keep your happiness and if she will participate with you some for mutual satisfaction or, at least, interaction...so much the better. But do what you need to continue your path of self-respect and self-enjoyment because you will live with yourself longer than anyone else in your life.


There is not much worse than loving a woman who isn't interested in intimacy when your hormones are in high gear. I wentered through that for 25 years until I found out I wasn't fulfilling her needs in her everyday life. When I straightened that out, intimacy was awesome. Take some time for self reflection and check that out.

Oh, right. Sorry we were talking about me. Thank you for your thoughts. I hope it never gets to the point I give up on her.

Topic Fellow Lushies, what think ye?
Posted 02 Feb 2015 16:44


Here's a thought because I just re-read your bio. You're a romantic, what about a little roleplay on your part. Don't tell your wife.
Start dating her. Go back to what got her interested in you. Don't be in a rush to have sex, you took your time I presume, we all did. Get her to the point where she wants you as much as you want her.
It may just work.

Derek, that is a great idea. I just wish I could be spontaneous with this. Guess I'll have to schedule some things. Thank you.

Topic Fellow Lushies, what think ye?
Posted 02 Feb 2015 16:40




This bothers me. Have you been to an independent relationship counsellor? It might help you both to talk about this without any focus on the medical side of things. Concentrate on the emotional side of it. You both know what has brought about these issues. It seems to me the issue that needs addressing is how to relax enough to communicate properly.

Sometimes we need a little help sorting our thoughts out in a way to achieve this. Try taking it away from the medical POV.

I wish I could approach this as a relational issue, truth is it's almost all medical. I know I put too much pressure on myself to perform sometimes, but the truth of the matter is all this should go away when the hormone drugs run their course and my testosterone returns. The immediate problem is getting her to participate. Talking it through in this forum has opened my eyes to a few things Trinket.

Topic Fellow Lushies, what think ye?
Posted 02 Feb 2015 16:28



After a year he finally gets it back through meds the Docs say to use. Who can blame him for being a little over excited and wanting to be with her, have her touch him?

He is asking for help on how to make it better with his wife, that strikes me as him not being a selfish lover viagra makes you horny if he took some especially after a year without sex then he was likely on fire...only he can correct me if I am wrong but im sure his hormones were raging.


Oddly kiera, viagra didn't work that way with me. Actually Viagra didn't do anything, so my doctor gave me another med. I guess without testosterone, it has nothing to team up with. I'm no chemist, so I don't really know how they work. At least withe this new drug my insides feel different. Erections don't just come automatically like I thought and my hormones don't rage :( maybe one day soon.

Topic Fellow Lushies, what think ye?
Posted 02 Feb 2015 16:17



Well for starters, you shouldn't feel so blasé about your wife's feelings.

There isn't anything we can tell you that your wife already hasn't, or hasn't been trying to tell you.

So listen to her .

The situation you described sounds like she was coerced into it by you after already expressing her unwillingness, but she went through it anyway to appease you. If you've never been in that position, then you'll never understand what that does to a person. It's unpleasant (that's an understatement). Don't be so quick to downplay it as sympathy sex, because I guarantee you that it's much, much deeper than that.

You say you felt like shit afterwards. Multiply that by 100, and that's how she felt.

It may not seem like such a big deal, but to your wife, you need a pill in order to have sex with her. It may not be rational given your ailments, but that's her state of mind. So to pop a pill after over a year of being physically unresponsive to her and say 'Hey baby, let's get this cracking' and expect things to happen without a hitch is naive at best.

This is something that you need to address with your wife, because if you don't, it's only downhill from here.

It's great that you've come such a long way given your illness and treatments. Lots of people never reach the point you have.

But in these situations, communication is key. Talk through these things.

When your wife finally came around and joined you, did you tell her how sexy she was and how good she was making you feel? Prior to getting things started, did you tell her how much she turns you on and how much you needed her and how glad you were for the opportunity and ability to make love to her again? That would have gone a long way and probably would have yielded a better outcome.

It seems like between the both of you, there's been a lot that's been unsaid. Communicate, communicate, and communicate again. You've both been through a traumatic time together, don't take that for granted.

Firstly, thank you for taking time to comment. I appreciate all feedback, especially well thought out responces.

Blase' is never how I approach her feelings, I can see how it may have come across that way. You raise some good points though. Fair enough, maybe sympathy sex was not how I should have felt, but that was my initial reactionary thought, good or bad.

Also, this was not an all of a sudden thing. From the day I found out I had cancer, we read books together describing treatments and the challenges we'd late face. We discussed the importance of making sure my nerve endings stayed sensitive. Every time we talked about it her response was "yeah, I know", but nI thing ever became of it. That's where the frustration was born.

You also bring up a good point. I do not remember offering words of affirmation. I guess once I got started alone, it became more of a medical necessity than loving intimacy. My passion is returning, but I still need to be mindful of these things as it's not natural at the present.

Topic Fellow Lushies, what think ye?
Posted 02 Feb 2015 09:55



#1) The way you've written this experience (I took a pill - I asked my wife to help me out) suggest that perhaps intimacy in general is a bit fractured. Understandably - people tend to equate intimacy WITH sex and sexual satisfaction after a time . . . however, kisses, touches not meant to arrouse - this creates and maintain a physical connection with your loved one.

When one is ailing - physical casual touches become fewer and further between sometimes. When you're sick you might not want to, if you've had a bad day she might not want to, etc. It's normal - it happens - it sucks.

So perhaps focus on rebuilding your intimate relationship even without trying to initiate any level of sex would do well for both of you.

#2) When you want to try to engage in sexual-related activities involve your wife, not just in the 'try to get me hard' phase - but in the decision in the beginning. At least a conversation about it before you do this: "I took the pill then asked my wife if she would join me in bed since physical touch helps activate its effects"

Here - you choosing to pop a get-hard pill and then trying to involve her is somewhat backwards. Here I can see how she might feel like 'a prostitute' (though I think her saying that is going a bit to an extreme). But still - her sexual interests at that moment -- did they occur to you? Maybe she was having a bad day and even without the cancer and the pills - she wouldn't have wanted to.

#3) age . . . hormones. Women, as they age, seem to grow away from sex. Quite a few men on Lush are in a sexless marriage because the wife has lost that zeal. It's highly possible that some of what she's experiencing is part of this natural development that some women go through and unrelated to you entirely.



Your first thought reminded me of a few things regarding intimacy. The hormone drugs completely removed my passion to the point she had to remind me to kiss her bye. I had to have my phone set for alarms to remind me to send her a random text... something that was automatic for me. She told me my kisses were empty and even my touch was different. She jokingly called me Lenny. My soul wasn't there.

Second, your thought about the way I went about everything is probably spot on. Sometimes frustration gets the best of me.

Third, again... you are right. There is some of that happening. I understand a lot of that since my testosterone was removed. From moodiness to hot flashes. She actually took great joy in my going through that. I had it coming, so I just laughed along with her. I told her for years her thermostat was broke. It really does suck though. I feel for all you ladies that are going through that.

Thank you for your thoughts

Topic Fellow Lushies, what think ye?
Posted 02 Feb 2015 09:39




"Medical professionals" CAN and DO help to an extent... BUT what they CANNOT provide for either of you is what Kiera and I have both been addressing, each in our own way. And that is loving conversations that build bridges of understanding between the two of you. UNLESS and until that happens the problems ... for BOTH of you... will persist, simple as that.

There can never be too much communication WD... in any relationship. We talk alot about this, but probably not enough. I hear you though. Thank you.

Topic Fellow Lushies, what think ye?
Posted 02 Feb 2015 09:32



If she wont help with her hands have you asked if she will use her mouth?? :-"

Sorry I will be serious now...have you tried posting in the Aunt Olivia forum thread?? Perhaps posting in there will get you a better response to your query.

Is it possible during all this she may have sought comfort with someone else? I am sorry to ask but it does happen sadly?



Please don't apologize for humor - laughter is healthy. I've not heard of Aunt Olivia, I'll have to look her up. I'm very happy with the responses here. People have offered well thought out comments. Even the ones that may seem a little harsh have buried in the text some thoughts worthy of consideration.

You know Kiera, she could go her entire life without sex and it wouldn't bother her. The fact that she responds to my touch is amazing. Never say never, but I'd be completely shocked if she found comfort with someone else. Good thought though.

Topic What are you listening to right now?
Posted 01 Feb 2015 11:44

A favorite song from Luke Bryan - Play it Again

Topic Fellow Lushies, what think ye?
Posted 01 Feb 2015 11:40

Hi

As hard as this has been on you it was also hard on your wife and I have heard in these instances that watching a loved one sick can sometimes depending on the level of care and emotional turmoil the spouse is going through can sometimes cause resentment which then causes mass amounts of guilt for feeling that way when their loved one is sick??

Also she has been able to enjoy a level of sexual release when you could not so again enter guilt...Its also possible that after all this time through no fault of your own that the fact that you have had to use medication has left her a little insecure that she isn't desirable enough for you?


Kiera, thank you for both your warm thoughts and your insight. She has told me of some of these feelings, so I know your thoughts are right on. It concerns me that even after everything we've been told by a whole team of medical professionals, she is reluctant to offer her helping hands. Then look at me and say "don't make me do this"? That's what really bothers me I guess... that she makes it seem like a chore. Sigh

Topic Fellow Lushies, what think ye?
Posted 01 Feb 2015 11:25

I would take the advise of a doctor/counselor only, and not of armchair quarterbacks. That is called common sense,

You betcha Adagio. We've heard from the professionals, but basically we are left to struggle through this on our own because of the hormone treatment. All they can do is tell us it will get better in time, which doesn't really help in everyday life.