Curious by natureSo, curious...Are You, too, Ma'am?Update: I moved out from my folks, so more privacy but a little more lonely. Still working 3 part-time jobs, hopefully that will change too... Oh, and though I have more free time when i'm home alone now, I broke my laptop when I moved, so I can only get on here with my tablet... so that's frustrating and too slow... i took this test, and since i was in a position of admitting things - i realized that even though i don't think about it i am who i am and like what i like...https://bdsmtest.org/result.php?id=563053Submissive by nature as well, however, i was trained in college by Dr. Paula, one of my Psych professors as her sub, and later after i moved in with her, she coached me to Domme her. i didn't realize at the time how rare our relationship was, being young and naive... So i "let" her move out east for a tenured position.Now i miss my position with Her. Now, on with the show...I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELEDi'm a girl, i like being a girl, 23 at this point, but also just 4' 9" so shrugs i'm still only as tall as when i was "just" a girl. Now i don't feel like i'm 'just' anything i'm pretty awesome and accept who i am...i have desires, they're not fetishes, as i don't need anything in particularDon't need to play out my "mommy" issues with every Lady i see, would like to see, wonder about seeing, want to see, want her to see me, is she looking at me?... and so on... You get it don't You Ma'am?I've got issues, so I'm dealing with them as best as i can... Could you help me be a good-girl for You, Ma'am?My fortune cookie said..."You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today." [- In bed...]Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.Pondering To reconcile the illogical conflict inherent, when humans interact emotionally with one anotherFirst things first, I'm a very short redhead, 4' 9" but i tell people i'm 4' 10 so i don't need a car seat... ;-Di enjoy switching, cyber, and role-play a nice detailed pleasurably developed scene played leisurely. I should put in this caveat - i'm trying to learn to play leisurely... i was trained to react 'frantically' so i need to learn and adapt to condition myself to respond differently for Ladies who aren't so comfy with how my frantic response can manifest itself. Let me know if You have any ideas or preferences, one of my fondest desires is to be found to be pleasing for the Ladies i get the chance to know, and spend time with.They call me quietbut i'm a Riot!i don't need fixingi'm not sad - that might be melancholyand i like minor tonal music, atonal too... but lyrics... yesmaybe a bit dis-associative, but i'm ok with that...maybe i'm a bunny, but not afraid of Cougars, i call them Ma'am...They purr like kittens or roar like pumas...You don't need no stinking badgers...Maybe i don't want to be foundbut subtle use of rhythm makes me squeal...Enough for now... againA spirit of Ennui has possessed me... More rantings, wanting more... yes, me, wanting moreYeah, You know who You are!i'm a bad girl, and that's alright with me...if you need an alibi, i'm your girl, We were together -She used me all night long...What's the fun in playing it safe?Wouldn't You rather i misbehave?i'm a bad girl, that's why we get alongCan't make excuses for anything i'm doing wrongi like it in the wet patchin the middle of the bedfeeling prettysuch a good girlYou make me make those noisesSo mean, you make me screamit's really not fair, and that's okaywith usbut i don't want to be the only one making all the noise...I love penetration, just not a guy attachedSo it wasn't my idea, what you gonna offer now?Ok... now to continue...I have Mommy issues, and they play out with older women. So let me know if that bothers you, Ma'am. It's not like a fetish that i can't live without. I enjoy egalitarian relationships, as well as the give and take of D/s, as i'm comfy being a switch. And I'll try to behave... Unless you'd rather have me behave otherwise...I like to be "a good-girl" for Lady's who want specific behaviors from me. But, that does not necessarily mean, i'm being good... We can, however be epic when i'm being perfectly bad... in just the right way, with the right Lady, at the right time, place and situation... - shrugs - just askRecent/current musings...I revel in breaking rules and obligations...Do me a favor, please? grab a hand full of my ass, while cupping one of my breasts, then kiss me hard, taking my breath away. Ahh, THAT feels right...Granting Lady's access to me, my body, mind and spirit gives me joy and strength, because I can use my individual integrity, and autonomous female agency - it's about me, and my choices. Searching for a relationship, but not an asymmetrical power dynamic, rather an egalitarian context. Lesbian ethics is a framework for action. It emphasizes that through examining and questioning the foundation of patriarchal oppression and how it permeates every aspect of social interaction, one discovers that it is possible to engender individual moral agency and integrity that exists outside of it. Lesbian ethics therefore seeks to generate ways in which lesbians can weave a different locus of value, one where lesbian choices, actions, and reactions lead away from the path of oppression, and one where lesbians become an energy field capable of resisting oppression.i Know: less than i've forgotten...i've learned: I'm a switch, and I've been dealing with my life as: a "good-girl" with mommy issues, all my life. I knew from a very young age that I liked my girlfriends more than they liked me. Or differently than they liked me, they definitely didn't like me the way I wanted them too. Nor would they let me like them the way I wanted to like them...except for Kelly, but then i was forbidden from seeing her anymore...I feel: i will always belong a bit to three Lady's from my life. So, my inner sub (i) only have about a quarter of myself available to share. I told a professor some of my inner feelings, and she said, among other things. "Still waters run deep." That, and a lot of other things I didn't understand at the time, partly because she was seducing me after grading the exam i'd just finished in her office, late at night, after her course was over, and she submitted my grades, and taught me what new pleasures there were in submitting to my desires to be a good-girl for a Lady who knew what, and how she wanted me, and was willing to help me learn to give in to what i desired most, not to her, but to my desires - what a wicked, wonderful, experience that has been...I Saw: Luckily enough, a neighbor Lady, and i caught her eye too. She taught me that it pays - to be a "Good-Girl" for a "Nice, Older, Lady" and that we could count on each other. Her to get what She wanted from me, and i from Her... and later in college, how to get more of what i needed/wanted - if i'd only give in to my desire to get what i really wanted from Them.[Spoiler alert] Time, Attention, Affection, Appreciation, a little "after-care"...other senses tingle to be elucidated uponmore to cum...I meditate and do distance energy work (reiki), I make note of that because I truly feel that there is a reflection made between us, of our feelings, and being - terribly excited... gives more power to that energy/or energy to that power.+++ I hope you will feel a secure connection with me, so that You and i can cum together here and, enjoy the exploration that our mutual desires (and in my case, some not so willing desires), i'm willing to submit to your desires, even if they're not mine (in pursuit of getting what i want and need - to surrender to those feelings of being a good-girl, for You, Ma'am. I learned in studying psychology, and eastern spiritual practices that there's little difference between a connection of minds separated by distance and a shared real experience - when both desire to be in a moment, together.
http://driftingthrough.com/2015/11/20/the-thing-all-women-do-that-you-dont-know-about/_____Clip from the articleWe are acutely aware of our vulnerability. Aware that if he wanted to? That guy in the Home Depot parking lot could overpower us and do whatever he wants.Guys, this is what it means to be a woman. We are sexualized before we even understand what that means. We develop into women while our minds are still innocent. We get stares and comments before we can even drive. From adult men. We feel uncomfortable but don’t know what to do, so we go about our lives. We learn at an early age, that to confront every situation that makes us squirm is to possibly put ourselves in danger. We are aware that we are the smaller, physically weaker sex. That boys and men are capable of overpowering us if they choose to. So we minimize and we de-escalate.So, the next time a woman talks about being cat-called and how it makes her uncomfortable, don’t dismiss her. Listen.The next time your wife complains about being called “Sweetheart” at work, don’t shrug in apathy. Listen.The next time you read about or hear a woman call out sexist language, don’t belittle her for doing so. Listen.The next time your girlfriend tells you that the way a guy talked to her made her feel uncomfortable, don’t shrug it off. Listen.Listen because your reality is not the same as hers.Listen because her concerns are valid and not exaggerated or inflated.Listen because the reality is that she or someone she knows personally has at some point been abused, assaulted, or raped. And she knows that it’s always a danger of happening to her.Listen because even a simple comment from a strange man can send ripples of fear through her.Listen because she may be trying to make her experience not be the experience of her daughters.Listen because nothing bad can ever come from listening.Just. Listen._____i ran across this article, when i was looking for some information on how to deal with a similar situation that happened to me just recently. While at work, and then again out in the parking lot later after work from the same guy waiting around for me to come out. i had to get a handle on what i did, how i felt, and get over the oppressive cloud i was under afterwards. Anyhow, i was just wondering - can guys relate to this, how we have to deal with these issues all the time...
I'm a push-over, seriously, push me down, I give-in...Easy as pie, I'm usually moist.Love, sue
I lived with a Lady in college, and she showed me how she could make me do it when ever she wanted. But I hsd to be well hydrated and her secret was both deep g-spot stimulation, and intense, unrepentant, relentless over stimulation of my clit. But I'd gush, and I'm always leaky... tmi Love, sue
Thanks so much for asking. i've learned that it's so much more fun and freeing to admit what i like than feel afraid that i'll either loose a new friend, or the opportunity to get to know someone else and what they like. Love, sue
? i think it's an individual thing. As long as the individuals involved are happy with the dynamicsFor myself, i seem to be "hard-wired" towards more mature Ladies... shrugs i don't fight it anymoreBut it does matter!Love, sue
Yes, pleasure is Mythic, as in unbelievably, unbearably awesome, yes... shrugs - it depends on definitions too, i guess...i had some great teacher/trainers who shared with me what they had learned themselves, and helped me experience and grow. As a sub, i was taught, learned, experienced how it's possible to experience every little sensation on a spectrum of pleasure, some can be viewed as "Painful" when they're very intense, and others so delicate that they are purely "Pleasureable".For me, i guess, it's easiest to let go, i've practiced meditation techniques, and naturally in that pursuit one can choose to let go of "conscious" mental activity, a decreased sense of the personal "I", and overall awareness/mindfulness of being at one with the present, some practices look at focus, surrender, disolving or melting into "Being"Love, sue.
i try to make it a point to be as accommodating as possible, to any approachable Lady at any time. But i try to be safe, and sane, though i've had and lost quite a few jobs because of it. So, Yes, (i don't like to say now) client, customer, vendor, co-worker, boss, manager, owner, etc... Fun is what one makes it... Sometimes though i had to defer till after a shift when it just isn't practicable, like when working in a small shoe store for example. That's led to in vehicles in the parking lot, or at another location.sue
i let my mind wander all the time, and while at the Mall, i've found myself following a Lady, while i'm thinking about all of the aspects about her that i admire, the things about her that appeals to me. Then i usually let myself be obvious, sometimes i get that angry stare, like i've offended them with my interest. And once in a while i meet a new friend, letting her know that i'm open to more. i'm a flirt, so i also notice when a Lady is watching me. i love it when i find myself the object of a Lady's attention, especially when she flirts, and is so pleased when i flirt back. i've been so busy working that i might have to go out shopping tomorrow, my first day off in quite a while. So looking forward to some time to myself.sue Ok, i'm rambling... not that that's unusual or anything... But i should either go sleep or - then sleep easier and deeper. i guess i'll go read something or chat...Ta ta for now...
Yes, i'm 4' 9", and i always make sure to stretch when measured at the doctor etc, drivers license etc... that i'm 4' 10"...
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