Forum posts made by principessa

Topic I am done meeting people half way. I'm done. Melt the motherfucking guns.
Posted 23 Apr 2018 20:00

So now we have to meltdown all the white vans, or should it be all vans? At least 10 dead in Canada, no AR-15, no 45, no guns at all.


I live in Toronto. Your flippant remark is tasteless in the circumstances.

It has been a horrible day here. Toronto is now the newest member of a club no one wants to join. Someone with a van mowed down pedestrians walking on the street on a beautiful spring day. Just like what happened in Nice, France, in London, in New York, and elsewhere.

Kudos to the police, fire, EMTs and others who responded quickly to help. The perpetrator was apprehended without a shot fired despite his taunting the PO. Typical Canadian reserve and understatement. The latest number of deaths is ten, and I believe at least sixteen people were injured.

This is a wonderful city: beautiful, diverse, open, and peaceful. People are kind and generous. We will survive this and tend to those impacted by it. The hate that was the genesis of this attack will not root here.


Topic Alex Jones of InfoWars
Posted 19 Apr 2018 11:01

This is what some people are ready to believe in the US today. He is a purveyor of conspiracy theories and lies to an audience ready to eat them up rather than actually doing some reading and thinking on their own. The world has changed in ways difficult for them to accept and explain. So this is a way of making sense of it as counterintuitive as that is to anyone with an IQ higher than their body temp.

To say that the massacre of small children and their teachers at Sandy Hook is a hoax is not just patently untrue, but is a despicable lie and disrespectful to all the parents and families who have lost someone. He is beneath contempt, or perhaps an intellectual in Trumpworld.

Topic I need your help, Lushies
Posted 11 Apr 2018 17:04

Your friend must decide for herself to take back control of her life and that of her children. She needs support in a few ways. There are support groups for abused wives and families and shelters for those who must leave their homes and have nowhere else to go. She may well need counselling or therapy from an appropriate medical professional. She needs to consult with a family law lawyer to understand her rights in this situation and take the necessary legal steps for support and custody of her children and a separation agreement or divorce. She will have to separate herself financially from her husband and establish credit and bank accounts of her own if she does not already have them. If her husband is violent, she may have to get a restraining order to keep him away from her and the children. It may be necessary to either deny him access to the children or allow it only under strictly supervised conditions. This is all complicated and harrowing for someone going through it with an abusive spouse. No matter how well meaning, friends can only offer moral support, but the decision and carrying through with it are all up to her.

You have given her good advice in telling her to document everything. A journal kept with notes written contemporaneously of her spouse's words, behaviour, actions are a good record for her lawyer and the court. Like many such men, her husband revels in exerting power and control over her and the children. Leaving for good can be a difficult decision and can have some peril for her, but there is a lot of support in the community for women in this position. You can help her find these resources, but again, the decision to act is hers alone.

Topic I am done meeting people half way. I'm done. Melt the motherfucking guns.
Posted 25 Mar 2018 07:14

Home sick with a cold. I watched the coverage all day yesterday.

The marches are wonderful, but have to be followed by action. People need to morph this into votes for the right candidates. Everyone of the appropriate age should be registered to vote. Registration drives should be organized in every state and at every school, college and university. Candidates in the pocket of the NRA should be given a reason to regret taking that money and supporting that organization in blocking reasonable limits on guns and appropriate vetting of owners and users. There is a midterm election in November. Volunteer for the candidate in your district who will support an end to the NRA's influence. Give time to canvass and get out the vote. Make your presence known. Change is possible. Expose those who take large amounts from the NRA. Lobby against candidates and businesses that support them.

Young people led their elders to end the war in Viet Nam and they can lead again to end the proliferation of guns in the US. No weapons of war should be legal. No one with a criminal record or a history of domestic violence should own a gun. If people who have certain illnesses must be reported to the authorities by their doctors to remove their licences and ability to drive, then there must be a way of doing the same with those whose mental instability is connected to violence and a wish to perpetrate it. Not everyone with mental health issues falls into this category. Most have normal neuroses and even manic depression and bipolar conditions can be stabilized by medications. You cannot arrest someone before they actually commit a crime, but you can find ways to limit their ability to arm themselves as these shooters have done. There is no perfect solution. But every bit of change that moves in the right direction is progress. Take enough steps and actions and it adds up to enormous change. The NRA will say there is no solution that works. Tell them that the perfect should not stand in the way of the good. Every life thereby saved would make even incremental change worthwhile. Change Congress by electing representatives who will move forward on gun control. Use the power of the ballot box. Every legitimate poll says that the vast majority of Americans want gun control. Make this coming election the NRA's worst nightmare.

I will get off my soapbox now.

Topic At least sixteen dead in Parkland FL high school shooting.
Posted 15 Feb 2018 17:47

This has nothing to do with guns. This has everything to do with people who are mental.

This is about guns and mental health, together and separately. We can hold two thoughts in our heads at the same time. Guns should be controlled in the US as they are in other developed countries. At the least assault weapons should be banned along with other weapons that are meant only to kill people rather than be used for hunting - for all except the armed forces and certain segments of law enforcement. People with mental health issues should not be permitted to purchase, own, or possess guns. Doctors must report those who suffer from diseases which disable them from driving safely. Why can this not happen regarding guns and mental health issues?

This interestingly combines two areas where the US differs from other western first world countries: gun control and healthcare, including mental healthcare. The idea that there is an inherent right to own weapons is anathema in other countries, but not in the US. And the idea that healthcare is a for profit industry rather than a right is solely American. Both are the opposite of what they ought to be.

Topic At least sixteen dead in Parkland FL high school shooting.
Posted 15 Feb 2018 16:09

We have been here before. We will be here again. If I hear one more politician say he sends thoughts and prayers and that this is not the time to talk about gun control, I will scream. When will Americans demand that their lives and those of their children are more important than the NRA and the right to bear arms? When will politicians have the courage to face down the NRA and make change happen? When will enough be enough? It is not a matter of better mental health care or gun control alone. Both are necessary as is a societal change in America. There are many things that have to be done. Any progress on this is better than none, but the NRA will block any form of gun control and those who receive their money in Congress and at state level will not act. Who has to die for the response to be more than platitudes?

I naively thought that after the killing of six-year-olds and their teachers and administrators at Sandy Hook that America would finally have had enough. I was wrong. Americans' love affair with guns has to be put to an end but I no longer have faith that it will happen.

Topic Should Gay Conversion Therapy for Minors be Illegal?
Posted 30 Jan 2018 11:13

I don't see it as abuse. When they get old enough to make their on decisions they can. It is the parents obligation to streer their children in the direction they think best. There are probably as many professionals that believe it is better to put them in therapy as there are that believe they should not be put in therapy. My statements support the parents making the decisions for their children. Not the government.


With respect, you do not seem to understand that being gay/lesbian is not a choice, but something that is hard wired in individuals just the same way as being straight. It is the same as being born with blue or brown or hazel eyes. You cannot convert gays with therapy any more than straights could be converted. So this is not something for parents to direct or change, but rather just to accept and support. If parents' religious convictions conflict with this, they will have to make a choice between religious dogma and love for their child, which for most parents comes without conditions. As to your view that this is government interference, keep in mind that sexual orientation is a protected right under the constitutions and jurisprudence of all western democracies.

Topic Aziz Ansari Sexual Assault Allegations. Do you consider what he did sexual assault?
Posted 23 Jan 2018 08:36

I have already posted twice with my opinion on this, so I will not repeat what I have said.

I wonder if anyone thought about irony when Grace was chosen as her pseudonym. Grace is one thing she has not displayed in this situation. As Burquette said, the fact that Aziz has not revealed her identity tells us something about him. He is the one behaving with grace right now.

Topic Aziz Ansari Sexual Assault Allegations. Do you consider what he did sexual assault?
Posted 22 Jan 2018 11:12

She gave and received oral sex to be polite? It’s not “probably not”. It is not even close to being “rape or sexual assault on a par with what other women have suffered” and it’s an insult to them that you would even suggest it. She participated willingly. He stopped when she asked him to but she continued to participate in more sexual activity several times during the date. She was free to leave at any time and she said he didn’t force her to do anything. There was no assault. He didn’t break the law, so if anyone is in the wrong here, it’s the woman. She’s sullied his reputation.

Being polite my ass. Who has sex to be polite?

Pigs must be flying. I agree with you.

I think she wants her fifteen minutes of fame, especially now that she can get on the #metoo wagon. Her behaviour makes women into mute objects rather than adults with free will and mouths to speak for themselves. She wanted to latch on to some of the light attached to him. To expect romance with someone you don't know and willingly undress and engage in oral sex (both ways) is disingenuous. It was a hookup, not a Valentine card. She knew it and regretted it afterward. He did nothing without her consent, even if it was silent. She could have left at any point, including immediately after dinner and the tragedy of getting the wrong wine. She sounds immature, entitled, and displays a complete lack of self-awareness. And she had no compunction about anonymously making these allegations public, naming him. Not cool.

Topic Aziz Ansari Sexual Assault Allegations. Do you consider what he did sexual assault?
Posted 19 Jan 2018 15:00

I agree with those who say that she had chances to leave and that she participated willingly in sexual activity. I read her account of the evening. I think that she wanted to hook up with a Hollywood star and had some regret about what transpired afterward, but unless Ansari had ESP he could not have known. She certainly could have gone home after dinner, or not undressed, or not taken part in oral sex. This was not romance. It was a hook up. She knew what she was signing up for and her silence was consent. She was not drunk or drugged or incapacitated in any way. She should have used her voice and taken responsibility for herself. If this was the worst night of her life she is a very lucky young woman.

I consider myself a feminist, but I am older than this young woman. I object to this brand of feminism that infantilizes women by allowing them to abdicate taking responsibility for their actions and words or lack thereof. Are we to go back to fainting couches and clutching our pearls?

Something else that bothers me about this is exposing him in this situation while maintaining her anonymity.

Topic Awesome Award 1/16/18: Green_Man
Posted 17 Jan 2018 14:52

Congratulations. Very few people have built the body of work that you have. Know that you are a treasured member here.

Topic What is your definition of racism?
Posted 18 Dec 2017 09:24

If you cringe when Roy Moore's wife says: "One of our lawyers is a Jew" you're probably not a racist. If you don't, you probably are.

And that was a take on the old cliche of "some of our best friends are Jews/black".

It certainly made me cringe.

Topic Advice before submitting a story
Posted 17 Dec 2017 15:39

Sorry if I'm posting in the wrong forum.

As an aspiring writer, with english as second language, should I consider converting centimeters (cm) and kilograms (kg) into feet/inches and pounds in my stories?

Thanks principessa and everyone else for a treasure trove of great advices.


Whatever you feel comfortable with is okay. There are readers of all nationalities here.

I appreciate the thank you. You're welcome.

Topic Alphabet Songs (A-Z)
Posted 15 Dec 2017 15:55

I Am Woman - Helen Reddy

Topic What should be done about Roy Moore?
Posted 14 Dec 2017 19:29

Topic What should be done about Roy Moore?
Posted 12 Dec 2017 19:35

Doug Jones has won. This is the first time a Dem has won in Alabama in 25 years. It shows that there is a line across which people will not go even in this environment of tribalism in US politics. Decency won. Trump trounced Clinton here. It can be seen as a rejection of a terrible candidate but also a message for Trump who supported him. I suspect the GOP is relieved that they will not have to figure out what to do with Moore had he won.

If this can happen in such a red state, it is good news for the Dems in 2018.

Topic Who else here likes calligraphy?
Posted 12 Dec 2017 19:23

I like it. I haven't written it in a long time. But now I am going to buy some calligraphy things again and try it out again.

Me too. Focusing on something like that is a great way to clear your mind and the results can be so beautiful.

Topic What's your favorite Christmas movie?
Posted 11 Dec 2017 18:08

Love Actually

Topic Is there anyone who thinks this tax reform is actually a good idea?
Posted 07 Dec 2017 08:00

Wrong! While I often agree with what Damon says, I never agree with how he combines that with ad hominem insults and attacks. You may have noticed that he treated me like that too. The reason I'm not mentioning him, is that he is not whining about being attacked himself. Damon does not seem to expect to be treated any better than he treats his opponents. Ckc obviously does and that's what I addressed.

I've gone over a number of threads and apart from one post where someone said he didn't believe she's a lawyer, I failed to find any real personal attacks on her. Her claim that she is bullied and abused is simply unfounded and, considering her own attitude, hypocritical.

Thank you. This is a place where strong opinions are expressed. That is the point. It is not a place for personal attacks and vitriolic name calling instead of a reasoned argument to express your opinions. Doing that to others and then complaining that you are being treated badly is disingenuous and hypocritical. After initially tangling with her and being subjected to comments like Trump would not travel to Canada to grab my pussy, I would not engage again, not because I was cowed by her venom, but because it was not worth my time and attention. She showed us who she is. I believe her.

Topic Cookware
Posted 05 Dec 2017 16:05

I have both stainless steel and enamelled cast iron. The stainless steel is great for everyday use and you should try to get a steamer insert for one of the pots, if not one that fits several of them. The enameled cast iron (like Le Creuset or Staub) is expensive but is a lifetime investment. A large covered pot is good for all kinds of braises, soups, and cooknig in large quantities. What they call a braiser is good for roasts and things like paella and risotto and a grill pan is great for doing just that when it is too cold to go out and barbeque or if you live in an apartment building and cannot do so. The enameled cast iron does not need to be seasoned, holds heat and is easy to clean. It is worth saving for them and buying piece by piece. creuset.jpg

Topic Moderator of the Month, for November
Posted 04 Dec 2017 15:04

Ruthie is full of humour and intellgence. It is no wonder that we all adore her. Well done, Ruthie. Pour Wine

Topic Movies Z-A
Posted 03 Dec 2017 17:28


Topic NBC's Matt Lauer fired over accusations of sexual assault/rape.
Posted 03 Dec 2017 13:44

I'm not sure why this has become a natural act of powerful men. They need to think with the other head. Put yourself in the place of being assaulted, would you like it? I think not!

It is precisely because of their power that they feel free to act. They have no empathy or sympathy for others, rather just an entitled narcissism. The sex is an exertion of power, and feeding themselves, not an expression of love or anything else. Many live in a world where they are catered to and/or feared because of their position and money. No one ever says no to them. I am certain that the tsunami of perpetrators falling now is a shock to each and every one of them. They never imagined they would be exposed and lose their positions.

Topic Humanizing monsters - Monstering humans
Posted 01 Dec 2017 12:03

I agree with Whiskey_.

There is no moral equivalence between the perpetrators and victims that would lead me to view them with the same empathy. The majority of those whom we have learned about in the past couple of months have acted at the least inappropriately and at the worst criminally with women (and in some cases men) over a long period of time. This is not a lapse of judgment in a single instance but rather a longstanding pattern of behaviour that was tacitly permitted in the workplace or other environments. There is no coming back from that to restore them to their previous positions in the workplace or society in general. My concern would be focused on the victims and taking action to ensure that workplaces are not safe places for such behaviour no matter how powerful one is. Everyone has to understand that they cannot stand by while a predator acts with impunity. HR departments must deal with this fairly and transparently rather than seek to protect the status quo and the employer. If that is really not possible than the policy in such cases should be a referral to outside independent counsel to investigate.

The stream of revelations keeps on as the weeks pass. One can hope that we are reaching a watershed moment in the culture where there will be no tolerance for the previous norms that permitted this.

Topic How do you feel about very rude people on this site
Posted 01 Dec 2017 10:27

There are some, especially in the threads oriented toward politics. Some people can argue their points reasonably and without insult, but others thrive on invective. The latter write to provoke. I try to ignore them and not give them any attention.

Topic Another former Trump adviser has been charged in Mueller's investigation
Posted 01 Dec 2017 09:29

He entered a guilty plea admitting lying about conversations with the Russians. Remember it is illegal to conduct foreign policy before you are sworn in as President. Flynn got a good deal so I would surmise that he is giving them a lot of information about higher ups. Flynn was with Trump constantly during the campaign. There aren't that many bigger fish than Flynn, so if he's playing ball, someone pretty high up is going down. Grab the popcorn.

Topic One year anniversary of Trump
Posted 29 Nov 2017 14:01

Now he is said to claim in private that the "Access Hollywood" tapes are fake. He has already given a rare apology about the "grab them by the pussy" remark, acknowledging its authenticity. Why the turnaround?

He is also repeating the allegations that President Obama was not born in the US. Whether this is part of his con man mentality and elastic view of the truth or an indication of his delusions and obsession with President Obama I don't know. He seems to think that he can rewrite history at will depending what suits him on any particular day. Of course every revision paints him in a better light and diminishes those whom he dislikes or outshine him. Why is objective truth such a difficult concept for him?

Topic What is your top secret talent? (Non sexual)
Posted 28 Nov 2017 15:55

Knitting, sewing and needlepoint. All taught to me by my mother.

Topic How much do you love to read and how often?
Posted 28 Nov 2017 15:52

Given that I do a lot of reading and writing in my work, it is still a pleasure to read books that have no work application. I read more fiction than non-fiction and have stacks of books throughout the house. I usually have more than one book going at a time, and read at least one each week. I have been trying to cull books and give them away, but many are hard to part with. I have an ereader, but still prefer the old fashioined book in my hands.

Topic Humanizing monsters - Monstering humans
Posted 28 Nov 2017 11:23

The incivility we have seen in politically related threads here in the Think Tank show how polarized things are. People live in silos and shut off alternate views and opinions which is bad enough, but they also argue with disrespect and disdain for those that disagree with them. There seems to be no middle ground, no way to reconcile views or come to consensus to make progress. That happens with ordinary people as well as politicians and the talking heads on television.

Insults have been thrown around with impunity among posters. Not everyone, but more than enough for it to be evident. If we delegitimize those who disagree with us, it is easier to discount not only their opinions, but them as individuals, not worthy to be heard.

I have ideals and principles, but I am not naive. I don't expect us all to agree, but I hope we can treat each other with some grace and respect. Michelle Obama's advice applies whatever side you are on: When they go low (the other side), you go high. The ugliness we have seen during the election campaign and in the past year feels unprecedented. Spiraling lower and lower diminishes us all.