Forum posts made by principessa

Topic At least 18 children and 9 others dead in Connecticut school shooting. Does this change your mind ab
Posted 20 Dec 2012 09:33

I read LM's post.

And now the conspiracy theories will begin, deflecting attention from the real issues of a violent society and culture, inadequate support and treatment for mental health issues, and inadequate regulation of and limitations on guns.

Topic At least 18 children and 9 others dead in Connecticut school shooting. Does this change your mind ab
Posted 19 Dec 2012 12:35

Even more amusing is that these discussions scare people into buying more guns because they're afraid they won't be able to later on.

Amusing? I can't imagine the mind that could perceive anything in these events as amusing. It does give me some insight into the mind of someone who may have guns but shouldn't, given how little you value human life.

Topic At least 18 children and 9 others dead in Connecticut school shooting. Does this change your mind ab
Posted 17 Dec 2012 08:42

Just a question here, don't get me wrong there are some very valid points in this thread but are we now not...

Dude, with respect, this is an important enough topic for there to be a full discussion. The event that opened the discussion deserves our attention.

Topic At least 18 children and 9 others dead in Connecticut school shooting. Does this change your mind ab
Posted 17 Dec 2012 08:37

There was apparently a spike in gun sales over the weekend, just in case there is regulation in the future. Many of these guns are purchased at gun shows, where no background checks are done. Surely even those of you who do not want regulation would agree that this loophole should be closed.

Topic At least 18 children and 9 others dead in Connecticut school shooting. Does this change your mind ab
Posted 16 Dec 2012 15:45

In November Americans bought more than 2 million guns. On Black Friday, the FBI reported more than 154,000 background checks for gun purchases. There are more stores selling guns in the US than McDonald's. And that does not include all of the gun shows and sales there which skip the background checks. (from ABC News)

Why is this necessary?

Topic Abortion and the Death Penalty
Posted 16 Dec 2012 15:15

Nice biased assessment of an opinion you don't even identify with.

Let's be clear about something else, too. You don't really deserve the dialogue you asked for.

Thank you, Lady X. Over and out.

Topic Abortion and the Death Penalty
Posted 16 Dec 2012 15:04

if someone dies for a crime they didn't commit, I'm okay with that.

Really? Even if it were a relative, friend, or your partner? You would just say oops...... So you are okay with taking an innocent life after all, despite your argument against abortion. Only in this instance it is a real, living human being. So who is illogical?

Topic Abortion and the Death Penalty
Posted 16 Dec 2012 14:32

Becky, what happens when someone is wrongfully convicted? It is bad enough to spend time in prison for a crime you did not commit, but to die for it? These cases do happen. What would you do about it?

Topic The Gun Control Debate Thread.
Posted 16 Dec 2012 14:06

Some of the comments here remind me of a line from an old comic strip: "We have seen the enemy and he is us."

The US has more than 300 million non-military weapons - almost one per every person, adult and child, in the country. Why? What civilized country lives that way? Americans can sometimes be obnoxious in their exceptionalism, the idea that they are somehow better than the rest of us in the world. This time you are an exception in the circle of civilized countries - and not in a good way.

Those who worship at the shrine of the NRA would have teachers armed. Maybe they would have the students armed too. Training could start in kindergarten. Children could learn to shoot before they learn to read. By high school they could shoot AK-47s or God knows what weapon. Perhaps that could be necessary for high school graduation.

Look at the world you have created. Think about it. The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. You are right. People kill people. But they kill people with guns. This has to change. I am naively hopeful that this time, finally, the NRA will lose its grip on your Senators and Congressmen and that sensible regulation will follow.

Topic At least 18 children and 9 others dead in Connecticut school shooting. Does this change your mind ab
Posted 14 Dec 2012 14:29

While there may be no proven link between violence in the media and games and perpetrating it on others, I do think that these movies, games, and even some music desensitize people to real violence and the impact it has on real people. Carnage may seem like an extension to a game, with no sense of how it shatters lives - real blood, real injuries, real people.

Topic At least 18 children and 9 others dead in Connecticut school shooting. Does this change your mind ab
Posted 14 Dec 2012 10:24

I have just seen the news about the latest mass shooting in the US. While I understand that those in the country might want rifles for hunting, does anyone need an assault weapon anywhere? As I understand it they are made to kill people. Does this confirm your opinion about banning assault weapons or change your mind?

Topic Last Two Letters ....
Posted 12 Dec 2012 18:17


Topic Great Film Scenes
Posted 12 Dec 2012 07:40

The shampoo scene in "Out of Africa".

Topic Royal Nurse Commits Suicide After Prank Radio Call
Posted 11 Dec 2012 13:26

you know that they were trying to humiliate this poor woman. You know for certain that she was supposed to be the target of this prank from the very beginning

Either you have not read opposing views carefully or did not comprehend them. No one has said that this woman was deliberately targeted. The point was to make whoever answered the phone look foolish and see if they could get away with it. The prank was random in choice of victim - whoever spoke to them. So no one thinks they chose this particular nurse, but they do accuse the djs of thoughtlessness carrying this out. Period. Of course they could not predict that it would go this far, as you have argued, but that is precisely the point - that they were willfully blind in carrying out their sophomoric fun.

Topic Royal Nurse Commits Suicide After Prank Radio Call
Posted 11 Dec 2012 08:34

This article was under the one linked above. Worth reading.

A victim of today's culture of casual cruelty
Of course, no harm was intended. Of course, it was just meant to be a harmless prank. But surely there is an important lesson for us all in the very sad affair of the hoax Aussie phone call.
The consequences for everybody involved – from the distressed royal couple, to the shocked and hounded Australian DJs, and most of all to the tragic nurse Jacintha Saldanha and her family – are a reminder that every thoughtless prank has a victim and that nobody can predict how a vulnerable individual will react to what somebody else thinks of as ‘a bit of fun’.
Cheeky, high-spirited Australian DJ Michael Christian thought it a great wheeze to try to talk to the Duchess of Cambridge’s medical team on the telephone, even though he knew she had been taken into hospital suffering from acute morning sickness early in her pregnancy.
The first sign of unthinking cruelty comes right there. His female co-host Mel Greig thought this would be ‘awesome’. That, in turn, shows a very modern take on the word ‘awe’ – which correctly implies respect as well as wonder. Never mind the ethics or legality of the broadcast, there was no respect for anybody’s feelings in this sorry incident; no hint of decency or basic human compassion.

Now that an innocent woman is dead, her family bereaved and bewildered, and the whole world knows the story – the thoughtless joke doesn’t seem funny at all, least of all to the shamed perpetrators.
To me, it never was. From the moment I heard their silly, adolescent giggles and the poor nurses’ polite replies, I saw the prank as another example of the casual, tacky, thoughtless cruelty that has infected popular culture like a plague – on radio, on television and increasingly on Twitter and other social media outlets.

Had Jacintha Saldanha not succumbed to shame and misery (and we have no way of knowing what else was happening in her life) I would always despise the notion that it’s acceptable to call a hospital to invade the privacy of any patient, let alone an expectant young mother in distress. What on Earth have we come to?

Let’s be very clear. The King Edward VII Hospital should have had a protocol so securely in place it would have been impossible for this to happen.

The fact that Jacintha Saldanha was not a native English speaker would have made it less likely that she would pick up the hopeless accents used by Greig and Christian, but in any case there should always be a system of checks and balances, and all the more so when the patient is high-profile.

It is true, also, that the two DJs – who have now gone into hiding after being subjected to a barrage of vilification just as nasty as their original stunt – couldn’t possibly have predicted that their trick would lead to the death of a good woman who felt (no matter how irrationally) responsible for letting her hospital and colleagues down. Call them callow, stupid, irreverent, if you like, but they were not wicked.

Yet while this tragedy was not foreseeable, it was avoidable. For surely an incident like this has been waiting to happen.
The Victorians paid to gawp at people with deformities and disabilities; in our day TV turned the freak show into an even more popular form of entertainment, taking cruelty and mockery right into people’s sitting rooms, whether through hidden camera shows that made the likes of Jeremy Beadle and Dom Joly into household names or in the routine humiliations meted out to (often mentally fragile) contestants on Big Brother or I’m A Celebrity.
That very familiarity means that broadcasters have felt the need to be ever more sensational, to court controversy, to ‘up the ante’ all the time, regardless of the potential consequences.

Those two DJs were willing and able to indulge in the bullying of an unsuspecting victim because exploiting the naivety of innocent victims is now the accepted dialect of light entertainment right across the world.

Before you blame the crass taste of Aussie presenters, remember it was only weeks ago that ITV set up a stunt on I’m a Celebrity in which the actress Charlie Brooks was left weeping after she was denied the right to see her seven-year-old daughter for failing to win a jungle challenge, as the little girl hid behind a set door.

The truth is, we have become so inured to a culture of hard-edged cleverness that it wouldn’t have occurred to Mel Greig or Michael Christian to stop, to think for a moment – and feel shamed – any more than it occurred to ITV that it was wrong to exploit a seven-year-old’s distress to chase ratings.

At least Charlie Brooks must have signed a consent form at some stage. Not so Jacintha Saldanha. Why then did the radio station’s lawyers allow the tapes to be broadcast? For the very same reason that the BBC turned a blind eye to the crude phone call made by Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross to Andrew Sachs, sniggering about his granddaughter’s sex life. Because no single executive had the taste, judgment or maturity to realise that this was totally unacceptable behaviour. Nobody, from the immature broadcasters to the worldly men and women in charge, had the wisdom or decency to say: ‘Hang on, this isn’t funny, it’s wrong.’

Thus casual cruelty is dished up as prime-time entertainment with as much callous indifference as the Romans showed to the Christians and lions fighting to the death in their arenas.

What’s more, it’s getting worse, as new media challenges the old for an audience. Sometimes Twitter seems as brutal as a bearpit, as trolls seek out their prey to persecute. And unlike the mainstream media, the internet has given bullies the cloak of anonymity to hide behind.

No wonder Michael Christian and Mel Greig rushed in to pull a stunt which actually resulted in a vulnerable woman, hitherto proud of her professional standards, being the brunt of hilarity all around the world. In a crowded market, they wanted to stand out; to make a name for themselves. And oh, how they bragged about their little coup over the ensuing days, until horror intruded on their glee.

The public must take its share of blame too. For how many of those people who have tweeted their outrage, accusing the pair of having ‘blood on their hands’ (and worse) had a good laugh when they first heard the ludicrous faux-Brit accents?

It is simply not enough to shrug the shoulders and say: ‘Well, no one could have seen it ending in suicide.’

The Law of Unintended Consequences is known to sociologists and economists and used as a warning that (to quote one definition) ‘an intervention in a complex system tends to create unanticipated and often undesirable outcomes’. Yes, indeed.

In this dreadful story the ‘intervention’ was just another example of the shameless rush to sensationalism that has trivialised modern broadcasting in all its forms – that amoral belief that ‘anything goes’ which disguises the humiliation of others as light-hearted fun.

The ‘complex system’ is the human personality, which is always unpredictable, always vulnerable. And the terrible ‘undesirable outcome’ was the unnecessary death of an innocent woman, who would almost certainly be alive today if those who should have known better had shown restraint.

Topic Use My Last Word First - in a 5 word sentence..
Posted 10 Dec 2012 13:59

Speak to me only, love

Topic Royal Nurse Commits Suicide After Prank Radio Call
Posted 10 Dec 2012 12:34

Of course we would, but that's not what happened. Why on earth would anyone give equal sympathy to a mass-murderer and a suicidal person who, regardless of the specific reasons, felt the walls closing in on her and saw no path along which to move forward?

And for those that correctly point out the lack of proof that these DJs actually caused her suicide, I give due credit. It's the sidebar opinions about suicide in general that make me shake my head. Like many subjects, I gather that the majority of the disagreement here has to do with tone and attitude towards depression and suicide, not the plight of these DJs and this lady.

You are right in that there are two separate issues here: mental illness and the ethics of humiliating people for entertainment. However, the disagreement is about both. It is interesting that those who have little sympathy for people who have mental health issues and commit suicide have displayed a lot of sympathy for the djs who were responsible for this stupid prank. An interesting hierarchy of values, but not mine.

As I have said before, a joke happens when everybody laughs.

Incidentally, I understand that the djs have given an interview on Australian television talking about heartbroken they feel (but not apologizing). It seems that their program has been cancelled, they have been fired, and no more such pranks will be allowed on any station owned by their employer.

Topic Royal Nurse Commits Suicide After Prank Radio Call
Posted 09 Dec 2012 18:52

FYI: By releasing confidential patient information and forwarding the call, the Royal Nurse violated HIPPA. HIPPA requires hospitals and health care providers to maintain absolute confidentiality of their patients' protected health information; it is Health care 101.

Her mistake could have had severe penalties including fines, criminal sentencing, and disciplinary action by licensing boards and employers. This was a high profile situation and her young career as a nurse (4 years) could have very well been over.

In my humble opinion, that mistake mirrored with world-wide public humiliation could have easily taken her over the edge.

Thank you. That was precisely my point and is the same worldwide. Patient confidentiality is sacrosanct and reason to lose a professional licence if breached. However, there is no point trying explain this any more to those who think it was fun. They are the target audience for this.

Topic Skinny dipping with the lush member above
Posted 09 Dec 2012 18:10

I would.

Topic Royal Nurse Commits Suicide After Prank Radio Call
Posted 09 Dec 2012 12:59

With respect, please reread what DD, Elit, WMM and I wrote. Not knowing what is going on in someone's life is precisely why this was so bad. Their intentions were not to make the hospital staff look good. On the contrary, they wanted to humiliate, embarass, and ridicule, showing whoever answered their call to be a gullible fool. What is funny about that?

There are people who enjoy constant attention and imagine that everything that happens to them is of interest to others. Most people are not like that. Their problems and heartache are their own. They go to work every day and do their best, holding on by a thread to normalcy. The djs cut that thread for this woman.

Even if this had not happened, what the djs did would have jeopardized the jobs of the people they pranked. Never mind the breach of privacy they attempted. Of course they had no idea it would end like this, but they did not think about the consequences, even taking the suicide out of the equation. I just hope that their suspension is without pay.

Topic Royal Nurse Commits Suicide After Prank Radio Call
Posted 08 Dec 2012 16:48

This wasn't a bully/victim scenario, as prinicpessa seems to think. It was a joke that went sour.

A joke happens when everyone is laughing. Not this time, even before the suicide. It was clearly public embarassment for the entertainment of others.

And btw your driving analogy is not an analogy at all.

I would like to see the reactions of people who think this is okay if they were the object of some prank that went viral making them look stupid or ridiculous. I suspect that although some of you might like the attention, you would not like this kind of attention very much. Perhaps you can only imagine yourselves as the perpetrators laughing and saying it was all in fun and telling your victims to lighten up. Some empathy and emotional intelligence is required to be a decent human being.

Topic Royal Nurse Commits Suicide After Prank Radio Call
Posted 08 Dec 2012 14:45

I heard it. All the poor woman did was answer the phone and pass the call to the nurses' station where Kate was being cared for. If anyone really made a mistake, it was the nurse who then answered and revealed information about Kate to the djs.

Topic Royal Nurse Commits Suicide After Prank Radio Call
Posted 08 Dec 2012 14:21

I think that humiliating people publicly is not entertainment. I do not like pranks because someone is always hurt. This applies to the idiots who did this. This nurse may well have had other issues, but that does not vitiate their part in what happened to her if, as it seems, they brought it to a critical mass and caused her to do this. It is not the easy way out. It is indicative of deep problems and desperation. How is it moral to push someone over the edge? Of course, you don't know that a stranger is in that state, which is precisely the reason you should not do it.

The only people who may be fair game are public figures, as when Sarah Palin was contacted by djs in the 2008 election, exposing her ignorance and stupidity in believing that the President of France (if I remember correctly) was calling to talk to her. Ignorance, hypocrisy, and pomposity in public figures may be an appropriate target. Making an ordinary person look foolish or gullible is not. The fact that so many people would find this amusing (before the suicide) shows a dumbing down and lack of empathy in society in general.

What might have been an error in judgement which might have been understood by her employer was blown up into a public humiliation worldwide. That is why it matters that the djs did this. That is why it is unforgivable. Whether she was predisposed to do this is not the issue.

Pranks like filling someone's office from floor to ceiling with balloons while they are out to celebrate a milestone birthday are not hurtful. Anything that embarasses, hurts, or humiliates is not a prank. It is bullying. That should not have entertainment value.

Topic Second Amendment
Posted 07 Dec 2012 14:29

Top 10 reasons a gun is favored over a woman

10 You can trade an old .44 for a new .22.
9 You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
8 If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
7 your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
6 Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
5 A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
4 Guns function normally every day of the month.
3 A gun doesn't ask , 'Do these new grips make me look fat?'
2 A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after handling it.

1 And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman....

You should get together with menarealwaysignored. The two of you have a lot in common. It could be a "Brokeback Mountain" thing because clearly neither of you likes women very much. :-"

Topic Lingerie Help
Posted 05 Dec 2012 17:08

I agree that European brands like La Perla, Chantelle, and Aubade are lovely. As lingerie really needs to fit well, I also agree with the suggestion that you accompany her to the shop and have her try it on. You can let her know what you like and she can decide what fits comfortably. The lunch or brunch out is a great idea, too. But be prepared to see prices that are multiples of Victoria's Secret.

Topic Words Sticking Together In Stories
Posted 05 Dec 2012 14:08

You do have the capability to give your story a last read and edit before submitting it. If there are issues in transferring it from your word processing program to Lush, you can catch them there until this issue is resolved, if indeed it is a problem here.

It is probably not a bad idea to look at your story one last time in a different font in the editing function here as mistakes (other than this issue) may be more evident - mistakes that you might have missed reading in a familiar format. I found that apostrophes mysteriously disappeared on the last story I submitted. I guess technology does not always marry these things seamlessly. (btw I am using Word 2010.)

Topic Advice before submitting a story
Posted 03 Dec 2012 16:03

Like most things in life: if you want to succeed (or should that read "suck seed"?) you have to put in some effort. I've had a few stories rejected, but invariably because I haven't taken the time to read and re-readmy story several times. Having a sticky space bar doesn't helpeither (there it goes again)but I won't dwell onhow (fuck again!) it got like that.... The mods (especially you PP) are great also, helping make a silk purse out of my sows ear!

I have an idea about how that might have happened but I won't embarass both of us by posting it publicly.

Thank you for the thank you. All of the mods (especially me) appreciate it. Seeing your stories posted in good shape and the thank you makes all of the work, yours and ours, worthwhile. flower

Topic Advice before submitting a story
Posted 03 Dec 2012 14:31

It's nice when the mods DO work with the authors though, if they've put in the effort that is...

Sometimes a few kind words, some gentle encouragement and pointers to resources where they can find the help they need from the story verifiers can be the difference between a writer working to get his piece up to scratch or giving up completely. I know that there are a few mods who do this and some great writers have come out of it. It's good for Lush and a good way of encouraging people who might not really have the confidence to write, to actually give it a go.

They do say that we all have a book in us, don't they (eeew not IN us, you perverts)

Great thread PP!

Thanks, Mazza.

I think all of the mods will spend the time working with someone who clearly wants to make an effort and learn. There have been some interesting and gratifying transitions in the quality of the work. It does get frustrating when we receive things like the first draft that I mentioned above. If someone demonstrates that they do not want to spend any time on their writing, why should we rewrite it entirely for them? Sometimes they just need to understand the process and the standards that are applied.

I think the expression is sweat equity. If you put some in, we will spend lots of time helping you. It is satisfying for both the mod and the writer when this happens and we do get the occasional thank you.

Topic Advice before submitting a story
Posted 03 Dec 2012 14:01

On the proofreading note, a question: Does anyone have advice on how to effectively proofread for typos? When I reread something I've written my brain can pick out things like verb tense, overuse of a particular word, or phasing that sounds clumsy. But for whatever reason if I make a simple typo - say, "lake" instead of "make" - when I go back and reread it, my head puts the sound "make" in my head and I don't catch it no matter how many times I reread.

Does anyone else have this issue? If so, how do you deal with it?

My suggestion is that you walk away from it for a few hours, or as long as a day. When you keep rereading your story, you see what should be there because you know what you have written. Time and distance will give you the perspective to see your mistakes. It usually works for me. Unfortunately, I have picked up small errors after something is posted too, but as I said before, you can always go back and edit even then.

I hope that helps a little.

Topic Disagree or Agree?
Posted 03 Dec 2012 13:10

What I am about to say is contradictory. Sex is important when it is not working. When it is, you don't have think about it - it happens organically because of the chemistry between you. The rest of your relationship is important as well. You should be friends and companions, share enough interests and values to be compatible and have enough differences to make your relationship interesting. You should remain curious about each other. You should want the best for each other. You should be kind to each other.

As to long distance relationships, they can work if you can manage time together regularly, even if that is measured in weeks rather than days. The key is to remain in contact in the interim - talk, email, text, Skype, whatever is your preference. For me the sound of a lover's voice always provides intimacy. It is not easy to sustain this, and I understand that a lot of people fail, but it can be done if both of you are committed to it.