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He sounds uncannily like Kevin Spacey. Bit depressing for my liking. I need cheering up gad dammit!
I want one :) Not for the practical uses, but I need a new table, and one that has water effects when you put something on it would be cool.
I guess you shouldn't laugh...no really.... .75 to 1 inch flaccid http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2291364
A woman goes into Wal-Mart and tells the clerk she wantsa refund for the toaster she bought because it doesn't work.The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special. All of a sudden, the woman throws her armsup in the air and starts screaming! "GRAB MY BOOBS! GRAB MY BOOBS!"The clerk, not knowing what to do, runs to get the store manager. The manager comes up to the Woman and asks, "What'swrong?"She explains the situation with the toaster. He tellsher that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming,"GRAB MY BOOBS! GRAB MY BOOBS!"In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am,why are you saying that?"In a huff, the woman says, "BECAUSE, I LIKE TOHAVE MY BREASTS GRABBED WHEN I'M GETTING SCREWED!Her money was refunded.
There was a drunk showing some friends his new apartment.He was showing them his bedroom and there was a brass gong nextto his bed. One friend asks what the gong was for. The drunksays it a talking clock.The friends were curious as to howit worked.So the drunk picks up a mallet and hits the gongwith ear shattering sound.Suddenly from the other side of the wall someone screamed "IT'S 3 OCLOCK IN THE MORNINGYOU ASSHOLE"
Yes, there's something in it for sure. Kind of creeps me out a bit though...
That's just plain sad! Mind you, have read much worse.
If you're going to crash the stage at a Stones concert, make sure Keith doesn't see you coming: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAhEQETH4mw
http://www.shiveredsky.blogspot.com/2006/12/top-10-most-ridiculous-products-for.htmlHere's a taster - damn freaky if you ask me http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/6145/freakypz3.jpg
Setting everything out just the way I wanted took quite some time. I started in the bedroom by first placing a kitchen chair next to the bed. I set out the handfuls of candles I had gathered in various positions around the room, creating soft gentle reflections. I stripped the bed of it’s used linen and replaced it with the new ‘so-soft’ sheets. To add more allure I sprayed ...
Added 23 Apr 2007 | Category Straight Sex
| Votes 22 | Avg Score 4.85
| Views 11,342
| 5 Comments
A while back, a friend and I were chatting and he asked if Leah and I had ever been in a threesome with another man. I told him that we once had considered it with a good friend of ours named Tye, who Leah found very attractive and someone I trusted would not only be a good lover for her but also his participation would not threaten our relationship or harm the friendship. Although we had...
Added 14 Dec 2006 | Category Group Sex
| Votes 14 | Avg Score 4.86
| Views 22,349
| 3 Comments
It was one of those lonely days that spilled over into the darkness where again nothing awaited me but empty silence, or the droning hum of the television. It had been a long time since we’d done anything really spectacular together. He was always working; I had my own career, but nothing that even mildly interfered with my loving him. I still had a good body, I was clean, and...
Added 12 Dec 2006 | Category BDSM
| Votes 16 | Avg Score 4.88
| Views 33,312
| 6 Comments
I used to go out with this girl, she was beautiful, she was full figured, not fat, made life fun and it was the best sex of my life. Our sex life got even better after she made me take it from her. For some people sex is a little dull, not for me, I love missionary usually called vanilla sex I love the intimacy involved. Kissing touching grabbing ass and pounding her pussy. But I have...
Added 09 Dec 2006 | Category Reluctance
| Votes 38 | Avg Score 3.86
| Views 102,324
| 14 Comments
"Crawl over here!" he was told. Madam had a wicked swing, so he knew better than to argue. He did his best to position himself the way she had pointed for him to do. She stood before him in all her glory with the cruelest instrument of torture. He hated and loved it when Madam chose to give him her attentions. "Now, worship my feet as you have been taught!" he crouched farther down and...
Added 09 Dec 2006 | Category BDSM
| Votes 14 | Avg Score 4.57
| Views 16,782
| 3 Comments
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