About RumpleForeskin

Biography

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Name:
Rumple Foreskin
Sex:
Male 
Age:
70
Sign:
Pisces
Relationship Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Location:
Lost in the desert west of Tombstone, AZ , Arizona, United States
Local Time:
19 Aug 2017 04:33
Interests:
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Website:

Statistics

Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
18 Aug 2017 (12 hours ago)
Page Viewed:
28,123 times
Friends:
71
Followers:
76
Days in Chat:
0
Days on Site:
30+
Forum Posts:
4,063
Stories:
33
Badges:
16

Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: Heap abuse on Sprite
Posted: 17 Aug 2017 21:19

Heap abuse on Sprite? Perish the thought.

Bless her heart, she's both gentle and genteel. Such a nice, sweet, refined lady. ;)


<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 17 Aug 2017 07:59

Greetings, gambolers in the game of life.

Today is, indeed, a great day here at Rumplations. For on this day, way back in 1893, that great pioneer in over-the-top risqué comments, Mae West, stepped upon the world stage.

For any uninitiated types passing through life and this gin joint, here are a few of her more profound observations.


"Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.”

“Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!”

“There are no good girls gone wrong - just bad girls found out.”

“Sex is an emotion in motion.”

“I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.”


Feel free to share any favorites you hold near and dear.

Coffee's on, ice-maker's working, the beer is cold, wine and fine lickers are available, and Mike is paying. So what'll y'all have?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 15 Aug 2017 06:39

Greetings, gals and guys. To echo the words of the psalmist, "Morning has broken,..." and it may be one of those, FUBAR, situations. (sigh)

And I have a relatively rosy outlook in comparison to Verbal. His beloved NY Mets lost to their hated, cross-town rival, the NY Yankees, 4-2. Condolences are hereby extended.

The Green Guy (Larry Nye) and yours truly (Rumple deWriter) have back-to-back micro-fiction pieces (100 words or less)over on the 'Sacre Bleu' site (Stories Space.com). Mine is titled, 'Forever' and it's not too bad. Larry's is a prose/poem titled, 'Let The Wind Caress Your Cheek' and is a lot better...trust me on that one. Check 'em out if you get a chance.

I'm past due for a second mug of Big Bertha's stimulating sauce. What about the rest of you? Coffee, tea (for Hannah and our other tea-sippers), beer, wine, and several fine lickers are available at a most reasonable price.

BTW, y'all think I might have exceeded my yearly allotment of parenthesis with this post?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: Post a random fact
Posted: 14 Aug 2017 15:45

Ms B, does that apply south of the equator?


According to the, NY Times: “A comparative sociological study of East and West Germans conducted after reunification in 1990 found that Eastern women had twice as many orgasms as Western women. Researchers marveled at this disparity in reported sexual satisfaction.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 14 Aug 2017 15:06

Scott, glad you'll be around until Saturday...honest. Whiskey-wise, looks like ya got a choice between an almost empty bottle of Black Jack( JD) Buz left over the weekend and a fresh bottle of, Bear Huggers Bourbon. What'll ya have?

Verbal wrote: Bill, could you find a cow, genetically alter it so that it gives coffee with a splash of half-and-half instead of milk, and then squeeze me out a cup? That would be udderly perfect.
Having been in both 4-H and the Future Farmers of America, I can say with an uncertain degree of honesty...maybe. However, in light of that 'udderly' disgusting play on words, your request will need to be referred to the non-functioning committee on extended reviews for a, you know, extended review and feasibility study

Anybody else have a drink request that might actually have a snowball's chance in hell of getting filled?

Ah, Sara has put in a most fillable request. A double-shot of Tarantula Tequila is on its way.
<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">
.

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 14 Aug 2017 11:40

How's it hanging, Scott? Here's your coffee and BBB. Think I'll join you it ya don't mind.

When are you leaving on vacation? Need to know that so we can schedule the 'Run Amuk Orgy' for a time when you're gone. ;)

Speaking of running amuk, Verbal's latest 'Shards' has just shown up. Tanya and I have already, R'ed, and V'ed, and left fawning though truthful, C's. Be sure to check it out.

Anybody else need a drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 14 Aug 2017 06:27

Morning, Jen. Here's your Monday morning mug of coffee. BTW, did you know that...

...today is the birthday of baseball immortal and poet, Ernest Thayer, born in Lawrence, Massachusetts (1863).

* Now before you or anyone else starts heaping abuse on my pointy little head for slipping something about a dead poet into this otherwise most disrespectable den of depravity, please read the last stanza of his most famous poem. *

"Oh, somewhere in this favoured land the sun is shining bright,
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light;
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout,
But there is no joy in Mudville — mighty Casey has struck out."

Jen...Jen...are ya still there? (sigh) Another good customer left in stunned incoherent silence , or has just 'left'. So what about the rest of you? It's Monday, ya know? What do ya need to get this miserable excuse for a day cranking?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">


Topic: New Contest! No Prizes, but lots of fun!
Posted: 13 Aug 2017 20:56

Where, I say, where in the name of both Strunk & White are the official Lush contest entry forms?

Pending release and distribution of official entry forms...
I have an official entry albeit without and official form.

TESTED AND FOUND WANTON

Your favorite Right Rev barkeep participant, though sans entry form,

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 13 Aug 2017 11:38

Ya know, I was going to make Irish Coffee for everyone, but then Verbal ask for a gallon of coffee and I'm not sure the Bushmills and BBB will stretch that far.

So tell ya what, I'll make Tanya, Scott and Mike mugs of Irish Coffee. Then Jeff's serving will probably clean out what's left of the inventory.

And just so everyone knows: the good news is Jeff's Mets are leading 2-1 in the second inning. The bad news is they're playing the Phillies who have the worse record in all of major league baseball.

Anyone else want to try some of this Irish Coffee? If so, speak now or Jeff will suck down what's left.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 13 Aug 2017 02:23

Greetings. It's the middle of the night out here in the desert but what with a long-lasting thunderstorm an an anxious dog (sort of a German Shepard mix, if you must know) who does not, I say again, not, like sudden loud booms, your beloved barkeep (that's me) is awake and ready for business.

Y'all show your manners to Denim Daisy and make her feel welcome. Maybe offer her a refill on that margarita she's working on.

I'm here to announce that on the main page are back-to-back 'Fantasy & Sci-Fi' stories and both are Recommended 'Reads'.

Leading off the combo is chapter 11 of Sprite's, 'Butterfly' series. It includes a particularly hot and wet scene featuring, tentacle sex!
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/fantasy-scifi/butterfly-beach-xi-summer-or-the.aspx
Next on the list is 'Science Slut' by, Wanna deWordsmith.(note: there's a chance Wanna and I are distant relatives since over on the 'Sacre Bleu' site my handle is, Rumple deWriter...but don't hold that against him)

As noted before, both are 'Recommended Reads' and in the 'Fantasy/Sci-Fi' category. check 'em out.

A couple clicks further down the page is the conclusion (I think) to Ping's, 'Mummy's Nasty Girl' four-part series. All of them are hot, fun, well-crafted, flash fiction strokers.

I just woke Big Bertha and since getting up early always pisses her off, I went ahead and cleaned her up a bit, then added fresh water and some dark roast coffee. She's huffing and chuffing now so a fresh batch of her verisimilitude coffee should be available, toot sweet, he says in remarkably egregious French.

Of course, there's our usual selection of beer, wine and fine lickers for those in need of something stimulating. So what'll ya have?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

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Stories Published By RumpleForeskin All Stories »

A Really Good Mood

With a spray of gravel, the ’66 Chevelle Super Sport sped away from the American Legion parking lot, raced down a narrow, blacktop access road, then slowed imperceptibly before making a tire-squealing right onto the main highway. The car quickly accelerated until it was speeding through the muggy, North Louisiana night. The cherry-red Chevy was always speeding — the only question being by...

Added 12 Jun 2017 | Category Seduction | Votes 20 | Avg Score 5 | Views 4,965 | 17 Comments

Adieu, Alan

His candle burned at both ends, It could not last the night.   But readers and friends all agree, It gave such a marvelous...

Added 26 Mar 2017 | Category Love Poems | Votes 33 | Avg Score 4.81 | Views 485 | 30 Comments

Served Just Right

  They were young, restless, and bored beyond depression. The two nursing students had been in Gwen’s cramped, single-person, dorm room since coming back from supper, smoking and joking, talking about school, men, and life while playing Beatles LP’s, keeping the incense burner going, and steadily draining the bottle of bourbon Mark had left, "for safe keeping," before flying home for a...

Added 09 Feb 2017 | Category Lesbian | Votes 13 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 6,973 | 8 Comments

A Parting Gift To Remember

From her position draped over the back of an old, stuffed armchair, Lynn felt the fresh load of cum oozing out of her throbbing pussy, working its way through matted pubic hairs, then sliding down trembling inner thighs until it dripped onto the floor.  The thick cream felt cool on her hot, flushed, skin.  With Bob’s help, she struggled to her feet, turned around and hugged him. It had been...

Added 23 Dec 2016 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 22 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,659 | 17 Comments

What Are Friends For?

She blew in like a pissed off F5 tornado, shouted, "Don't say a fucking thing,” slammed the door shut,and slung her purse across the room. It ricocheted away from my butt-weary couch, cleared off the end table, then teetered briefly at the edge before following the displaced debris onto the floor. Only the reading lamp survived, leaning drunkenly against the wall, shade tilted at a...

Added 20 Aug 2016 | Category Love Stories | Votes 16 | Avg Score 5 | Views 4,019 | 13 Comments

Afternoon Aftermath

For Cindy Davis, it had been a weekend of unbelievable firsts. She had just spent two nights in a mid-town hotel room making almost constant love with Ray, a man she barely knew. Of course, it had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, no doubt about that. He’d been alone, a long way from home and had needed her. Still, it marked the first time she’d ever cheated on her fiance', which...

Added 21 Apr 2016 | Category Reluctance | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.89 | Views 10,376 | 10 Comments

Treats First then the Trick

It was a fantastic fuck. Randi Druitt's sex-charged body writhed and shuddered. A large, powerfully built man lay between her widespread legs. With deep, fluid strokes, he pumped his demanding cock in and out of her very willing pussy. Each thrust left her gasping with passion and wanting more. The freckle-faced redhead lay nude on the backseat of an old Buick, parked on the far side of a...

Added 21 Oct 2015 | Category Cheating | Votes 12 | Avg Score 5 | Views 7,088 | 7 Comments

Recommended Read Getting A Lot Of What She Wants

The thick, glistening shaft slipped from Cindy’s mouth like a long, sexy serpent. When the swollen cockhead came into view, she lapped at its smooth surface while glancing up at her husband. Ray’s big, nude body was sprawled comfortably on their living room couch. Curly blonde hair cushioned his head against the wall. Those blue eyes she adored so much were shut. His lips were parted. It...

Added 28 Sep 2015 | Category Fetish | Votes 15 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,509 | 17 Comments

Of Love and War and Donna Lynn

It was another turbulent day in the summer of 68. Student protests raged from the Sorbonne to Berkeley. In the US, civil rights demonstrations and anti-war rallies were turning violent. Martin Luther King was dead; Bobby Kennedy would be soon. In South Vietnam, hundreds of other Americans were being killed each month. Soldiers patrolled the streets of Saigon, Paris, and Washington while...

Added 31 Aug 2015 | Category Historical | Votes 19 | Avg Score 4.84 | Views 2,123 | 17 Comments

A Different Sort of Cramming

Textbooks and study notes showered down from the bouncing mattress of a venerable four-poster bed as a long, thick, column of rigid flesh kept up a steady rhythm of lust and need, surging back and forth past stretched, slightly irritated pussy lips that clutch tightly around the unyielding shaft relentlessly cramming its engorged cock head into the inner most depths of a wet, stuffed...

Added 27 Aug 2015 | Category Quickie Sex | Votes 8 | Avg Score 5 | Views 8,459 | 5 Comments

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Friends Comments


Wilful
Posted: 12 Aug 2017 19:54
Thanks for the add, Mate. I hope you're having an awesome weekend. All the best.

TonyaL
Posted: 11 Aug 2017 06:18
I am honored to be your friend.

ChuckEPoo
Posted: 27 Jul 2017 17:53

elizabethblack
Posted: 22 Jul 2017 16:15
So wonderful to have you writing and visiting SS!1 Adds to the class of the place. (giggle)


Simmerdownchick
Posted: 08 Jul 2017 16:42

Simplicity
Posted: 13 Jun 2017 05:56

browncoffee
Posted: 12 Jun 2017 01:18

Simplicity
Posted: 09 Jun 2017 10:10

Simplicity
Posted: 04 Jun 2017 13:05
Thank you for the add..

Buz
Posted: 19 May 2017 21:13

browncoffee
Posted: 27 Apr 2017 06:23

elizabethblack
Posted: 15 Apr 2017 21:08
Love Bessie Smith - thanks for the reminder

Simmerdownchick
Posted: 13 Apr 2017 22:49



Simmerdownchick
Posted: 27 Mar 2017 17:36
Lilly
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 16:42

biggym
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 03:10
Happy Happy Birthday!!! Know it will be a naughty fun day. Stay naked and hard. Enjoy and smile.
Lush
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.
Lydia_
Posted: 16 Mar 2017 17:26

Milik_the_Red
Posted: 05 Mar 2017 17:11

Simmerdownchick
Posted: 03 Mar 2017 22:58





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