About RumpleForeskin

Biography

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Name:
Rumple Foreskin
Sex:
Male 
Age:
69
Sign:
Pisces
Relationship Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Location:
Lost in the desert west of Apache Junction, USA , Arizona, United States
Local Time:
21 Feb 2017 11:10
Interests:
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Website:

Statistics

Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
21 Feb 2017 (6 minutes ago)
Page Viewed:
26,613 times
Friends:
61
Followers:
67
Days in Chat:
0
Days on Site:
30+
Forum Posts:
3,535
Stories:
31
Badges:
14

Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 Feb 2017 10:25

All right, no shoving. You'll all get served, sooner or later.

Thanks for that link, Hannah. And as a token of appreciation, here's a 'Hannah' to wash down the taste of all that tea. ;)

Seeker, be nice to BC and BC may (or may not) be nice to you...and let you use the spoon for your own tea.

MP, both you and Nora Jones are prime examples of, goodness. (slides over two GoldSchlagers)

Verbal, just to make today even spookier, it's Kurt Cobain's 50th birthday. I'm not into horoscopes, still... .

On that festive note, who's ready for a drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 Feb 2017 07:44

Greetings, BC. Just so happens there was a half-empty can of Earl Grey tea bags under the bar. No idea what it was doing there...probably hiding. Will that do ya right?

And speaking of, "Infinite Jest" today is the birthday of, David Foster Wallace. Came across that factoid and a short bio of him on today's 'The Writers Almanac with Garrison Keillor. I'll post a link to the write-up. If it doesn't work, very likely, just google the site and check it out. It's free and worth a daily peek, imo.

http://writersalmanac.org/

Here's ya hot water, tea bag, spoon, etc., etc...

Any more tea-sippers? The sacred urn was cleaned, sorta, only last week so today's brew should be memorable. The rest is up to you. Play your cards right and BC might even let you have her spoon when she's finished.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 Feb 2017 04:39

Greetings dwellers in the light of Lush literature.

Mustang, it's breaking my heart and tearing it apart to tell you this, but around here, it ain't what you order that gets you drunk, but what you get. Sad to say, but you can either bring your own or wait until Tanya can work on her cousin Buford, the day shift maintenance engineer over at the liquor store, to add your brand of high-tone Scotch to the store's regular order when the day manager isn't looking. And while Tanya loves her calling as a procurer of fine liquors, so to speak,, getting around to your request may take a few days since, Little Duchess, put in her bid first. Oh yeah, there is a third alternative. Care to try some 'Safeway Scotch'? Unlike our bar Scotch, you never can tell what it will taste like...bit of an adventure.

Just got a message from Ping that he has a new story, "Out of Habit" that is probably still on the front page.

Now on to new business, or any business for that matter...for instance, who wants a drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 20 Feb 2017 20:18

Your Highness and Mustang, welcome, both of you, to this abode of anarchical abandonment. I'd give you a list of some of the things that have been abandone in here, but it would be a long, long list. However, at the top would be clothes and inhabitions. (slides over a scotch) Here ya go. Enjoy while Laura's paying.

Little Duchess, ma'am, sorry to say, but we ain't got none of whatever it was you ordered. However, next time you stop in Tanya may have coaxed some of the stuff out of her cousin, Rubin, the ass'tnight manager over at the liquor store. So be sure to come back. Okay?
Speaking of Laura, seems she and Mike have stepped into the back room for some serious international relationship type intercoursing. Not sure exactly what's going on in there, but I do believe Mike just shouted, "Zealandia forever!" so things seem to be getting on jes' fine.

Milik, glad you stopped by. If you and Buz ever show up at the same time with you cigars going, we won't have to worry about mosquitos for weeks. BTW, next time try to convince your lady fair to join you. This is, after all, a class joint where most of the patrons have had their shots and a goodly number claim to be housebroken.

Gil, read your story, thought it was great, voted and commented accordingly. IMO, it could be a contender.

Verbal, hate to hear your sad tidings. Sounds like it's time to either start some serious drinking, or writing, or both.

And speaking of drinking, what'll y'all have?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 20 Feb 2017 05:35

Greetings, to all Zealandiaers and Zealandia wanna-be's.

Laura, 'Zea Lady from Zealandia' wants everything on the 'drinks menu'. Just one question: What in the name of 'Jackson Daniels' is a 'drinks menu'?

As to Mike on a stripper pole, just imagining that spectacle makes being blind seem like a sound alternative.

As for Laura smooching with Buz, or vice versa, my only advice would be to wait, possibly for some time, until he's finished his cigar.

And to show our support for President DJ Trump and his concerns over non-existent traumatic events in Sweden...day old Swedish meatballs liberated from Ikea are now available.

All right, who's ready for coffee and/or an eye-opener?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 19 Feb 2017 22:08

(slides two double Black Jacks on the rocks, a Hannah and a mug of 'Bottom of the Barrel' beer to those in waiting)

Okay, what follows now is a repost 'cause the original got overlooked being as how it ended up as the last post on the previous page...or something like that.

xxx

Happy ZEALANDIA Day!

It is a truth, never before acknowledge, that Rumplations has acquired a customer from a hitherto unknown land. She isn't a new customer, quite the contrary, but her place of origin has expanded.

The subject of this fulsome foolishness is, of course, Laura, aka Zea Lady from Zealandia.

For the geographically challenged among us, Zealandia is our planet's newest continent. No one noticed it before on account as how most of it is under water. The only parts above the surface are: New Zealand and New Caladonia.

The thing is, like, you know, it's still over a week until Mardi Gras Day, but it's not every year we can combine that with the discovery of a new continent. So whadda ya say we let the good time begin to roll!

Now, what'll y'all have to drink?

glasses8


Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 19 Feb 2017 10:52

Happy ZEALANDIA Day!

It is a truth, never before acknowledge, that Rumplations has acquired a customer from a hitherto unknown land. She isn't a new customer, quite the contrary, but her place of origin has expanded.

The subject of this fulsome foolishness is, of course, Laura, aka Zea Lady from Zealandia.

For the geographically challenged among us, Zealandia is our planet's newest continent. No one noticed it before on account as how most of it is under water. The only parts above the surface are: New Zealand and New Caladonia.

The thing is, like, you know, it's still over a week until Mardi Gras Day, but it's not every year we can combine that with the discovery of a new continent. So whadda ya say we let the good time begin to roll!

Now, what'll y'all have to drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: Competition Entries should be SOLO efforts
Posted: 19 Feb 2017 09:37

It may just be me, probably is, but getting to the audio versions of stories seems a bit complicated. If possible, turning the 'audio version available' notice into a link to the audio main page might help guide newbies and those with little sense of direction to the listing. Just a thought.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: Your favourite story title?
Posted: 19 Feb 2017 09:25

While we're 'dog-piling' on StormDog, so to speak, I'll add his, "Big Dick's Trucking Service, Inc." to the list.

As for lil' moi, any of the titles on my sig line would do with the second one being just a bit 'more equal' than the others.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">.

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 18 Feb 2017 10:22

(slides a frosty flagon, or something sort of resembling one, of 'Bottom of the Barrel' beer over to Emerson) Big E, what you now have before you is...let's just say, very interesting. Enjoy.

And speaking of, enjoying, that just what I did while reading your entry. BTW, don't feel shy about posting links here to any of your stories, especially new ones. By now, it should be obvious this joint ain't got no standards, so link your brains out.

Any more calls for alcohol?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

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Stories Published By RumpleForeskin All Stories »

Served Just Right

  They were young, restless, and bored beyond depression. The two nursing students had been in Gwen’s cramped, single-person, dorm room since coming back from supper, smoking and joking, talking about school, men, and life while playing Beatles LP’s, keeping the incense burner going, and steadily draining the bottle of bourbon Mark had left, "for safe keeping," before flying home for a...

Added 09 Feb 2017 | Category Lesbian | Votes 13 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 4,066 | 9 Comments

A Parting Gift To Remember

From her position draped over the back of an old, stuffed armchair, Lynn felt the fresh load of cum oozing out of her throbbing pussy, working its way through matted pubic hairs, then sliding down trembling inner thighs until it dripped onto the floor.  The thick cream felt cool on her hot, flushed, skin.  With Bob’s help, she struggled to her feet, turned around and hugged him. It had been...

Added 23 Dec 2016 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 22 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,160 | 18 Comments

What Are Friends For?

She blew in like a pissed off F5 tornado, shouted, "Don't say a fucking thing,” slammed the door shut,and slung her purse across the room. It ricocheted away from my butt-weary couch, cleared off the end table, then teetered briefly at the edge before following the displaced debris onto the floor. Only the reading lamp survived, leaning drunkenly against the wall, shade tilted at a...

Added 20 Aug 2016 | Category Love Stories | Votes 15 | Avg Score 5 | Views 3,564 | 13 Comments

Afternoon Aftermath

For Cindy Davis, it had been a weekend of unbelievable firsts. She had just spent two nights in a mid-town hotel room making almost constant love with Ray, a man she barely knew. Of course, it had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, no doubt about that. He’d been alone, a long way from home and had needed her. Still, it marked the first time she’d ever cheated on her fiance', which...

Added 21 Apr 2016 | Category Reluctance | Votes 17 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 9,526 | 10 Comments

Treats First then the Trick

It was a fantastic fuck. Randi Druitt's sex-charged body writhed and shuddered. A large, powerfully built man lay between her widespread legs. With deep, fluid strokes, he pumped his demanding cock in and out of her very willing pussy. Each thrust left her gasping with passion and wanting more. The freckle-faced redhead lay nude on the backseat of an old Buick, parked on the far side of a...

Added 21 Oct 2015 | Category Cheating | Votes 11 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,795 | 7 Comments

Recommended Read Getting A Lot Of What She Wants

The thick, glistening shaft slipped from Cindy’s mouth like a long, sexy serpent. When the swollen cockhead came into view, she lapped at its smooth surface while glancing up at her husband. Ray’s big, nude body was sprawled comfortably on their living room couch. Curly blonde hair cushioned his head against the wall. Those blue eyes she adored so much were shut. His lips were parted. It...

Added 28 Sep 2015 | Category Fetish | Votes 14 | Avg Score 5 | Views 5,974 | 15 Comments

Of Love and War and Donna Lynn

It was another turbulent day in the summer of 68. Student protests raged from the Sorbonne to Berkeley. In the US, civil rights demonstrations and anti-war rallies were turning violent. Martin Luther King was dead; Bobby Kennedy would be soon. In South Vietnam, hundreds of other Americans were being killed each month. Soldiers patrolled the streets of Saigon, Paris, and Washington while...

Added 31 Aug 2015 | Category Historical | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.83 | Views 1,738 | 17 Comments

A Different Sort of Cramming

Textbooks and study notes showered down from the bouncing mattress of a venerable four-poster bed as a long, thick, column of rigid flesh kept up a steady rhythm of lust and need, surging back and forth past stretched, slightly irritated pussy lips that clutch tightly around the unyielding shaft relentlessly cramming its engorged cock head into the inner most depths of a wet, stuffed...

Added 27 Aug 2015 | Category Quickie Sex | Votes 7 | Avg Score 5 | Views 8,160 | 5 Comments

Feels So Right It Can’t Be Wrong: chapter 3

Kelly woke in her stepbrother’s bed cuddled next to his nude body. The sheet barely covered his morning erection. She thought about teasing him awake, it struck her as the big-sisterly thing to do, but then rolled onto her back, stretched, and immediately dozed off and slipped into yet another rerun of her dreams. Like most of those she’d had recently, they involved sex. Unlike the...

Added 30 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 16 | Avg Score 5 | Views 22,092 | 9 Comments

Feels So Right, It Can’t Be Wrong: Chapter 2

After a lot of poking, prodding, and teasing, the stepsiblings managed to disentangle and get off Jason’s bed. Before he could pull Kelly out of the room, however, she noticed the sheets. “Whoa. Halt. Stop. Sorry, but those sheets have got to go.” Jason protested but she remained adamant as only a somewhat fastidious big sister can be and began stripping the bed. Perhaps it was seeing her...

Added 27 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 12 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 21,615 | 6 Comments

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Friends Comments

browncoffee
Posted: 01 Feb 2017 13:53

HeraTeleia
Posted: 09 Jan 2017 20:52
Thank you for the add, love!


Milik_the_Red
Posted: 31 Dec 2016 13:30

Buz
Posted: 23 Dec 2016 14:50
Merry Christmas, Rumpy!


ChuckEPoo
Posted: 05 Oct 2016 10:59
Thanks for adding me.
elizabethblack
Posted: 05 Oct 2016 09:50
Just saw this and knew you had to have it:

elizabethblack
Posted: 26 Aug 2016 17:33
elizabethblack
Posted: 02 Jul 2016 20:08

WellMadeMale
Posted: 31 May 2016 14:47
Your honky tonk can use an upgrade, chief...


Gillianleeeza
Posted: 13 May 2016 15:03
I never thought of making them into necklaces. I'll have to give it a try.
elizabethblack
Posted: 16 Apr 2016 20:44

Gillianleeeza
Posted: 09 Apr 2016 17:41
Waiting for my drink and more umbrellas.

Milik_the_Red
Posted: 26 Mar 2016 22:43
elizabethblack
Posted: 26 Mar 2016 20:29
Happy Easter and Congratulations, but keep those tears dried away

Gillianleeeza
Posted: 25 Mar 2016 21:29
I'm pretty sure she'd win the contest. I'll just keep drinking.

Gillianleeeza
Posted: 21 Mar 2016 17:02
Can't decide if I should go out back to the dumpster. I think I'll drink inside for awhile.
Lush
Posted: 17 Mar 2016 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.

biggym
Posted: 16 Mar 2016 17:13
Happy Happy Birthday!!! Know it will be a naughty day. Stay naked and hard. Enjoy.

Buz
Posted: 02 Mar 2016 20:16
elizabethblack
Posted: 14 Feb 2016 19:37
Have a great Valentine weekend
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