About RumpleForeskin

Biography

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Name:
Rumple Foreskin
Sex:
Male 
Age:
69
Sign:
Pisces
Relationship Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Location:
Lost in the desert west of Apache Junction, USA , Arizona, United States
Local Time:
26 Feb 2017 05:08
Interests:
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Website:

Statistics

Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
25 Feb 2017 (10 hours ago)
Page Viewed:
26,649 times
Friends:
61
Followers:
67
Days in Chat:
0
Days on Site:
30+
Forum Posts:
3,544
Stories:
31
Badges:
14

Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 25 Feb 2017 12:25

Sharon, a 'Blue Hawaiian' might assuage VG's needs. So might a Pina Colada. So what'll it be, Ms Go? Okay, in truth we aint' got none of that blue stuff that makes dem Hawaiians blue, so you might as well go with a Pina Colada. Meanwhile, I'll be checking out your entry.

Oh, where are my manners? VG, meet, Sharon. Your Ladyship, meet VirgoGo.

Any more calls for alcohol?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 25 Feb 2017 06:44

Welcome to the last weekend before Mardi Gras Day. Lewd public exposure, drunken debauchery, and extensive social intercourse are in order.

Just a warning to the tea-sippers and instant coffee drinkers among us: the sacred coffee urn is filled with an extra-strong South Louisiana brew. How strong, you ask? Well, when double-expresso's learn some is about to show up, they pour themselves into the nearest crapper and pull the handle just to avoid the humiliation of being called, 'woosie yankee coffee'. At least that's what I've been told.

There's a big 'King Cake' available to go along with whatever y'all want to drink. BTW, Tanya says she has a special treat in store for the customer who gets the cute, nekkid baby.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 24 Feb 2017 04:58

Greetings, fellow travelers through the lands of Lush. As my third grade teacher would mumble each morning when she noticed I'd actually shown up for class, "Another day; another dullard."

Milik, I'd be glad to come across with some 'Mexican Coffee'. Only problem is I'm not sure what you call a 'Mexican Coffee'. So what I'm agona do is give you a mug of semi-fresh coffee laced with a healthy shot of tequila and Kahlua. If that don't float your boat, drink it anyway and get back to me whenever the effects wear off.

Speaking of coffee, what y'all are getting today comes from near the bottom of the urn. That's where all the nutriants and vitamins and such collect, which makes it almost healthy to drink.

Okay, now who wants something in their coffee or something instead of coffee?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 23 Feb 2017 18:07

MP, Etta James was the only singer who could handle an Otis Redding classic without embarrassing themselves. Thanks for the links.

Mike, just so happens there's a big, semi-clean mug ready to be filled with cold, 'Bottom of the Barrel beer. Enjoy.

Verbal, the Mike-unit just left a comment on my Lesbian story. Thanks to getting a notice, I went thence and said my, thank you's. That's when I discovered you'd also left a comment there about ten days ago which I had no idea existed. That I get notices about some comments but not others is just one of the many things in this life that puzzels me. Anyway, my bitching aside, thanks for your thoughtful feedback.

Okay, who wants a drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: Honorary Awesome Award: Buz Bono
Posted: 23 Feb 2017 15:58

In the immortal words of the late Bum Phillips, If 'Buz ain't in a class by himself, it sure don't take long to call the roll.' In other words, for a hardcore Georgia Bulldogs, Buz ain't really that bad, probably. ;)

Congrats, Buz. I'm filled with awe at your awsomness..

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 23 Feb 2017 10:40

Tell us the truth, MP, when are you and the rest of the 'Spice Girls' gonna get back together?

Serious coffee coming up for serious coffee drinkers. BTW, if you have to ask about why your mug comes with a complete 'set-up' (spoon, knife, fork)) you haven't been paying attention.

MP, care for something to wet your whistle? Emerson and Seeker, ya want some 'Beaver Breath Brandy' for a chaser? Anybody else need a drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 23 Feb 2017 04:53

Morning, Milik. The sacred and ancient coffee urn has hotted up a brew you won't soon forget...assuming your brain celss remain intact after the caffine hyper-rush. There's also 'Beaver Breath Brandy' in case you feel like a little 'enhancement is in order.

The graveyard shift is a drag, but IMO it's a better deal than the evening shift, especially if you have kids.

Speaking of lousy shift work, has anyone heard from 'ankle-twister' Jen?

As a special treat, we got a special 'one-for -the-price-of-two' special on leftover breakfast tacos from, 'Juan Jalapeno Joint. '-- warning: anyone from the mid-west and/or raised on a diet of pot roast and mashed potatos should approach with caution.

There's plenty more coffee and brandy to go around plus the usual assortment of morning drinking treats...so who's next?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 22 Feb 2017 17:42

So we've gone from bourbon on the rocks to: Cokes, 'Hannah's', and NyQuil. Guess old Hank Jr. was right about dem hangover's hurting more than they used to. Here y'all go. (places a varied assortment of potables on the bar)

Congrats on going 'gold', Hannah. There's a national coffee brand over here called, Maxwell House. Their long-time slogan was first uttered, the company claims, by Teddy Roosevelt after trying a cup of their brew. "Good to the last drop." Just a thought.

Any 'real' drink orders?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 Feb 2017 20:47

Okay, let's keep this hush-hush, you know, just between us guys, if you know what I mean. (pulls out an unopened, still sealed bottle of 'Wild Turkey' and pours two plus shots on top of the rocks resting inside four semi-clean tumblers) Thought I'd join you, if that's okay? If it's not, well, you dispirited losers can drink out in the parking lot. ;)

Gil, since everyone here is raving about your story, odds are it won't even get an, honorable mention. Here's a 'Hannnah' to ease your way through your reading list.

Any more drink orders?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 Feb 2017 10:25

All right, no shoving. You'll all get served, sooner or later.

Thanks for that link, Hannah. And as a token of appreciation, here's a 'Hannah' to wash down the taste of all that tea. ;)

Seeker, be nice to BC and BC may (or may not) be nice to you...and let you use the spoon for your own tea.

MP, both you and Nora Jones are prime examples of, goodness. (slides over two GoldSchlagers)

Verbal, just to make today even spookier, it's Kurt Cobain's 50th birthday. I'm not into horoscopes, still... .

On that festive note, who's ready for a drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

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Stories Published By RumpleForeskin All Stories »

Served Just Right

  They were young, restless, and bored beyond depression. The two nursing students had been in Gwen’s cramped, single-person, dorm room since coming back from supper, smoking and joking, talking about school, men, and life while playing Beatles LP’s, keeping the incense burner going, and steadily draining the bottle of bourbon Mark had left, "for safe keeping," before flying home for a...

Added 09 Feb 2017 | Category Lesbian | Votes 14 | Avg Score 4.93 | Views 4,539 | 10 Comments

A Parting Gift To Remember

From her position draped over the back of an old, stuffed armchair, Lynn felt the fresh load of cum oozing out of her throbbing pussy, working its way through matted pubic hairs, then sliding down trembling inner thighs until it dripped onto the floor.  The thick cream felt cool on her hot, flushed, skin.  With Bob’s help, she struggled to her feet, turned around and hugged him. It had been...

Added 23 Dec 2016 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 22 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,188 | 18 Comments

What Are Friends For?

She blew in like a pissed off F5 tornado, shouted, "Don't say a fucking thing,” slammed the door shut,and slung her purse across the room. It ricocheted away from my butt-weary couch, cleared off the end table, then teetered briefly at the edge before following the displaced debris onto the floor. Only the reading lamp survived, leaning drunkenly against the wall, shade tilted at a...

Added 20 Aug 2016 | Category Love Stories | Votes 15 | Avg Score 5 | Views 3,579 | 13 Comments

Afternoon Aftermath

For Cindy Davis, it had been a weekend of unbelievable firsts. She had just spent two nights in a mid-town hotel room making almost constant love with Ray, a man she barely knew. Of course, it had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, no doubt about that. He’d been alone, a long way from home and had needed her. Still, it marked the first time she’d ever cheated on her fiance', which...

Added 21 Apr 2016 | Category Reluctance | Votes 17 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 9,545 | 10 Comments

Treats First then the Trick

It was a fantastic fuck. Randi Druitt's sex-charged body writhed and shuddered. A large, powerfully built man lay between her widespread legs. With deep, fluid strokes, he pumped his demanding cock in and out of her very willing pussy. Each thrust left her gasping with passion and wanting more. The freckle-faced redhead lay nude on the backseat of an old Buick, parked on the far side of a...

Added 21 Oct 2015 | Category Cheating | Votes 11 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,806 | 7 Comments

Recommended Read Getting A Lot Of What She Wants

The thick, glistening shaft slipped from Cindy’s mouth like a long, sexy serpent. When the swollen cockhead came into view, she lapped at its smooth surface while glancing up at her husband. Ray’s big, nude body was sprawled comfortably on their living room couch. Curly blonde hair cushioned his head against the wall. Those blue eyes she adored so much were shut. His lips were parted. It...

Added 28 Sep 2015 | Category Fetish | Votes 14 | Avg Score 5 | Views 5,985 | 15 Comments

Of Love and War and Donna Lynn

It was another turbulent day in the summer of 68. Student protests raged from the Sorbonne to Berkeley. In the US, civil rights demonstrations and anti-war rallies were turning violent. Martin Luther King was dead; Bobby Kennedy would be soon. In South Vietnam, hundreds of other Americans were being killed each month. Soldiers patrolled the streets of Saigon, Paris, and Washington while...

Added 31 Aug 2015 | Category Historical | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.83 | Views 1,743 | 17 Comments

A Different Sort of Cramming

Textbooks and study notes showered down from the bouncing mattress of a venerable four-poster bed as a long, thick, column of rigid flesh kept up a steady rhythm of lust and need, surging back and forth past stretched, slightly irritated pussy lips that clutch tightly around the unyielding shaft relentlessly cramming its engorged cock head into the inner most depths of a wet, stuffed...

Added 27 Aug 2015 | Category Quickie Sex | Votes 7 | Avg Score 5 | Views 8,170 | 5 Comments

Feels So Right It Can’t Be Wrong: chapter 3

Kelly woke in her stepbrother’s bed cuddled next to his nude body. The sheet barely covered his morning erection. She thought about teasing him awake, it struck her as the big-sisterly thing to do, but then rolled onto her back, stretched, and immediately dozed off and slipped into yet another rerun of her dreams. Like most of those she’d had recently, they involved sex. Unlike the...

Added 30 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 16 | Avg Score 5 | Views 22,105 | 9 Comments

Feels So Right, It Can’t Be Wrong: Chapter 2

After a lot of poking, prodding, and teasing, the stepsiblings managed to disentangle and get off Jason’s bed. Before he could pull Kelly out of the room, however, she noticed the sheets. “Whoa. Halt. Stop. Sorry, but those sheets have got to go.” Jason protested but she remained adamant as only a somewhat fastidious big sister can be and began stripping the bed. Perhaps it was seeing her...

Added 27 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 12 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 21,631 | 6 Comments

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Friends Comments


browncoffee
Posted: 01 Feb 2017 13:53

HeraTeleia
Posted: 09 Jan 2017 20:52
Thank you for the add, love!


Milik_the_Red
Posted: 31 Dec 2016 13:30

Buz
Posted: 23 Dec 2016 14:50
Merry Christmas, Rumpy!


ChuckEPoo
Posted: 05 Oct 2016 10:59
Thanks for adding me.
elizabethblack
Posted: 05 Oct 2016 09:50
Just saw this and knew you had to have it:

elizabethblack
Posted: 26 Aug 2016 17:33
elizabethblack
Posted: 02 Jul 2016 20:08

WellMadeMale
Posted: 31 May 2016 14:47
Your honky tonk can use an upgrade, chief...


Gillianleeeza
Posted: 13 May 2016 15:03
I never thought of making them into necklaces. I'll have to give it a try.
elizabethblack
Posted: 16 Apr 2016 20:44

Gillianleeeza
Posted: 09 Apr 2016 17:41
Waiting for my drink and more umbrellas.

Milik_the_Red
Posted: 26 Mar 2016 22:43
elizabethblack
Posted: 26 Mar 2016 20:29
Happy Easter and Congratulations, but keep those tears dried away

Gillianleeeza
Posted: 25 Mar 2016 21:29
I'm pretty sure she'd win the contest. I'll just keep drinking.

Gillianleeeza
Posted: 21 Mar 2016 17:02
Can't decide if I should go out back to the dumpster. I think I'll drink inside for awhile.
Lush
Posted: 17 Mar 2016 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.

biggym
Posted: 16 Mar 2016 17:13
Happy Happy Birthday!!! Know it will be a naughty day. Stay naked and hard. Enjoy.

Buz
Posted: 02 Mar 2016 20:16
elizabethblack
Posted: 14 Feb 2016 19:37
Have a great Valentine weekend
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