About RumpleForeskin

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Rumple Foreskin
Relationship Status:
Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx, Texas, United States
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
26 Apr 2015 (1 hour ago)
Page Viewed:
21,605 times
Days in Chat:
Days on Site:
Forum Posts:
Latest Forum Posts
Topic: The Right Rev Rumple Rumbles
Posted: 26 Apr 2015 11:40

Dearly beloved, the preachment you are about to receive comes from the 'real' Bible (the King James Version) and is taken from MATTHEW 20:16 So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen.

Sisters and Brothers, today we have yet more proof of the infallibility of the 'Good Book', for on this day, it is a truth beyond mortal understanding that the once lowly, pathetic, some might even say, pitiful, excuse for a baseball team, The Houston Astros, are now in first place in the American League west division.

Not sure if some heathen Astro fans have worked out a deal with the devil similar to that mentioned in the musical 'Damn Yankees'. If not, then there must have been a whole mess of serious praying going on in Houston-town. Can I have a big, AMEN?

The Right Rev Rumple Foreskin glasses8

Topic: Story Idea: Mom joins teen sex orgy
Posted: 24 Apr 2015 09:28

That little news piece stirred things up a bit. That's a goodness. Just a couple points. Based soley on that thumbnail report, there was no incest, unless the mother & daughter got it on. Second, the only age mentioned was 'teenager'. That means the odds are 4-to-3 the kids were of age. And considering the sexual activity level of the two age groups, I'd guess the odds heavily favor the 'teenagers' all being of age. Parting shot: everyone has condemned that tramp of a mother's activities. But what if it had just been the the 'of age' daughter, her 'of age' boyfriend, and the mother? Kind of sounds a bit like some LUSH stories I've encountered. Anyway, IMO, it's the other teens joining in the drugs and sex that lead to all that entirely justifiable legal retribution.

Any thoughts?


Topic: Word for the day
Posted: 23 Apr 2015 06:52

sodomitical (because it's a word that always makes me laugh)


Topic: Story Idea: Mom joins teen sex orgy
Posted: 23 Apr 2015 06:00

Taken from USAToday:

Police: Mom loses 5 kids after sex party with daughter

A 35-year-old mother of five has lost custody of her children after police say she hosted a sex party for her teenage daughter. She is accused of joining the teens in pot, alcohol, sex and naked twister.

Of course, one of the unwritten "rules" of erotic writing is that not unlike the "Romance" genre, all stories get the best response from readers when the conclusion is upbeat. But then, who knows, maybe her 'losing' the kids is best for all involved. Anyway, just a 'Ripped from real-life headlines' story idea some LUSH writers might want to consider.


Topic: Word for the day
Posted: 22 Apr 2015 15:31



Topic: Word for the day
Posted: 22 Apr 2015 15:27



Topic: Today's Thought or Message
Posted: 22 Apr 2015 07:15

Don't take life so serious, it ain't no-how permanent.


Topic: What's your best attribute?
Posted: 22 Apr 2015 06:17

I've always had this uncanny, not to mention, inexplicable, ability to make everyone who comes into contact with me, suddenly feel incredibly superior. Strange, but true.


Topic: Which story would you recommend from Lush?
Posted: 21 Apr 2015 16:18

Back in November, Sprite wrote:

“Hard Candy by Dancing Doll

All her stuff is amazing, you should read all of - she is, without question, the most consistant and best writer of erotica out there - but this particular story just elevates erotica to a new level. it's the benchmark, really, for what the rest of us aspire to.”

Sprite is, “Just telling it like it is,” to quote Howard Cosell. I’d like to add two other stories to, Hard Candy.

“Jennifer’s Eggnog” by Jaymal, is a brilliant combination of humor, sex, and extraordinary writing. It’s also a contest winner, an Editor’s Pick, and one of those stories I wish I could have written.

“Blondie and the Black Knight” by Sprite: The first time I read this story it blew me away and left me with a huge case of writer envy..among other things. I just re-read it, and, somehow, it’s gotten even better. Original, urban, hip, hardcore, breakneck pace, and hot as hell.

Do yourself a favor and check it out along with “Hard Candy” and “Jennifer’s Eggnot.” You can thank me later.


Topic: 50 Shades
Posted: 14 Apr 2015 09:07

OMKN is right about LUSH being a much kinder sight for writers of bd/sm stories than many others on the net.

As for traffic being down, if that really is the case, odds are it has more to do with dropping incest stories than with a post-50 slump..

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Stories Published By RumpleForeskin
Feels So Right It Can’t Be Wrong: chapter 3

Kelly woke in her stepbrother’s bed cuddled next to his nude body. The sheet barely covered his morning erection. She thought about teasing him awake, it struck her as the big-sisterly thing to do, but then rolled onto her back, stretched, and immediately dozed off and slipped into yet another rerun of her dreams. Like most of those she’d had recently, they involved sex. Unlike the...

Added 30 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 16 | Avg Score 5 | Views 18,633 | 8 Comments

Feels So Right, It Can’t Be Wrong: Chapter 2

After a lot of poking, prodding, and teasing, the stepsiblings managed to disentangle and get off Jason’s bed. Before he could pull Kelly out of the room, however, she noticed the sheets. “Whoa. Halt. Stop. Sorry, but those sheets have got to go.” Jason protested but she remained adamant as only a somewhat fastidious big sister can be and began stripping the bed. Perhaps it was seeing her...

Added 27 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 14 | Avg Score 4.93 | Views 18,076 | 6 Comments

Feels So Right, It Can’t Be Wrong: Chapter 1

Horny, nervous, and half-naked, Kelly Layton peeked through the open bedroom door. Inside, her kid brother, make that her kid stepbrother, lay stretched out on his unmade bed, reading a paperback. But he’s no kid, thought Kelly. Not anymore. Though still just eighteen, with his athletic build, dark hair, eyes the same steel-gray as his father’s, and a smile that could get him laid in...

Added 25 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 21 | Avg Score 5 | Views 33,108 | 7 Comments


The old-style Checker cab inched away from the congested airport loading zone,then pulled out into the cold, rainy January evening and headed for a downtown hotel. Inside, Gwen studied Mark's face. For all she knew, he might have found someone special while back home. Hesitantly, even shyly, she asked, "Did you miss me?” Mark nodded, "You were all I could think about on the flight up....

Added 30 Mar 2014 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 19 | Avg Score 4.74 | Views 4,228 | 14 Comments

Compare and Contrast

After what she insisted would be a once-in-a-lifetime weekend spent making love with Mark Cahill, her ‘other’ man, the one who wasn’t her fiance’, Gwen had promised both herself and her friends it would never happen again. Her friends were openly skeptical. Her friends were right. Despite Gwen’s best intentions, the long weekend she spent with Mark wasn’t a one-time event, but the beginning...

Added 08 Feb 2014 | Category Oral Sex | Votes 8 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 4,794 | 5 Comments

Just A Brief Affair

In Mark Cahill’s considered opinion, things could be one hell of a lot worse. He was out of his room at the nearby Manhattan veterans’ hospital, sitting in a coffee shop on Lexington Avenue and staring across the small cluttered table into the soft, brown eyes of a very attractive student nurse. At the moment, she seemed to be saying something about school. He’d nod at times, even mumble to...

Added 27 Jan 2014 | Category Cheating | Votes 7 | Avg Score 5 | Views 14,502 | 5 Comments

Willie And The Brain

Willie and the Brain By Rumple Foreskin Many hours later, as she faced questions from her sorority sisters, Tanya the Tri-Delt Tramp would remember, Willie, the frat boy she’d been screwing cowboy style that morning and his awesome orgasm that blew her off both his spurting cock and the bed. What she couldn’t understand and mentioned to no one was how, during lift off, she heard him...

Added 17 Jul 2012 | Category College Sex | Votes 15 | Avg Score 4.67 | Views 6,827 | 9 Comments

A Seasonal Seduction

"Bah, humbug." Cindy Davis was most definitely not overflowing with holiday cheer. In fact, her happy yuletide tank had been empty all week. Now she was filling up with Jack Daniels, but it wasn't improving her mood. Sue Cangelosi turned away from the mini-refrigerator and walked over with two re-filled plastic glasses. "Girl, you are just no fun at Christmas parties. That's no way to bring...

Added 18 Jan 2014 | Category Seduction | Votes 19 | Avg Score 4.79 | Views 39,965 | 14 Comments

Looking for Sex in outdoor places: a cautionary tale

What a fucking fantastic fuck! Making love outdoors was even better than Angie had imagined. Sitting astride her lover, feeling the sun and wind on her flushed, tingling skin was such a turn-on. Everything around them seemed so peaceful and sexy. The sounds of nature were accompanied by the rhythmic slurping of her lover’s thick shaft moving inside her wet, and, oh so happy, pussy. The more...

Added 07 Apr 2013 | Category Humor | Votes 8 | Avg Score 4.63 | Views 5,448 | 4 Comments


NICE CAN BE VERY NICE by Rumple Foreskin Velma Meeks sat enthroned at one end of the worn couch in her haphazardly furnished living room. In the far corner, a muted TV flickered alone and unobserved. She lit a fresh cigarette with her old one, made a token attempt at crushing the butt, then left the still smoldering stub in the overflowing ashtray. After a deep drag, she leaned back and...

Added 26 Apr 2010 | Category Love Stories | Votes 6 | Avg Score 4.5 | Views 2,658 | 4 Comments

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Friends Comments
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Posted: 17 Mar 2015 17:37

Posted: 17 Mar 2015 05:00
Happy Happy Birthday!!! Know it will be a naughty day. Enjoy.
Posted: 17 Mar 2015 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.

Posted: 20 Dec 2014 14:02

Posted: 31 Oct 2014 08:11

Posted: 30 Oct 2014 21:51
Happy Halloween!

Posted: 14 Jul 2014 20:04
Posted: 20 May 2014 10:48

Posted: 02 Apr 2014 11:10
Posted: 17 Mar 2014 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.

Posted: 16 Mar 2014 19:05
Happy Birthday Rumpy!!!

Posted: 16 Mar 2014 08:01

Thank you very much for reading My First Taste Of Cock...

I’m so grateful you took the time, thanks for your comment!


Posted: 31 Dec 2013 17:17
A Very Happy New Year to you and yours
Posted: 21 Dec 2013 07:31

Here to deliver presents: Merry Christmas!
Posted: 19 Dec 2013 22:55
Have enjoyable holiday season
Posted: 19 Dec 2013 14:31

Posted: 12 Dec 2013 03:58

Posted: 25 Oct 2013 12:13
Maz, anytime you're troubled by thoughts of me in the future, a couple shots of 151 proof rum should help relieve some of the pain.

Posted: 25 Oct 2013 05:41

I saw this today and thought of you...

Posted: 14 Oct 2013 05:19

Thank you so much for reading and commenting on Perfucktory!

I’m glad you enjoyed it, thank you for taking the time!

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