About RumpleForeskin

Biography

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Name:
Rumple Foreskin
Sex:
Male 
Age:
70
Sign:
Pisces
Relationship Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Location:
Lost in the desert west of Apache Junction, USA , Arizona, United States
Local Time:
23 Jun 2017 18:20
Interests:
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Website:

Statistics

Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
23 Jun 2017 (1 hour ago)
Page Viewed:
27,701 times
Friends:
67
Followers:
76
Days in Chat:
0
Days on Site:
30+
Forum Posts:
3,916
Stories:
33
Badges:
16

Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 23 Jun 2017 12:31

And now for something really different.

Over on da 'Blue' site (Stories Space) I've inflicted a 230 word spoof of late-night info-mercials. It's not-too-cleverly titled: The Info-mercial from Hell'. Here's the link...maybe.

http://www.storiesspace.com/stories/flash-fiction/the-infomercial-from-hell.aspx

Truth be told, the comments are funnier than the story...a fact that will surprise no one familiar with my scribbling over here.

Anyway, if you get a chance, give it a look-see. BTW, you might want to down a drink or two before going over there, and you'll want to take a stiff one with you, and I'll have another waiting for when you get back...but you gotta order something first. So wh adda ya want?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 23 Jun 2017 10:16

Jen, hate like hell to hear about your friend's failing health. Hang in there.

For the rest of you, be sure to hug all the ones you love this weekend.

Mike and Jen both wanted coffee while Tanya craved tea.. Phil was asking about beer, but that was some time ago. So here's the deal...the coffee and tea are a'coming and I've rinsed out a big mug for Phil's beer if he's still so inclined. Any more orders?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 22 Jun 2017 07:29

Greetings. Did anyone else wonder if the randy rabble here at Rumplations inspired Nic to launch the current 'Filthy' contest? Probably not, but who knows?

Gil, if your eye troubles makes reading a chore, you might want to consider listening to some pieces of prime prose. Audible.com comes to mind as does the 'audio' section here at Lush. And if you don't mind 'text to speech' online e-books and short story collections might be worth checking out. Main thing is to take care and get mo' better real soon while sipping on your 'Hannah'.

Just a reminder that according to the unwritten and most flexible rules concerning elevation of stories into RRR status...all it takes is for two regulars to nominate a story for it to be proclaimed a, Rumplations Recommended Read. (hint, hint)

Okay, Bertha's making those noises that indicate a fresh batch of her version of coffee is now available. Anyone besides Reg want a mug full of her liquid bliss?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 Jun 2017 20:09

Scott wrote: Lush is life. Now get a beer over here. Got some living to do.

Me, I say: Yas-ah, boss. (slides over a frozen schooner of Bloated Bladder Beer)

Tanya, as clearly stated in the unwritten rules, "for a story to be granted the honor of being named a 'Rumplations Recommended Read' (RRR) it must be nominated by at least two different customers." Since all the 'irregulars' who come in here are exceedingly 'different', anyone can nominate any story any time. Any questions?

The bar still has a unique selection of more or less potable alcoholic beverages. (hint, hint) So what do you con-e-sewers of prime porn want to drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 Jun 2017 12:35

Best I can recall, there's a serious call for coffee and 'Hannah's'. If that doesn't float your boat, just take your complaint the the head of our Complaint Department, Helen Waits. That's right, you got a complaint, go to Helen Waits. (for the literal minded, absent-minded, or just clueless, 'Helen Waits' would be pronounced, 'hell and wait'. It's a joke...honest.)

Jeff, don't give up on the contest or, even worse, admit to such an act. You might spur that whip wielding London lass back into action.

If you got a thirst, we got the answer for you. So whadda ya want?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: Watch This Space for a Stupendous Announcement about the New Direction of LushStories!
Posted: 21 Jun 2017 08:49

Phil wrote:
4D software : "4D (4th Dimension, or Silver Surfer, as it was known during early development) is a relational database management system and IDE developed by Laurent Ribardière." Which is probably a little less exciting for most of us...


Me, I wrote: Never underestimate the intellectual curiosity of Lushers and Lushettes...mainly 'cause it can't be done.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 Jun 2017 08:14

It's the first day of summer! Y'all might not believe this, but out here in the desert that is not, I say again, NOT, a cause for celebration, trust me.

Reg and Mike, Here's a mug filled to the point of sloshing over the rim with a 'Hump Day' version of 'Bertha's Best Brew' with a stiff shot of BBB to enhance the drinking experience.

Any more orders or y'all just hanging around here to soak up the atmosphere and/or ambiance?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 20 Jun 2017 19:15

Evening, you two.

Laura, here's your Cuba Libra. Mike, I'm guessing you want a beer, right?

BTW, 'plot' is a four-letter word. Why let something like a story arc mess up your creativity and interrupt that stream of consciousness?

Any more orders? If so, just write them on a twenty-dollar bill and tuck it between Tawny's boobs. If she decides the bill ain't fake, you just might get a drink.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 20 Jun 2017 15:42

How you all are? Gil, you ready for a refill on that G&T? BTW, sorry to hear about your eye trouble. Get better. You hear me, Lady?

Chesh, do believe you wanted tea. Here's you a bag of Earl Grey, a mug of scalding hot water, and one spoon. Condi-mints are on the bar. You'll have to work out the details for yourself. ;)
eta: You might want to show your manners and all by checking on Emily. If she's still around she might still want some tea.

Adag, you didn't show up whining about needing a drink so you must need one really bad. Well, bad drinks are a specialty around here so feel free to join the rest of these free loaders and order away.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 20 Jun 2017 08:43

Morning, y'all. It's 8:30 am, out here in the desert and the temp has already passed 90f (32.8c) and is expected to reach somewhere around 120 this afternoon. Me, I don't care how dry the heat might be, imo, that's, " ...hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut,"...to quote Robin Williams doing his Walter Cronkite voice in, 'Good Morning, Vietnam'.. (sips on a Long Island Tea).

So congrats are in order for Jen and Mike on their 'Losing It' collaboration earning an, RR. Congrats, youse guys.

Got several orders for Bertha's Best Brew to which some of you might want to add a shot or two of Beaver Breath Brandy to 'enhance' your drinking experience.

So what'll you overheated types want to drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

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Stories Published By RumpleForeskin All Stories »

A Really Good Mood

With a spray of gravel, the ’66 Chevelle Super Sport sped away from the American Legion parking lot, raced down a narrow, blacktop access road, then slowed imperceptibly before making a tire-squealing right onto the main highway. The car quickly accelerated until it was speeding through the muggy, North Louisiana night. The cherry-red Chevy was always speeding — the only question being by...

Added 12 Jun 2017 | Category Seduction | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.94 | Views 3,898 | 15 Comments

Adieu, Alan

His candle burned at both ends, It could not last the night.   But readers and friends all agree, It gave such a marvelous...

Added 26 Mar 2017 | Category Love Poems | Votes 33 | Avg Score 4.81 | Views 450 | 30 Comments

Served Just Right

  They were young, restless, and bored beyond depression. The two nursing students had been in Gwen’s cramped, single-person, dorm room since coming back from supper, smoking and joking, talking about school, men, and life while playing Beatles LP’s, keeping the incense burner going, and steadily draining the bottle of bourbon Mark had left, "for safe keeping," before flying home for a...

Added 09 Feb 2017 | Category Lesbian | Votes 14 | Avg Score 4.93 | Views 6,638 | 9 Comments

A Parting Gift To Remember

From her position draped over the back of an old, stuffed armchair, Lynn felt the fresh load of cum oozing out of her throbbing pussy, working its way through matted pubic hairs, then sliding down trembling inner thighs until it dripped onto the floor.  The thick cream felt cool on her hot, flushed, skin.  With Bob’s help, she struggled to her feet, turned around and hugged him. It had been...

Added 23 Dec 2016 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 22 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,576 | 17 Comments

What Are Friends For?

She blew in like a pissed off F5 tornado, shouted, "Don't say a fucking thing,” slammed the door shut,and slung her purse across the room. It ricocheted away from my butt-weary couch, cleared off the end table, then teetered briefly at the edge before following the displaced debris onto the floor. Only the reading lamp survived, leaning drunkenly against the wall, shade tilted at a...

Added 20 Aug 2016 | Category Love Stories | Votes 16 | Avg Score 5 | Views 3,919 | 13 Comments

Afternoon Aftermath

For Cindy Davis, it had been a weekend of unbelievable firsts. She had just spent two nights in a mid-town hotel room making almost constant love with Ray, a man she barely knew. Of course, it had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, no doubt about that. He’d been alone, a long way from home and had needed her. Still, it marked the first time she’d ever cheated on her fiance', which...

Added 21 Apr 2016 | Category Reluctance | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.89 | Views 10,152 | 10 Comments

Treats First then the Trick

It was a fantastic fuck. Randi Druitt's sex-charged body writhed and shuddered. A large, powerfully built man lay between her widespread legs. With deep, fluid strokes, he pumped his demanding cock in and out of her very willing pussy. Each thrust left her gasping with passion and wanting more. The freckle-faced redhead lay nude on the backseat of an old Buick, parked on the far side of a...

Added 21 Oct 2015 | Category Cheating | Votes 12 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,989 | 7 Comments

Recommended Read Getting A Lot Of What She Wants

The thick, glistening shaft slipped from Cindy’s mouth like a long, sexy serpent. When the swollen cockhead came into view, she lapped at its smooth surface while glancing up at her husband. Ray’s big, nude body was sprawled comfortably on their living room couch. Curly blonde hair cushioned his head against the wall. Those blue eyes she adored so much were shut. His lips were parted. It...

Added 28 Sep 2015 | Category Fetish | Votes 15 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,363 | 17 Comments

Of Love and War and Donna Lynn

It was another turbulent day in the summer of 68. Student protests raged from the Sorbonne to Berkeley. In the US, civil rights demonstrations and anti-war rallies were turning violent. Martin Luther King was dead; Bobby Kennedy would be soon. In South Vietnam, hundreds of other Americans were being killed each month. Soldiers patrolled the streets of Saigon, Paris, and Washington while...

Added 31 Aug 2015 | Category Historical | Votes 19 | Avg Score 4.84 | Views 2,063 | 17 Comments

A Different Sort of Cramming

Textbooks and study notes showered down from the bouncing mattress of a venerable four-poster bed as a long, thick, column of rigid flesh kept up a steady rhythm of lust and need, surging back and forth past stretched, slightly irritated pussy lips that clutch tightly around the unyielding shaft relentlessly cramming its engorged cock head into the inner most depths of a wet, stuffed...

Added 27 Aug 2015 | Category Quickie Sex | Votes 8 | Avg Score 5 | Views 8,388 | 5 Comments

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Friends Comments


Simplicity
Posted: 13 Jun 2017 05:56

browncoffee
Posted: 12 Jun 2017 01:18

Simplicity
Posted: 09 Jun 2017 10:10

Simplicity
Posted: 04 Jun 2017 13:05
Thank you for the add..

Buz
Posted: 19 May 2017 21:13

browncoffee
Posted: 27 Apr 2017 06:23

elizabethblack
Posted: 15 Apr 2017 21:08
Love Bessie Smith - thanks for the reminder

Simmerdownchick
Posted: 13 Apr 2017 22:49



Simmerdownchick
Posted: 27 Mar 2017 17:36
Lilly
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 16:42

biggym
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 03:10
Happy Happy Birthday!!! Know it will be a naughty fun day. Stay naked and hard. Enjoy and smile.
Lush
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.
Lydia_
Posted: 16 Mar 2017 17:26

Milik_the_Red
Posted: 05 Mar 2017 17:11

Simmerdownchick
Posted: 03 Mar 2017 22:58






Simmerdownchick
Posted: 02 Mar 2017 19:13
Thanks for accepting my friend request~

Simmerdownchick
Posted: 02 Mar 2017 19:12


browncoffee
Posted: 02 Mar 2017 01:13

Buz
Posted: 28 Feb 2017 12:30
Bill, I'm dropping a few bottles of Southern Comfort off to celebrate with you. It seems some of us southern gentleman are appreciated. Congratulations!


browncoffee
Posted: 01 Feb 2017 13:53
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