About RumpleForeskin

Biography

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Name:
Rumple Foreskin
Sex:
Male 
Age:
71
Sign:
Pisces
Relationship Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Location:
Lost in the desert west of Tombstone, AZ , Arizona, United States
Local Time:
22 Jul 2018 07:40
Interests:
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Website:

Statistics

Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
21 Jul 2018 (15 hours ago)
Page Viewed:
31,853 times
Friends:
84
Followers:
85
Days in Chat:
0
Days on Site:
13
Forum Posts:
4,955
Stories:
36
Badges:
16

Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 Jul 2018 16:34

It's a bit stunning how many folks are enduring rain. Hell, we even had some of that stuff out here in the valley of the sun. Of course, this is what the locals call the 'monsoon season'...no kidding.

Scott, we ain't got no Jap beer! (how'd ya like my Trumpian double-negative?) Not that we'd object to selling the stuff. Thing is, I'm told they don't want their brand's image to get tarnished by showing up at Rumplations. (shakes head)

Gill, here's your 'real' Hannah. Sarah, hang in there, sunset is coming. Meanwhile, here's your sweet iced tea.

Odds are I'm forgetting somebody's order. Just more proof that life can be cruel to the young and beautiful and a total bitch to the rest of us. So whadda youse guys wanna drink?

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 Jul 2018 09:09

A warm, in fact, hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut, greeting. Big Bertha is once again primed to put out her potent potable.

Jim, it's dark roast Louisiana coffee made with only the purist swamp water so it's being fresh shouldn't be too much of a bother for you. Scott aalso needs coffee. Whether he wants coffee is a subject of interest to no one else. If Mr. G can break eye contact with that AV, he'll find a mug of eye opener on the bar in front of him.

What about the rest of you flotsam and jetsam in the literary gene pool of Lushland? Care to share with the rest of us just what in the name of both Old and Crow what ya wwanna drink?

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 20 Jul 2018 19:51

All this here intimate intercourse, socially speaking, is sooooo life affirming...or something like that.

Your Attention Pleease: The following is a somewhat less than special announcement, to wit -- On or about Sunday evening (desert time) I'll submit my contest entry. This proclaimation is not an act of unmitigated hubris, well, not entirely, but intended to force me to stop futzing with the damn thing and click on, submit...honest.

You may now return to your usual carousal.

Due to the hot weather up here north of the equator, the chiller unit thermostat has been lowered two degrees. UK types can still have their beer at room temp. So whadda ya derelicts on the dead-end road of life wanna drink?.

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 20 Jul 2018 05:52

Good morning, Ms Bertha. I'm Foreskin from Rumplations and I'm here to help you...please stop chortling, Ms Bertha.

Okay, tell ya what, let's cut out the polite palaver and turn to tanking you up with fresh ground Louisiana dark roast coffee, pure swamp water and a secret ingredient known only to that great Cajun in the sky, honest.

Now for the rest of you literary lay-abouts, who'll be first to try some of this remarkable coffee? Of course, hot water is available for the tea and coco crowd along with our beyond compare beers and wines and the always popular collection of fine lickers. So whadda y'all wanna drink?

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 19 Jul 2018 08:54

In the immortal words of country music comedian, Minnie Pearl, "How-deee!"

Sincere thanks are extended to Curvy for collaborating with Big Bertha to give us the benefit of 'Celtic Coffee'. Sure hope our Kansas Irishman (Fuzzy) stops by to give it a try with, no doubt, a generous enhancement of Jameson's.

Ping, congrats on all that shrinkage.

Tanya, glad it was a great concert. Just so ya know, those links don't show up on my screen. I'll be heading to U-Tube later to give that number a listen.

Thanks to Curvy, Big Bertha has plenty to offer, with or without 'enhancements'. And speaking of 'enhancements, Rumplations mediocre menu of bleak beers, watery wines, plus our always popular fine lickers, is available for a most nominal charge. So whadda ya writers of the porn wanna drink?

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 17 Jul 2018 14:50

In celebration of Lush reaching 50,000 stories and poems, for the rest of the day, all drinks are on...Jeff's tab (with LJ around, he'll never notice).

Curvy, here's your beer.
Sarah, sweet iced tea is heading your way.
Extra strong coffee is coming up for daddy Jim.
Jen wants a Jolter and Irish Tea (?) for Scott. While the mgt & staff try to figure out what in the name of both Jack and Daniels is 'Irish Tea',here's ya a beer, big guy.

Not sure, but best I recall, Larry ordered a Virgin Hannah. Sure hope so 'cause that's what he's getting.

Those craving a zesty little tidbit might want to try some of the 'Jalapeno Zappers' just dropped off by a strange life form in a sombrero (or two.

You'll want something to drink with those. In fact, you'll NEED something to drink with those. So whadda ya wanna drink?

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">.

Topic: We've published 50,000+ stories and poems!
Posted: 17 Jul 2018 14:08

50,000 stories and poems -- SWEET MOTHER OF PEARL! :O

The management and staff (and barflies) of Rumplations extend mega-congrats to Nic and all her hench-people who keep things rolling here in the land of Lush.

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 17 Jul 2018 06:42

Morning and or afternoon and/or evening as the case may be. This thing of starting the day with Canadian coffee may not be the 'bees's knees' but it is most definitely the 'moose's bellow'. Thanks, Scott.

Tanya, hope you have a great time at the concert and don't get drowned.

Think I'll slide out for a bite of breakfast, then come back to spread fear and loathing among all non-Lushers. Meanwhile, don't make a mess and clean up after you do.

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 16 Jul 2018 09:06

Yes, it's Monday. The good news is if you only lived in Kiwi or Aussie lands, you'd already be savoring Tuesday...the lucky dogs.

Scott's new contest entry is posted and waiting for your perusal. Also and in addition, the last installment in our Mad Man's 'Blondie' series also awaits your scrutiny. Check 'em both out. You can thank me later.

There's probably a fascinating bith of Lush news/gossip I could pass along. Only problem is the Rumplations' cracked investigation team has faile to come up with anything other than an epic bit of fiction titled, 'Expense Report' (sigh).

Thanks to Scot's noble effort, Big Bertha is full of prime Canadian coffee and is eager to put it out to all in need of a caffine hit. Of course, our extensive menu of liquid delights include hot water for the tea and coco crowd, beers that have no equal, wines from grapes harvested years before their time, plus our renowned collection of fine lickers. So whadda ya dabblers in words of love, lust, and degeneracy wanna drink?

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 15 Jul 2018 18:38

Ms Daisy wants sweet iced tea. Roger that. Scot wants wine and then more wine from France or in this case, French Lick, Indiana. Jim needs a mug of Big Berthha's 'bottom settlement' to help wash down all those raw carrots. And Curly deserves that beer she ordered.

Anybody else out there need something to wet their whistle?

<img src="/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

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Stories Published By RumpleForeskin All Stories »

Terri's Transformation

The nice, young, married, nurse had never made love at work, or with a black man, or been unfaithful to her husband, but all that had changed. Terri Cummings was doing all three at once and loving every illicit, carnal first-time moment. Waves of ecstasy surged through her writhing body as the powerfully built man between her widespread legs hammered his demanding cock in and out of her...

Added 09 Jan 2018 | Category Uniform | Votes 25 | Avg Score 4.78 | Views 4,657 | 23 Comments

Feels So Right, It Can't Be Wrong: chapter 4

Kelly Layton glanced out at the dreary, post-blizzard landscape. Just looking at it made her feel cold. That alone would have been enough to keep her indoors, but she had one more special reason. A sudden wave of ecstasy rippled across her nude body and she quivered with delight. Moving her gaze away from the outside world, she smiled and watched the familiar blonde head bobbing between...

Added 09 Dec 2017 | Category Taboo | Votes 9 | Avg Score 4.89 | Views 6,869 | 6 Comments

Editor's Pick A Bookish Love Story

  The dream had returned--so had the eyes. They hovered in an angry sky just above the horizon, seeing everything but focusing on nothing. Amy knew those eyes—knew a time when they’d been filled with happiness and a love of life. But that had been before her brother came back from Vietnam. Young, naked, and skinny, she stood alone and vulnerable on a hill surrounded by flames where...

Added 02 Oct 2017 | Category Love Stories | Votes 26 | Avg Score 5 | Views 7,635 | 28 Comments

A Really Good Mood

With a spray of gravel, the ’66 Chevelle Super Sport sped away from the American Legion parking lot, raced down a narrow, blacktop access road, then slowed imperceptibly before making a tire-squealing right onto the main highway. The car quickly accelerated until it was speeding through the muggy, North Louisiana night. The cherry-red Chevy was always speeding — the only question being by...

Added 12 Jun 2017 | Category Seduction | Votes 20 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,386 | 16 Comments

Adieu, Alan

His candle burned at both ends, It could not last the night.   But readers and friends all agree, It gave such a marvelous...

Added 26 Mar 2017 | Category Love Poems | Votes 30 | Avg Score 4.79 | Views 809 | 27 Comments

Served Just Right

  They were young, restless, and bored beyond depression. The two nursing students had been in Gwen’s cramped, single-person, dorm room since coming back from supper, smoking and joking, talking about school, men, and life while playing Beatles LP’s, keeping the incense burner going, and steadily draining the bottle of bourbon Mark had left, "for safe keeping," before flying home for a...

Added 09 Feb 2017 | Category Lesbian | Votes 12 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 7,983 | 7 Comments

A Parting Gift To Remember

From her position draped over the back of an old, stuffed armchair, Lynn felt the fresh load of cum oozing out of her throbbing pussy, working its way through matted pubic hairs, then sliding down trembling inner thighs until it dripped onto the floor.  The thick cream felt cool on her hot, flushed, skin.  With Bob’s help, she struggled to her feet, turned around and hugged him. It had been...

Added 23 Dec 2016 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.94 | Views 3,359 | 15 Comments

What Are Friends For?

She blew in like a pissed off F5 tornado, shouted, "Don't say a fucking thing,” slammed the door shut,and slung her purse across the room. It ricocheted away from my butt-weary couch, cleared off the end table, then teetered briefly at the edge before following the displaced debris onto the floor. Only the reading lamp survived, leaning drunkenly against the wall, shade tilted at a...

Added 20 Aug 2016 | Category Love Stories | Votes 14 | Avg Score 5 | Views 5,198 | 11 Comments

Afternoon Aftermath

For Cindy Davis, it had been a weekend of unbelievable firsts. She had just spent two nights in a mid-town hotel room making almost constant love with Ray, a man she barely knew. Of course, it had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, no doubt about that. He’d been alone, a long way from home and had needed her. Still, it marked the first time she’d ever cheated on her fiance', which...

Added 21 Apr 2016 | Category Reluctance | Votes 16 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 11,609 | 7 Comments

Treats First then the Trick

It was a fantastic fuck. Randi Druitt's sex-charged body writhed and shuddered. A large, powerfully built man lay between her widespread legs. With deep, fluid strokes, he pumped his demanding cock in and out of her very willing pussy. Each thrust left her gasping with passion and wanting more. The freckle-faced redhead lay nude on the backseat of an old Buick, parked on the far side of a...

Added 21 Oct 2015 | Category Cheating | Votes 12 | Avg Score 5 | Views 7,706 | 7 Comments

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Friends Comments


24 days ago

17 Jun 2018 01:50

Milik_the_Red
Thanks for reading
17 Jun 2018 01:34

AmeliaLeigh
🌻🌻Thank you!! 🌻🌻
15 Jun 2018 08:33

edgiver83

Thank you for adding
15 Jun 2018 02:02

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11 May 2018 21:24

Sugarbaby2017
Have a great weekend.

27 Apr 2018 01:44

24 Apr 2018 19:33

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01 Apr 2018 01:36

biggym
HappyHappyBirthday!!! Know it will be a naughty fun day. Stay naked and hard. Enjoy and smile.
17 Mar 2018 03:53

17 Mar 2018 01:28
Lush
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.
17 Mar 2018 00:20
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