Buz, tell ya what, let's fill a #10 washtub with ice and Bud long necks, order in a pile of BBQ ribs and talk about the upcoming 2021 college football season, well, that and women.

Anybody else want to join us for a couple drinks and/or a rib or two?

Greetings and a big 'What's up?' to all.

Michelle, it is a goodness to have you and your legendary behind back behind the bar.

Carl, a day without you around this honky-tonk is like a day without rutabagas.
James, that was a most spirited self-defense. While neither impressive nor convincing, it was sorta entertaining. ;)


Gonna grab me some of Big Bertha's ambrosia and a batch of goodies, then join Coma and Tose in a discussion of Baylor's beat down of previously undefeated Gonzaga in the men's Final Four college championship basketball game. Anybody out there need a drink?

.

Welcome to this den of deviant depravity, Caramel. Glad you stopped in. Pimping stories is a major life style around here, just be sure to include a link to the story (some folks have the sig line turned off).

I wouldn't sweat your entry's view and vote total. By Lush contest standards, we have a long way to go before a lot of folks panic and start hurrying to beat the deadline. Compounding your situation was the Easter holiday weekend. Things got so slow in here we actually began talking about editing our stories, honest.

Stop by whenever you get in the mood. Most of this crowd claims to have been housebroken, and probably are -- most of the time) Soak up all the ambiance you can tolerate an. Rumore has it, some cyber beverages both alc holic and otherwise or consumed on these premises. and non.

And speaking of drinks, what in the name of Terry Southern do you literary lay-abouts wanna drink?

Greetings to all who enter, especially those who discover this ain't the local Christian Science reading room, then sigh in relief and decide to stay.

Now that Easter has come in gone, it's time to start trying to come up with a contest entry that's both sexy and funny or at least mildly amusing.

It is a major goodness to have Tonya check in, and not just because she came in bearing goodies.

Gonna grab me some of dem goodies and a mug full of the blessed brew Big Bertha and Curvy have provided for we who prefer java. The tea kettle is also available for duty. And don't forget the bar's universally disparaged lineup of bad beers, worse wines but saved from infamy by our ever popular fine lickers. So whadd ya wanna drink?

Greetings to all. For the benefit of those who showed up late and then didn't check out Curvy's post, here is a re-re-post copied from Carlton's St. James Infirmery Blues. ;)

curvygalore wrote:
Someone recommended a free app, Natural Readers, that reads your story back to you out loud. Blimmin' brilliant! It's now part of my editing kit.

Those words of wisdom reminded me of another possible addition to a writer's editing kit -- A word frequency checker. Most word processors let you find out how often a designated word appears, . That's good, but even better would be a program that gives a count on all the words appearing in a story, chapter, paragraph, etc. Another plus would be the program being able to spot short repetitious phrases.

At the moment, all I have is a very old word frequency counter and the spell check feature in Word, but something tells me someone among the Rumplations writing rabble will reveal one to the rest of us. If not, then it's 'seek and ye shall find' time in the land of Lush.

So who wants a drink?

Youse guys (you know who you are) pay attention to Kimmi and her musings on editing.

Me, I have three editing tips to pass along from back in the days when my vision was somewhere between 'hard of seeing and hardly seeing at all. In no particular order:

1. Either you or some other poor sucker should read your story OUT LOUD. If that's more than you can handle, rig up some sort of a text to speech feature in your word processor.

2 & 3. Increase your story's font size and possibly the font type. then read, once again, your words of wit an wisdom, it'll make what your scanning look much different which helps spotting mistakes. -- Oh, yeah, don't forget to return your story to it's original size and shape before submitting. I'm told those mods can get feisty.

Sarah, you and Seeker ready for refill on those 'Tailgaters'? Anybody else out there need something wet and satisfying?

Buz, he wrote: Saturdays are for ice cold beer, and Kentucky bourbons.

Me, I noted: Based on rumors of your past performances, so are the other six days of the week. But that's just rumor(s) you understand. ;)

Her Royal Spriteness proclaimed: ...we frown on shooting your sex partner in the middle of... whatever it is they're doing.

Me, I huffed: Spoil sport. :(

Anybody bring in any sort of goodies? Kinda wanted to sit out on the balmy back porch/beer garden before the predicted high temp of 95f (35c) takes over.

Any body out there in need of a drink or two?

Greetings and welcome to the dirtiest, den of depravity in all of Lushland. Well, somebody or something had to be first.

Scott Two, how do you do? Always a goodness when you show up. Let me get the coffee cranking (up and at 'em, Big Bertha) and get the tea kettle kettling then grab one or the other and come join Coma and Tose and me in a debate over where baseball should move the All-Star game and/or where they actually will.

Anybody else come dragging up in need of a drink?

Greetings to all. James, your efforts are much appreciated. (more to come after the coffee has been checked out)

Baseball-wise, yesterday was not a good one for your beloved blind barkeep. The Yankees lost to Toronto in extra innings while my hometown club, the Diamondbacks came up short to the Padres. Meanwhile, My LSU Tigers lost to visiting Vanderbilt, 13-1 That's bad enough, but today's starting Vandy pitcher is supposed to be even better. (sigh)

Don't fret over the small crowd, James. Between the opening of major league baseball, both the men's and women's Final Four in college basketball and this being the Easter weekend. a lot of Rumplators will be otherwise occupied.

Time to test the taste of today's version of coffee-ala-James. (sips, then swigs) You know, this stuff ain't half bad. Give it a try and be sure to let Big Berth's partner is coffee concoction know what you think.

Canada rules!

Just so y'all know, on this, the opening day of major league baseball, the homeless Toronto Blue Jays traveled to the Big Apple and beast the NY Yankees 3-2 in extra innings.

Me, I'm gonna enter this here new Lush contest. Hell, somebodies gotta finish in last place. ;)

I've read two of the four 'strange but not true' stories by certain talented female-type Rumplators. Now it on to finish the dirty, if desirable, deed. ;)

Anybody want a drink? In case the drinks menu has slipped your addlepated brain, it is: Big Bertha's classic coffee, 100% wet hot water for tea and/or hot chocolate, belching beers, whining wines, and our always popular, fine lickers. So whadda ya wandering while wondering (or vice versa) wordsmiths wanna drink?

brain

The old-fashioned but always reliable travel alarm clock woke  Sarah Morris on schedule. She immediately double-checked the time with her wristwatch, then stretched and looked over at her fiance, Frankie Deangelo still sleeping soundly beside her. They had been dating since the summer before her senior year in high school. While their ‘make-out’ sessions back then had quickly reached the...

Added 27 Apr 2020 | Category Teen | Votes 30 | Avg Score 4.89 | Views 2,101 | 29 Comments

  Is this how it felt to be in love? Renee didn’t know. An unapologetic ‘party girl’, she had been after ‘nice guy’ Jerry all summer, but mainly for his family’s money and status. Rowdy had always been her favorite playmate, and she hadn’t planned to give him up even if she did hook Jerry. But then came last night. Jerry had been so worn-out from his summer job it was almost funny. But a...

Added 03 May 2019 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 10 | Avg Score 5 | Views 1,079 | 6 Comments

Newly polished toenails safely propped on the crowded coffee table, Darlene Barnes let out a long plume of cigarette smoke and waited for her friend to come back from the kitchen. Waiting in silence, however, had never been her 'thing'. The thirty-something bottled-blonde looked around at the empty doorway to the kitchen. "You know it's hard for me to believe you're this messed-up....

Added 23 Apr 2019 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 34 | Avg Score 4.72 | Views 1,842 | 30 Comments

The blizzard of white flakes kept coming in a staccato stream of flurries so thick the young girl on the balcony could barely make out the quaint town nestled below. Her almost dainty smile made it clear she didn’t mind. Affter all, the storm proved she had accomplished at least part of her mission. With one last quick glance at her map to make sure everything was sill on course, she looked...

Added 29 Dec 2018 | Category Swingers | Votes 21 | Avg Score 4.95 | Views 7,585 | 19 Comments

  Tawny and I had been so hot for each other, by the time the door to Rumplations stock room banged shut, we were already into an old-fashioned missionary-style fuck with her hunching up to meet me every time I hammered down into that prime pussy.   We fucked with an unrestrained, almost savage passion. I gave her no mercy, and she asked for none. Grunting, panting, we slammed into...

Added 30 Aug 2018 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 23 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,153 | 23 Comments

"It's just not fair."  From the tone of her friend's voice, Claire Davis knew Jan was only half-joking. "What's not fair?" They were in Claire's cramped, one-person dorm room, preparing tuna fish au gratin on rye toast for supper.  "It's not fair that you actually met a good-looking single guy under ninety on that geriatric unit disguised as an ophthalmology ward." Jan was in the midst...

Added 02 Oct 2018 | Category Reluctance | Votes 10 | Avg Score 5 | Views 19,969 | 8 Comments

Craig Hardin lay on the old, overstuffed couch in his cousin's apartment pretending to be asleep. In fact, he'd been wide-awake ever since someone padded into the dark living room, knelt beside the couch, and cautiously slipped soft fingers inside his boxers. It had to be his cousin, Robin Stuart. After all, it was her apartment and they were alone. But what the hell was all this about?...

Added 23 Jul 2018 | Category Taboo | Votes 26 | Avg Score 5 | Views 20,320 | 20 Comments

The nice, young, married, nurse had never made love at work, or with a black man, or been unfaithful to her husband, but all that had changed. Terri Cummings was doing all three at once and loving every illicit, carnal first-time moment. Waves of ecstasy surged through her writhing body as the powerfully built man between her widespread legs hammered his demanding cock in and out of her...

Added 09 Jan 2018 | Category Uniform | Votes 25 | Avg Score 4.78 | Views 9,663 | 22 Comments

Kelly Layton glanced out at the dreary, post-blizzard landscape. Just looking at it made her feel cold. That alone would have been enough to keep her indoors, but she had one more special reason. A sudden wave of ecstasy rippled across her nude body and she quivered with delight. Moving her gaze away from the outside world, she smiled and watched the familiar blonde head bobbing between...

Added 09 Dec 2017 | Category Taboo | Votes 9 | Avg Score 4.89 | Views 9,377 | 6 Comments

  The dream had returned--so had the eyes. They hovered in an angry sky just above the horizon, seeing everything but focusing on nothing. Amy knew those eyes—knew a time when they’d been filled with happiness and a love of life. But that had been before her brother came back from Vietnam. Young, naked, and skinny, she stood alone and vulnerable on a hill surrounded by flames where...

Added 02 Oct 2017 | Category Love Stories | Votes 26 | Avg Score 5 | Views 10,767 | 27 Comments