About RumpleForeskin

Biography

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Name:
Rumple Foreskin
Sex:
Male 
Age:
70
Sign:
Pisces
Relationship Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Location:
Lost in the desert west of Apache Junction, USA , Arizona, United States
Local Time:
24 May 2017 03:31
Interests:
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Website:

Statistics

Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
23 May 2017 (5 hours ago)
Page Viewed:
27,263 times
Friends:
64
Followers:
72
Days in Chat:
0
Days on Site:
30+
Forum Posts:
3,782
Stories:
32
Badges:
16

Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 23 May 2017 22:15

Evening, Ms Elizabeth. You can have anything you want around here. Of course there may be a delay in you getting served if Tawny has to run down to the local liquor store and convince her cousin, Leroy, night manager, stock clerk and security chief, to swap a bottle of what ya want for what it is Tawny has and Leroy wants.

Reg, that term 'favorite' brings out the nit-picker in me. Going on the theory that 'favorite' equals 'most interesting' my first pick would be 'Bonnie and Clyde'. Why, because they are, without a doubt, the most interesting couple to ever stop off in my hometown. (Clyde went into a bar to get drinks. Bonnie stayed out in the car with a Thompson in her lap). I'm sure the Right Rev oLush would find 'Sampson and Delilah' far more interesting.

BTW, think ya ordered a beer. If not, drink this anyway, then order what ya want. Any more orders?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">.

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 23 May 2017 15:20

App! That must have been one helluva good weekend. Here's your JD and Coke and I've got another one for you, Seeker. But like I've mentioned before, there are those of us who prefer 'Old Charter' with Coke. It's a bit bolder, rougher, has more character etc. and tends to hold its own better when added to Coke. Y'all might want to remember that when ordering your refills.

Got mugs of hot coffee and hot tea for Laura and BC. You two can fight over who gets what...but the other customers get to watch...no sneaking off into the stock room...house rules, you understand.

Anybody else got a thirst they need to quench? (he asks, using his word-of-the-day)

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 23 May 2017 09:04

Greetings scribblers and readers of high-literature and smut.

Reg gets a free shot of BBB in his coffee for being the first to break down and ask about 'Net Ball'.

IDK (in this case: I Do Know) the meaning of life, its consequences and inevitabilities...but I ain't telling.

It's supposed to hit 105 here in the desert (that's 40.6 c), and to think it's still a month until the official start of summer. Something tells me that hot drinks are not going to be a big mover today, at least not this side of the equator.

But be of good cheer. There's an abundance of Bertha's Best available now and the ice maker is in great shape. So whadda ya want?

:gglasses8:

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 22 May 2017 20:57

Cold beer coming up for Mike and Buz. For Reg, our finest cocktail consisting of Old Charter, Coke, and a lemon twist. Verbal, you're getting about the same except it's on the rocks and sans the soda.

Mike, have you put in any more cogitation time on your next 'lottery'? Buz, sorry about the workload. Having a long reading cue while being a story verifying type mod must be areal chore at times. Jeff and Reg, hope those drinks do unto y'all what y'all want done...or something sort of like that.

The party's not over but I'm hearing Willie Nelson warming up for, "Turn Out The Lights, The Party's Over" so ya better get your orders in while the getting's good.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 22 May 2017 16:46

The last bottle of Shiners is now standing at attention on the bar in front of Scott, eager to be of service. Meanwhile, a double-shot of JD on the rocks for Buz, our would-be Shriner-Basher'.

Scott, be sure to let us know when that new story hits the presses, or internet, as is usually the case these days. (sigh)

For Buz and Jeff, the good news is their favorite baseball teams, Braves and Mets, are tied for second place in the National League East. The bad news is they are something like 7.5 games behind the front running, Washington Nationals. Hang in their guys. It's a long season. Besides, things could be worse, y'all could b fans of the Phillies, Marlins, or Padres.

Another slow Monday. Might be a good time to run a little inventory with Tawny in the stock room. Any orders before I start dealing with that messy chore?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 22 May 2017 07:36

Greetings, to all Lushlanders, no matter where you may roam...or type.

Scalding hot tea for BC.
Scalding hot coffee for Reg.
Orange Juice enhanced with Verisimilitude Vodka for the afflicted Phil.
Think (sorta) I'll wait on filling the orders of Verbal and Laura until we can determine what kinda shape they're in. Thanks to 'Big Bertha' there'll be plenty of her goodies to enjoy is that's what they need.

My thanks to Jen, for forwarding my pm on to Gav. Not sure how in hell I managed to accidentally send it to her but when it comes to computing, I tend to work in strange and mysterious ways.

Anybody else come draggin in needing something to get them going?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 May 2017 21:13

Milik, here's your coffee. Be warned it's been cooking all day so you might want to take along a knife and fork to help finishing it off.

Laura, didn't know about the UK/US difference in math and maths. The latter strikes me as more logical since there are several 'maths' such as: algebra, calculus, and advanced income tax fiddling.

Reg, here's your Shiner Bock. Mike, let's you and me work on the Bud 'long-neckers'. Laura, would a nice New Zealland girl sink to drinking an American beer?

Damn good pig skins. Any more last orders?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 May 2017 17:47

Evening, Mike. Thanks for the info.. I decided to pass my question along to Gav just so he knows we still care enough to bug him.

What about an ice-cold Bud in a long neck bottle? If that doesn't float your boat, there's a few bottles of Shiner Bock, imported all the way from Shiner, Texas, available. Open a new bag of fried pig skins and I'll join you.

Any more orders before some serious end of the weekend drinking kicks off?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 May 2017 17:05

(slides over a tall lemonade) Sorry you had a rough weekend, BC. Just proves that life can sometimes be tough even for the young, gifted and good looking. ;)

Tech-type question: Sometimes, at least on my 'puter, posts with audio version will not have the complete text of the story. The word count accurately reflects this oddity. Here's one example currently on the main page.

The new story by, EroticLushinLace, "She'll Cum Around" has a word count of, 24.

Don't know if this happens to other Lushers or its a weirdness due to my screen reader I'm about to repost this on 'Site Announcements' but wondered if anybody here had a thought or two.

Meanwhile, there's plenty of quality hooch just waiting to be ordered. So what'll it be?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">.

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 May 2017 15:04

Mega-congrats, Milik. That's one hell of an accomplishment. I'll just add Tanya's 'stiff drink' to your already 'infamous' tab. ;)

Anyone ready to take Milik up on his generous offer?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

back to top

Stories Published By RumpleForeskin All Stories »

Adieu, Alan

His candle burned at both ends, It could not last the night.   But readers and friends all agree, It gave such a marvelous...

Added 26 Mar 2017 | Category Love Poems | Votes 31 | Avg Score 4.86 | Views 407 | 29 Comments

Served Just Right

  They were young, restless, and bored beyond depression. The two nursing students had been in Gwen’s cramped, single-person, dorm room since coming back from supper, smoking and joking, talking about school, men, and life while playing Beatles LP’s, keeping the incense burner going, and steadily draining the bottle of bourbon Mark had left, "for safe keeping," before flying home for a...

Added 09 Feb 2017 | Category Lesbian | Votes 13 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 6,352 | 9 Comments

A Parting Gift To Remember

From her position draped over the back of an old, stuffed armchair, Lynn felt the fresh load of cum oozing out of her throbbing pussy, working its way through matted pubic hairs, then sliding down trembling inner thighs until it dripped onto the floor.  The thick cream felt cool on her hot, flushed, skin.  With Bob’s help, she struggled to her feet, turned around and hugged him. It had been...

Added 23 Dec 2016 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 21 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,489 | 17 Comments

What Are Friends For?

She blew in like a pissed off F5 tornado, shouted, "Don't say a fucking thing,” slammed the door shut,and slung her purse across the room. It ricocheted away from my butt-weary couch, cleared off the end table, then teetered briefly at the edge before following the displaced debris onto the floor. Only the reading lamp survived, leaning drunkenly against the wall, shade tilted at a...

Added 20 Aug 2016 | Category Love Stories | Votes 15 | Avg Score 5 | Views 3,822 | 13 Comments

Afternoon Aftermath

For Cindy Davis, it had been a weekend of unbelievable firsts. She had just spent two nights in a mid-town hotel room making almost constant love with Ray, a man she barely knew. Of course, it had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, no doubt about that. He’d been alone, a long way from home and had needed her. Still, it marked the first time she’d ever cheated on her fiance', which...

Added 21 Apr 2016 | Category Reluctance | Votes 17 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 9,979 | 10 Comments

Treats First then the Trick

It was a fantastic fuck. Randi Druitt's sex-charged body writhed and shuddered. A large, powerfully built man lay between her widespread legs. With deep, fluid strokes, he pumped his demanding cock in and out of her very willing pussy. Each thrust left her gasping with passion and wanting more. The freckle-faced redhead lay nude on the backseat of an old Buick, parked on the far side of a...

Added 21 Oct 2015 | Category Cheating | Votes 11 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,912 | 7 Comments

Recommended Read Getting A Lot Of What She Wants

The thick, glistening shaft slipped from Cindy’s mouth like a long, sexy serpent. When the swollen cockhead came into view, she lapped at its smooth surface while glancing up at her husband. Ray’s big, nude body was sprawled comfortably on their living room couch. Curly blonde hair cushioned his head against the wall. Those blue eyes she adored so much were shut. His lips were parted. It...

Added 28 Sep 2015 | Category Fetish | Votes 15 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,247 | 17 Comments

Of Love and War and Donna Lynn

It was another turbulent day in the summer of 68. Student protests raged from the Sorbonne to Berkeley. In the US, civil rights demonstrations and anti-war rallies were turning violent. Martin Luther King was dead; Bobby Kennedy would be soon. In South Vietnam, hundreds of other Americans were being killed each month. Soldiers patrolled the streets of Saigon, Paris, and Washington while...

Added 31 Aug 2015 | Category Historical | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.83 | Views 1,941 | 17 Comments

A Different Sort of Cramming

Textbooks and study notes showered down from the bouncing mattress of a venerable four-poster bed as a long, thick, column of rigid flesh kept up a steady rhythm of lust and need, surging back and forth past stretched, slightly irritated pussy lips that clutch tightly around the unyielding shaft relentlessly cramming its engorged cock head into the inner most depths of a wet, stuffed...

Added 27 Aug 2015 | Category Quickie Sex | Votes 7 | Avg Score 5 | Views 8,302 | 5 Comments

Feels So Right It Can’t Be Wrong: chapter 3

Kelly woke in her stepbrother’s bed cuddled next to his nude body. The sheet barely covered his morning erection. She thought about teasing him awake, it struck her as the big-sisterly thing to do, but then rolled onto her back, stretched, and immediately dozed off and slipped into yet another rerun of her dreams. Like most of those she’d had recently, they involved sex. Unlike the...

Added 30 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 16 | Avg Score 5 | Views 22,341 | 9 Comments

Image Gallery

4 Images

Video Gallery

6 Videos

Friends Comments


Buz
Posted: 19 May 2017 21:13

browncoffee
Posted: 27 Apr 2017 06:23

elizabethblack
Posted: 15 Apr 2017 21:08
Love Bessie Smith - thanks for the reminder

Simmerdownchick
Posted: 13 Apr 2017 22:49



Simmerdownchick
Posted: 27 Mar 2017 17:36
Lilly
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 16:42

biggym
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 03:10
Happy Happy Birthday!!! Know it will be a naughty fun day. Stay naked and hard. Enjoy and smile.
Lush
Posted: 17 Mar 2017 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.
Lydia_
Posted: 16 Mar 2017 17:26

Milik_the_Red
Posted: 05 Mar 2017 17:11

Simmerdownchick
Posted: 03 Mar 2017 22:58






Simmerdownchick
Posted: 02 Mar 2017 19:13
Thanks for accepting my friend request~

Simmerdownchick
Posted: 02 Mar 2017 19:12


browncoffee
Posted: 02 Mar 2017 01:13

Buz
Posted: 28 Feb 2017 12:30
Bill, I'm dropping a few bottles of Southern Comfort off to celebrate with you. It seems some of us southern gentleman are appreciated. Congratulations!


browncoffee
Posted: 01 Feb 2017 13:53

HeraTeleia
Posted: 09 Jan 2017 20:52
Thank you for the add, love!


Milik_the_Red
Posted: 31 Dec 2016 13:30

Buz
Posted: 23 Dec 2016 14:50
Merry Christmas, Rumpy!


ChuckEPoo
Posted: 05 Oct 2016 10:59
Thanks for adding me.
back to top
 


Attach a note to this member, which only you can see.

Tell us why

Please tell us why you think this profile page is inappropriate.

Reason