About RumpleForeskin

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Rumple Foreskin
Relationship Status:
Lost in the desert out west of Apache Junction, Arizona, United States
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
24 Oct 2016 (8 hours ago)
Page Viewed:
25,428 times
Days in Chat:
Days on Site:
Forum Posts:
Latest Forum Posts
Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 24 Oct 2016 17:20

Greetings, grumblers in the groves of Lush. It's Monday, so I'll cut youse guys some slack. But Seeker, for you and Laura to bad-mouth Rumplations' house red wine hurst me to the quick. Now pardon me while I put this bottle of 'Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill wine back in the chiller and dig out the box of industrial strength 'Merlot' left over from the last, Wino Weekend Wine Tasting and Chili Cookoff.

Verbal, sorry to say but I ain't got no booze to make any of us mo' better writers. But drink enough of this Merlot and you won't really care.

BTW, not unlike a broken watch, Verbal and Seeker are sometimes correct. Michelle Pfeiffer is one of those classy hottie types it's hard not to like...and even harder if you do...in a manner of speaking.

Okay, anyone else want a real drink or just more of this wanky wine?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 23 Oct 2016 16:56

Business has been a tad slow this weekend, well, except for Tanya's stock room carnal carnival. Me, I've been cogitation on Madonna's generous offer (see prior post) and it occurred to me that the old 'Parrot head' Jimmy Buffett has the most profound thoughts on this subject.

Just push 'X & 69' on the old Rock-O-La' or click on this link to hear his profound wisdom. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAz0FR4fySc

Just so happens there's a one-for-the-price-of-two special on pitchers of 'Busty Bavarian Beer'.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 20 Oct 2016 13:18

Greetings, Lushland lovers and loved.

Man and boy, do I ever have a great offer for us guy-type would-be voters. This generous offer comes (so to speak) thanks to that great American... Madonna.

According to a report in, 'The Hill', Ms Madonna is quoted as saying to an audience at Madison Square Garden,

“If you vote for Hillary Clinton, I will give you a blow job.”

Now that's what I call a real political payoff!

BTW, I'm wondering what would be a suitably comparative offer for the female-type ladies of Rumplations?

This calls for some serious thinking and drinking. So what'll y'all have?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 19 Oct 2016 13:59

Gil, you might want to try an 'Oblivion'. Like I told Verbal, it's not quite as potent as my 2nd cousin's, Big A-Tonic Blast' but it does come with a double-shot of 151 proof rum for a chaser.

Ashward, welcome to the seediest blight on the Lush landscape. Make yourself at home. Most of the regulars have had their shots and claim to be housebroken.

So what'll you have to drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 19 Oct 2016 11:44

Verbal, hate to hear 'Shards' has gone into past tense mode. Hope you'll consider putting them together as sort of an erotic 'Chap Book'.

Now about that drink. You're saying you want something strong enough to endure both a Cubs' loss and 90 minutes of Donald Trump? Dam son, you'd have a better chance by checking out the 'Big A-tonic Blaster' at my 2nd cousin's place, the Oak Ridge (TN) 24/7 Bar, Grill and Convent Store. (Little Sheila never could spell worth a lick...though she most definitely was.)

Still, I can whip up an "oblivion' just for you. Not gonna say just exactly what's in it, but the chaser is a double-shot of 151 proof rum. Want to give it a try?

Anybody else want some 'Oblivion'?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 19 Oct 2016 09:45

Greetings to all who search for truth, enlightenment and cheap drinks.

Gil, just for you and to celebrate your latest Lush poem, what about a 'Rumplation's Mickey Finn Special'?

Jennifer, just so happens there's about half a bottle left of world renowned, 'Safeway Brand Scotch'. You want a double?

Seeker, I wonder if drinking 'Blithering Buzzard Bourbon' more than one time would constitute a 'Fetish'?

Nice to know so many Rumplators are giving the current contest a try. Even your beloved barkeep (that's me, in case you were wondering) is tinkering with a story adapted from a scene in my unpublished naughty novel.

Any more orders?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 17 Oct 2016 19:34

Greetings, y'all. It's all my fault. I gave Tanya a bottle of 'Two-Buck Chuck' wine for her birthday. Well, she got all excited and started going around telling everyone how much she liked 'Two-Buck, Chuck'. The only problem is she has this small speech impediment that makes her 'Ch' sound like an 'F'. Well, you can imagine the confusion and the crowd attracted by her announcement. Anyway, I've had to screen off a corner in the back of the supply room for her, uh, celebration. BTW, she seems down-right grateful for all those two-dollar bills. And since I'm charging each party goer $20.00 for admission into the supply room, I don't mind one little bit.

BTW, ChuckEPoo (aka, Mr. Hot Wife for You) has just posted the fourth installment in his, "Undercovers Detective" crime drama/sex romp. It stands alone if you don't have the time to start at chapter one and earned an, RR. Check it out at:


Also and in addition, Verbal has set aside his 'long form' labors long enough to give us a new, Shards, flash fiction epic. Check it out at:


So what do you deadbeats want to drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 15 Oct 2016 15:17

WARNING - ALERT - PANIC! (in fact, a whole bunch of dem ! things)

Read it and be afraid, very afraid.


AP - More than 200 union workers walked off their jobs at Beam distilleries at Clermont and Boston in Kentucky after voting Friday to reject the latest contract offer from the world's leading bourbon producer. As the old contract expired, Beam said its contingency plans would keep operations running to maintain the flow of whiskey to distributors and consumers.


I'm only glad no one here can afford 'Jim Beam' and that there's a good supply of, 'Blithering Buzzard Bourbon' to go around...and at a no more than nominal hike in the price.

So belly up to the bar and let your money be seen.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 14 Oct 2016 13:38

Evening, y'all. Gil, what about a lithium enhanced 7-Up with three umbrellas in calming colors?

Buz, I'll be glad in invest in your trip south.

Verbal, I've only gone to one Dylan concert. It was his tour with Paul Simon over ten years ago in Dallas. I swear it was an almost religious experience.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 14 Oct 2016 12:02

Greetings, to all who wander in seeking peace and enlightenment and leave staggering drunk and dead broke.

In the opinion of me, life is good. First Dylan wins the Nobel prize for literature and then, as if to celebrate that great event, this hits the newswires:


AP - MIAMI — Attention U.S. travelers going abroad: You now can bring home all the Cuban rum and cigars you want.

The Obama administration announced Friday a new round of executive actions designed to increase trade and travel with the communist island. And this is the one many Americans have been waiting for — no more restrictions on the island's famed rum and cigars.

Under the new rules, which go into effect Monday, travelers can purchase unlimited quantities of Cuban rum and cigars in any country where they are sold so long as they are for personal consumption. Sorry American couch potatoes: You can't order Cuban rum and cigars online and have them shipped to your home.


So I say, light 'em up if you got 'em and we'll drink to that.

Okay, now who is going to contribute the first bottle of Cuban rum and box of cigars to the party?

ps: Thanks for all the Dylan links. And Seeker, thanks also for the tip about the Dylan thread.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

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Stories Published By RumpleForeskin
What Are Friends For?

She blew in like a pissed off F5 tornado, shouted, "Don't say a fucking thing,” slammed the door shut,and slung her purse across the room. It ricocheted away from my butt-weary couch, cleared off the end table, then teetered briefly at the edge before following the displaced debris onto the floor. Only the reading lamp survived, leaning drunkenly against the wall, shade tilted at a...

Added 20 Aug 2016 | Category Love Stories | Votes 13 | Avg Score 5 | Views 2,932 | 11 Comments

Afternoon Aftermath

For Cindy Davis, it had been a weekend of unbelievable firsts. She had just spent two nights in a mid-town hotel room making almost constant love with Ray, a man she barely knew. Of course, it had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, no doubt about that. He’d been alone, a long way from home and had needed her. Still, it marked the first time she’d ever cheated on her fiance', which...

Added 21 Apr 2016 | Category Reluctance | Votes 16 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 8,761 | 9 Comments

Treats First then the Trick

It was a fantastic fuck. Randi Druitt's sex-charged body writhed and shuddered. A large, powerfully built man lay between her widespread legs. With deep, fluid strokes, he pumped his demanding cock in and out of her very willing pussy. Each thrust left her gasping with passion and wanting more. The freckle-faced redhead lay nude on the backseat of an old Buick, parked on the far side of a...

Added 21 Oct 2015 | Category Cheating | Votes 11 | Avg Score 5 | Views 6,501 | 7 Comments

Recommended Read Getting A Lot Of What She Wants

The thick, glistening shaft slipped from Cindy’s mouth like a long, sexy serpent. When the swollen cockhead came into view, she lapped at its smooth surface while glancing up at her husband. Ray’s big, nude body was sprawled comfortably on their living room couch. Curly blonde hair cushioned his head against the wall. Those blue eyes she adored so much were shut. His lips were parted. It...

Added 28 Sep 2015 | Category Fetish | Votes 14 | Avg Score 5 | Views 5,625 | 15 Comments

Of Love and War and Donna Lynn

It was another turbulent day in the summer of 68. Student protests raged from the Sorbonne to Berkeley. In the US, civil rights demonstrations and anti-war rallies were turning violent. Martin Luther King was dead; Bobby Kennedy would be soon. In South Vietnam, hundreds of other Americans were being killed each month. Soldiers patrolled the streets of Saigon, Paris, and Washington while...

Added 31 Aug 2015 | Category Historical | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.83 | Views 1,611 | 17 Comments

A Different Sort of Cramming

Textbooks and study notes showered down from the bouncing mattress of a venerable four-poster bed as a long, thick, column of rigid flesh kept up a steady rhythm of lust and need, surging back and forth past stretched, slightly irritated pussy lips that clutch tightly around the unyielding shaft relentlessly cramming its engorged cock head into the inner most depths of a wet, stuffed...

Added 27 Aug 2015 | Category Quickie Sex | Votes 8 | Avg Score 5 | Views 7,926 | 6 Comments

Feels So Right It Can’t Be Wrong: chapter 3

Kelly woke in her stepbrother’s bed cuddled next to his nude body. The sheet barely covered his morning erection. She thought about teasing him awake, it struck her as the big-sisterly thing to do, but then rolled onto her back, stretched, and immediately dozed off and slipped into yet another rerun of her dreams. Like most of those she’d had recently, they involved sex. Unlike the...

Added 30 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 17 | Avg Score 5 | Views 21,631 | 9 Comments

Feels So Right, It Can’t Be Wrong: Chapter 2

After a lot of poking, prodding, and teasing, the stepsiblings managed to disentangle and get off Jason’s bed. Before he could pull Kelly out of the room, however, she noticed the sheets. “Whoa. Halt. Stop. Sorry, but those sheets have got to go.” Jason protested but she remained adamant as only a somewhat fastidious big sister can be and began stripping the bed. Perhaps it was seeing her...

Added 27 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 13 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 21,228 | 6 Comments

Feels So Right, It Can’t Be Wrong: Chapter 1

Horny, nervous, and half-naked, Kelly Layton peeked through the open bedroom door. Inside, her kid brother, make that her kid stepbrother, lay stretched out on his unmade bed, reading a paperback. But he’s no kid, thought Kelly. Not anymore. Though still just eighteen, with his athletic build, dark hair, eyes the same steel-gray as his father’s, and a smile that could get him laid in...

Added 25 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 21 | Avg Score 5 | Views 41,177 | 7 Comments


The old-style Checker cab inched away from the congested airport loading zone,then pulled out into the cold, rainy January evening and headed for a downtown hotel. Inside, Gwen studied Mark's face. For all she knew, he might have found someone special while back home. Hesitantly, even shyly, she asked, "Did you miss me?” Mark nodded, "You were all I could think about on the flight up....

Added 30 Mar 2014 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 19 | Avg Score 4.74 | Views 4,862 | 14 Comments

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Friends Comments
Friends Comments

Posted: 05 Oct 2016 10:59
Thanks for adding me.
Posted: 05 Oct 2016 09:50
Just saw this and knew you had to have it:

Posted: 26 Aug 2016 17:33
Posted: 02 Jul 2016 20:08

Posted: 31 May 2016 14:47
Your honky tonk can use an upgrade, chief...

Posted: 13 May 2016 15:03
I never thought of making them into necklaces. I'll have to give it a try.
Posted: 16 Apr 2016 20:44

Posted: 09 Apr 2016 17:41
Waiting for my drink and more umbrellas.

Posted: 26 Mar 2016 22:43
Posted: 26 Mar 2016 20:29
Happy Easter and Congratulations, but keep those tears dried away

Posted: 25 Mar 2016 21:29
I'm pretty sure she'd win the contest. I'll just keep drinking.

Posted: 21 Mar 2016 17:02
Can't decide if I should go out back to the dumpster. I think I'll drink inside for awhile.
Posted: 17 Mar 2016 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.

Posted: 16 Mar 2016 17:13
Happy Happy Birthday!!! Know it will be a naughty day. Stay naked and hard. Enjoy.

Posted: 02 Mar 2016 20:16
Posted: 14 Feb 2016 19:37
Have a great Valentine weekend

Posted: 23 Dec 2015 16:06
Merry Christmas, Rumpy!

Posted: 07 Dec 2015 20:28

Posted: 31 Oct 2015 08:13

Posted: 14 Sep 2015 19:20
Thank you for celebrating my birthday with me.

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