About RumpleForeskin

Biography

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Name:
Rumple Foreskin
Sex:
Male 
Age:
70
Sign:
Pisces
Relationship Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Location:
Lost in the desert west of Tombstone, AZ , Arizona, United States
Local Time:
22 Jan 2018 12:39
Interests:
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Website:

Statistics

Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
22 Jan 2018 (38 minutes ago)
Page Viewed:
30,004 times
Friends:
77
Followers:
78
Days in Chat:
0
Days on Site:
30+
Forum Posts:
4,493
Stories:
36
Badges:
16

Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 22 Jan 2018 08:25

Here's your coffee, Jeff. Looking forward to some of your gloom and dark despair.

any more orders, besides, "Shut the fuck up!"

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 22 Jan 2018 06:11

And a mellow Monday to all who enter.

Scott, believe you wanted a mug of Big Bertha's best brew fortified with a dose of BBB. Gotcha. Thanks to Sara in her role as 'Angel in the AM' everyone else seems to have their needs satiated, at least temporarily.

Pat, you ready for a refill on that Jen's Jolter Sara whipped up for you. BTW, word has it her eyebrows will be back, sooner or later. I've warned everyone that heating up flammable, 151 proof rum should be done slowly and very carefully. Live and learn. ;)

Tanya, hate that life is giving you such a hard time. Take care of yourself.

Anybody else need something before the site performs it usual crash?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 Jan 2018 15:43

Congrats and a Jen's Jolter to Tanya for her Pats come from behind win over the Jags.

Currrvy, you didn't order, but a beer is often your elixir of choice, so here goes.

Pat, you and KindofHeart sound like two guys who would benefit from joining Tanya in downing a Jen's Jolter or two.

Scott, what about three fingers of Old Bear Hugger whiskey? Haven't tried it myself, but so far no one who has tried it has filed a lawsuit over the experience so it's probably better than our bar brand.

Sara, not only are you getting a mug of hot chocolate, its dang near buried under a mess of mini marshmallows.

Any more orders for something to wet your whistle? Though why anyone would want a wet whistle has always puzzled me.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 Jan 2018 11:01

Afternoon, evening, much later/earlier for everyone else not covered by those first two. I'm hearing calls for: coffee from Sara, the same for Larry but with a dash of fine whiskey, a Hannah for Tanya, and Lyf needs some rum. Would you prefer a hot rum toddy or a cool Cuban Libre'?

Any more wants of a fluid nature need assuaging?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 21 Jan 2018 08:31

Greetings to all who wander in wondering, 'Why', then after a couple beers (on, not in, Hannah) remember it was to use the latrine.

We're having a cold snap out here in the desert. Last night it almost hit freezing...honest. Probably sub-freezing up in Sara's mountains.

Contest-wise, we're down to single-digits in days before the deadline. Not meaning to stress out anyone, just saying...honest #2.

BTW, now I know y'all gotta pile of stories on your cue list two grown men couldn't shake hands over...but I strongly suggest you check out, Storm Dogs latest, part one of a bisexual two parter, 'A Rare Beauty'. After you finish, come on back, by a round for the house and then thank me for the suggestion.

And speaking of drinking, whadda ya scrofulous searchers for an honest bon mot or two wanna drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: Wrath
Posted: 21 Jan 2018 08:12

Buz, he wrote: hat makes me think of the Roth IRA (individual retirement account)


Me, I wrote: Being an old country boy, it reminds me of the hot, sweaty, worn-out horse that had been,, Wrath hard and put up wet.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 20 Jan 2018 11:12

Pat, glad to hear that positive report on your man-child. Hope this Jen's Jolter eases your stress level. I mean, any drink named after a 'Moderator of the Month' has just gotta be good for you. Right?

Who else needs something to ease their strain and/or get 'em going?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 20 Jan 2018 06:49

Welcome to all weary wanton weekend warriors.

Contest-wise, there are now 32 entries and ten days left to avoid the sting of Hannah's lash by getting your entry submitted.

Congrats to Jeff for finishing the rough draft of his inchoate entry.

Now a word about Ping's latest fiendish plan. Scroll up a bit and check out his latest--this one a diabolical scheme to do something or other with Rumplations' related micro-fiction (100 words or less) over on Story Space. I've already let him know that it's a goodness Rumplations cracked legal team from the law firm of Coma & Tose is too, well, comatose to read anything about his suggestion. Otherwise, a threatening 'cease and desist' letter would, probably, follow...maybe. ;)

Enough with all the business talk. Big Bertha is filled with her unique take on coffee and has plentry of hot water for the tea and coco crowd. Best I recall, there are about three calls for coffee awaiting fulfillment. Those hankering after a more robust drinking experience are directed to our selection of bleery beers, whiney wines, and our famous collection of fine lickers. So whadda ya escapees from the sane asylum wanna drink?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 19 Jan 2018 08:06

More coffee coming up. That nerve-shattering, crack of doom sound y'all may have heard was Hannah flexing her whip hand.

Jeff, slog on, scribe. Your faithful readership awaits, along with 'she who has the whip hand'.

Laura, welcome back. This joint ain't the same without you around

Anybody else out there wanna bug the hell out of the barkeep with more orders?. Sure hope so.

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 19 Jan 2018 05:51

Morning, Sara. Sounds to me like you could use a Jen's Jolter (a hot toddy with 151 proof rum) to ease you back into the land of nod. Here's hoping it helpss.

Any more needs this fine establishment can fulfill?

<img src="/forum/images/emoticons/glasses10.gif" alt="glasses8">

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Stories Published By RumpleForeskin All Stories »

Terri's Transformation

The nice, young, married, nurse had never made love at work, or with a black man, or been unfaithful to her husband, but all that had changed. Terri Cummings was doing all three at once and loving every illicit, carnal first-time moment. Waves of ecstasy surged through her writhing body as the powerfully built man between her widespread legs hammered his demanding cock in and out of her...

Added 09 Jan 2018 | Category Uniform

Feels So Right, It Can't Be Wrong: chapter 4

Kelly Layton glanced out at the dreary, post-blizzard landscape. Just looking at it made her feel cold. That alone would have been enough to keep her indoors, but she had one more special reason. A sudden wave of ecstasy rippled across her nude body and she quivered with delight. Moving her gaze away from the outside world, she smiled and watched the familiar blonde head bobbing between...

Added 09 Dec 2017 | Category Taboo | Votes 7 | Avg Score 4.86 | Views 4,216 | 5 Comments

Editor's Pick A Bookish Love Story

  The dream had returned--so had the eyes. They hovered in an angry sky just above the horizon, seeing everything but focusing on nothing. Amy knew those eyes—knew a time when they’d been filled with happiness and a love of life. But that had been before her brother came back from Vietnam. Young, naked, and skinny, she stood alone and vulnerable on a hill surrounded by flames where...

Added 02 Oct 2017 | Category Love Stories | Votes 25 | Avg Score 5 | Views 5,366 | 27 Comments

A Really Good Mood

With a spray of gravel, the ’66 Chevelle Super Sport sped away from the American Legion parking lot, raced down a narrow, blacktop access road, then slowed imperceptibly before making a tire-squealing right onto the main highway. The car quickly accelerated until it was speeding through the muggy, North Louisiana night. The cherry-red Chevy was always speeding — the only question being by...

Added 12 Jun 2017 | Category Seduction | Votes 21 | Avg Score 5 | Views 5,792 | 17 Comments

Adieu, Alan

His candle burned at both ends, It could not last the night.   But readers and friends all agree, It gave such a marvelous...

Added 26 Mar 2017 | Category Love Poems | Votes 30 | Avg Score 4.79 | Views 609 | 27 Comments

Served Just Right

  They were young, restless, and bored beyond depression. The two nursing students had been in Gwen’s cramped, single-person, dorm room since coming back from supper, smoking and joking, talking about school, men, and life while playing Beatles LP’s, keeping the incense burner going, and steadily draining the bottle of bourbon Mark had left, "for safe keeping," before flying home for a...

Added 09 Feb 2017 | Category Lesbian | Votes 12 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 7,467 | 7 Comments

A Parting Gift To Remember

From her position draped over the back of an old, stuffed armchair, Lynn felt the fresh load of cum oozing out of her throbbing pussy, working its way through matted pubic hairs, then sliding down trembling inner thighs until it dripped onto the floor.  The thick cream felt cool on her hot, flushed, skin.  With Bob’s help, she struggled to her feet, turned around and hugged him. It had been...

Added 23 Dec 2016 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.94 | Views 2,987 | 14 Comments

What Are Friends For?

She blew in like a pissed off F5 tornado, shouted, "Don't say a fucking thing,” slammed the door shut,and slung her purse across the room. It ricocheted away from my butt-weary couch, cleared off the end table, then teetered briefly at the edge before following the displaced debris onto the floor. Only the reading lamp survived, leaning drunkenly against the wall, shade tilted at a...

Added 20 Aug 2016 | Category Love Stories | Votes 14 | Avg Score 5 | Views 4,710 | 11 Comments

Afternoon Aftermath

For Cindy Davis, it had been a weekend of unbelievable firsts. She had just spent two nights in a mid-town hotel room making almost constant love with Ray, a man she barely knew. Of course, it had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience, no doubt about that. He’d been alone, a long way from home and had needed her. Still, it marked the first time she’d ever cheated on her fiance', which...

Added 21 Apr 2016 | Category Reluctance | Votes 17 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 10,960 | 8 Comments

Treats First then the Trick

It was a fantastic fuck. Randi Druitt's sex-charged body writhed and shuddered. A large, powerfully built man lay between her widespread legs. With deep, fluid strokes, he pumped his demanding cock in and out of her very willing pussy. Each thrust left her gasping with passion and wanting more. The freckle-faced redhead lay nude on the backseat of an old Buick, parked on the far side of a...

Added 21 Oct 2015 | Category Cheating | Votes 12 | Avg Score 5 | Views 7,359 | 7 Comments

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