Forum posts made by simplyjohn

Topic Word for the day
Posted 23 Feb 2017 01:52






Size-freak;...

A girl who has a larger than average size pussy, and who likes kinky sex

such as getting her pussy fistfucked, or fucked with very large toys and cocks.


How's your day John?...Big Hugs


Only 1 more forum post for my Forum Guru badge...YAY!...smiles

d'oh! Sooooooooooooooooooo confused. I said Gardening since I have a flowed bed to build/prepare which will take a few hours but its rained heavily this morning and its very very windy. I will thus have to reconsider my plans since the wind will mess my hair up and it took me over an hour this morning to do!.

Big Hugs

Topic Word for the day
Posted 22 Feb 2017 23:44

Gardening.

Topic What's for dinner tonight?
Posted 21 Feb 2017 11:30

Usual salad (all fresh from my vegetable garden) with nut-loaf and a glass of water.

Topic How Far You Can Pee?
Posted 21 Feb 2017 11:21

Not far enough it would seem. I had to mop the floor this morning after standing within 2 inches of the pan.

Topic What's on your mind right now?
Posted 21 Feb 2017 11:12




Are you telling me I didn't have to resort to the "stuffing a towel" in the hose thingy.


https://upload.lushstories.com/119155820-Vacuum.JPG

My charges for travelling to the USA to resolve your issue I think would be a non-starter so the towel hopefully will have worked. :).

Oh and if I may say... just great that you have purchased a platinum membership to support the site. (another smile).

Topic Does the new American President seem mentally ill to you?
Posted 20 Feb 2017 11:29



And I know where SJ lives. We should egg his house for that terrible attempt at humour.

I dont have an issue with eggs but pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee not your home made pizza!! I doubt the building insurance would pay up for the damage.

Topic Does the new American President seem mentally ill to you?
Posted 20 Feb 2017 11:14



i'm freaking monitoring this thread. after all the grief it's caused people not to post here, i'm going to be freaking pissed if i don't get at least a dozen posts by midnight my time. you've got 13 hours, people. get with it.

Here is one post:

What did the bodyguard say to President Trump when he saw a sniper take a shot at him?

Donald duck!

Embarassed

Topic Do you masturbate daily?
Posted 20 Feb 2017 09:25



Does food and drink turn you on?.....

Well yes.

Embarassed

Topic Boxers or Briefs?
Posted 19 Feb 2017 23:24



https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/6f/97/8c/6f978c47ed7b2b3827db3b3155fcba28.jpg

I am impressed that you assocaited the word tackle with fishing! Perhaps you have done some fishing before...

https://media.tenor.co/images/247f0aca1e1bf8beb407f1ba38ef8030/raw

Topic Boxers or Briefs?
Posted 19 Feb 2017 12:41

Boxers. Briefs do not have enough room for my tackle.

Topic Do you masturbate daily?
Posted 19 Feb 2017 12:32

When I wake up, in my tea break and lunchtime and the afternoon tea break at work and then immediately I get home (after putting my slippers on) and again before dinner and at bedtime with cocoa and 2 chocolate biscuits.

Topic Do you get aroused looking at yourself naked in a mirror?
Posted 19 Feb 2017 12:22

I do not but this is something I do once if not twice a day. Those abs, the muscular body, that sexy body, the huge ... I usually say 'Hey good looking'.

Topic What vitamins or supplements do you take on a daily basis?
Posted 19 Feb 2017 12:10

A probiotic for my digestive system, a product called Nutricalm which I think is rather an all-in-1 and a large Omega-3 capsule.

Topic Thread locked for no apparent reason
Posted 19 Feb 2017 11:42

This is now your second, if not third thread on this topic, albeit the last one was because a thread had been deleted:

https://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst53334_Some-info-when-threads-are-deleted-please.aspx

I recall another one but I cannot immediately find it which is a shame because that one got some responses which I believe were very appropriate. The thread above got no posts.

Can you not just accept, and move on, that there are times, when for whatever reason(s), explanations as to why some moderation actions have been taken are not made public.

Really it would appear to be only you that has a wasp in your bonnet about this.

Topic If you get to marry a pornstar, who would it be?
Posted 19 Feb 2017 05:25

Dont care as long as she is stinking rich and can cook.

Topic Word for the day
Posted 19 Feb 2017 00:07




Hey John...Like the suit...smile

Well thank you. You can borrow it if you like. It maybe a bit tight around the chest however (smiles).

Topic Word for the day
Posted 18 Feb 2017 23:49

Chill.

Topic Why do you come to Lush...?
Posted 18 Feb 2017 11:51



jerk Embarassed He's always masturbating, he's got a serious problem, he's gonna go blind one day.


You are in soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much trouble young lady!

Big Hugs

Topic Why do you come to Lush...?
Posted 18 Feb 2017 11:18

Me? I have no clue.

dontknow

Topic Why do you come to Lush...?
Posted 18 Feb 2017 11:16

To read Adagio's forum posts, ask SJ for help with spiders, changing light bulbs, lifts to the airport, towing the car to the garage, food from Sainsbury's when I cant be bothered to get my own, cough and cold medicine and any other whim that I think he maybe able to help with. :-"


Fixed that for you.

Topic Fingering While Eating Out
Posted 18 Feb 2017 10:21

When I saw the title of this thread this is what sprang to mind.

http://www.cs2guru.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/kfc-finger-lickin-good.jpg

Topic What's on your mind right now?
Posted 18 Feb 2017 10:17



You being 'old' isn't a joke, it's a fact.

I hugged you, what more do you want? Surely my safety is what's important here? I was not safe with that monster in my hoover.

Fine. So when the bank want my mortgage payment 1st March I will respond 'I will visit the branch and give the manager a hug. I assume that will do'.

angry7

Topic What's on your mind right now?
Posted 18 Feb 2017 08:28

Spiders. Sucked a massive one up my hoover last night (how fucking brave am I?) It could still be alive tho and to say that thought has kept me up half the night would be an understatement. I have a pair of Reece's school socks stuffed in the end almost drowned in raid so that it can't get back out. I am really hoping I can persuade a certain someone from here to come and empty my hoover out and save us all because no fucking way am I doing that. Quite honestly at this moment, I just want to move; it can't stay here, it's the spider or us.

Edit...you will all be pleased to know SJ just called and is coming to save us.

Anyone else need pest control services?

I have just posted my invoice for services as rendered this morning Kiera; please pay promptly. Thank you.

(And dont hark on this time about free food and coffee; such an 'old' joke!)

book

Topic Songs that make you horny?
Posted 17 Feb 2017 12:35

Reverend Horton Heat - Eat Steak.

Topic What's for dinner tonight?
Posted 17 Feb 2017 11:50



Of course not you silly man. It was delivering your steak for steak and blowjob day next month. Dropped me off some nice spuds too for your chips.

You really do need to move with the times.

http://groceries.iceland.co.uk/medias/sys_master/root/h32/h4c/8831091933214.jpg

Topic What's for dinner tonight?
Posted 17 Feb 2017 11:21

We had Wimpey.


dontknow


http://s0.geograph.org.uk/geophotos/04/02/84/4028424_ef686d8b.jpg



You had your dinner delivered in a truck?

evil4

Topic Steak and BJ Day
Posted 17 Feb 2017 10:37



Ketchup or brown sauce?



Thats just an awful suggestion!! Peppercorn sauce please :).

Topic Steak and BJ Day
Posted 17 Feb 2017 10:31

*grabs diary ... marks 14th March as a very very special day*

The steak had better come with chips!

Topic Have you ever Secretly played with yourself on the phone with someone?
Posted 16 Feb 2017 10:04



You forgot modest.

Not me I am way too shy for that angel7



bs

:-"