17 Feb 2013 05:42
If you are wondering what on earth the post "In lieu of making the reading experience easier" is about, go to the page where you can see previous posts. It is fun with grammar for play and profit at the punctuation pinkertons expense. Im awful, I know. Still, reject poetry because the punctuation forced you to stop, start and stutter in an uncomfortable way? Maybe I should be blacking out pages of books instead.
16 Feb 2013 19:54
In lieu of making the reading experience easier,
In the aforementioned dismissal:
Although is not a proper noun or a first word in the sentence. It should be written as "although".
On second thought, strike "although" and after "interesting" remove the comma splice, insert a semicolon and add "however".
"Your" needs to be replaced by "Its". Possesive is mandated as poem and it are used in the thesis statement.
Strike "in a way", change "doesnt" to"does not", and strike "really" for better syntax and flow.
Replace the second "it" with "the poem" to avoid using the same descriptive preposition twice in a sentence. Which it is it?
This is an enhanced reading experience:
Hi, I find your poem interesting; however, I think it needs a little more work to become a finished piece. Its punctuation interrupts the flow of your words in odd places that do not enhance the reading experience. In fact, it makes the poem difficult to read.
What are your thoughts on the grammar carabinieri?
16 Feb 2013 19:07
My first reject said this:
Hi, Although I find your poem interesting, I think it needs a little more work to become a finished piece. Your punctuation interrupts the flow of your words in odd places in a way that doesn't really enhance the reading experience. In fact, it makes it difficult to read. .....(sic)
Im not writing quatrains in iambic pentameter. So, my earnest answer:
The punctuation is intentionally set to make the experience stilted, difficult and wobbly. It is intended to be much like one's breathing would be after figuring out the one they finally trusted with it all abandonded them with not so much as a goodbye or im sorry, and the sobs were finally taking over.
It is meant to be difficult and bitter; as hard to read as it was to write with blurred vision and broken dreams.
e e cummings got away with it. She set the precedent.
Sometimes art is difficult, odd, and does not facilitate ease of consumption. Bukowski taught us that.
Thank you for your consideration