Topic Can a woman's sordid sexual history prevent her from being "the one"?
15 Feb 2013 06:24
Let's say that you met a woman and were quickly considering that she might be "the one" that you'd like to marry, settle down with, bring home to mom, and/or have children with.
Are there things in a woman's sexual history that would be a deal-breaker for you... or if not, would there be things that you'd rather not know or have her tell you?
In the realm of fantasy, porn, and imagination, a highly sexed, wildly-adventurous woman is a turn-on.
But what if you found out she'd been involved in more extreme sex experiences than you were used to - for example - gangbangs, bukkakes, double-penetration group sex, still enjoyed having sex with women, was involved in porn or online sex sites for pay as a performer, model or webcam girl, was a stripper at one point, worked in prostitution/escorting or was into maybe into certain fetishes that you weren't interested in.
If you found out early on in the relationship, would any of these factors dissuade you from considering her as a life-partner?
Absolutely not, and I would want to know whatever she wanted to share. When are we as a culture going to throw out the double standard? I swear to bob, we all have histories, we all have things to work through and its the dark as well as the light that make us who we are.
Even my avatar name comes from a rather juicy story, from when I was young. My point is that we all, everyone of us have some sort of kink, odd desire, fetish or raging libido. If the woman I loved wanted more variety in her life than just me, then so be it. Its me she loves, me she fell in love with and my unconditional love that brings her home to me. When we fuck, we fuck from a much deeper place then connecting in the middle, and only share that with each other. If she needs women as well, or multiple partners to satisfy that lovely slut way down deep; well then we are talking about sex and physical gratification. Nothing more. As long as there is open and honest dialogue between us about it, my brand of love just wants her to be as happy and content and successful as SHE wants or needs to be. That is where I gain my happiness in the relationship. That is what love is.
Love and sex, while linked to intimacy are very separate notions. Love is waking up at three am and kissing her shoulder because she is curled up with you and you can. Love is holding her when shit gets too thick for her, and understanding why she feels the way she does. Love is waiting, no matter how long it takes for her to come to you, at her own pace. Love is being able to let her go, if that is what she needs to be happy; it may hurt like hell, but hindering that just makes her miserable and why torture her and yourself and ruin any future friendship there might be?
Intimacy is earned and given through our conversations, our quiet time spent with each other, and in the way we hold each other's vulnerability; protecting the softest part of our partner with such ferocity that no human would dare fuck with you. Intimacy is knowing when to smack her ass as she walks past you, or that look that says, "Take me home, I need your heart tonight". It is the ability to say to a woman,"God babe, its ok, because I love you. All of you, the good, the bad, the sexy and the history. It is what has made you into the beautiful soul I would lay my life down for."
At least, that is the way I see it.