14 May 2013 20:27
the hardest thing in the world is to hurt someone you genuinely care about. i'm glad it hurts me as well - it should never be an easy thing to do.
14 May 2013 09:41
sometimes i get a little lonely. it happens. it's nice to have friends to fill the holes up.
13 May 2013 17:51
sometimes the only thing you need to feel better about yourself is a chance to make someone else feel better about themselves. i'm feeling pretty good right now.
12 May 2013 10:24
feeling a little meloncholy today. not sad, just thoughtful...
09 May 2013 16:40
last night, good days. no. great days. so tired, tho. exhausted. think i'm going to sleep for a few days. nighty night.
09 May 2013 11:13
can't stop cumming lately not a bad thing, but...
08 May 2013 09:00
ok, i need to write, so... i will.
07 May 2013 16:06
sometimes you long to push the walls over. you beat on them, rail at them, take a hammer to them, and nothing. patience, little zen kitty. ask and, brick by brick, you on one corner, those you love, who love you in return, on the others, lifting them carefully from the very top, and setting them aside until there is nothing left but the scar where it once stood.
06 May 2013 20:01
sometimes something just smacks you in the face when you least expect. lucky for me i have people in my life to hang on to for a bit until i'm upright again.
05 May 2013 22:59
putting some word done "on paper". had a lovely day, spent it with friends, on and off line. had a few beers, went 'swimming' (more like floating), did something naughty just a very lovely day. mew.
05 May 2013 14:06
sprite trivia #1 & 2 (just cause it's fun): no matter how hard i try, it's close to impossible for me to be ready to go anywhere on time & contrary to popular belief, i have an almost pathological need to be in control.
05 May 2013 11:38
i am so full of love today - i am hoping it's contagious
05 May 2013 08:09
romantic dinner with my wife, a nice walk, kisses, touching, a moonlight drive, more kisses, a warm bed, two girls in love, joy.
03 May 2013 22:41
I need to fall
Scrape my knees
Skin my palms
You need to learn to watch
And we both know how hard it is
When I keep falling over and over and…
Face down on the concrete
Lip bloody and tears threatening
Gritting my teeth as I get back up
Again and again
It’s called muscle memory
Soon, I won’t have to think about it
I will simply stand up
Catch my breath
Knowing I will fall again
I will let you know when I’m ready for you to catch me
03 May 2013 10:50
experimenting with being visible again - see how long it lasts THIS time.
03 May 2013 00:12
today was hard. i got a little lost for a while, a little sad. i shared it with friends, tho, and you know something? i'm not so lost anymore. did something scary too, big crowded theater, Ironman 3 - SO good. Tony Stark is the man (stay thru the credits!). things are ok. looking forward to going to sleep, dreaming, waking up. tomorrow is a new day. i am full of love and ready to share it.
01 May 2013 23:41
sometimes even the darkest nights are beautiful for they allow you to see the stars. thank you for for being my stars. i'm going to try to count each and everyone until i finally fall asleep.
01 May 2013 08:20
for those of you (all 3 of you lol) who've been waiting, Mrs V 5b is now up.
will there be a part 6? eventually, yes. when? i don't know - i've got a project i'll be working on for a while, so that's going to slow me down a bit, but this series, more than anything else, means a lot to me, and i know it means a lot to at least a couple of readers, so, until you come to a chapter with "The End" at the bottom, know that there WILL be another chapter in the lives of Shannon Spencer and Abby Vandermeer.
30 Apr 2013 01:51
Mrs V 5b is done. i am too tired to do the final proof, tho, so it can wait until tomorrow...
28 Apr 2013 22:13
i'm a bit worn out today. physically, really, but i find that's when i'm more emotionally vulnerable. that said, i was given a lovely gift today. nothing you can buy in stores. and that's beyond the gift i get every day of friendship from the people i care about here.
27 Apr 2013 14:32
it's good to be alive, sometimes I wonder how I survived
and in my minds eye when you're low no-one seems to know
a fallen angel tonight, i feel no shame when I'm high
it feels so good must be right, it feels so good inside
i'd love to love you but i'm too impure an angel.
27 Apr 2013 14:18
i just needed to say this; i try to always be upbeat, to be silly, to spread fairy magic around the place as much as i can. sometimes, it's just hard - this past year, especially. so thank you to everyone whose give me a smile, big or small, with a silly post, a sexy picture, or just by saying hi. i haven't been able to thank everyone in person, there's just too many of you and honestly, i've not been as outgoing or social as i could, i just haven't had the energy. anyways, just thank you to everyone who's touched my life in anyway since i've been here. i love you all. - rachel
27 Apr 2013 10:26
good night, good morning, good life, happy kitty.
26 Apr 2013 10:54
let's see.. the day started out well; an enchanted ball, complete with string quartet, lord, ladies, and a beautiful princess. oh, and i was there too. Kate has promised to take me out dancing tonight (she doesn't know that yet, so don't tell her - it's a surprise). why do i like lush? i get to spend time with some of my favorite people here, one of whom is a very sweet little kitty girl, while other are simply (simply, ha!) incredible writers, great friends, sexy sirens, or a combination of all three. than (see what i did there? she'll get it) there's Nicola, an evil task-mistress who chases me around all day with a whip - good thing i have my sneakers on! god knows what will happen if she catches me (although i've considered the possibilities once or twice )
ok, i need a new mouse - the last straw has been laid upon the camel's back and stuffed it into the garbage disposal. god, i hope i don't need a new disposal as well... anyways, off the the mouse story.
24 Apr 2013 10:49
a little teaser for those who've asked when the second part of Mrs V will be posted:
My hands trembled only slightly as I ran them over my breasts, feeling my nipples poking through the fabric of my dress, and along the curve of my waist and hips, gathering up the courage to curl them under the hem of my dress and peel it up my thighs, revealing twin black garters and my smoothly shaved, and dripping wet, cunt. Frozen like that, my gaze fixed on her face, I waited for some sign of approval, letting go of a breath I wasn’t aware of holding when I got one of her rare smiles, followed by yet another click of the camera.
i am hoping to have it up sometime next weeks -it's about 2/3s done, and i've already proofed what has been written. thanks your your patience and the comments, both public and private. oh, and a special shout out to Freshpet (and, for course, my OWN kitty) for reminding me how much i love this series.
23 Apr 2013 11:40
red is my favorite color. my kitty knows why.
22 Apr 2013 23:36
being a total girl - there's a big black spider in our bathroom - i shut the door, stuffed towels under it and am using the back bathroom until further notice. at least i didn't wake the girl up and make her go kill it for me. yet.
21 Apr 2013 16:34
fuck. just fuck.
20 Apr 2013 13:03
ok, this is totally stupid, and not something everyone will get, but something i'm very proud of me right now; lately, been getting out a lot more, as in out of the house, in public, and being ok with it. The airport was a biggie, wandering around Maui, went to the museum the other day, record store day today, yeah, K's been with me each and every time, but i've not been overly clingy, no panic attacks, a little nervousness, yes, but nothing i can't deal with. i think i've earned a milk shake, right? strawberry, of course!