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Summer of Discovery, Ch. 05

Alex begins to research, discovers something about himself, what will Nina say?
***Alex***

Alex Stone sat wearing just a pair of basketball shorts in his room, blaring music and playing Call of Duty on his Xbox when his parents returned home from work that evening. His father was the first to arrive, parking his precious Jaguar in the garage, coming inside, and heading straight to the fridge for a beer. Alex heard him shout to turn the music down but ignored him and continued his attempt to numb his mind with the video game and clear his mind of Nina and their conversation.

In a brief moment of insanity, he considered asking his father about his experiences from earlier that day and the possibility that Nina had brought up about BDSM. He quickly discarded that thought though and returned his attention to the screen just in time for his on-screen character to get shot through the head. With a sigh he switched his console off and threw the controller across the room in disgust. “So much for mind-numbing,” he thought bitterly and walked over to his desk.

As he sat down in front of the computer he glanced at the clock in the bottom corner. “Mom will probably be home soon,” he mused as he opened up a browser and typed in a command to pull up his favorite sports page. Highlights and scores couldn’t keep his mind occupied for long though. He kept seeing Nina’s face in front of him, or hearing her voice in his head.

When she had associated their encounter with BDSM he had been overcome with emotion; shame and anger that she would associate him with something so brutal, as well as fear that she was right. All he knew about BDSM was that B stood for Bondage and S stood for Sadism, someone who enjoyed causing pain. He didn’t want to accept the idea that even a small part of him might have a sadistic streak.

As Alex looked back at the screen in front of him he realized that almost by accident, he had typed BDSM into the search bar at the top right of his screen. He stared at the letters for a second before pressing Search. He wanted to know more about the feelings that had overcome him that afternoon. He wanted to understand the force that had come from so deep within him, driving him to action.

As the search results arrived he chose the first one, which opened a page full of images. He saw women bound to tables, hanging from chains, ropes tightly wound around their bodies; images of women bent over, black and purple bruises spreading across their bare flesh. The images made his skin crawl and he quickly pushed the back button. “I’m definitely not into that,” he told himself firmly.

He almost closed down the browser but another image caught his eye under the second link. As he enlarged it he saw that it was an image of a woman in beautiful lingerie kneeling on the floor. Her wrists were bound in front of her with a thin strip of silk and she was looking up. There was an expression of adoration, trust, and love on her face. That look is what made him stop, as he stared at her face his heart began to pound rapidly in his chest. “I would do anything to have someone look at me like that,” he thought.

As his eyes continued to absorb the details within the picture, he saw a man’s hand reaching out and cupping the woman’s face. The hand was very obviously caressing, not striking her beautiful features, and it was tilting her chin up to look at him. The rest of his body wasn’t visible, simply his arm and his hand, but she was obviously looking at his face. No woman could ever look that way at a man she feared was about to hurt her, he realized. “How can this be BDSM?” he asked himself.

Clicking on the main link he was brought to a page that had big block letters across the top and smaller writing underneath. The large letters were set in pairs. The first read BD, followed by DS, and then by SM. And underneath each pair of letters were written two words that began with the letters above them.

The second line of the page read:

Bondage and Discipline, then Domination/Submission, and finally Sadism and Masochism. The image that had caught his eye was directly under the middle pairing and underneath was a caption describing the couple as a being in a loving, trusting D/s relationship. With a start, Alex realized that the S he had always associated with Sadism in fact had two meanings. While Sadism and Masochism was in fact a part of the BDSM acronym, it was not a complete description of what BDSM was.

Returning to the search screen he replaced BDSM with Domination/submission and pressed Search. As before, the first link led to a page full of images. But unlike the last page that left him feeling disgusted, he was now seeing more images that sent his pulse racing. Images of beautiful women of all figures in various positions of submission scrolled past the screen as he moved the cursor down the screen. He saw a brunette lovingly sucking the offered shaft of her Dom’s cock. A fiery redhead crawling on her hands and knees, wearing a collar around her neck approaching a fully dressed man sitting in a chair. As well as a blonde being taken from behind, her head thrown back in ecstasy with the man’s hands tangled in her hair.

Images and stories flew past Alex’s eyes as he visited page after page, becoming more and more aroused with each passing screen. Deep within his chest, he felt a power, the same power that had prompted his uncontrollable urges when Nina had been sucking on his cock. Becoming very aware of the throbbing erection in his shorts, he reached down to adjust himself. Adjusting soon turned to stroking and before long his shorts were around his ankles and he was furiously pumping his thick shaft. Just as he felt his balls tightening he saw an image of a girl with ebony hair looking up at a cock that was being stroked in front of her. The caption below gave voice to her pleading look, begging to be covered in warm thick cum.

Alex closed his eyes, his back arching as he stroked down hard on his shaft once, twice, and suddenly in his mind’s eye Nina was kneeling before him begging, “Please Alex, Sir, please cum for me, please mark me as yours. Claim me as only yours with your cum! Please!”

A roar seemed to echo through Alex’s head and was matched by his audible groan as wave after wave of pleasure suddenly smashed through him. It resulted in an explosion of cum from his pulsing shaft, arching up and splashing over his bare chest and stomach.

While diminished due to the number of times he had cum that afternoon, a sizable amount of gooey cum was splattered in white trails up his body. Turning his monitor off he walked out of the bedroom and across the hallway to his bathroom to clean up. After turning on the shower and letting the water begin to warm up he looked at the familiar face in the mirror. “Could I be a Dom?” he asked himself silently. He had never considered himself as that type of person, too quiet and shy to speak up and take charge of a social situation. The stormy blue eyes stared back at him as he considered the events of the day and wondered at their potential consequences.

When the steam from the shower began to obscure his reflection he opened the shower door and stepped inside, releasing a deep breath as the hot water hit his skin. Slowly washing the cum still smeared across his chest and stomach, he allowed his mind to continue wandering over the possibility that Nina might have actually been right. Maybe the urges that had lain dormant inside him until that day really were related to some aspect of BDSM.

Well, Domination/submission at least,” he told himself. He still didn’t feel comfortable with a lot of the things he knew went on in BDSM lifestyle. Turning off the shower he stepped out of the cloud of steam and reached for a towel. He didn’t know how he would do it, but he did know that he had to continue this path of discovery that he had found himself on.

It was while he was pulling on a clean pair of boxer briefs and his jeans that he thought of Nina. He remembered the look on her face as he had dismissed her a few hours before. Once again he hung his head in shame because of how he had treated a girl that yesterday, he would have done anything to have acknowledged his very existence. “Looks like I blew that,” he thought, convinced that she would never speak to him again. “I still better find a way to apologize though.”

When he heard commotion coming from downstairs he realized that the rest of his family was home and probably putting together a late dinner. He could hear his younger sister, Sarah arguing with their mother about the length of her skirt. He heard dad yelling at his brother, Jason to grab him another beer from the fridge. Deciding that he really didn’t want to deal with the noise he went back into his room and closed the door.

It was still earlier than he would usually go to bed, but there was nothing else he felt like doing so he decided to just crash and sleep off all the confusing emotion from the day. Stripping down to his briefs he climbed in bed and stared at the ceiling. Thoughts and memories continued to stream through his head, and two hours later he was still laying there wondering what the next day might bring. Finally exhaustion overtook him and he fell asleep.

***Nina***

While Alex was trying to turn off his mind, Nina was fighting the same battle. After the experience with Jake, she had driven home and spent the rest of the night locked in her room, listening to music, and trying to get her mind to shut the hell up. More than once, tears of frustration streamed from her gorgeous eyes as she fought to bring her emotions under control. She had never felt so lost in her life, never questioned who or what she was supposed to be. But one afternoon had completely turned her entire existence upside down. Her phone went off a few times, but she ignored the calls and texts, even Brooke’s. She didn’t want to talk about it; she wanted to forget about it.

But she couldn’t forget about it. She couldn’t stop thinking about it, remembering the feelings of pride and pleasure she had felt when the shy nerdy boy had cum in her mouth. She remembered the sound of his growls and groans; she could still feel his hands in her hair, possessively holding her. And above all, she remembered the desire she had felt to please him, to give all of herself to him.

As she reflected on that feeling, she felt peace finally flow into her body. Thoughts of Alex, of being his, pushed away the memories of Jake, the memories of shame, and the questions that had been filling her mind. All she saw was him standing above her and as his image smiled down at her she felt something new. She felt home.

***Alex***

The first thing that Alex felt when he woke up was the throbbing in his cock. Just like every morning since he was fourteen, he woke up with his morning wood tenting the sheets. He thought back, trying to remember the dreams that had gotten him so worked up, but as usual all he could remember were bits and pieces. Suddenly the face of Nina Hall appeared in his mind and memories of the previous day followed in a rush. Shame for how he had dismissed the pretty cheerleader gnawed at his stomach and succeeded in rapidly deflating his erection. With a sigh, Alex climbed from bed and headed to the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day.

By the time he had showered, dried, and dressed he was feeling better, and was ready to set off in search of Nina. Hopefully she would forgive him for freaking out the day before and dismissing her before taking the time to consider what she was saying. He hoped she would give him the chance to explain the things he had learned, and how she had made him feel.

His parents had already left for work and his siblings were sleeping in, enjoying the first morning of summer vacation. The house was empty and quiet as he went downstairs and grabbed his car keys on his way out the door. As he stepped onto the front porch Alex’s jaw dropped in shock. Walking up his drive was none other than the girl he had set out to find.

Nina Hall looked as beautiful as he’d ever seen her; her white and blue dress being held up by thin straps over her shoulders, descended to her knees and she wore simple white flats. A matching ribbon was in her hair, holding it back from her face and neck. She offered a small smile as she met his eyes, looking a little unsure of how he would react to her presence. That smile seemed to take Alex’s breath away and he could have sworn that time stood still. A familiar pressure in his chest returned, along with a strong sense of possessiveness. Finally he continued walking towards her, his pace quickening as hers faltered, her eyes locked on his.

They came together and while Nina stopped just steps away. Alex continued forward, driven by a relentless need to hold the girl, to feel her body against his. He opened his arms and drew her to him as he covered the remaining feet between them. The scent of her shampoo and her perfume filling his nostrils. For a moment the two teens stood there in the driveway holding each other.

Finally Alex managed to say, “I was wrong. I’m sorry.” She looked up into his eyes and immediately he knew that she had forgiven him. The look in her eyes seemed to pierce him to his very soul. The longing in her eyes matched the need in his chest; the pleading for understanding he recognized as what he had been feeling since the day before. “She’s just as lost as I was,” he realized with surprise. With this realization came the overwhelming desire to help her understand, to take away her fear, her confusion, and protect her from ever feeling that way again.

***Nina***

Nina had taken her time getting ready that morning. She knew that she would have to try again to talk to Alex, to explain that she wasn’t afraid, and he didn’t need to be afraid either. She knew he wasn’t going to hurt her, she knew he didn’t like the idea of BDSM, but maybe it didn’t have to be as bad as he thought it was.

She smiled as she put the dress on, and thought of the first time she had warn worn it to school. She remembered how all of the boys, and some of the girls in the classroom, especially Alex, couldn’t keep their eyes off of her. She had loved feeling their eyes on her, knowing that she was the most desirable thing in the room. At the time she had barely noticed Alex at all, yet now she was dressing hoping to impress him. She shook her head smiling at the thought, amazed that nothing about it seemed strange to her anymore. She felt as giddy and nervous as she had the first time an older boy had asked her out.

The butterflies in her stomach increased their intensity as she pulled up in front of his house and got out, slowly walking up the drive. Halfway there she watched as the door swung inward and Alex stepped out onto the porch, freezing as he saw her. Their eyes locked, and suddenly her stomach was empty of butterflies, and for the first time since yesterday, her mind felt clear.

A brief moment of hesitation returned as he approached, causing her to stop, the look in his eyes freezing her in place. She couldn’t look away and couldn’t move, and the next thing she knew his arms were around her and her face was against his chest and shoulder. As she lifted her arms around his back and clutched him the feeling of welcoming, of comfort, of home, returned to her and she gave a sigh of contentment.

At the sound of his apology she looked up at him and shook her head, “It’s okay Alex,” she said quietly, “I understand why you reacted the way you did. That’s why I came to see to you.”

Looking around she asked shyly, “Can we go somewhere and talk?” Alex nodded and released her, walking next to her down the drive and onto the sidewalk.

They walked in silence for a few moments, and Nina searched for a place to start, a way to explain things that she still didn’t understand. Just as she was about to speak Alex reached out and took her hand firmly in his. His hands were much bigger than hers and she was amazed by the firmness of his grip. Heat seemed to radiate out from that touch. It soon filled her entire body with warmth and peace as they walked, approaching a tree-filled park around the corner from Alex’s house. She looked up at his face as they stepped into the park and began to walk under the trees.

***Alex***

The feelings flowing through Alex as he held Nina against his chest were exciting, while at the same time terrifying. She felt like she belonged in his arms, like she fit perfectly. Again, he felt that possessiveness returning, the idea that she belonged to him, or at least with him. He decided that he would let her speak first, he continued to walk alongside her in silence. As they approached the park he stole glances at her beautiful face, her lithe body wrapped in the thin sundress. A sudden urge to hold her hand came upon him, which at first he resisted, his shyness taking over. Finally he overcame his fears and reached out, grabbing her hand and holding it tightly in his own. She didn’t try to pull away, which only strengthened the various feelings he was experiencing.

“Do you feel that?” he asked her, referring to the warmth that was rapidly filling his body from their connection. Looking up at him she nodded and smiled before answering.

“Yes,” she said softly, “I do feel it. I don’t know what it is, and I’ve never felt anything like it, but it feels good.”

“I’ve never felt it either,” Alex said softly, “But I think I know what it is.” Leading her to the shade of a large maple tree he sat down under it, waiting as she sat modestly with her legs under her, smoothing her dress out around her. When she was settled, he again took her hand in his and began to tell her of the things he had learned the night before.

His eyes never left hers as he described his search for more information, his discovery of the different elements of BDSM, and how he had been wrong to assume that BDSM was all about pain and sadism. He explained the pictures and stories he had seen describing Dominance and Submission, and how he had recognized in them the feelings that had overcome him during the last twenty-four hours.

I can’t believe I’m sitting here with Nina Hall, talking about looking at porn and reading about BDSM,” he thought to himself. It just wasn’t a topic he thought he’d ever discuss with anyone, let alone the hottest girl in the school. Finally he finished by telling her the emotions going through him right then, the need to touch her, to hold her, the possessiveness he felt towards her, how he felt like this is where she belonged.

As he ended his speech he watched her reaction, fully aware that he had basically just asked her to be his girlfriend, sure that she was about to rip her hand out of his and remind him of who she was, and that she definitely didn’t belong with him, and he was crazy to thing that anything like yesterday would ever happen again. She could have any guy she wanted, he knew that, why would she accept him?

***Nina***

But Nina did none of those things, keeping her hand in his and looking down at her dress as she gathered her thoughts. She was amazed how honest he had been with her, how much he had opened up to her. She truly appreciated it, understanding how hard it must have been for the shy, nerdy boy she had known for years to admit so much about himself. She was especially surprised that he would admit so much to a girl that had hardly said a handful of things to him during their entire high school career.

She didn’t want to tell him about the night before, how she had tried to forget about him by going to Jake, how she had felt afterwards, how her mind had refused to shut off. She didn’t want to tell him that the only thing that finally quieted her thoughts enough to sleep was the thought of him. But remembering how honest he was with her, she told him everything, rushing through the experience in Jake’s truck, not giving him a chance to comment until she was completely done.

Nina hesitated a little when she finished telling him about the thing with Jake, but then forged onward. She told him how she had tossed and turned; thoughts and emotions running wild, until she had thought of him. And how with the image of his face in her mind, had come peace.

“I fell asleep thinking of you,” she said quietly. “And when I woke up, I was still thinking of you. I knew that I had to see you again, had to try to explain better than I did yesterday. But I guess you already found a better explanation anyway.”

She finished with a grin. She squeezed his hand and leaned towards him a little. “I’ve never felt like this Alex,” she said, a sparkle returned to her eyes as she looked into his. “But when you said that you felt like I belong right here, with you, I completely understood, because I feel the same way. I feel like I belong here too.”

Nina leaned a little closer to him, something within her craving to be even closer. As her head approached his shoulder Alex lifted his hand to her face. She felt his hand, big and warm, cupping her cheek and tilting her eyes back to his. She recognized the look of awe and longing that she had seen there before, as he watched her from the background. But now there was something more.

She saw caring, loyalty, and a possessiveness that stole her breath away. But that’s not all that took her breath, for at that moment; Alex leaned down and kissed her deeply on the mouth. It was their first kiss, and to Nina, it felt like the first real kiss she’d ever had. She could interpret so much from his kiss, like he was even more open to her; with all of his emotions flowing through the kiss into her with such force that it left her light-headed.

As their lips parted and she again became lost in his stormy blue eyes, she had the distinct impression that her life had just barely started. That everything that lead up to that day had simply prepared her for this kiss, for this moment, for this man. “My man,” she thought, and smiled as she felt peace flood through her. 

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