Some people never work their way up to a truly "fuck the world" drunk. The kind where you walk off the job, stop answering the phone or door and invest your life savings in the productive future of the nearest liquor store or dead end bar. I'm one of those people that did.
It had been three days, or three weeks, to be honest I didn't know. Life had become a rut of crawling out of bed for that first drink of the day, usually a beer with Jim Beam chaser, followed by a thawed out waffle to keep it down. By mid morning I was sufficiently inebriated to make a list of things I'd need to make it thru another day.
In case your wondering how someone can survive like that I guess I should tell you strait up, they couldn't. When rent next came due I wouldn't have it. I hadn't even opened the bills that were piling up on the table by the door. My world was slowly dissolving around me and all I cared about was getting another bottle or two to make it thru the day.
I needed a new beginning with my life, and a new beginning I was now assured. All I was, everything I'd been and everything I'd owned was now gone. I had my car, my clothes and just enough cash to make it till the end of the month. After that I'd start fresh somewhere else.
I was thinking about doing a little startup somewhere in a larger city. Something along the lines of my neighbor Eddie's business, who sold hot food from a vending cart in the financial district. I know that doesn't sound glamorous but the kid was onto something. Most people would sell hot dogs or hamburgers but not Eddie. He sold Mexican food. The kid could whip up a taco salad or Frito chili pie faster than you could order it and he seemed to be making some big bucks in the process. I remembered I owed him ten bucks for the lunch I'd picked up yesterday. I didn't have any change on me and he agreed to let me pay him later. I figured I'd stop by on my way out. It was Saturday so he'd probably be home.
The only thing I dreaded about stopping by was his girlfriend. The bitch was an honest to god shrew. Her name was Jamie or Jenny or one of those names that most pretty girls have that start with a J. She was living proof that the people with the prettiest bodies have the ugliest souls. From what little time I'd spent with them I'd seen nothing but a demanding, petty and horrible person. Nothing Eddie did was good enough, She always wanted more. Why he didn't kick that bitch to the curb I couldn't understand.
By 10:30 I was ready to face the day. With one last pull on the bottle of JB I left my apartment. I didn't bother locking the door. Hell, there was nothing left in there to steal. I guess they could have taken my clothes, if a mountain of unwashed and smelly stuff was what turned them on. I was almost hoping someone would, just so I wouldn't have to wash it.
I made my way across the courtyard toward Eddie's. I wanted to make sure I gave him his money before I got too drunk to remember or even make it over there. I knocked but the door wasn't all the way closed and opened just an inch or so. No one answered even though I knew someone was home. I could hear a muffled voice but couldn't figure out what it was saying. I knocked again, ever so gently to keep the door from opening further and the muffled voice grew even louder.
I tell myself it was out of concern, or sometimes out of curiosity, but the truth is the liquor made me push the door the rest of the way open and walk inside. That's the plus side of being on a "Fuck the world" drunk. You can blame the booze for everything.
Still, I was more than a little surprised by the site that greeted me when I walked in. Jen or Jamie or Julie or whoever was face down before the sofa, Her wrists tied to the arms on either end. Around her mouth was Saran wrap, which was holding a cloth or sock or something in place. That explained the muffled yelling. The calves of her legs were crossed and wrapped in Saran wrap as well. I've got to give the kid credit; it was a nice tie up job. That bitch wasn't going anywhere.
By now she was in an all out muffled panic scream. I decided to calm her a bit and said, "Look, I just came by to give Ed the ten bucks I owe him. I'll be gone in a few." But it didn't work. She was actually starting to pull the couch away and then bang it into the wall.
"What the hell?" Eddie had finally decided to make an appearance. None to soon I might add since his lady looked like she was actually trying to chew up and swallow her gag.
"I wanted to drop off that money I owed you." I said, extending my hand and trying not to smile. "I appreciate you fronting me the lunch yesterday."
"Boy, is this awkward or what?" He replied, taking the money and I swear he was suppressing a smile as well.
"Don't worry," I told him. "I've had foreplay in bars that was more intense than this. It doesn't get really interesting till you start finding your limits. Hers and yours, that's when the fun starts. Just train her right and you'll be fine."
"Thanks again." I said. It was time for me to go. I turned for the door when Eddie stopped me in my tracks.
"What can you tell me about training her right?" He asked. "Were both really new at this and I could use a little advice."
I wasn't sure what to do. They would find what they needed just by playing along and growing in their passion, but it was hard to just walk away from someone who had asked for advice. That last shot of JB helped me decide to just wing it.
"Well, the first thing you need to know is that you're in charge." I started. "If you forget that or let it slide your life will become a living hell. A submissive will buck on you just like an untrained pony if you don't keep a tight rein. You are the giver of both pleasure and pain. Never let them forget that."
I walked over to J whatever and slapped her across the ass with more force than I actually intended. I honestly thought she was going to pick the couch up with her bellowing but still muffled yelling.
"Stop it and relax." I commanded.
I didn't work. She was flailing like I'd tossed her into a frying pan. I slapped her ass again, this time even harder and repeated, "Stop it and relax."
She stopped. She didn't relax but she did stop trying to tear the couch apart. Her eyes were on fire and if they could have killed me they would have.
"See that look in her eye?" I told Eddie.