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Trying to Control the Urge to Suck Cock

I suck cock again for the first time since high school and try hard to control the urges.
My name is Ed, and my wife Joan and I have lived in the Atlanta area for many years, ever since moving here after graduation from college. We are now 45 years old and live in a nice suburb, and both of our kids are in college.

Joan and I met when we were both freshmen in college, and we have had a great sex life, at least up until the last six months. Joan was almost insatiable, and usually wanted sex every day. I of course had no complaints, and was all too happy getting all of the pussy that a guy could want. She somehow liked sex with me even though my dick was small at only five inches long and thin. I always considered her to be my savior from the strong bisexual urges that I developed in high school, as I will explain.

I had a large group of friends in high school, and although none of us were into organized sports, we were always active with our own sports activities, camping and other normal activities for our age. My best friend Alan and I did everything together. During the summer before our junior year, when we both turned 16 years old, I was lucky enough to get a car, and Alan and I often double-dated with our girlfriends. All of my friends and I were obsessed with girls, and it never occurred to any of us to engage in homosexual activities, at least not until that one fateful night.

Alan and I were sleeping over in the furnished basement at his house one night after taking our girlfriends home. We changed into t-shirts and gym shorts and helped ourselves to some of his parents’ beer, and it didn’t take us very long to get buzzed. We continued drinking and talking about girls, and we were both unhappy that we didn’t get any pussy, or at least a blowjob, from the girls that night. My recollection of that night isn’t perfect because of all of the beer, but at one point Alan was rubbing his crotch and said, “Damn Ed, I sure do need to cum right now. I dare you to come over here and suck my cock, or at least jack me off.”

We had been friends for a long time, and it wasn’t unusual for us to talk about sex and tease each other about our cocks. But this was the first time I could remember Alan being so direct in asking me to touch or suck his cock. I had seen him naked many times on camping trips or in the shower at school. I knew that he had what looked to be a six inch, uncircumcised cock that was pretty thick, and that’s when it was soft. He also had low-hanging balls, and I could remember staring at him naked from time to time and thinking how impressive his genitals looked. But I had no intention of touching his cock and said, “Come on Alan, what makes you think I would be interested in touching or sucking your cock? You must be too drunk to know what you’re saying.”

Then Alan replied, “Hey Ed, no offense, but I’ve seen you looking at my cock before, and I just thought you might like to get a closer look. Come on man; at least just rub it a little for me. I think you’ll like the feel of it in your hand.”

I was embarrassed that he had seen me staring at his cock, and then knew that he had at least some reason to be so direct with me. I was also surprised that I could feel my desire to touch his cock building within me, and knew that I really did want to feel his cock. So in a mental fog I said, “Okay Alan, I’ll help you out by just rubbing it for you. But you have to promise not to tell anyone about this.”

Alan got up from where he was sitting on the floor and stood in front of me where I was sitting on the couch. He reached out and held onto my shoulder with one hand to steady himself, and pulled down his shorts with the other hand. And there right in front of my face was his thick, uncut cock and heavy balls. I still don’t know why I was so attracted to his cock and balls, but I can remember liking the way his cock was thick and heavy and just hanging there, and his balls were big and hanging even lower in his sack.

I reached out and took his thick meat in my hand and I liked the weight and heat of it. He immediately began to harden, and in just a couple of minutes I was holding what looked to be seven and a half inches of thick, hard, throbbing cock. I started stroking him and can remember how great it felt having his foreskin slide back and forth, with his head and piss slit disappearing and reappearing on each stroke, all being lubricated with his plentiful precum. After a few minutes stroking him Alan placed his hands behind my head and started pulling my mouth to his cock saying, “Come on Ed, you’re stroking my cock for me so you must like it. Go ahead and suck it for me man. I’m so horny and just have to cum.”

I looked up and saw Alan smiling down at me, and then I opened my mouth and had my first taste of his cock, or any cock for that matter. I liked the feeling of his wet foreskin and thick cock head in my mouth, and he held my head in place and started fucking my mouth. Just then it dawned on me that he intended to cum in my mouth, and although I was apprehensive about it at first, I also knew that I wanted to experience the taste and feeling of his cum in my mouth. He continued fucking my face for a few more minutes and I reached up to play with his massive balls with my hand. I just loved the size and heaviness of his nuts.

He finally quickened his strokes and in just another minute I could feel his cock throbbing and pulsing as he held my head firmly in place and shot squirt after squirt of his cum into my mouth. I can remember thinking how unusual, yet wonderful his cum tasted. I liked the thick texture of it and swallowed it down without giving it much more thought.

That experience with Alan was where I began to develop my strong urges to suck cock and swallow cum. We both still liked girls and dated them and got all of the pussy we could get, but it seemed that we almost always ended up together in private, with me sucking his cock. By the spring of our junior year, I was also sucking all of our other friends, and I realized that I was developing an insatiable desire to look at heavily hanging cocks and balls, suck them, and I especially liked to swallow the tasty cum. The variety of tastes and textures of their cum was also appealing to me, and I just couldn’t wait for opportunities to feel those hard cocks pumping their fluids into my mouth and stomach. The other thing I liked was just the idea that I was taking another boy’s sperm and semen into my body, and it really turned me on thinking about taking their seed, just like a cunt, and absorbing it in my stomach.

I have explained this much of my high school cock sucking experiences so you can better understand the reemergence of my cock sucking desires in adulthood. The main thing is that these urges got stronger and stronger, and by the spring of our senior year, I couldn’t seem to get enough cock and cum to satisfy my lust. As we neared graduation, some of my friends had developed serious relationships with girls, and fewer of them wanted me to suck them. So, I started going to adult book stores and sucking cocks through glory holes. It finally dawned on me that I was taking significant risks by sucking those strangers, and came to the realization that I needed to get those destructive urges under control.

As I mentioned earlier, my salvation came when I met Joan in college. We had constant sex from the start, and that kept me so sexually satiated that I no longer had a desire to suck cock. I soon evolved to the point where I didn’t think about sucking cocks at all. We had a very active sex life for most of our marriage, but just recently she seemed to be losing interest in sex, and I was only getting fucked about one a month, if I was lucky. At first I didn’t realize that this lack of being satiated would cause my previous urges to reemerge.

The reawakening happened on a fishing trip with Dave, a neighbor of mine. We are about the same age and size, at six feet tall and 185 pounds, and we had become good friends over the years. We averaged about 20 fishing trips a year, and they were usually one day trips to a local reservoir on some weekends and holidays. Two other neighbor men sometimes joined us, and we always had plenty of beer to drink. But on this particular trip on a hot summer day it was just Dave and me.

It was mid-morning and we were in my bass boat in our favorite cove in the reservoir. We both already had a couple of beers and Dave had to piss. We would sometimes just piss in a cup and then pour it overboard, but since there were no other boats in the cove, Dave stood up to piss over the side of the boat. I had gotten a brief glimpse of Dave’s genitals on many previous occasions while fishing, but seeing him had never before attracted my attention this way. This time he stood up right next to me and lowered his shorts and underwear, and he was only a couple of feet from me. I glanced over and got a good look at his soft cock, and it immediately brought back memories of the first time I saw Alan’s cock up close in high school.

Dave’s cock was still soft, but I could see that it was uncircumcised and very thick, and must have been hanging down seven inches. His huge balls were also hanging heavily between his legs. I hadn’t realized how my recent lack of sex with Joan was affecting my libido, and I felt a rush of sexual desire to feel and suck Dave’s cock. Seeing that thick cock hanging there brought to mind the whole scenario that I liked so much when I was sucking cocks in high school. I just loved how thick his cock was, and how his cock and balls were hanging so heavily. I was so focused on his cock while he was pissing there that I didn’t realize that he had noticed me looking at him and he was watching me. I was finally awoken from my trance when Dave said, “Damn Ed, I never realized that you had such an interest in my cock. You look like you might even want to suck it for me. Just let me know buddy.”

I was very embarrassed at being caught staring at him like that, and I couldn’t think of anything to say right away. As I continued staring Dave took matters into his own hands. After he finished pissing he kept his shorts and underwear down and shuffled to the swivel deck chair right in front of me and sat down. I could see that his foreskin was still wet from piss as I got on my knees in front of him and lifted his thick, heavy cock to my lips. I held his balls with one hand as I held the base of his cock with the other, and I sucked the head and a couple of inches of his meat into my mouth. It felt so good to have a cock in my mouth again and I could taste the tang of his wetness as I started sucking and moving up and down on his hardening meat.

Dave’s cock soon reached its full nine inch hardness, and its thickness filled my mouth. I continued to suck Dave as he put both hands behind my head and held me in place as he swiveled his hips and fucked my mouth. I could feel the foreskin slipping back and forth and the thickness of the head, and it brought back fond memories of sucking all of those cocks in high school. Dave quickened his strokes and held my head even more tightly as he said, “Ahhhh, oh fuck Ed. I don’t know what got into you but I’m close to feeding you my four-day load of cum. Keep sucking and swallow fast my friend because I always shoot a huge load.”

He continued fucking my mouth for another minute until I felt him tense up, and then his cock throbbed and pulsed as I felt his thick cum load flood my mouth. I swallowed all of his juice down and kept enthusiastically sucking him until his cock softened. I just couldn’t seem to get enough after all of those years with no cock to suck, and I held onto his waist and kept sucking. He finally pushed me away and said, “Whoa, that‘s enough for now Ed, but you can have some more after I have a chance to recharge a little. Holy shit, what got into you man? You even sucked the piss from my foreskin and I’ve never had that done before.”

Now that I had swallowed his load of semen and my lust was calming down a little, I started to feel regret for surprising my friend and sucking his cock on the spur of the moment like that. So I got off of my knees and sat in the other swivel chair facing him and said, “Sorry Dave, but I saw your big cock and balls hanging there and I had an uncontrollable urge to suck you off. I can try to explain why this happened, and I sure hope that I haven’t ruined our friendship. It’s been a long time since anything like this has happened, and I sure would like to learn to control my urge to suck cock.”

Dave smiled at me and said, “Shit man, don’t worry about it. This hasn’t ruined our friendship, and in fact, you can suck my cock and balls anytime you want to. You did a great job, and I enjoyed filling your mouth and stomach with my load. But yes, I would like to hear the story behind it all.”

I then told Dave the whole story of how I started sucking the cock of my friend Alan in high school, with it becoming an obsession until I started dating Joan and was getting all of the pussy I could handle. But now that I wasn’t getting much pussy anymore, that must have caused the strong urges to come back. Then I said, “I know how obsessed I was in high school when these urges became all consuming, and I need to find a way to control it now that the urges have come back. I can’t let this get me into risky situations like sucking total strangers and catching diseases, or consuming all of my waking moments with thoughts of sucking cock.”

Dave then said, “We’ve been friends for many years, and I’m glad that I’m the one that you fell off of the cock sucking wagon with. What I’m about to tell you will sound pretty incredible, but I might actually have a way to at least try to help you. I have a friend named Ravi, who is Indian, and he runs a clinic that tries to help people with various obsessive sexual behaviors. He’s a New Age healer, but he is not licensed by the state and does this as a hobby. He runs his clinics in his basement, and one happens to be for men who have a strong desire to suck cock that want to learn to control it.”

Then I said, “That sounds just perfect for me Dave. Please tell me a little more about it.”

Then he continued, “Well, he has several different groups, one of which is for middle-aged married men in your situation. He does have other sessions for gay men and younger married men as well, because their motivations can be quite different than married men like you. For example, the married men most often don’t have a romantic attachment to the people they suck. The cause of their desires is often linked to their wives not fucking them as much. They just like the sexual act itself, while some of the gay clients are also trying to deal with emotional attachments with the men they want to have sex with. Ravi utilizes a total-immersion technique where the client is given an intense experience of all of the cock and cum they can handle to try to get them over their obsession. Sometimes that works, but I have to warn you that some of the clients become even more addicted to cock and cum. Once he identifies those men, he just tries to teach them techniques to control the urges so they don’t become destructive.”

This was all very interesting to me and actually was turning me on a little. But I still had questions and asked, “How do you know so much about all of this Dave?”

Dave smiled and continued, “As you might imagine, the nature of those workshops is such that Ravi can’t really advertise them. All of the clients and the others involved come to him by word of mouth from other participants. I became involved when our neighbor Alex asked me to come to one of the sessions with him. For every client trying to control their urges, he has four or five feeders to provide the cocks and cum for the client. The group Alex was in had lost a couple of feeders, so he invited me to join. The primary criteria to join as a feeder are that we need to have larger than average cocks and shoot big cum-loads, want to have our cocks sucked regularly, and that we keep everything confidential. Once I joined I learned that our other neighbor Malcolm was also a feeder. All three of us are about your age and our wives aren’t fucking us very much either. But in our case we have become feeders and like to have our cocks sucked, while some men like you exhibit their frustration by more-submissive behavior, becoming cock suckers.”

Alex is a Mexican guy with three kids, and Malcolm is a black man with two kids. We sometimes went fishing together and were all together at neighborhood cookouts, and I had no idea that any of them would be involved in this type of thing. Then I said, “Holy shit Dave, I had no idea that you guys would be involved in something like this. What else can you tell me about the clinic?”

Then Dave said, “Well, the biggest problem is finding enough feeders for each cock sucker. In the real world there are many more men willing to be beta-type cock suckers, who usually have smaller dicks, than there are alpha-type feeders, who normally have larger cocks. So we have to work hard sometimes to find the feeders we need. For that reason Ravi has a hard time taking care of all of his cock-sucking clients. But we just happen to have an opening at the moment because one of the guys has dropped out, so I can talk to Ravi about you and see if you can join, that is if you are interested.”

I said, “Damn right I’m interested. I just have to learn to control these urges before I do something stupid.”

Then Dave said, “Okay Ed, I’ll see what I can do. But in the meantime, I sure could use another suck job right now. How about it, can you do me again right now?”

Dave had been sitting there the whole time with his cock and balls hanging out, so without saying another word I got back down on my knees in front of him and lifted his balls to my mouth. I always did like sucking balls in high school, and there was just something about the taste and texture of the scrotum and the testicles moving around in my mouth that got me excited. After sucking his balls for a few minutes I took that big cock back into my mouth and gave him another great blowjob. My reward was his big load of cum that I swished around in my mouth and savored before swallowing it. And I was starting to remember that the taste, texture and smell of cum were my major attractions to sucking cock.

We finished our day of fishing, but all I could think about was that first meeting with Ravi. And then after we loaded up the boat and got back into my SUV, Dave had me suck him off again. It was easy to see that he made a good feeder for the group since his third ejaculation for the day was still more plentiful than my first one would have been.

Dave took me to Ravi’s the following Tuesday night, and there were four feeders there including Dave, Alex and Malcolm. I was also soon to find out that Ravi was also a feeder for my session. I was embarrassed at first seeing Alex and Malcolm there, because they knew that I was the client/cock sucker for the evening. After the introductions, Ravi told me how the evening would go. He said, “Okay Ed, our first goal is to see if a forced diet of cock and cum is enough to get you to lose interest in sucking cock. So the men will push you to your limits and continue to feed you their cocks for as long as they can still get them hard. Dave has told me that you sucked his cock three times in one day at the lake, so I can see we’ve got our work cut out for us with you. To get things started, I want you to show me your thanks for letting you join the clinic by sucking my cock.”

Ravi had a low divan in his basement which was used for sucking their cocks. He had me lie down with my head by one edge, and then he removed his satin robe. His cock was still soft and about eight cut inches long and very thick, and his balls were huge. His genitals were almost black as many are from that region of the world, and the next thing I knew he had backed up over my face and was feeding me his balls. His had a virile, but not too pungent odor, and I quickly started sucking his balls. During this time his cock was hardening to its full 10 inches, and he pulled back and pushed it into my mouth. He didn’t seem to care that I was choking on his big cock, and he kept up my face-fucking until my gag reflex was under control and he was pushing that big, black cock all the way into my throat. He soon came hard and pulled back a little as his cum gushed into my mouth.

After he got off of me I could see that the other men had all stripped down and were gathered around the bench. Then my neighbor Alex stepped up and his nine inch brown cock was already hard. He got on top of me and fucked my mouth until he also unloaded in me. I had now swallowed two huge loads of cum but more was to come.

Malcolm was next and his hard, black, uncircumcised cock had to be 11 inches long and thicker than my wrist. He first sat on my face to feed me his asshole, balls and perineum. Then he lay back on the divan and had me crawl between his legs and I sucked him until he unloaded an exceptionally big load of black seed into my mouth. It really felt strange sucking these neighbors that I had known for years, and they were fucking my mouth and throat like a cunt.

Dave was next and he also ravished my mouth and throat, and I was rewarded by another huge load of his semen. I didn’t previously know the other man in the room, but his name was Gino and he was a heavily hung Italian guy who really liked to abuse a cock sucker. He pounded my face for at least 15 minutes before blowing his load straight down my throat. I had now had five big loads of cum in my stomach and I loved every bit of it.

By the time Gino was finished with me the other men had rested up, and they started the next round fucking my face. And then there was a third round, and by the end of that my stomach was full with 15 huge loads of cum and starting to get a little upset. That was the end of the session for the evening, and Dave took me back home where I ate some food to help absorb all of the cum in my stomach. The bottom line though was that I loved the different tastes and textures of the cum of those five men, and I could hardly wait for the next session. My schedule was to have two sessions per week.

I continued with the clinic for another two months, usually swallowing at least 15 loads of cum each night, and sometimes much more if additional feeders showed up. It was soon obvious to everyone that I was not getting turned off by all of those cocks and cum, but actually desired even more. At that point I continued the clinic for another month, but Ravi started giving me suggestions for how to handle my obsession for sucking cock and swallowing cum, while still enjoying it.

It was surprising to me that after that last month his suggestions were working and I was better able to compartmentalize my cock sucking desires, and focus on my job and family when I needed to. So it was suggested that I had been cured, even though I still wanted a steady diet of cock and cum, and I stopped going to the clinic. However, the good thing about having Dave, Alex and Malcolm as neighbors, I was able to suck them off at every opportunity. My wife sometimes wondered why I was spending so much time at their homes helping them with projects, but she didn’t know that I spent every possible moment sucking their big cocks. They even started including some other friends of theirs, so I was getting a steady diet of neighborhood cock and cum.

One day Dave and I were talking after I had sucked him for the second time that day, and I asked him whether that clinic was genuine, or whether it was just an excuse for all of the feeders, including Ravi to get their cocks sucked many times per week. Dave laughed and said, “Very good Ed, I was wondering when you’d realize that his clinic is mostly a setup for getting several of us all of the suck jobs we want. But I also think he helped you because you are now able to control your urges when you need to, and still be able to enjoy my, Alex and Malcolm’s cocks as often as you like. Hell, we don’t even need to go to the clinic that much anymore with you in the neighborhood.”

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