January 2027

I was in the basement of our house looking through an old box I had stored years ago in a crawl space left over when we built the house. Due to the house’s design, this was just a small area of unusable extra space hidden behind a plywood wall. I had stashed a couple of boxes there for safe keeping. Until the letter arrived yesterday, I had almost totally forgotten them. The letter brought it all back.

The first line of the return address said Rho Sigma Chi in big letters. I immediately thought I knew why I received it; the ten-year reunion was due. I ripped it open; I was right. They invited me to join the festivities slated to take place over a weekend this coming May at my old university.

So many memories came flooding back. Ten years had passed. I had been married for the last eight of them, had two children and a responsible, well-paying job. The invite is what had me digging through the old box. It contained all my high school and university yearbooks. It also contained my diaries. I had kept a diary for every high school and university year. Eight diaries where I had told my deepest secrets. I wrote notes, thoughts, summaries about my hopes and dreams, my desires and disappointments, and my sexual experiences. Although I had some very good, close friends, I did not entrust them with my deepest, private thoughts. Some things just had to stay undisclosed, except to my diary. It was my secret friend that I could entrust with anything.

I started with the last yearbook, my senior university year 2016-17. All my sorority Sisters and many other friends had signed it. Everyone had left a comment. They ran the gamut of “Let’s stay in touch,” to “Remember that night and our very unofficial motto.” I burst out laughing at that. I had forgotten that also. Certain frat boys called us the sorority that relished sucking cock, a play on the first letters of our name.

They weren’t entirely wrong. I knew when I pledged Rho Sig that it had a party reputation; it lived up to its reputation. More memories were revived. Parties, dates, all manner of male-female, some female-female, experiences ran through my mind. It was all a bit mesmerizing as long put away memories came to the surface. Then the big one hit me, the person and memory I could never forget, but had managed to push to the dark confines of my mind. I needed to see my diary for my last year. Remembering it was the only red one I had - all the others were either black or blue - I found it at the bottom of the box.

Having read the pages a number of times, I knew just where to turn. There it was, November 6, 2016. Leaning back against the wall, the careless scribbles of my handwriting almost leaped off the page.

Sunday, November 6, ‘16

Well Diary I think I am now officially a slut. We both know I have done some rather audacious things but I think this seals it. Sat afternoon Tim called to change our plans. It was going to be a DVD and maybe (said he) a bit of video games. Beginning to hate games, not so sure about him either... Said he and his friends had found a mostly black club in the city that was supposed to be really hot, he wanted to go, told me to dress sexy, show myself off a bit. Sounded intriguing so I agreed. I wore my shortest mini skirt, thong, a too big cami top that allowed a view from the right position, no bra.

He picked me up at 9; we got there just before 10. The place was packed.  He was right, almost all black. Dance floor crowded, hip hop music playing loud. We got drinks and watched the action - it was flashy, some were being pretty provocative, twerking was common. I was ready to hit the floor when he saw two of his gamer buddies–losers. Why they were there was beyond me he wanted me to go with him to talk to them. No way was I doing that! Told him to go if he wanted, he did, jesus! Leaving me alone, I turned my back to the bar and just watched. Was getting horny just watching what seemed like mass foreplay.

I got another drink and went back to watching, Tim still gone - Now I’m having why am I with him thoughts. I made eye contact with a black guy I had been watching, wanted to break it off but didn’t. He grabbed his package, smirked at me, motioned for me to come to him. His stare drew me in. What was I doing? He looked like a gangsta, pants hangin low, underwear showing, sloppy tank shirt swinging as he moved.

I felt... spellbound, possessed-I began to walk his way... Now I saw what he was holding–that could not be all him. When I got close enough, he grabbed my arm, pulled me close, shoving another girl away, she yelled something he ignored. Let’s see your moves baby he shouted in my ear, then backed away. I fell right into it, moving, twisting, twirling. Twerk me baby he shouted, I did, I felt what he was holding, it was all him. He slapped my ass twice and pulled me up. I made a quick look for Tim – nowhere to be seen – as he shouted great bod baby what you doin here? You want some of dis? And pulled his package toward me.

Oh Diary, this is where I started to go bad... I am blaming the alcohol... You just want some of this I shouted as I flashed my boobs for him. You right baby but you never had dis he yelled as he let his pants slide more and grabbed his cock through his boxers. Diary he was enormous!

Some girls were now topless, getting felt as guys grinded into them. The room seemed to swirl in a raunchy sexual air that was palpable. He pulled me close, hands on my boobs, tongue in my mouth. I looked again for Tim, I really did - no Tim. I admit it, my defenses were down, I was weak, god I reached down... My first thought was he is twice as big as Tim, then I thought of the possibilities... Diary I really tried not to, really I did...

He had me by the hand and was pulling me through the crowd. I was bumping off people as he pulled me. We ended up in a very dim hallway, I saw the bathroom signs as we passed them. Then he backed me in a corner, he had my top up and groped me as our mouths again met. I admit I had given up.  I wanted him but here!? No way!

Squat down and suck it! Thats what I heard, not me, not here! But he pushed and I slowly sank. It was already out, the biggest cock I had ever seen was prodding my face. I held it with both hands -they did not go around it - and took it in my mouth. Awe was about all I could think, awe and amazement. He held my head, moving it back and forth, I almost choked and you know I deepthroat Tim easily. I was SO horny, I touched myself, was stunned by my wetness and the quiver that ran through me. He pulled me up saying now your gonna take it, all my black jizz for this white girl. I swear I was in a daze but I did want him, I was SO friggin hot for him!

He pulled me again. This time to the men’s bathroom. My mind was shouting, what? Here? No! But in we went. No one paid any attention as he pushed me into the first stall and locked the door behind him. Get that thong off and bend over he ordered. I complied handing him my thong. He felt and smelled it – Oh yeah you more than ready anit you? Git yer head on the tank. I was already almost there, arms crossed head laying on them. Then it started!

There must have been a girl in the next stall doing the same. I heard her muffled shouts of ecstasy and flesh slapping flesh. Then he began to invade me! God Diary I was transfixed with the thrill! Never before had I felt anything close to him, my tunnel was stretched beyond belief, my normal feelings magnified enormously! I know I must have been screaming, he pumped and pumped me relentlessly. Then I felt his hot seed pulsing, pulsing, my legs gave out but he held me up until he was finished. Then he let me down sitting facing the wall backwards on the toilet my head still on my arms.

As I began to raise up he told me – so white girl now you be hooked on my cock. That white boy left you alone, now you mine. Oh Diary I had never felt so many conflicting emotions in my life! God he fucked me like I never imagined - orgasms like I’ve never felt! He was right how could Tim compete? I would get over it I told myself, a one time mistake a big mistake. I put my number in your phone, call Shuan when you want more he said. Then he was gone, left me sitting backwards on a toilet in the mens room. I pulled myself together and stumbled out, his cum running down my leg.

I went looking for Tim. Damn Diary, I was super conflicted. I knew I loved what had just happened, slutty as it was. I was mad at Tim for leaving me alone – I thought he might not be my BF much longer. I was going to try to clean up a bit but then figured fuck it, I’ll see what Tim figures out, if anything.

Once back on the dance floor he found me he asked where I had been. I told him I was dancing, he must have missed seeing me. He said he was sorry. I told him I was horny and wanted to go home, this was going to be a test. For sex he would have to eat me first then I would see what happened. He did not resist my suggestion.

So Diary we got to his place and into bed. He never noticed the dried spunk on my legs but he did comment on how I tasted different than he had ever known before. I almost burst out laughing, Tim eating Shuans drippings. I spent the night and he took me home in the morning which is where I write this now. Damn Diary what to do, what to do, if anything...

I felt twenty-one again. I opened my jeans, pushing them and my panties down. My fingers slipped between my lips - I was soaked! A few minutes of caressing brought on the orgasm I did not realize was so close. Sitting there enjoying the fading tremors I had experienced, I wondered what had ever become of Shuan. Was he even still alive? I never knew for sure, but he seemed to live a risky life that I always thought was, at least in some part, outside the law.

I thought back to that morning after finishing my Diary entry, I vowed it was over, never to happen again. It was an aberration that, while admittedly was fun, could not go on. I saw Tim Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, having sex every day. Shuan was being wiped from my memory. Each day I wrote a brief account of my day’s activity. It was nothing thrilling.

Then Thursday afternoon I surrendered. Searching my phone’s contact list for “Shuan”, I hit dial when it appeared. Having just read my Diary, the conversation came back instantly. I probably did not remember it word for word, but it sure seemed like it.

“Yeah?”
 
“Hi Shuan, it's Jill.”

After a pause, “I don’t know no Jill, bye.”

“Wait, wait!” I shouted. “From Saturday night at the club. We... ah... well we got together.”

“Oh, yea. You the white chick I banged in the bathroom?”

“Well... ah yes. I hoped you thought a bit more of me than that.”

“Sorry baby, course I do. I never 'spected you would really call me. Rich white girl, poor black ghetto guy, one night stand, walk on the wild side for you. So waz up?”

“I was thinking we might get together. That is if you want to.”

I heard a bit of a chuckle and then, “So you want some more good black dick huh?”

Thinking, Of course, that’s what I want! I replied, “Let’s just call it an experiment in social awareness.”

“Whatever, be here at six tonight. Bring a six-pack and a pizza.”

I recalled being surprised by his words. I was not sure I was ready for that night. My mind had sort of a nebulous future time in mind. Also, I’m bringing beer and pizza? And where is “here”? I quickly got it together and asked, “So where is ‘here’?”

He gave me directions to his “crib” in Building D of an apartment complex. From the area he described, it was definitely in the ghetto. In as respectful a way as possible, I asked him if he was sure a white girl would be safe in that neighborhood.

He laughed. “It’s the ‘hood but my boys be out front. Park under the street light. You'll have no problem. I guarantee it.”

“Okay, see you tonight,” I replied, excited and a bit dubious about what I was about to do.

He laughed again. “Tonight be much better than Saturday. Shuan take good care of you. Dress hot!” Then the phone went dead.

I giggled to myself as I recalled my thoughts and feelings. Concerned is putting it mildly when I thought of driving to the black part of the city; the other side of the tracks as some would say. The university black guys I had dated were not like Shuan in any way. I had been told there were parts of the city I should not go alone, Shuan’s area being one of them. Although Shuan was more than a little rough around the edges, compared to the guys I had known, I had an unexplainable confidence that he would watch out for me - call me crazy!

I thought about writing all this in my Diary but decided to wait until the evening was over and everything would be happily rolling through my brain, hopefully...

So I took my time preparing: bath, baby smooth shave, bright red nails and lipstick, tight denim shorts, a skintight tank top and no undergarments; I did not want to lose any more lingerie to him.  

I took a deep breath, ordered the pizza and left to pick it and the beer up on my way to his “crib”.

Friday, November 11, ‘16

Oh Diary what have I done? The official slut has descended even further into the realm of slutdom or sluthood. I am too wired to sleep; I need to write to my secret friend.

It was a full city block covered by asphalt parking and four story cement-block buildings, all painted white that now looked a dingy grey. Most were at least partially covered in colorful graffiti. If it had any meaning, it was beyond me. The big faded black “D” stood out on a building that fronted the street. At least I did not have to wander through the seeming maze of buildings to find his. I parked under the streetlight near the stairs to the second floor where he lived. There was a group of five or six guys at the foot of the stairs hangin around, I could already hear the whistles, catcalls, hooting. Somehow, I gathered the nerve to get out of the car, beer and pizza in hand.

As I began to walk hesitatingly towards the stairs I heard a voice shout, Hey fools, she my woman, chill out! He was standing at the top of the stairs wearing only silk-like white boxers. Comon babes get up here. Suddenly quiet, the sea parted and I walked unhindered to and up the stairs. Hey babelet, hot look, comon.

I walked into a dark apartment, lit only by the glow from a large tv on which an obviously amateur porn movie was running. I asked about light, he said he liked the dark and took the beer/pizza. We sat on a couch in front of the tv, he opened beers for us and got out slices. As we ate/drank he explained the movie was him and his friend James “doin” some married woman while her husband watched. I felt like I was in a twilight dimension. He got excited telling me the next part was him. He did drive her crazy – it was impressive. Why wasn’t it happening to me??

He started playing with my tits, surprisingly tenderly and sensually – I could feel how soaked I was. Then off came my top and I straddled him as he played more. I began rubbing myself on his hard cock. Here I was, going crazy humping him in a room lit only by a glowing tv. He was seemingly calm and I was going mad wanting him. Finally I blurted out - are you going to fuck me or what??!! He laughed saying he wondered how long it would take me. I lightly slapped him as he told me to hold on and then stood up, carrying me to his bedroom. It had one small light on. He def had a thing for darkness.

He pulled me away and tossed me on the bed like I was a bag of feathers. He dropped his boxers, erect cock standing ready. I jumped up and pulled off my gooey shorts. As I did I looked at the wall, it was covered with all kinds and colors of panties thumb-tacked to it. It looked like my thong in the middle. More twilight dimension. I think my jaw dropped. He said, my trophy wall, that be your thong in the middle. - You’ve had sex with that many women I asked. - Few more, could not get a trophy from all, he said. - Jesus Christ Shuan, I blurted out. Laughing he pushed me back, put my arms under his shoulders and started running his cock up and down my dripping swollen slit. We were kissing when he slid in me. God Diary! It was even better than at the club. Damn he stretched me more than I thought possible – I loved it!! He had me screaming, shouting and quivering in no time.

Eventually he flipped me over and grabbed my hair pulling me up as he began to spank my ass. These were not love slaps, they were whacks that shot charged, thrilling bolts through me. They stung but I wiggled my ass at him with each one, almost asking for more. At the same time he was rubbing and prodding my ass. - Do the white boy fuck your ass? It be mighty sweet. - I softly admitted that he did. - Good! Next time I be in there. - Dread and excitement both ran through my mind. Those thoughts were quickly wiped away as he completely plunged back in me. That huge black cock filled every bit of me that had remained unreached in the past. With an iron grip on my hips he pounded me relentlessly. I was gasping for breath in between cumming. I was begging for respite while wanting more. Finally he groaned powerfully, I felt his hot seed filling me, I came one last earth shaking time and collapsed.

Before I realized he was gone, he was back with water and a damp towel. I shakily sat up, guzzled the water and wiped my sweat soaked body. – Damn Jill, you one hot woman! – This guy is an enigma I thought. The club was dirty, nasty, rough, quick - I loved it. This was part gentle part rough but always amazingly great - again I loved it! He even remembered my name.

So you ready for more? - Good God Diary! How could he be ready? But he was. I flopped on my back and he proceeded to delicately go down on me, just licking, kissing, sucking enough to excite but not overdoing it. I shamelessly reveled in his treatment as my sensitive pussy recovered. I was the fish that swallowed the hook deep, probably not soon to be released.

The second time was slower, more tender, even sort of caring. I did not feel like a piece of meat to be chewed and the grizzle spit out. I did not cum as often, but the ecstasy from his beast in me was huge. We finished on our sides. He stayed in me after his fierce discharge; we fell asleep.

So now I am home, writing to you. I am exhausted but too tired to sleep. I missed several txts from Tim. I really felt nothing, what am I going to do about him???  

I put the book down. Now there was a tiny rivulet carrying drops of my silky juice to a small puddle on the floor. Again I reached down... After the orgasm had passed I thought of the aftermath of that night. How I had gently pushed Tim away. How that trip to Shuan’s “crib” was just the first of many weeknights spent there. The weekends were for dates and parties with university friends and some lovers... Had to keep up appearances, I was a Rho Sig girl.

I looked through more pages. Account after account of my time spent with him. It was more than sex; we got to know each other as symbiotic humans, each trying to make our way in this life, knowing that we would never have a life together.

My diary entries were just a synopsis of my experiences, but certain words or phrases would trigger specific memories that would replay in my mind like a movie. One of those was my second visit to his “crib”. He made good on his promise to take me anally. Our sex started much as it had the week before, but he had not cum when he pulled out and said, “Get on your knees girl.” I swiftly complied, wanting him back in me and the ecstasy to continue.

He was back quickly and one of his fingers soon followed into my ass. With the right partner, I had been enjoying anal sex for a couple years so his finger felt good.

“Oh yea, lover,” I exclaimed, “explore my ass. I love it!”

“I gonna ‘splore it all right babes,” he said as a second finger slid in. They went in easy. I realized that he must have some lube. His promise from the previous week flashed back to me. Now I was nervous even though his two fingers did feel good.

“Shuan baby I’m not sure I’m ready for you in there.” This while I was insatiably exclaiming how much I loved his cock.

“Oh, you ready baby. You ass be spreading just fine,” he said as I felt a third finger begin to probe me.

I was in such a state of euphoria from the constant fervor and thrills running through me that most of my worry left; I wanted it.

“When you do it, please, please go slow. Let me get used to it. I want this to be as perfect as it can be. God, Shuan I am kinda freaked.”

“Don’t trip baby. Shuan take good care of you. I want you back for more and more.”

With that, his fingers came out. I felt the cool lube as it covered and readied my partially open rose. Then his cock-head began to press. Trying to relax, Oh god, oh god, kept running through my mind. I had known the feeling many times before, but not to this extent. The stretching seemed to go on and on, but it was really only seconds before he popped in and paused.

“See babes, you a pro, you take it easy.”

“Fuck, Shuan you’re huge in there. I want it but slow baby, take me slow. Then give me your load. I want all that black seed flooding in me.”

He did go slow. I could feel myself relaxing more and more, my opening beginning to easily accommodate him. Soon he was pumping me, and I was moaning and squealing in delight. Not too much later his groaning deepest penetration occurred as he released his surges of luscious cum.

I collapsed on the bed with him on top, still in me, but holding his weight off me. He whispered in my ear, “You special Jill, you very special.” I’ve never forgotten those words.

Up to that point in my life, this was probably the most wicked, nasty, depraved thing I had ever done. I had mentally written off the club as a semi-drunk, one-off thing. Then, I called him and came to his apartment for more sex.

I kept paging through the diary, stopping to read parts about Shuan that caught my eye. My casual writing, almost note-taking, was enough to bring every entry lucidly back to mind. All the weeks in November and December, up to Christmas break, I spent at least one weeknight at his place. We got to know each other. It was still about the sex for both of us, but he was interested in my life and I in his. I was open and honest about everything he asked. He was open about some things, but he would never talk about his personal life concerning a job or business. I always assumed he was dealing drugs or some other illegal activity, but I never saw any evidence of it. Where his money came from was a complete mystery to me; I realized that was probably for the best.

After the almost three-week holiday break, I could not wait to get my Shuan fix. We had texted a few times, but I kept them short, trying not to be the needful slut that I felt like. He was as anxious as me, texting me the day I was to arrive back about coming over. I could not make it that day, but the next evening I was there. Absence made my pussy grow more addicted. He gave me the elixir I needed, repeatedly and emphatically. My diary noted my satisfying soreness.

Then there was the diary entry for January 14, 2017.

Wow Diary! It is a good thing you can keep a secret. I crossed another threshold tonight, one I did not anticipate. Shuan had started having one of his boys get dinner and beer for us, tonight it was chinese. He wanted me topless and I was more than happy to show them off as we ate and drank. He had a hard time keeping his eyes off them and seemed especially excited about something. When I asked, he just denied it, saying I was imagining things.

As we were finishing there was a knock at the door. He jumped up, went over to it, looked through the peep hole and opened it. In strolled a guy I did not know. He was about Shuan’s size; they almost looked like twins. I instinctively covered my boobs and gave Shuan a questioning glare.

Comere babes. Member the video with me and another guy doin that woman? This is James, the other guy. We gonna give you a special night. If you want it... Wanted to surprise you.

I remembered clearly. My first visit, and the video he was so proud of. Holy crap I thought that this guy is his carbon copy, cock-wise. I was stunned. Diary, you know I have had two guys before, but it was at frat parties. They were first one then the other guy, not what this could turn out to be. Was I really just that piece of meat or was he really trying to just give me more thrills?? I kept staring at Shuan and he got a sort of sheepish uncomfortable look. He had never displayed anything like that before, he was always the tough guy; I believed him.

My libido and eager attraction to the idea got the best of me. I dropped my hands and walked over to them. You better measure up to Shuan I told him - We all laughed. - My nervousness was gone. We sat on the couch, me in-between. Hands and lips roamed all over me. I just put my head back and let them explore. Explore they did, kissing, tweaking, fondling - it was not long until I was really worked up; I wanted their cocks!

Just as I was about to say something, Shuan stood, pulling James with him. - Dude, show the girl what she wants. - They both quickly stripped and teasingly waved their cocks in my face. I never thought at the time how nasty and slutty others might find this, I just grabbed them both and pulled them to me. I sucked and licked each one, switching back and forth as they were urging me on. Shuan easily resisted my eager treatment but I could tell that James could not, so I focused on him, draining his first torrent of the evening.
            
Then Shuan picked me up (he loved doing that) and took me to his bed and the usual toss onto it. All this time I was nervous thinking about all the possible things that might go down with us. I tried to cover it up by joking and teasing with them, they laughed and bantered right back.

I was glad I did not have to decide what to do next. James’s mouth found my pussy and Shuan’s cock my mouth. And so the night began... Oh Diary, I did things I had never contemplated. I had more O’s than ever, by far!

After James got me off, I stayed on my back. They started to do me, switching back and forth, never cumming, those two huge cocks just making me cum - over and over and over... I don’t know how to describe my mental state... it was otherwordly, seemingly out of body sometimes. I had lost all control, I was just a vessel for them to use and I loved it! Whatever shame or guilt I might have felt at one time was gone. I wanted this; I wanted to be used, taken. I felt insatiable as my lust was devouring me.

Shuan eventually filled me, then we all rested - collapsed is a better word. A while later they got me on my knees. I had a cock to suck as another stretched and filled me with each pounding stroke. I relapsed into the same state they drove me to before. The final experience of the night happened after they had again exhausted me, not to the degree as before, but I was approaching exhaustion. I am sure they knew this.

In moves quicker than my addled brain could comprehend, James was under me, pulling me down on his cock. Then I felt the cool lube and Shuan poking at my booty. I realized what they were about to do. I weakly shouted - No not that - but he pushed ahead. Diary, I really wanted it but was scared. I should have known Shuan would be gentle with me. Soon they impaled me in both holes. My god the sensation! The whole happening was beyond adequate description to you my dear Diary. My previous descriptions of animal lust, sensibility and wantonness pale compared to what this brought out of me. A previously unknown manifestation of hyper-sexuality appeared and overwhelmed me. My memory is faint; I had lost total control. They had their way, my body and mind simply responding to the flood of energy and eventually their seed, that they poured into me.

Now I was truly finished. My mind and body were useless, unresponsive to voice or movement, or so Shuan told me when I again became aware of myself. He was sitting on the bed next to me, but James was nowhere in sight. He gave me water. When I tried to talk, he interrupted, telling me to just lie back and rest. - We probably went too far. I only wanted to give you the ultimate sex thrill. - No it was great, you guys just wiped me out. It was beyond thrilling, no words to say. - I closed my eyes and did not open them until the sun was shining through the window.

Shaun had spent the night with me and was up the moment my eyes opened. He started to apologize again. I cut him off saying all was good. Oh Diary, all was good except for my body. Every muscle ached to one degree or another and my poor pussy was suffering badly. All that fun abuse had taken its toll.

A shower helped. I reassured Shuan I was totally cool with everything, giving him as big a hug and kiss as I could. Then I half walked, half stumbled to my car, made it home and fell in bed. Diary I do not regret anything. It was a night like never before. I would not trade the carnal wanton rapture for anything, but I also would never do it again.

After reading my Diary and flashing back to the events of my last year, I immediately sent an email confirming my attendance at the festivities and reserving a room in the hotel where it was going to be held. I so looked forward to seeing old friends and I again wondered about Shuan...

During the week, after I had sent my email to attend the reunion, everything about Shuan came back to me, bits at a time. On two occasions I again visited my Diary for that last year. I know my work suffered some that week and my infrequent episodes of self-satisfaction became much more frequent and intense.

Before graduation, I had already been recruited, and accepted a position, as a paralegal by a large law firm in a big city hundreds of miles away from the university and my childhood home. I moved with great expectations, leaving Shaun and that life behind. He and I spent my last night in town together. I had never tired of the enthralling and addictive thrills he provided. We parted knowing we had experienced something extraordinary and memorable that would probably never be repeated for either of us; it was a bittersweet goodbye.

When I started at the firm, I soon met Jon, a lawyer who had been there for three years and was clearly on a fast track to advancement. The meeting turned into dating, which turned into marriage two years later. A year after that, our first child arrived and then eighteen months later, our second. I was lucky that much of my work was done via computer, and the firm was very family friendly so I could often work from home, thus being able to keep on top of my assignments and also be there for the kids.

With good reason, I had hidden the memories of the year with Shuan in the deep recesses of my mind. Now they were fully exposed again, and I was infatuated with them. Since working with private investigators was part of my job for all kinds of pretrial work, both criminal defense and civil suits I had contacts in most of the major cities throughout the country. I decided that there would be no harm in just trying to find out what had become of Shuan, just to satisfy my curiosity.

To that end, I contacted a private investigator I worked with often who lived in my old stomping grounds. Framing my request as just a routine witness locate request I asked him to try to find Shaun. I knew very little to help him. I gave him his last name, Davis, his address from ten years ago, a physical description and added that “we” thought he had been or still was involved in some unknown criminal activity. As usual, he told me he would get right on it; I did not have high expectations of success.

About a week later my phone rang. I recognized the number, it was Hector, the PI I had contacted about Shaun.

“Hey Hector, how are you?”

“Doin’ good. Got some info regarding that guy Shuan you asked me to look into.”

“Wow, that was quick. I expected it would be a dead end.”

“I got lucky with my first two contacts. It was a piece of cake from there on. Do you want the run down now or a written report?”

Wanting no record of this whole inquiry, I told him to just give me the details now.

“Okay. Well, he owns Apex Car Sales. It has been in business for the past six years in the same location. The credit bureaus, etcetera, all have him in good standing. All indications are it is a legit company doing a good business. He does have an arrest record for conspiracy to distribute cocaine, but the charges were dismissed. That was seven years ago, nothing since. He is married with two kids. Other than the old arrest he seems to be clean and the business totally legit.”

“Man, that’s great work.”

“You know me, I aim to please,” he said with a bit of a chuckle. “Do you want his contact info? And how should I bill this?”

“Yeah, just read me out the info. I’ll copy it down. This is just an informal thing right now. As far as billing goes, just tell me how much and I’ll send you a check. I am really trying to help out a friend so I’ll get the money from them.”

“Okay, that’s cool. Ready to copy?”

He gave me all the information. I thanked him and told him a check would be in the mail. It would be a Postal Money Order bought with cash, something not traceable back to me.

Now that I had this information the question was, what was I going to do with it? This was January; the reunion was in May - I had four months to contemplate the different possibilities.

By the time late April had rolled around I had reread my Diary a number of times. Each time aroused me to the point of self-gratification. I really wanted to see him again, knowing where that would easily lead if I let it. I had never cheated on Jon. The idea left me anguishing over my feelings. How could I do this; how could I not do this? I was incredibly conflicted when it should have been an easy decision - no.

A week before I was leaving for that weekend I picked up the phone for at least the fiftieth time and put it down after partially dialing his number. What could it hurt? It was only a phone call. He might not even remember me; god that would crush me. I quickly snatched it up and dialed his number.

“Good morning. Apex Car Sales where our customers are our best friends. How can I help you?”

“Mr Davis please.”

“Who may I tell him is calling?”

“Jill McCa – sorry, Jill Larsen. A friend referred me to him to discuss a special car problem.”

“Just a minute, please. I’ll see if he is available. He’s very busy, I may need to take a message.”

Fat chance of that, I thought.

“Hello, Ms Larsen. This is Shuan Davis. How may I help you?” His deep friendly voice sent shivers up my back.

“Hi Shaun, this is Jill,” I said softly.

Silence on the line, then, “University Jill from maybe ten years ago?” he asked just as softly as I had spoken.

“Yes,” I whispered. I felt almost paralyzed.

“My god, Jill. How are you? Where are you? How did you even find me? Damn girl, it is great to hear your voice!”

Heartened by his voice and remembrance, I replied, “I’m good. Married with two great kids. I’m a paralegal so I was able to have a friend help find you.” I relaxed hearing the delight in his voice. “It’s really great to hear your voice again also. Sounds like you are doin’ good. A car dealership, sounds like you have made it.”

He laughed saying, “Ya, I made it outta the ‘hood in one piece and have a good life. I’m also married and also have two great kids. So why did you look me up after all the years? Hard to really believe it’s been as long as it has.”

“It’s been ten years. My sorority is having its ten-year reunion next week. That’s what prompted me to look you up. Old times, old memories... ”

“They’re not that old and they are great memories! You mean you’re going to be here next week? Where you stayin’? What days? We need to get together!”

“God Shuan, hearin’ your voice really brings it all back. My god, the fun we had...”

“And we can do it again girl. I don’t believe you called me just to say hi, did you?”

“Honestly, I didn’t know if I would even call you or what I would do if I did call... I’m going to be there Thursday afternoon. I’m stayin’ at the Le Grand Resort. We could meet for dinner somewhere away from the resort and then... Well, I will be free all night... Jesus, I am so friggin’ nervous! I feel like a high school virgin planning her lose it date.”

“Hey babes, you know ‘ole Shuan always took care of you. Remember when I laughed and what I said when you called me after our encounter at the nightclub?”   

That was one of the many things I had not forgotten.

“Yes, I remember, you sex maniac!”

“Hey, it takes two to tango, babes. I think you want a replay and so do I! You’re the best ever. You always have been,” he said in a manner that made me feel he still had a deep affection for me.

“You’re right, I do want that again. I did not fully know how much I missed it until now. I’m only going to be here the weekend, and I have various functions I have to attend, even so, I’ll have free time if you can get away more than Thursday night.”

“You name the place and time, I’ll be there. I want to spend as much time with you as possible. Also no worries, I’ll never be seen by your Sisters. I understand the delicacy of the situation.”

“Oh god, Shuan. After all this time... Okay I’m hangin’ up. I’ll keep you posted.”

After I put the phone down, I started to tremble. Then I realized my panties were now soaked. A trip to the Ladies gave me a chance for my fingers to give me needed relief and to then wipe away my copious silky discharge.

The days of waiting led to greater and greater anticipation and guilt. Never having cheated on Jon, now I had fully planned it. My emotions were all over the place. One moment I was feeling terribly wicked for what I was about to do and the next I was blissfully looking forward to it.

Finally, the day arrived. I boarded the plane filled with dread and anticipation. I took a Xanax, my savior during the past week, and went to sleep. I only woke when the flight attendant announced our arrival. I picked up the rental car and arrived at the resort in time for lunch. Being back in the town that held so many memories somehow relieved much of my anxiety.

After eating and settling into my room I called Shuan. He was exuberant with excitement and eagerness to see me; I returned his feelings. My guilt had evaporated. I was wrapped up in thoughts of the coming evening. We agreed on a nice restaurant where it was highly unlikely we would meet anyone who knew either of us. It was understood that with about a ten-minute interval, he would come back to my room after dinner.

I purposely arrived at the restaurant late, not wanting to possibly wait for him. As I walked up to the Maître D' I saw him sitting at a far back, somewhat secluded, booth. We spotted each other just as the Maître D' was asking if he could help me. I told him I saw my friend; he gestured for me to proceed.

Shuan stood as I approached. We embraced and kissed, time had just faded away. At first, our conversation was a bit anxious, but that soon gave way to talk of our families and then it evolved into arousing remembrances of our times together. He pulled me close, a hand casually rubbing across my breasts. Then he began caressing my thigh. He went higher and higher, but never actually touched my soaking sweet spot. I did the same to him, although missing his cock was hard to do; I managed it for the most part, even though it was obviously engorged.
                                                
We struggled like that through dinner and decided to skip dessert in favor of the fundamental reason for our meeting, spending the night together. I gave him my room number and left first, reminding him to give me ten minutes.

After two kids, my body was not what it was ten years ago, but I had worked hard to stay in shape. Looking in the mirror did not embarrass me. Once in my room, I changed into a sheer spaghetti strap gown. I had prepared for the evening like I did for my first trip to his “crib”: bath, baby smooth shave, bright red nails and lipstick, and now nothing under the gown. Soon there was a knock at on the door; I opened it for him.

“My god, Jill, you look amazing! You are as beautiful and stunning as ever!”

I knew the light was right to show me through the gown. Twirling around twice gave him a good look. He pulled me into a tight hug as I whispered, “Get those clothes off lover and show me how much you’ve missed me.”

“With the utmost pleasure!” he said as his garments began to be rapidly discarded.

I dropped to my knees as his still magnificent organ popped free. God what a treat after all the years! I devoured him. Licking, sucking, kissing it as I took it in and out of my mouth. Soon he was moaning and sighing as he held my head, moving me back and forth. I tasted his pre-cum and pulled away.

“Not yet. Take me to bed and fuck me like you used to.”

I let my gown drop to the floor just before he scooped me up in his arms. A few steps and he tossed me on the bed. He had not lost his touch. Then, burying himself between my legs, he began his own licking and sucking until I cried out from my orgasm and had to push his head away from my super sensitive clit.

He made his way up me, stopping to kiss, suck and tweak my nips. He had me well on the way. Then I felt his cock rubbing up and down my slit as he held me tight, legs under his arms.

“Put it in slow, baby. I want to savor your penetration to my depths.”

He did just that. I was stretched and spread like I had not felt in ten years.

“God, Shuan, I did not realize how much I have missed this. I put all this out of my mind and now everything is rushing back. Fuck me baby, fuck me hard and deep. Make me yours again!”

I slipped back into that netherworld he drove me to ten years ago. I know I was moaning and screaming from uncounted orgasms. My body was quivering uncontrollably; I did not want it controlled, I just wanted him. Finally, I felt the rush of his hot jizz surging into me; I was shaken with one last climax.

He lifted and flopped down beside me. “Jill I feel ten years younger. This was fantastic! You are as tight as ever. How did you do that after two kids?”

I laughed. “Hard work at the gym and Kegels.”

“Well, it’s all paid off for you. If I did not know better I would swear we were back in '16.”

“I feel that way myself. I assume you are going to spend the night? We used to have some protracted sessions as I remember... ”

“That is absolutely my intention! I expect you to be as sore in the morning as you used to get ten years ago. Speaking of which I happened to notice a tube of lube on the bedside table... ”

“Like I said, just like ten years ago. Jon does me there so I am sure I will have no problems if you are as gentle as you used to be.”

He did spend the night. We used every waking hour to ravish and enthrall each other. By morning we were both delightfully exhausted, but we both had commitments to keep.

Just like the excitement to see Shuan, I was eager to see my Sisters from ten years ago. We had a wonderful weekend: renewing old friendships, reminiscing about our young crazy days, even our unofficial motto, which was apparently still a popular saying among guys in the know, was mentioned a few times.

I saw Shuan on two more occasions. He could not spend those nights, but we still found plenty of time to unleash our passions for each other; he had made good on his promise to leave me exhilaratingly sore. Then, once again, a bittersweet parting. It was back to Jon, the kids, and my routine day-to-day world...

In life, we have to make decisions and live with them. The guilt I felt on the way home was mine to bear. My time with Shuan was wonderful, but it would not replace Jon and the kids. This, or anything like it, would never happen again. Those Diary pages would be destroyed.